Princess Grell
by Madame Stephanie
Summary: Grell is kidnapped by Sebastian's enemy and it becomes Sebastian's duty to rescue him. Once he is safe Sebastian helps him recover and in the process wins Grell's heart. William is determined to win Grell's heart back.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Princess Grell is unusual because it is written by two people. The first person is me and the second person is my younger sister. I start the chapter and after the break my sister finishes the chapter. Princess Grell is also unusual because it was not written for publication. It was written for fun but I decided to publish it later. - Madame Stephanie

* * *

"Sebastian," the voice of Sebastian's young master, Earl Ciel of the Phantomhive house, broke the heavy silence that had lingered in the air of the Earl's office like a stale smell. Even though Sebastian, the Earl's butler, had heard his master he did not look up from the crystal ornament that he held gingerly in his slender, gloved hand and polished professionally with a damp rag. It resembled water, Sebastian had decided, he had cleaned this same trinket many times before. The light reflected and rippled on its clear surface as he moved it in his hand, and if he were to hold it still and look directly at it he could see his face and his shining, red eyes reflected - the eyes of a demon.

"Sebastian!" the Earl repeated himself, taking quickly to anger. Ciel was very rarely in what Sebastian would call a good mood, but recently his already agitated master was even more irritable. It was a phase, Sebastian knew, influenced by the trauma of recent events - it was understandable, for a human. Sebastian doubted that he would ever understand how and why humans let the fate of others affect their daily life. Of course, Sebastian had never loved before, the way Ciel had loved. There had been times in his life when he had felt sympathy, even empathy, for others – but those were few and far between - never though, had he loved or been loved.

Sebastian set down the ornament in the same spot as before. He turned to his master then and acknowledged his demand. Every word that Ciel spoke to him was a demand, even when he said his name he knew it was a demand to give him his full attention. There were few times when he and Ciel had a conversation outside of their contract, and when they did it was often cut short by Ciel, who to the best of his ability kept other people distant from him. It wasn't that Sebastian cared, it was better this way; he knew that one day he would be the one to take this boy's life and he didn't want to have any regrets.

His master was feeling unwell; he said that his head ached and that he was going to retire for the night but not before Sebastian bought him medicine from the nearby doctor. Sebastian placed a hand on his own shoulder and with a light bow replied, "Yes, my Lord."

...

Sebastian didn't need the carriage, he could travel extensive distances on his long legs, and only used the carriage when Ciel was coming with him. It was pleasant to walk, also. The sun was setting and the sky was golden rather than blue; streaked with reds, pinks and purples in the opposite direction of the way he was walking. He could feel the night beginning to set and the wind pushing him forward from behind as it hurried past, running its cold fingers through his dark hair.

Sebastian could see as he passed down the cobblestone walkway the town's women in stiff dresses that concealed their entire body, walking with their arms full of shopping bags and gift boxes. Their pale, powdered faces shone golden in the dying sun's rays and the oil in their hair made their doll-like locks even more brilliant than their skin. With their bright makeup, layers of satin and lace, and clouds of perfume these women were the wealthiest in all of England. Because this was the top of high society, prices in this district could reach unbelievable heights. Sebastian was one of few men here and many of the younger ladies would smile and courtesy before him, and for his master's reputation he bowed back.

There was a girl in particular; she could not have been a day over 18, who was astonishingly attractive for a human. She lifted the few layers of her dress that she could hold in a small courtesy with a smile apparent on her pink lips, to make his acquaintance – as she said, she knew the Phantomhive family, but had never spoken to the butler before. Sebastian though, knew this woman's name – "Lady Rose," he smiled and bowed, taking her hand and bringing it to his dry lips. "As I should say, my fair lady, I am pleased to make your acquaintance - although, it is not necessary for a mere and mild servant such as myself. My name is Sebastian Michaelis and I serve the Phantomhive family."

His head remained lowered when he smelt that intoxicating scent; it was very much unlike the perfume of Lady Rose or the other and considerably older aristocrats. It was stronger, bolder, and younger. It was pleasant, and strangely familiar. "Well, Lady Rose, I will be on my way now." And Sebastian lifted himself to his full height to continue to the doctor's where he would hopefully find something to relieve the young master's headache.

* * *

The sun was setting more slowly than William would have liked, he wished that night would fall more quickly, so that the chances of the store closing were higher than they would have been with the sun in the sky. It was too embarrassing to be in public with _him._ 'He' was of course Grell Sutcliff, who was embarrassing not only William, but himself with his silly expression as he spoke excitedly about the newly-released toy that he wanted to buy. With Grell's bizarre appearance, he may as well have been a crimson peacock when compared to the plain pigeons that inhabited this area. William was unsure of how he had gotten himself into this situation; he wished futilely that hadn't given in to escorting Grell, but he had been so _annoying._

Grell had told him more than he ever wanted to know about the particular human source of entertainment he wanted in a rapid, feminine voice. William had remained strong until the end, when Grell gave him his most pitiful face, but by then it was already afternoon. "Look Will, there it is!" He was so excited about finding the toy shop that he sped up and burst through the shop doors dramatically. William remained behind, to try and appear as though he wasn't shopping with him and watched Grell through the glass windows. Grell ran to the section where the new, scarlet version of the popular doll, Madame Missy, was being displayed. "Oh, she looks even better than she did in all of the advertisements! She looks just like me with her long, flowing red hair, lush eyelashes, dark blush, flamboyant clothing, and angelic face - it's the last one too - my luck never runs out! How I've -"

Grell's ranting was interrupted by the loud, angry voices of younger girls. "Mama, that was the last one!" "All of the Madame Missies are gone!" "That ugly girl took it!" "You're too old to be playing with dolls!" "She doesn't look _anything_ like you!" Grell, as he was bi-polar, quickly changed from happiness to anger. "Who are you calling an ugly girl, you little brats! Who do you think you are? You're all just _jealous!_" Grell put particular stress on the last word, and spoke in a louder voice, in his frustration losing his feminine one to his natural, more-masculine one. Somehow though, inspiration came to him, it was that word – jealous. He spoke it softly afterward, and it made him want to sing!

"Jealousy –

For me, getting the last Madame Missy -

All attacking me while I'm –

Shopping –

But it makes me want to sing - !

Yes -"

All of the girls were staring at Grell as if he was insane and dangerous (which he undoubtedly was). All of them were also curious as to what he was doing, his rhyming was awful!

"Jealousy –

For another –

Is something we all see –

For riches, beauty, popularity –

This is something all women feel for me – !

Yes -"

By now, Grell was beginning to really enjoy his song, and his voice grew louder and his dance more eccentric than before, passion lacing every word!

"Jealousy –

Gorgeous, precious, and petite -

Small and slender –

Hair like feather –

Never under weather –

In tight leather – !

_Yes - !"_

After Grell's third stanza, the girls began to complain loudly, they had never before been accused of being jealous of anything - certainly not for someone like _Grell._ "We're not jealous of you!" "Stupid!" "Freak!" "Be quiet!" Grell ignored all of the criticising and was about to begin again!

"Jealous -"

But there was a loud sound as the back of Grell's head was assaulted, he had been interrupted before he could finish or even begin his stanza. The store-keeper had hit the fanatical shinigami over the head with his cane. "Who do you think you are?" he began angrily, "I didn't hire you, get out of my store, you _freak!"_ He took the doll away from Grell, and pushed him through the shop doors and shut them loudly behind him. Grell heard the bell on the door ring loudly. William was outside, waiting patiently for Grell's return. "Do you always have to make a fool of yourself, Grell Sutcliff? That was a disaster."

Grell Sutcliff, though, was not listening to his manager - because he had been thrown directly at the feet of the man he loved - Sebastian Michaelis! "Sebastian?" Grell quickly stood to his feet from the hard cobblestone where he had been left so inconsiderately to discover that all of his sadness for losing the Madame Missy had ultimately disappeared! Sebastian was here for him! "Oh, Sebby! How spectacular it is for us to meet again!" Grell's inspiration returned to him, different from before but still as passionate, as he took Sebastian's hands in his own and began to sing again!

"L.O.V.E –

For you –

Is something I see –

You have riches, beauty, popularity –

Is this something that you feel for me - ?

Yes - ?"


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian was near the doctor's now, he had passed Lady Rose and since then that certain exotic scent had all but disappeared. He hadn't put much thought into that detail, though; he had unknowingly mistaken it for that of a more flamboyant aristocrat in the distance. As a demon, his five 5 senses were superior to that of a human's. He was passing the toy shop when something caught his attention from the inside, past the glassy staring eyes of the variety of Madame Missy dolls was someone he knew – Grell Sutcliff.

He paused to the side of the double-doors and watched Grell through the window. He was dancing, that much he could tell without sound, and he saw that his audience was a group of girls, many of which were younger than ten. Sebastian felt a sense of foreboding, his demonic instincts were urging him to leave now before Grell noticed him; his neurons were on fire and he hastily turned once again towards his destination and was about to flee when Grell was tossed out of the shop by the store manager and fell flat on his face right before his feet.

Sebastian knew he would now have to at least speak with the fanatical shinigami. With Grell at his feet, he could smell his perfume which he may have worn too much of, it was the same scent from earlier. If there was one positive outcome of this encounter, at least he would recognise Grell's scent earlier for future reference. On this afternoon of surprises, he heard another familiar voice. Sebastian looked away from Grell, who was no longer crumpled on the walkway, but on his hands and knees staring up at him with his mouth open and full of sharp, white teeth and an overrated expression resembling adoration.

William stood there, pushing his glasses even higher on his face. Sebastian and William looked into each other's eyes, he had a very strong impression that William didn't like him – that didn't bother him, though, there were very few who enjoyed the company of a demon and knew its true nature. Grell was an entirely different situation; there was something abnormal about him, so he didn't count. He looked back at Grell, but Grell was already standing – when he looked at him Grell declared how he felt it was "spectacular" for them to meet this way. Sebastian didn't respond - he didn't know what to think about that sentence.

He thought about that and when he found the words to express the way he felt, he opened his mouth to convey these thoughts, but it was too late – Grell took hold of both of his hands, and began to sing! Sebastian let Grell finish his song, but afterward he let go of Grell's hands and took a step back for some personal space. Sebastian sounded exasperated when he told Grell, "Good evening, Grell. If you would excuse me, I must be on my way."

* * *

Grell didn't want Sebastian to leave, it was difficult to catch the demon away from his master - and he might be able to make progress in their relationship with this encounter. He had to think of something to keep him here, something different, his usual attempts (flirting) only kept him there for a few seconds before he left even more quickly. Grell noticed that Sebastian was already leaving; he would have to at least distract him to keep him there while he thought of something. He was quick to move, and stood in front of Sebastian with outstretched arms as if to block him from going further.

It was apparent that William was embarrassed with Grell's behaviour, and spoke quickly after Grell had acted, "I'm sorry about this, Mister Michaelis. I will be taking this reaper back home now. It is clearly impossible to get that - _toy_. A human has probably purchased it by now, and they certainly aren't letting you back in, Grell." William gave Grell a threatening expression, as a silent order to follow him. Grell had received this look before and he knew what it meant.

"Wait, Will!" That's when it came to him! Grell looked up at Sebastian pleadingly, "Sebby, could you please get Madame Missy back for me? You're so good at things like that - please? I'll do anything you want!" Grell took a step back and began to wiggle out of excitement as he waited eagerly for an answer. William didn't hesitate to reply before Sebastian did.

"No Grell, we're going home. We're not going to make deals with demons, just forget about the doll. Come now, we're leaving."


	3. Chapter 3

Sebastian nodded politely at William, indicating that through past experience he had become used to Grell's behaviour, not that he was necessarily alright about it. He would have made his way past William and Grell after this but Grell suggested pleadingly before he could if he would retrieve his Madame Missy doll for him. Sebastian let out a long sigh, he didn't have time to be stealing dolls from little girls to give to Grell - he had to buy his master's medicine as soon as possible. If he hadn't run into these two, he would have been back by now. As the kind of person who thought before he spoke William was quicker to dismiss the idea. William had answered for him as though he hadn't been there, and that was very rude.

Sebastian looked to William; the dispatch manager had declared the start of a silent war between him and himself with those words. He frowned in thought as he adjusted his priorities but quickly replaced that look with his most precious smile. He made sure to show it directly to Grell and speak in his kindest voice. Retrieving the doll no longer had anything to do with the task being a favour for Grell; he was fulfilling the mad shinigami's wish to defend his honour. "Don't listen to William, Grell; it would be a simple task for me to retrieve your doll and not a trouble in the slightest. Actually, Grell -"

Sebastian paused, and opened his eyes, keeping the pretty smile on his face. For this to work, he would need Grell's decision to be solely one-sided. "I would be happy to retrieve your doll for you. I don't have a lot of free-time, but I would enjoy spending what little I have for you." After that, he looked away from Grell and smiled menacingly at William. Grell was already a disobedient reaper, so Sebastian doubted it would be difficult to convince Grell to defy William, if he could then it was a small hindrance. It wasn't as impressive as many other options he had the power to do, but he couldn't risk fighting with William when he was on a mission for Ciel. By now, he was probably wondering where he was and what he was doing.

And quickly as to get this over with, Sebastian began his mission to retrieve the Madame Missy doll. The first thing he did was walk into the toyshop, which stocked many Phantomhive products. The shop owner by now, recognised Sebastian as the one who usually escorted Ciel to meetings with shopkeepers not unlike himself. He asked about the doll, and the shopkeeper told him that it had been sold to a young girl named Mary. Sebastian explained without explaining that he needed the Madame Missy doll, that it was very important. He seemed confused, but told him their basic direction.

Sebastian left the shop and lightly and silently ran in the direction the shopkeeper had showed him, blending with the shadows that the sun had left behind. He imagined that they were in a carriage by now, and probably had a good head start. He smiled, enjoying the challenge. Many carriages passed, and Sebastian passed them, nearly invisible, looking for the doll. After numerous carriages he found one in particular with a young girl and a beautifully crafted, red doll lying beside her. Sebastian hooked onto the carriage and opened the door silently - he had the doll in his hand before they even noticed he was gone. By that time, he was already halfway back to William and Grell.

He didn't know what he expected to happen, but both Grell and William were still there, he at least he had that. His hair and clothes were windswept, so he stopped a few feet away from Grell and William to straighten himself, before he approached and handed Grell the doll. "I believe that this is yours." He didn't say anymore after that. There was only one downfall to this idea of his, it may worsen the condition of Grell's already swollen ego. He then bowed lightly, "Now, if you would excuse me, I must be on my way to buy medicine for my master. It is unfortunate," Sebastian said playfully, not taking his own words seriously, "that Grell couldn't come along."

* * *

"Really, Sebastian?" Grell smiled at his surprising response, he wondered if Sebastian was actually being serious when he said that. The shinigami was so happy, he threw himself at Sebastian, but instead of feeling the demon's body against his, he felt the cold, hard pavement against his face. Sebastian must have already retreated to retrieve his doll for him! How eager Sebastian must have been to help him, what a tease he was. Grell sat up and rubbed his cheek, which had a small scratch. He frowned at its presence, why must it be on his face of all places? William let out a long sigh, just what was that demon up to? All he was going to accomplish was making Grell more of a nuisance and even harder to bring home. He pushed up his glasses and knelt down in front of Grell, who appeared to be in thought. William pulled out a band-aid and began preparing it for Grell's scratch.

"Grell, be reasonable. He's not getting the doll; he's just toying with you. He didn't mean anything he said; it's in a demon's nature to be selfish and sadistic. He's just taking advantage of your - _feelings_ - for him." William was trying to put the band-aid on Grell's scratch but Grell rejected it by pulling his face away and pushing on William's chest with his hands.

"Stop it, Will! I don't want it! I put so much effort into making myself look nice before I went out!" William frowned and stood up from his crouch to hit Grell on the head with his death scythe, all sympathy lost with the end of that sentence. Grell was whining and holding his head, mumbling things he didn't care to try and make out, he already had an idea of what they were.

"Get up, Sutcliff, we're leaving_ now_." William said coldly, he was tired of this and wanted to leave – it was getting dark.

"I believe that this is yours." Grell jumped at this unexpected comment, but William remained unmoved. Grell smiled cheerily, seeming surprised as well as happy at the sight of the doll. He stood up and took Madame Missy from Sebastian, looking into the doll's red, glassy eyes with his own. But then Sebastian made an even more unexpected comment than before – the demon claimed it was unfortunate that he couldn't come along? Why would he say something like that? Grell was feeling confused now, Sebastian had been acting different from his usual behaviour, but it gave him a nice feeling to know that he (suddenly) appreciated his presence. The shinigami looked away from the doll and to Sebastian with a contemplative expression, mostly neutral but a slight brightness about it. William seemed to notice this and frowned, taking Grell's arm before he spoke.

"I don't believe you have any reasonable purpose to be toying with my dispatcher, demon. I suggest you finish your chore _without_ Grell and return to your master." William turned his attention to Grell afterward, "We're leaving, Sutcliff, you have your toy so there is no reason to linger unnecessarily." Grell pulled away from William – a rather pouty look on his face, before running behind Sebastian. He didn't want to leave, what if Sebastian went back to ignoring him after they departed? He had to make it last as long as possible.

"I can't, Will. Sebastian told me not to listen to you in return for Madame Missy - that was the deal." William looked surprised at Grell's ridiculous conclusion, before quickly changing to realisation and irritation – he could feel a headache coming on.

"No, it wasn't. You have the wrong idea, Grell!"

"I'm not listening!" William sighed, he knew that something like this was going to happen - now he had to resort to force. He lowered his voice, but it sounded more menacing than before.

"Sutcliff, if you don't come here _right now_ then I am going to have to make you."

"Would you really, Will? _Make _me then…" Grell smiled at the suspense of the situation as he waited for William to make his move. Or he was, until William appeared quickly behind him and grabbed his shoulder, tossing him to the ground with great force. He then stepped on the back of his head to pin him in place.

"Sebastian, I'll have to ask you to not make any contact with Grell for the following week. This is his punishment for his disobedience." Grell seemed to be muttering something helplessly from underneath William's foot. Using all of his force to try and resist, but he just wasn't strong enough to get up. Until, finally, William lifted his leg and Grell lifted his head up quickly and whined, "Sebastian...!"


	4. Chapter 4

Sebastian watched William and Grell argue over the red shinigami's misunderstanding. This, though, was a pleasant side-effect – he had only hoped to delay William and Grell from returning home from the market district, and instead this drama had happened, and it was all due to Grell's stupidity. When William pinned Grell to the pavement and spoke, Sebastian couldn't stop himself, he laughed instead. Did William believe that he, as a demon, would listen to anything he ordered him to do? "William, I pity you, because of your high position in the Ministry of Hades you have become arrogant, and address and order me as if I were one of your dispatchers. But honestly, you are no different from the stiff-necked, elderly aristocrats of this society." He spread out his arms, to indicate the world around them as "this society".

"You look down from your high place at humans and demons like me. What makes shinigami superior? No, let me rephrase that, what makes _you_ superior? I can tell by how you treat your dispatchers, such as Grell -" he indicated Grell, who still had his head against the pavement, "That you are _selfish_ and _sadistic,_ just like a _demon."_

Sebastian threw William's words back at him, to let him know that he heard that arrogant comment. "Less than a demon, actually," Sebastian let out a sigh, "at least we know our place. Demons were born demons, while shinigami such as yourself, were born human." For whatever reason, probably out of surprise influenced by Sebastian's insulting words, he removed his foot from the back of Grell's head. It was then that Sebastian heard Grell call out his name. Sebastian looked to Grell, whose face was swollen and bleeding - he didn't look as attractive as he had earlier this morning. Still, though, William had told him not to make contact with Grell and now he felt he had to. But, to keep Grell from returning to William, he was going to have to show him more kindness than William was now. He walked to him calmly and William remained standing behind Grell. He knelt down in front of him, and removed his white handkerchief from his sleeve. He dabbed at the blood on his face from being thrown against the cobblestone sidewalk, and still holding his handkerchief lifted the surprisingly light shinigami in his arms. He ignored Grell and handed William his now-bloodied handkerchief.

"I will be taking Grell to the doctor's with me, I imagine that after your abuse he will need a check-up anyway, so I'm saving you some trouble; I hope that you don't mind. I will return him eventually." He knew that William, despite his actions, liked Grell enough to keep him and needed him for the jobs that he couldn't order his other dispatchers to do. The jobs that Grell called "boring". Without Grell, he would have no one else to do those jobs for him and their workplace would fall apart, or at least until he decided to return him. Before William could protest, Sebastian was well on his way, using his demonic speed to escape before William attacked (which would have been the likely outcome).

* * *

Grell didn't know how to react to his situation; he wasn't being rejected, assaulted, taunted, threatened or ignored. Instead, he was being appreciated, and in even more detail, _held_. Grell couldn't even remember the last time someone had held him, even if he tried, he wasn't sure if he ever had been, perhaps in his other life- when he was _human_. Ever since Sebastian had lifted him, he felt this strange emotion that he didn't recognize.

But, this was so unlike Sebastian! Was it really possible that he might have developed even mild feelings for him? Grell tightened his grip onto Sebastian; he wasn't used to being held up above the ground without self-support. He was so confused! What was going on?

"Sebastian…wha-?"

Grell cut himself off, he wasn't really sure what he was going to say, besides, Sebastian probably didn't even hear him. It was sort of a mumbled fragment. Until he suddenly found his words-

"What are you doing…?"

In a small, confused voice, Grell asked this question.


	5. Chapter 5

Once Sebastian was far enough away from William, his running slowed to a steady walk. It was surprisingly difficult to run with a full-grown shinigami in his arms, instead of the child body of his young master. With every step that he took, Grell's body bounced very slightly, and his long hair swayed to brush against his legs. In the absence of the heavy padding of his running feet and the sound of the wind against his ears, he heard Grell's second question very clearly, clearer than a human would have been able to.

Sebastian paused at the sound of the voice, was that Grell? If it was, he didn't sound like himself, he sounded like another person entirely. The voice was small and unsure, so much unlike Grell's usual loud and confident voice that could carry for miles. He looked down to Grell, to see if those weak words were his, and he saw Grell's fragile body in his arms with his long, scarlet hair somewhat in his face due to the force of the wind. His pale skin shined brightly in the light of the moon and even brighter still were those golden-green eyes which reflected his face and were wide with surprise and an expression that he had never seen on Grell before. He wasn't sure what it was, but from others he saw this expression often enough to remember it.

It was in that moment that Sebastian considered this situation from Grell's point of view, he realised that Grell probably didn't understand what was happening now. After the words he had directed at him, William probably understood what Sebastian was after - that he wasn't toying with Grell, it didn't require even that much affection - he was using him to make things more difficult for William. Sebastian realised also that he was hardly any better than William was. As a demon, there was always a glimmer of doubt in his heart concerning himself and what he had to do to remain healthy and content, the dealing and stealing of souls, and how painful and lonely this life was. _"Unclean" "Sadistic" "Lonely"._

He considered that shinigami were required to kill and manage the deaths of every human. It must have been hard for shinigami, death was for their job and not their life, as it was for Sebastian. Shinigami could even relate to their victims, as they were once human – as they had once experienced the death that they gave to others - he was curious, if being a shinigami was anything like being a demon.

All of these words fall short of expressing the way that Sebastian felt then, it was not so complex, but came to him in one moment which he dissected into the complicated passages that they are now. "I'm taking you to the doctor's, for your face. It still looks swollen." His words sounded surprisingly calm for the thoughtful expression on his face. It was not a lie, of course, but it wasn't the full truth either. He continued walking once more and hoped that Grell hadn't noticed his pause or guessed what he might have been feeling then. As he moved forward, against the wind, he noticed that Grell was holding onto him tighter than he had been – and to acknowledge that, he tightened his arms around him, for the half-hearted purpose of ensuring that he didn't drop him. "You probably want to be let down now, do you?" He was unsure whether or not Grell was enjoying being held, it seemed both likely and unlikely. Sebastian had imagined that he would enjoy the attention of being held, but the way he acted now seemed to Sebastian as if he were expressing his discomfort. Also, there was that he had never had Grell so close to him before, and was unsure if it were wise.

* * *

Immediately after Grell had spoken, Sebastian's speed decreased significantly. He almost stopped moving, looking down at Grell with a curious look on his face. He stood there, silently, for a while- observing him, so closely he felt he was looking into his soul. He answered his question but he had not told him the reason behind his action.

Sebastian's guard was down, Grell could see right through him. He knew that wasn't the whole truth, his words were too calm for his appearance, it was obviously an act. This observation crushed Grell, his chest _ached_, the pounding of his heart was like a deep, slow drum beat in his head - releasing a painful wave throughout his upper body, stopping at his shoulders and released with the out-take of his slow breath, only to start over again. His face was warm and tingling, he couldn't even feel the pain from the swelling anymore, it was replaced with this _grotesque_ pain.

Sebastian's began walking again, his grip on Grell's body tightened, almost in an emotional way. Grell's heart jumped and the presence of the emotion he felt deepened and wracked his thin frame. It was in this moment that he wished it was _real_; this ache was a desperate cry for something he _longed_ for.

Sebastian asked Grell if he wanted to be let down now. This sentence came like a bullet and shot Grell right in the head, the silence after it was suffocating. Every time he heard Sebastian's voice, it felt different. He wondered what Sebastian was feeling right now, he was acting strangely, and saying strange things. He was so intriguing, so mysterious, and he rarely knew what he was feeling. Everything he did- was _perfect_.

Grell knew Sebastian wasn't holding him out of affection, he _hated_ it.

"Please hold me a while longer…"

He said this slowly, shakily, _miserably _- why? He probably sounded pathetic right now. Grell's body was being beaten by his emotion, growing stronger with every step Sebastian took. His footsteps ringing in his ears, Grell turned his face gently towards Sebastian's torso, he was showing weakness. He couldn't help it; he probably looked so _ugly_ right now, crying silently, on a swollen, stupid face.

Oh, how he _loved_ Sebastian.


	6. Chapter 6

Grell shifted in Sebastian's arms to hide his face; Sebastian also felt the velvet hat of the Madame Missy doll brush against his chest. If Grell was hoping to conceal his emotion, pressing his face against Sebastian's upper body wasn't a good strategy. With Grell in this position, Sebastian could feel his uneven, ragged breathing and his hot tears as they soaked through his blouse. If Sebastian wasn't so observant of the world around him and relied only on vision, as many humans did, than Grell may have been well to hide his face from view and Sebastian would have been none the wiser – Sebastian though, was not that ignorant, he had thought that Grell had known that.

Sebastian didn't feel bad, either, for influencing Grell's tears - how many times had he witnessed that human expression? He couldn't sympathise because he could no longer remember how it felt, to be so ultimately overcome with emotion that it became necessary to express it through such passionate means. Even if he couldn't feel his pain, Sebastian knew that it there, pressed against his body in a separate vessel – he could feel it pulsating in a steady rhythm through that pale, white skin as it was gradually released through his eyes. As it was mentioned earlier, Sebastian could not sympathise with Grell's tears, but he could sympathise with the reason for their presence – loneliness.

Perhaps Grell was more intelligent than he had thought, he had seen through his actions, to come to the conclusion that his fondness had been an act for whatever foul reason suited the demon's current objective. Grell hadn't noticed its absence before, but now that he knew it was there he wanted to experience it – love, friendship, any affection – whatever the absence of loneliness really was. "It must have been a long time since another cared for you." It was not a question, it was a statement. The crook of his arm supported Grell's head, which he cradled the way you would hold a child, Sebastian had enough of his arm free to lightly brush his hand against Grell's damp cheek. "I am certain that you haven't forgotten the first time that we met. You asked me then if it was possible for us, as demon and shinigami, to ever fully understand each other. I feel that I may understand the desire you express now."

Sebastian didn't say another word after that; he felt that everything that needed to be said had been said there. Even if there had been more to say, both of them were before the doctor's place now. Sebastian paused before entering, to carefully set Grell on his feet; he had to be even gentler to ensure that he didn't fall over in his high-heeled shoes. Sebastian looked Grell over, he looked a right mess – his intense scarlet hair which often fell so beautifully to his thighs was dishevelled and tangled, his day clothes - excluding the expensive woman's jacket he had taken from the corpse of Madame Red – were wrinkled and irregular, his face was scuffed and swollen, a small cut on his cheek (the same cut he refused to let William bandage) and dried blood in the corner of his mouth, and just recently and for the first time in a long time – his dazzlingly golden-green eyes were red-rimmed and wet and saltine tears streaked his bruised cheeks.

Even still, he was stunning – He looked as though he were having a bad day – but still spectacular. Sebastian knew though, that if he were to happen by a mirror, he would be very unhappy with what he saw. So, almost as an apology or perhaps to avoid the tantrum that would happen if fortune fell through to chaos, he used his gloved hand (since he had given his handkerchief to William) to dry Grell's face - he straightened his clothes, somewhat roughly, and smoothed them down – he also removed a small comb from his pocket and began to run it through his hair, once more, somewhat roughly.

* * *

You could tell a lot about a person's emotions just by listening to their heartbeat, a fast heartbeat could mean many things - the person could be nervous, exhausted, embarrassed, scared, or excited - among other things. A slow heartbeat could express comfort, happiness, and sometimes longing. The heartbeat is the music of one's soul; the rhythm only changes accordingly to that person's feelings. Grell just so happened to be in perfect position to listen to the rhythm of Sebastian's heart.

But as he listened, without trying, it was obvious that Sebastian's heartbeat was at an average, steady pace. Sebastian spoke without emotion; there was no beat to his words. He said them blankly, as an observation, that it must have been a long time since someone cared for him. Even though Sebastian was comforting him by holding him and wiping at his tears, even by just speaking to him; he didn't express any emotion at all. Sebastian didn't look at Grell, and continued to walk as he spoke.

Sebastian reminded Grell of the night that they had met, bringing up a question he had asked then, and even explaining that he could relate to 'the desire he felt now'. Grell hadn't forgotten anything about what had happened that night. He remembered what he had said to him, it was interesting that Sebastian had brought that up. The desire he expressed now? Grell wondered if that's what it was, _desire_. He still felt it now, the pain that was like a starving kitten, waiting desperately to be fed, but only getting hungrier as the time past. Grell tried listening to his own heartbeat, pressing hard with his upper wrist against the back of his temple, covering his ear with his bottom of his hand. It was like listening to a seashell, he could hear the slow, aching waves of his own heart. It was more like a feeling, actually, that thudded against his palm. It was very distant, and could only be noticed if he paid very close attention.

Sebastian had said that he could relate to his desire, as he had called it. That would have to mean that Sebastian was telling him, without actually _telling_ him, that he felt this pain as well.

But before Grell could say or do anything, Sebastian had carefully set him down. Were they there already? It felt like forever at the time, but now it seemed so short, Grell already missed being held. He sniffed and blinked a few times, it was hard to see with his glasses wet! He was about to take them off to clean them when suddenly Sebastian began primping him, did he really look that bad? Grell was kind of worried now, he wanted a mirror. He let out a loud whine when Sebastian ran his comb through his hair- he wasn't being very gentle. Once Sebastian had considered himself done, Grell pulled out his own comb that he kept in his vest and began combing his hair himself, he was parting it in certain ways and using special techniques to get it looking the way it usually did. It had a much better effect than what Sebastian had attempted, but Grell appreciated his effort anyway.

Afterwards, he turned his head to look at Sebastian, expecting him to do something. Grell had never been to the doctors before, at least not that he could remember. Shinigami had their own special infirmary back at home.


	7. Chapter 7

Sebastian had already moved to stand before the great, wooden doors by the time that Grell chose to look at him. He ran his gloved, white hands along their hard surface and pressed his pale forehead against the cool glass. He could smell blood beyond these doors, the blood of a human and although he tried, he couldn't see through the colourful patterns of the stained glass windows. He turned to look at Grell, his expression was calm and his voice was serious as he asked, "Can you smell the scent that lingers beyond these doors? It is the blood of a human. I smell something else, also, but I am not entirely certain of what it is." It was true that he didn't know what the underlying scent was, it was hidden by the significantly stronger smell of the blood – but he did have a guess – unless he was mistaken, which he rarely was, it was another demon.

Sebastian closed his eyes and focused solely on the weaker scent, but his efforts only brought him shady memories, without the answer to the question he wished to conclude. It was better for Grell to be prepared if he were wrong, rather than be unprepared if he were right. To let Grell know that he was being serious, he turned to face the shinigami and said directly to him, "I believe that it is a demon. Even you, as a shinigami – between a god and a human – will be endangered. If you remember, your first battle with a demon nearly resulted in your demise." It was then that it occurred to Sebastian that it may be an even better idea to return Grell home than risk him being injured.

It wasn't that he necessarily cared whether or not he was, but it may begin an even greater conflict than that of this morning between William and himself, if Grell were harmed or killed. If William was against him, then all shinigami would be – they would lose the undertaker as an alley – and even worse, they may threaten or bring harm upon his young master. "Actually, Grell" Sebastian spoke carefully, "I think that I should take you back. It would be inconvenient for both of us if you were injured." Sebastian walked away from the doors and stood in front of Grell instead. He looked deep into his eyes, hoping that he would choose to leave, "Did you like being held? I would carry you back."

* * *

Sebastian explained to Grell that a demon may be behind the doors to the doctor's and that he would be endangered. He didn't like remembering how defenceless he had been without his scythe, and how he had to be pathetically rescued by William - It was an embarrassing memory. Sebastian was obviously making reference to this. But even so, it depended on the demon. Could this one truly to tactical enough to discover a way to kill him?

It seemed that an idea came to Sebastian then, he approached and told Grell he should probably return him to the ministry. The demon approached Grell as he spoke, staring into him - with his alluring eyes. He offered to carry him back.

This bothered Grell, it made him shiver, a disgusting tingle washed over him. Sebastian's views on him must have been _rancid_, a weak, attention-starved child, who would do anything for acknowledgement - even if it wasn't real. How Grell had begged to be held earlier, even though it wasn't out of affection, was fitting to that description. He had shamed himself, letting his emotions take over him - _ridiculous_. He felt himself pulse, in a sick way, as though he might vomit.

Grell looked away from Sebastian, his emotions reflecting on his features, which had been bolded by the moonlight, his eyes gleaming a bright gold - twitching.

"Tch…"

Grell walked past Sebastian, and without any care of what was behind them, burst the doors open. He walked inside, stepping in a puddle of a splattered nurse on the floor. He looked down at her disfigured body - a beautiful shade of red.

Grell's sharp, white teeth glistened as he smiled - how he admired a pretty corpse.


	8. Chapter 8

Sebastian's gaze followed Grell as he walked past him and opened the door by force. He had seen the look clearly on the shinigami's face when he offered to carry him back – it was a look of disgust. It was obvious that he had offended him, for him to make such a face. Sebastian would have to be more careful with his words for future reference, if something like this were ever to happen again. It was in Sebastian's nature, as a demon, to offer what a person desired in exchange for what he desired – he had wanted to return Grell to ensure his safety, so that he could deal with the threat without having to worry about having someone to protect, but now he had inspired Grell to stay rather than leave. It was strange, how unpredictable Grell was. He had thought that Grell, in his current mind-frame, would have given in to such an offer – apparently he had been wrong – now, because of that, his situation had _become_ wrong. He would have to apologise to his master when he returned, if things became inconvenient.

He followed Grell into the doctor's lounge and saw clearly the source of the smell. It was an assistant, torn to shreds, blood and locks of hair had seeped through the carpet and were scattered across the floor – her entrails lay in tangled, stinking heaps nearby her carcass of bone, flesh and skin – her glassy eyes were reflective, and yet dull. Her soul had left her body, Sebastian knew. He also knew that if this murder was caused by a demon, then her soul had not only left her body, it had been devoured. It was apparent that this is what had happened – the scent of a demon remained on what was left of her body. It was unusual, Sebastian decided, for something like this to happen – there were few demons in this world and it may well have been a silent agreement between all of them, that only one demon would remain in a country, never two. It was also unusual because demons generally didn't like one another, they were all acquainted but no two demons were or ever would be friends – why would another demon be here? Until his contract was fulfilled, Sebastian was the demon of England and this was his territory. Surely the intruder knew that, and had come here to send him a message, but what message was this?

"I am certain now that this was done by another demon. I can smell his scent all over her carcass. It is important that you know, Grell, how unusual this is. It is very rare for two demons to be in one country, it would be too suspicious, so it is avoided. Until my contract is finished, England is _mine_." Sebastian made his last sentence very obvious; he put particular stress on the last word. "Another demon is trying to communicate with me, and this message could mean very many things. I am not sure what point he is trying to put across, but I will not tolerate this. I own more than this country, I own the soul of every human here, if the circumstances are right. Her soul was mine, also. But now is not the time, I must return with the young master's medicine, I have already been delayed once, I must not be again." At this point, though, battle appeared inevitable. Sebastian once again looked Grell over, he didn't have any kind of weapon, he was defenceless. Before Sebastian could find a solution to this dilemma, a figure stepped out from the shadows.

He was unattractive, and it was his most noticeable trait. It was hard to describe just what made him this way other than that he was – he was in a human form, currently, as he was in the human world. He had tanned, leathery skin and flaxen, thick hair that had an oily appearance – more noticeable though was the great scar across his face. Not unlike other demons, he had pale, shimmering eyes and a twisted smile. He was of a bigger build and was bigger than Sebastian and much bigger than Grell. He looked between both of them, analyzing the situation. Once he believed he understood what was happening, he and Sebastian looked into each other's eyes and held their gaze. Sebastian didn't speak because he had nothing to say – even in his human form he recognised this demon, and he was certain that this demon recognised him – demons had other ways of identifying themselves, they didn't use titles as humans did. Sebastian didn't want to know the reason; he wanted to know the facts, so he spoke bluntly.

"Did you kill the doctor?" The unsightly demon broadened his smile, showing his white teeth and fangs, "The lives of humans are insignificant, so if I did or did not is unimportant. I did though, to answer your question, _Sebastian_. It is pathetic, how you have given yourself a human name – and even more disappointing that you have not only adopted their customs but now keep their company." He indicated Grell by pointing a thick finger in his direction. Sebastian silently and quickly stepped to the side in hopes that he would be able to hide Grell from view. He hadn't anticipated the demon acknowledging Grell; now Sebastian was concerned, if he continued to single out the shinigami (who, Sebastian concluded, had been mistaken for a human) then things could become very unpleasant. He only had to hope that Grell would not take offense from being incorrectly identified and keep _silent_. If he didn't speak, much conflict could be avoided. Unfortunately, he had no way to communicate this to the shinigami and had to believe that Grell would have the common sense to keep _quiet_.

* * *

Grell continued to stare at the remains of the nurse, observing how artistically she had been murdered. Once Sebastian had entered the room though, his concentration turned to him, his presence was far more beautiful. He admired how inhuman Sebastian was, how Grell longed to dismiss these emotions that made him so weak. Touching his face, he realised that his swelling had gone down a lot. This was understandable due to the amount of time it had to heal.

Shortly after Sebastian had entered, he began to speak about how there was another demon present, as well as making arrogant comments about things he considered _his_. This was all just in Sebastian's head, no one truly owned anything, everything just existed. It was amusing to hear how convinced he was with the idea, though.

But then Grell sensed a presence enter, the same kind of feeling you would get as if someone were watching you. He looked away from Sebastian and turned his attention to the life that had just entered the room. Noticing him made Grell shiver, he wasn't very easy on the eyes, but he did have that _creepy_ quality that he appreciated, but that wasn't enough to make up for everything else. There was silence for a short time, as Sebastian and the other demon gazed at each other. There was silence until Sebastian asked the other if he had killed the doctor and from the sidelines Grell watched and listened carefully.

Grell didn't like it when people pointed at him, especially when they were trying to accuse him of something, and this demon was accusing him of being _human_. Grell had long since forgotten what it was like to be human; when he became a shinigami, he was reborn; most of his memories from that life were blurred. Even though he was still human in ways, Grell was in a much higher class, he had divine powers of a _god_ within him. A god was a much higher class than a demon, defiled with the much lower class of a human. Grell deserved the respect of being in his own class- a _shinigami_.

Grell clutched onto his doll, why should he be looked down upon by these arrogant demons? He stepped out from behind Sebastian, tossing some hair behind his shoulder.

"Fool, you demons are too ignorant to realise that the humans you call so insignificant are actually quite the opposite, for without them, you would _perish_. Do you forget that it is their souls that supply your life force?"

Grell laughed, and began to channel the awesome energy he possessed within his body. Doing this healed him completely, as well as gave him a divine aura which made his presence outstandingly obvious, observing him now you could sense the hidden will within him. His eyes glistened a brilliant gold, and his whole existence seemed flawless.

"I am in a far higher class than a human… I am a shinigami!"


	9. Chapter 9

Grell stepped past Sebastian and spoke, just as Sebastian had feared he would. Grell had drawn attention to himself now, which was the last thing Sebastian had wanted. He shut his eyes and covered them with a gloved hand, listening carefully to what the shinigami had to say, since it was too late to stop him. It was offensive; Sebastian exhaled angrily and lowered his hand. His eyes were no longer disguised; they were their natural, astonishing pink. His face was calm but his words were low and angry and he spoke without looking Grell's way. "Do you believe that I am ignorant, Sutcliff? Do you believe that I underestimate the value of human life? I lost my faith in humanity hundreds, perhaps thousands of years before you were _born_. How long have you been a shinigami - it couldn't have been very long - I would imagine that it has been less than two hundred years. It will take longer than that, much longer than that, for you to entirely lose hope – or perhaps you never will – as you are half human."

"I thought, that as a shinigami, you may understand what it is like to see their true nature – but apparently I was wrong – I am aware now that you see only their actions and not their desires. I see everything, though, as the one who grants their wishes. I serve children who want to be adults, pretty women who want to be beautiful, and wealthy men who want to be rich – or as is my most recent contract - orphans who want _revenge_. The children should be patient, they would become adults one day, but they would rather trade their purity for beauty and power – the only things of meaning in the human world - only demons still value purity. The women should be grateful, that they are not ugly or disfigured, but they are so preoccupied with physical beauty that they can't see the ugliness of their own soul – they cannot be happy without having more of what they already have - and the men are the same, they have all of the money they need to be comfortable, but feel they must live in _luxury_."

"It was not so long ago, not for a demon, that I fancied a human would offer their soul for something worthwhile – like happiness throughout their life or good fortune – I imagined that those were the properties humans would enjoy more than anything – if they were happy, then even the worst of lifestyles could be changed with their optimism – or even better yet is good fortune, that could bring you happiness, beauty and wealth. Never though, not once, have I made such a contract. It is because humans feel that their souls are not worth such trivial things." On a note of finality, Sebastian bluntly stated, "I am not ignorant, I understand humans better than you may think." For a short time there was silence, but then there was the sound of an individual clapping their hands slowly and dramatically, as though impressed. "It has been such a long time; I had almost forgotten your strong opinions on humans, although they have changed drastically since our last encounter. It is still _my_ opinion, though, that you put too much thought and concern into their actions – if they are willing to trade you their soul – what does it matter what their reasons are?"

The demon was addressing Sebastian but was looking at Grell; his attention was focused on the brilliant shinigami. "I already knew that you were not human, you did not have to say, but humans and shinigami may as well be the same thing. They were born human; they died human, and were reborn as gods? That is a ridiculous theory; all you are is a human with benefits."

"Leave him out of this." Sebastian spoke loudly and unexpectedly, taking a step closer to his enemy. While the demon had been explaining his inappropriate word choice to Grell, Sebastian had been preparing for battle – he had removed his black coat and had handed it to Grell for safe-keeping – and had removed his gloves which he tossed aside carelessly. "You disgust me, to kill humans without making a contract - no matter how revolting the individual may be – is immature and brings shame on our race. You have come into my territory and defiled it. I don't care what your reasons are; I will kill you here and now."

"How unlike you, to be protecting a person like _that_, is it possible that you have fallen for a human?"

"I have my reasons." was Sebastian's only response. As his opponent was preparing himself for battle, Sebastian turned to face Grell, his expression was even more serious than it usually was and could even be described as anxious. "I will ask you once more to return home immediately -" but before Sebastian could finish his sentence a terrible noise came from behind them, an inhuman shriek. Sebastian's eyes – which remained in their demonic appearance – opened wide in realisation but it came too late. The other demon had reverted to his original form, and had shoved his clawed hand and arm through Sebastian's chest. These was a grotesque snapping as his ribs broke open and his hand appeared on the other side, not too far away from Grell's face. Blood flew in all directions, and sprayed on the shinigami's face, body, hair, and even his doll and Sebastian's coat.

This wasn't enough to kill a demon, but it _was_ enough to give their opponent a considerable advantage. Sebastian shut his eyes in pain and let out a low moan, tears shone in the corners of his eyes due to the sudden, excruciating pain. He opened his mouth wide and coughed up a significant amount of blood. Already though, Sebastian was regressing to his true self – his features were changing, as was his structure, hair and skin. He turned around to face his opponent – in his black, feathered body – resembling a dark, wingless angel, and let out a threatening roar.

* * *

Sebastian seemed to have taken more offense to Grell's comment than the other demon had, disappointing, because his goal wasn't Sebastian, but the demon who had influenced him to speak in the first place. Though, he almost liked these results better, seeing Sebastian express such deep emotion for him was satisfying, he loved making him _angry_. Grell got shivers just witnessing how cold and emotional Sebastian's words were, but they didn't defend him very well. He made it very clear that he understood humans, but that was not what Grell had pointed out. Even Sebastian couldn't say that he cared for the lives of humans, even if he understood them. He even said himself that their lives were 'unimportant'. This was amusing, because as a demon, Sebastian needed them to survive - as he had pointed out earlier. Even after his long lecture, Grell was still right - _ignorant_.

But despite his emotions, Sebastian was still defending Grell. When the demon asked why, Sebastian said that he had his reasons, and said nothing more as he prepared for battle.

Hearing this had reminded Grell of the emotion that he was trying to hide. As if Sebastian would fall for him. He knew he had a greater purpose behind his actions. It's not like he should care, the _desire_ he felt as Sebastian had called it, was a useless emotion. Grell tightened his grip around Sebastian's jacket, which he had handed to him.

Sebastian turned to face Grell, he looked very serious, as he told him to leave now almost as a warning.

But Sebastian's words were cut short by a demonic shriek, which was released from the other demon's true form. Quick to attack, it forced its arm through Sebastian's ribs. Grell could see the demon's hand go all the way through, blood spurting all over him.

The blood, _Sebastian's_ blood, was warm and fresh and now all over Grell. He could smell its bitter scent, feel it running down his body, dripping out of his hair. Grell could see Sebastian through his blood-specked glasses; the expression on his face was priceless, bleeding and staring at his blood soaked hands after he had touched his wound.

Grell felt this _intense_ sadistic pleasure arouse in him as he stared at Sebastian, this sick, amorous feeling oozed and inched over him. He was tempted to violently shove his hand in Sebastian's chest and tear his heart out; Grell wanted to touch its still beating, slippery surface and smear it across his cheek. Sebastian's blood was _beautiful_, especially when it was splattered all over himself. He wished that he could see Sebastian coated in _his_ blood, it would make this moment far more extraordinary. Grell felt a wave of lust wash over him as Sebastian moaned and coughed up blood onto the floor. Watching him was turning him _on_.

But Grell couldn't just stand here; they were in danger right now. Sebastian began to transform as Grell charged at the demon and bit into his shoulder with his extremely sharp teeth, using all of the will he had channelled to course through the demon and finish him, it was a lot like being electrocuted, only _a lot _more powerful, the divine powers of a god- if put to full use - was more than enough to kill a demon. But it depended on how well Grell managed to perform the technique.

Both of them fell over, Grell fell beside him. Grell wasn't sure if that killed the demon, if it hadn't, then he was probably _very_ close to death.

The shinigami tried standing up, but it was hard to keep balance. He used up too much of his will and now he was fatigued. Grell stumbled and fell onto his side, he had fainted. There was a dim glow around him that seemed to be as though he were recharging his will in his unconscious state.


	10. Chapter 10

Sebastian could barely stand; he stood unevenly on his feet, and felt as if he might collapse. He gingerly touched the gaping wound in his chest, and through his blurred vision he saw his hand come away red and dripping. He could hardly see, much less think – he could only register this agonizing pain – it had been a long time since he had felt anything like it, the only thing that he could even vaguely compare this extraordinary pain to, (that he could remember) was the time Grell had cut at his chest with his death-scythe. That was nearly a year ago, now Grell stood before him, he didn't know and didn't care for his views on what was happening now. Without the strength to maintain his human form, Sebastian began to revert to his true, demonic self. It required unwavering concentration to preserve the pretty face and body of a mortal, and now that concentration was broken. It was mentioned in a previous post that Sebastian roared threateningly at his opponent, but it was unnecessary for Grell had already attacked.

In his current state, Sebastian's image of the world was distorted, and all that he could make out was that both Grell and their common enemy fell to the ground – he also saw in his final moments of consciousness, Grell attempt to stand, but then fall. Before he could even try and comprehend why, Sebastian too, collapsed. Sebastian had been hurting too badly to know for certain if the demon had died, and Grell had fainted after his attack, so both unknowing and unconscious the enemy slowly lifted himself from the floor to a sitting position. He had most certainly _not_ been expecting that – he had never encountered a human who had made such a powerful impact on him before – well, there was always a first time for everything. The demon made to stand up, but as he did, he noticed that a beautiful head full of exotic, red hair was resting on his lap. He reached out a clawed hand and twisted those long locks around his fingers and pulled Grell's pretty, pale face to his own angular one. It was apparent, if you were to ask the demon, that Sebastian had some kind of affair with this human – it was probably his dog – and that connection disgusted him. Even if he kept it, only as his pet, demons should never make any contact with a human outside of a contract. That was the way it had always been.

So he stood to his feet, with Grell now over his shoulder like some kind of luggage, and looked the room over for Sebastian. He saw him face-down in a pool of his own blood, he was still breathing, but he was going to need a reasonable length of time to recover from that attack. He left the doctor's lounge and walked out into the cold, night air. He felt his new prisoner stir and moan in his unconscious state, and wrap his frail arms around his body tighter. In the conflict, Grell had left his coat, his glasses, and his doll behind. The demon was disgusted; he felt a bout of nausea as he realised that this pathetic creature was making physical contact with him. Perhaps though, negotiations with his rival would be possible if he had his lover captive. As the demon prepared to leave, he was curious as to why if that _disgrace_ felt he needed a human, why he couldn't have chosen a more attractive one. To be honest, this one was _very_ ugly.

...

It had been an hour, almost two, when Sebastian finally regained consciousness. Although the injury he had sustained previously had hardly healed over, he was quick to stand to his feet. If he had been unconscious, then anything could have happened and he wouldn't have been able to interfere. With a swift examination of the room, he found items of importance – his own coat, Grell's coat (glasses and doll), and the young master's medicine – his coat was important because it had been an expensive gift from the master and it was cold outside, Grell's coat was important because Grell would never go anywhere without it, especially in winter, and that could only mean that he had been kidnapped by the demon – who, Sebastian figured – since his corpse wasn't here, had still been alive. And of course, the master's medicine was the most important of all of these objects, because the master had requested it, and he was late in returning it. It was already 9:00 PM.

...

The demon was well-hidden in an abandoned warehouse many, many miles from London town. He had been in England for months now, undetected, killing and devouring the souls of those who lived in the countryside as the gluttonous beast he was. It had taken him a duration of two hours for him to travel to this well hidden place. The shinigami he had kidnapped had been fidgeting and moaning all of the way here, and he was just about sick of it. He opened the rusted doors to the dark, infested warehouse and tossed Grell carelessly aside in a pile of filthy hay. To ensure that he didn't escape once he was awake, he locked Grell's delicate wrists in tight, rusted shackles that were connected to a metal wall. It was 9:00 PM and still very cold, even colder than it was in London town, a snowstorm was active outside and the icy wind blew in from the cracks in the walls and brushed over Grell's body, which was covered only by thin clothing and coated in dry, caked blood. After the demon had secured Grell's restraints, he relaxed in a wooden chair before a fire he had started. He had killed the owners of a beautiful manor not too far from this warehouse, and had told anyone who asked that he was their son, and had inherited it from the elderly couple after their deaths. But, so that they would be harder to find, he had decided that they would stay here. They would have been too easy to find if they had been in that luxurious house.

* * *

Grell would have stayed unconscious longer, but a strong sense of discomfort was disrupting him. There was a filthy odour that never seemed to dissipate, and a rough substance that continued to irritate his skin as the bitter wind bit at him. He also felt as though his wrists were weighed down by something, and Sebastian's blood, which had dried on his skin and in his hair, made him feel extremely dirty and uncomfortable.

Grell breathed deeply, feeling the chilly air drift into his lungs. He slowly lifted his heavy eyelids about halfway, revealing his unique golden-green eye colour. His vision was blurred, but he could still make out his surroundings without his glasses. He was in an unfamiliar, unpleasant looking place; the first thing he noticed though, was that his wrists were in shackles, which only meant one thing that seemed quite likely after he had fainted - the demon was still alive, and had some wicked plan that involved him. The rough substance he had sensed earlier could be none other than the scratchy, dirty, hay that surrounded him now. Grell was thirsty, and famished. Actually, he hadn't eaten anything since this morning; he had skipped his lunch break just to make sure he had enough money to buy his Madame Missy doll that was now left behind in the doctor's lounge. His coat was left there too, which wasn't helping with how unpleasantly cold he was right now.

Being reminded of how he was freezing to death, he saw a blur of yellow and red which resembled fire – fire was warm. Grell scooted toward the source of heat that he so longed for, the shackles were slowing him down, making it hard to lift his wrists very high with them being attached to such heavy chains. But once he got closer, he acknowledged the wooden chair that was set in front of the fire place. The demon, of course, was sitting in it - why else would there be a fire in here anyway? Grell looked down at his hands, which were a pure white blur - he was much paler than usual because he was so cold. There was also a soft glow that bordered his body - this must have meant he was still gathering will-power. This wasn't good, because he was significantly weakened by this.

He decided not to move back, not that he intended to _ever_ return to that disturbing hay pile, it would cause too much of a disruption. He had already made too much noise to begin with by moving over here, and he would rather not be noticed so that the demon could continue to think he was unconscious. Who knows what he would do if he figured out that he was awake? Suddenly, another gust of wind burst into the shed and wrapped its icy fingers around his thin frame - causing him to shiver awkwardly.

Grell whimpered out of pure misery, with his defences low, this situation was affecting him more than usual. He looked over in the direction of his abductor, hoping that he hadn't heard him - he wasn't all too far away since Grell had scooted closer. If the circumstances were a bit different (for example- if he was trapped in a tall tower surrounded by lava and a guardian dragon) he could pretend to play princess. But still, he wondered who his knight in shining armour would be? Grell knew that he was precious enough to be saved, hopefully by Sebastian, and not William of course.


	11. Chapter 11

Unfortunately for Grell, the demon had of course heard him – demons have hyperactive senses, after all – and he turned his head to see the wretched shinigami not too far away. He had his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around his upper body to remain warm and looked terrible – the skin on his face was deathly white and surrounded by a tangled mass of hair, and he was flecked with dead, brown blood all over – he also appeared very tired and weak. The demon stood slowly from his chair and took a few steps in the shinigami's direction, who was small in comparison, even when the demon was in his human form which was his current appearance. He knelt down in front of Grell, and roughly tilted his chin up so that he could get a better look at his face. "So, you're awake now. I was curious as to whether or not you were dead, you had been unconscious for such a long time. Now, tell me, what should I do with you?" The demon let go of Grell's face and stood to a standing position once more, his eyes were sparkling with excitement at the ways he could abuse Grell now that he was _his._

"You may be a lowly human, but you _are_ more powerful than just any commoner, and are immortal. That would mean that if I were to torture you, you wouldn't die. It would _hurt_ though, wouldn't it?" He lifted a rake from the dirt floor, as if he were considering its ability to harm, before dropping it. Just then, something unexpected happened, Grell's stomach made a loud rumbling sound – this seemed to inspire another, terrible thought – "I am curious, as to how many days it would take him to find you? It may take longer than you anticipate, we are _very _far from London town and he hasn't the _faintest_ idea where I have you now. You actually look a little overweight, you could do with dropping a few pounds." This of course, was the demon's sarcastic way of telling Grell that he was too thin. "Another advantage would be that I wouldn't have to supply food for a human's _constant_ eating requirements, and I wouldn't have to wear myself out cutting at that colourless skin of yours."

...

As Sebastian had imagined he would be, the master was very angry when he returned two, nearly three hours later than he had anticipated. Before he had even been given a chance to explain, Ciel had struck him, as he often did when he was angry. In his childish voice he demanded to know why he had come back so late. Sebastian explained that he had come across William and Grell from the Ministry of Hades and had somehow became involved in a silent battle between William and himself using Grell as a weapon. He apologised for his behaviour, before continuing to explain that he took Grell with him to the doctor's (he purposely left out how he had held him and spoken seriously with him) and when they entered the doctor's office there was a demon there that had fought unfairly and injured him grievously, and while he was unconscious had kidnapped Grell. Sebastian told Ciel this story while he was bathing him, pampering him and clothing him for the night.

After he had given his master his medicine, and was preparing the bed for his use, he asked him, "My lord, it is important that I retrieve Grell once you have retired for the night." Ciel scoffed, and without giving Sebastian a chance to explain stated , "I don't care what happens to him, leave him wherever the demon has taken him. If someone cares enough to rescue him, then he will be rescued, but not by your hand. It would put you in unnecessary danger, if it is true that this demon is cowardly enough to attack you with your back turned." After he had finished speaking, Sebastian tried again to explain that it was very important for him to return Grell to the Ministry of Hades; otherwise it may have a negative effect on them. There were important and powerful shinigami there, and they wouldn't be grateful to know that they had endangered one of their reapers and made no attempt to save him. It was only when Sebastian told him that he had already arranged for Ciel's aunt, and Elizabeth's mother, to come watch over him until he returned that he gave in. "Fine, leave immediately - it is an order, Sebastian - save that useless reaper since he can't save himself!" Sebastian smiled and answered with his signature bow, "Yes, my lord."

* * *

Grell hadn't taken his situation very seriously and was quite careless in being noticed - as resulted in an entirely new situation from before. His abductor stood before him now, threatening to abuse him from what Grell could tell through his poor vision - with a gardening tool. The shinigami's luck had always been a short supply, and didn't complement him often, as showed quite roughly through his situation now. This encounter with the demon reminded Grell a lot of the embarrassing time when Sebastian had acquired his death scythe in their first battle together, though, his luck had shown through quite miraculously during that scene when William had been able to save him before his death. But in that moment, he had probably used up all of the luck he had gathered in his whole lifetime. So now, when he needed it again, he wasn't so sure if he was going to be as lucky.

Grell, being naturally a reckless, disobedient soul, spat in the direction of the demon when he mentioned his weight, it was quite a tempting as well daring move to make, but Grell had always been sensitive about his appearance, and the demon's comment was obviously an insult to his slender, slightly underweight body.

Sebastian was supernatural, he had his strange ways of getting things done, and if his goal truly was to rescue him, he couldn't imagine it taking very long. This demon was probably just underestimating Sebastian's abilities, of course, Grell had always been one to look on the bright side of things and not take them seriously until something bad actually happened. Turning his charm on, he flashed a pretty smile, despite himself, speaking in a playful tone that you could perhaps call _cute._

"What is your purpose in capturing me, bad man? Surely you don't _like_ getting into trouble, because you're in for a lot once my hunk of a knight gets here! I'm his darling princess, not just some cheap woman he found on the street. But _you're_ going to be paying more than you'll get!"

He finished with a wink while sticking his pink tongue out at the demon, taunting him probably wasn't the best idea, but Grell often got himself in trouble for reasons such as these, but he still kept it up anyway. He was a tough sucker for learning his lesson.


	12. Chapter 12

The demon only laughed when Grell spat in his direction, but when the shinigami smiled and spoke, it was something else entirely. In all honesty, Grell's playful teasing in this situation was making him angry, just what did he mean by voicing such nonsense? He walked calmly in Grell's direction, but his actions were very violent – he brutally took him by his shoulders and lifted him to his feet; from there he hit him once, twice on his other cheek, and kneed him in the stomach. As Grell stumbled defencelessly, he once more took his shoulders and forced him to his knees, and there the demon felt that he was in his place, at his feet. He kicked him in the face and spat on him to mimic Grell's previous actions.

He laughed sadistically, as all demons were by nature, and knelt beside Grell who was lying still on his side. He spoke softly in his ear, "May I remind you that we aren't at your castle, princess, and that your knight isn't here. You've been captured by the enemy, if you haven't noticed, and are confined to whatever fate I decide for you. I am not able to kill you through physical torture, so I can't appeal to your fear of death, but how about this -" the demon reached beside him for a rusted, jagged piece of scrap metal and pressed it to Grell's temple, hard enough to put a fair amount of pressure against the skin.

"As a _princess_, surely you wouldn't want to have a scar across your face? I imagine that only _cheap women_ would be so careless about their appearance. This particular weapon isn't clean, either, so if I were to cut you with this you may become infected. You are already the most unsightly, most masculine princess I've ever seen; I actually mistook you for a man -" the demon knew that Grell wasn't a woman, but was one of those strange characters who _wanted_ to be a woman. He thought that referring to him as "masculine" may be effective.

"Your body is frail, your skin is translucent, your hair is _red,_ your eyes are _yellow_, and your teeth are ridiculous; the last thing you need is a scar." He pressed the scrap metal even harder against Grell's skin, hard enough to feel his pulse against the tool. The demon was enjoying the situation he had created, his eyes were gleaming and his smile was wide. "So princess, which fate would you like - to be scarred, or not? When your knight comes for you, you'll already be starving and dirty (I'm not feeding you, and you have no way to bathe), do you want to show him a mutilated face also, in your final moments together before both of your gruesome deaths?" and the demon waited, he had only recently hit the shinigami with a demon's strength in the abdomen, he may still have been out of breath.

...

After Sebastian had showered and changed his clothes, he had left to rescue Grell. Although, he was unsure of how to find him, so he returned to the doctor's in hopes of discovering anything that would lead him in the right direction, but saw that the assistant and the doctor's deaths had already been discovered. The human police were standing guard outside the building to ensure that no one entered, and the investigators were already inside. Sebastian knew that the humans would be unable to catch the killer; a higher power was the only one who could, so it was useless for them to be there, they were only acting as a hindrance.

Sebastian knew he would not be able to evacuate them, though, so he left. He left London, to be more specific. He knew that the demon would not have remained in the city, where Sebastian and (if he took too long, hopefully it wouldn't happen) the Ministry of Hades could find him. Grell had a particular scent, that he was able to smell from far away, not only his perfume – but his blood – and so he knew he wasn't here, he couldn't smell Grell's or his own, in which he was covered, unless he had been cleansed which was also unlikely.

* * *

Grell realised that he had gone too far once he saw the malicious look in the demon's eyes, as he approached, sudden fear began to swell within him. He slowly attempted to scoot back, until the demon forced him to his feet, slapped him once on each cheek, and kneed him in the stomach. Grell immediately reacted by gasping for air, stumbling backwards, but it wasn't over yet - he felt himself be dragged back down to his knees, followed by a kick at his face. Shouting out in pain, he fell to his side- defeated.

Grell felt a portion of slobber land on his neck, slowly leaking down until it dribbled onto the floor. He felt a shiver down his spine in disgust, or perhaps out of pain, or cold. He was aching all over, he felt sick, his stomach churned unpleasantly. The demon knelt down beside him, and began speaking to him about his disadvantages- pressuring a piece of dirty scrap metal against his temple. He continued on to threaten his precious face with the rubbish.

Grell, even though he usually hid it, actually had quite low self-esteem. No one ever called him pretty, even when he tried his very hardest to look nice. He had always dreamed of being a vibrant, attractive, healthy young woman. But instead he had this sickly sort of feminism, his unusual combination of vivid colours stood out awkwardly against his pale flesh which supported his small, delicate frame. Even if someone were to ever admire his strange appearance, his teeth had always been a turn-off, as creepy and unnatural as they were.

The demon pressured the metal scrap harder against him, Grell whimpered, not out of pain, purely out of fear of becoming any more unattractive than he had to be.

Grell didn't listen to his next words, he felt that sick feeling come over him again, his insides jumped, the demons assault on him earlier had upset his stomach, he felt as though he might vomit. But he managed to hold it back, remaining silent - Grell thought it too risky to say anything, not while his face was at stake.

The demon's cruel actions and words were creating an impact on Grell; he shut his eyes, begging silently for his face to at least be spared. Gloom had overcome him, tears began to form in his eyes, he didn't know how much longer he would be able to resist from puking - he was _certain_ he would if the demon released him, since he would be able to sit up.


	13. Chapter 13

In the warehouse there was a heavy silence which was only disturbed by the harsh, winter winds against the metal walls and the captive shinigami's hoarse panting. The demon recognised this sickly breathing, often while he was assaulting a human for their soul, they would make these same sounds before vomiting. The demon assumed that if he were to let go of Grell, then he would do just that, and so he took the scrap metal away from his temple and stood to his feet far enough away to avoid any of the substance touching him. As he had predicted, as soon as he withdrew his pressure, Grell sat up and opened his mouth wide to vomit. It was clear and thin, with solid matter in the mixture, and the smell of stomach acid was incredible. Unfortunately for Grell, this spilt all down his front.

The demon, as he was in race and personality, laughed loudly and asked Grell mockingly, "I was once told that humans feel better after they've vomited, so tell me, do you feel any better now?" It was, of course, sarcasm – sarcasm isn't a trait in all demons - this demon was far more sarcastic than Sebastian was or ever will be. When the demon had finished laughing he said, "I should probably take into consideration that it is likely that you lost a lot of water through your revolting actions. From what I understand, humans won't live for a week without enough water." So to combat this theory, the demon removed a large flask from his hip and tossed it in Grell's direction. "That should be enough for now. In the meantime, I'll be on the second floor of this warehouse. This is where I reside when I want to remain hidden so many of my things are upstairs. You, though, will remain here. Good night, _princess._" He spoke mockingly, and walked up the decaying stairs to one of his many private rooms.

...

Hours later the great fire, which was the only pleasant thing in the warehouse, was down to low embers. The room was dimly lit, and the smell of smoke was heavy as it rose from the ashes. Without the fire, the warehouse was not any warmer inside than it was outside in the snow. The demon and Grell were not the only living things there, many rodents and insects huddled around the dying flames and Grell could see their shadows on the walls and hear their voices as they spoke in tongues to one another.

...

Sebastian had already travelled to a nearby town northeast of London by foot. He had decided since he had no way of knowing where the demon had taken Grell, he would take Pluto with him to help him find Grell. He had ordered the demon dog to remember the scent of Grell's coat, which he had over his shoulder, and lead him to where Grell was now. It was morning now, and it was a day of snow and overcast. The few people of the town, when compared to London, made many as a whole. Several of them were here because it was the only shopping district in the town. As he walked down the streets he noticed that this area resembled the mad town where they had found Pluto.

Pluto was beside him now, in his human form, sniffing frantically and pausing often to bark threateningly at passerby. If Sebastian hadn't given those who would ask questions or follow, 'the evil eye', than he may be in a difficult situation now. Demons naturally had the ability to frighten dumb animals with their gaze, such as dogs or humans, as to save themselves the trouble of bothering with them. It didn't work on demon dogs, as they were a demon's best friend, (much like how a dog is a human's best friend) and didn't find humanoid demons threatening.

Pluto, though, was giving Sebastian a lot of trouble. It was Sebastian's assumption that Grell was too far away for even a demon dog to find quickly - they would pause frequently so that Pluto could sniff at Grell's coat, and then he would look at Sebastian as if he wanted something, and then he would sniff again and head reluctantly in an uncertain direction - it took another ten minutes of this before Pluto finally caught onto Grell's scent and bounded wildly ahead. The demon dog was on a rampage, knocking over shop signs and the citizens of the town. Sebastian, of course had no difficulty keeping up with Pluto, but he was curious as to where he was going. Was Grell really in this small town?

Pluto eventually stopped in front of – a bakery? Sebastian was confused, why had the demon dog taken him _here?_ It was hard to keep Pluto on his leash as Sebastian thought his situation over carefully. Eventually Sebastian came to a conclusion. He reached his hand inside Grell's coat pocket and felt what he had been looking for – but why was it there? Sebastian pulled a cookie from Grell's pocket, and sighed in defeat.

* * *

Grell watched the demon retreat to the upper story of the warehouse; this was good, because he didn't like his company in the slightest. Looking down at himself, he was disgusted at the sight of the vomit on his front. He unbuttoned his vest, taking it off and placing it in his lap. Suddenly, he heard a loud buzz in his ear, as if a bug of some sort had flown past him. Now that the demon was gone, Grell had completely given into himself, he sobbed and moaned, and tears rolled down his cheeks. The air in this place was cold, stale, and smoky because of the fire, making it quite unpleasant to breathe. A chilling wind blew into the room; he shivered and crawled towards the dying fire, taking the water flask with him.

Grell hiccupped, he felt even hungrier than he had before since he had vomited, he still felt sick though. Grell wiped at one of his eyes and opened the flask, pouring some of the fresh water onto his hands; he rubbed his hands together, trying to clean them. Pouring some more water into his hands, he tried washing his face the best he could, he was filthy. Grell hiccupped again, had he really gotten the hiccups _now_? He began to drink out of the flask, hoping it would stop the hiccups, as well as him just being intolerably thirsty. Grell searched through his vest he had placed in his lap and removed the comb he had always kept in there. He pulled it through his tangled hair; it hurt badly, mostly because his hair was all stuck together with Sebastian's dried blood. He whimpered, removing the comb, he didn't think the pain was worth it, plus, he thought he might damage his hair forcing the comb through it like that. He placed the comb back in his vest, hiccupping again.

Through his blurred vision, he stared at the dim fire, it was like a long stretch of yellow surrounded by black, he didn't take his eyes away from it- this blur symbolised the light in his darkness right now. A cold breeze blew in, making the light grow and then shrink once more shortly after. Grell felt fresh tears form in his eyes, he clutched onto the water flask- as if it were the only thing left in the world. For some strange reason, he felt a strong sense of déjà vu, loneliness swept over him, Grell wished that someone was here with him right now (besides that horrid demon upstairs) but he wondered if someone were here, who would it be? Who loved him enough to comfort him when he was feeling emotional? Grell hadn't realised it before, but he was _very_ lonely.

Sleepiness came onto him, he was absolutely exhausted. He thought maybe some rest would make him feel better, and perhaps he would have a happy dream. Grell didn't know if he could ever get to sleep though, especially with the scary thought of some filthy rat touching him while he slept, or some other creepy crawler. But he would rather not be awake when the fire went out, and if he actually managed to fall asleep, he wouldn't have to feel anything. Grell laid down on his side, trying to find a semi-cosy position. Once he had found it, he shut his sore eyes, the blurred, slowly-extinguishing light disappearing from view as he fell into a light slumber.


	14. Chapter 14

Sebastian brushed the thick, white snow off a nearby bench and sat down. Pluto also sat down patiently beside Sebastian, and stared at him with a look of adoration that Sebastian was certain Grell had given him once. Although Sebastian wasn't fond of dogs, he gave him a small pat, to which Pluto barked excitedly. Sebastian had brought Grell's glasses with him, but Grell's scent was not strong enough on it for Pluto to locate Grell. He also brought Grell's jacket, which had confused the demon dog the last time he had tried using it. He decided that to avoid further misunderstandings between the dog and himself, he would have to remove all of Grell's personal items from the pockets, so that only his perfume and natural scent were left of the scarlet fabric.

From Grell's pocket(s) Sebastian removed a box of breath mints, which Sebastian had already suspected that he owned, a perfume bottle, which was the same scent he had worn this morning, a key ring, with more keys than Sebastian thought he needed, a note book, which Sebastian didn't read because he was afraid to know what Grell had written, a fountain pen, for writing in his notebook, a box of spare eyelashes, since Grell's natural eyelashes were transparent, a pair of twin scissors, which he remembered being larger than this, a tube of bright red lipstick, which he had been wearing the night they met, a nail file, he owned one too, a scarlet hair ribbon, which trailed to the floor, a leather glasses case, in which he placed Grell's glasses, a golden hand mirror, which was beautiful but old and tarnished, and a velvet coin purse, which was depressingly light.

It was surprising for Sebastian to know that Grell owned so many objects; Sebastian had never imagined that Grell had so many possessions. Now that he thought about it, Grell had to live somewhere, probably in a dorm at the Ministry of Hades. Sebastian realised that he didn't have anywhere to put all of these things, but he couldn't put them back in Grell's pockets, because Pluto couldn't be distracted, and he knew he couldn't throw them away. He thought for a moment, unsure of a solution to this dilemma, until he finally came to an unappealing but singular conclusion. Sebastian entered a small business that would let you rent out a locker, and spent some of his own pocket money (a butler is an unrewarding job, it requires much but pays little) to rent a locker until he returned, and stored all of Grell's things there.

When he had finished, he left and had Pluto once more smell Grell's jacket. This time, the demon dog became serious, and the search for Grell began. Pluto led Sebastian out of the small town and down a cobblestone trail, which eventually became a dirt trail. This path was used so little that there weren't even the imprints of horse hooves or carriage tires in the snow, which now reached Sebastian's ankles. After Pluto and Sebastian had travelled a few meters down the road, trees began to come up around them, and even further, the sparse trees became a forest. Sebastian could see small animals, such as winter hares, and larger ones, such a deer begin to appear as they travelled further. Progress was slow, as the forest became even more dense, he had to duck under stray, leafless branches and step over creeping, dead vines. The forest was so dense by now that the bare branches created what could be described as a canopy. The air was still, it was windy outside of the trees, but once inside the forest borders little wind could penetrate.

* * *

Dawn had risen, and the first light of the day shone its way through the thin gaps in the rusting metal of the warehouse. One of the gaps just so happened to be in the perfect spot for a ray of winter's morning sunlight to shine directly onto Grell's eyes. Early birds sang their songs of daybreak while other small animals and insects began to move and become active, scuttling and crawling around and into the warehouse where Grell, in his shallow sleep, lay uncomfortably on the dirt floor. Grell's heavy eyelids twitched, lifting his long red lashes to a peep, his mouth was slightly open, and he had a sleepy expression on his face. His head lay in the crook of his arm, so once he had opened his eyes; the first thing that came into focus was his sleeve, where a plump beetle currently was relaxing.

Grell immediately took action by screaming at full volume while wildly shaking his arm around in the air, ignoring the weight of his shackles. The beetle went flying across the room - seeming to disappear, the dramatic shinigami was panting lightly, staring at his arm. How long had that bug been there? He didn't like thinking about it. Grell shivered, it was still snowing outside, and the wind was strong; he was hungry too, _famished_, he couldn't recall a time he had ever been this hungry. His stomach moaned as Grell sneezed, he felt awful - perhaps he had fallen ill. The shinigami sniffed as he lifted the water flask and brought it his pale lips, the sensation of the liquid filling his dry mouth and trickling down his sore throat was refreshing. He sighed after he felt satisfied, lowering the flask while licking his lips. Grell rubbed at one of his eyes with his other hand and blinked a few times, he looked down at his hand – it was so pale, paler than usual, since he hadn't been eating recently he wasn't getting the nutrients he needed, causing him to appear sickly and white. The faint glow that had surrounded him earlier had vanished, which was a good thing, though he still didn't feel any better, _worse_ actually.

He remembered having a dream, though he couldn't remember what it was. Pondering on the thought, he recalled it being something about him being spoon-fed by every person he remembered meeting in his life-time, they were all taking turns, and what they fed him was always something strange, and perhaps was related to his opinion on the person. For instance, he remembered Sebastian feeding him a spoonful of red rose petals and chocolate, while William fed him dirt and brown sugar. He was dressed as a princess while in a dungeon cell, on his knees clinging to the steel bars. Grell couldn't remember much else after that; he wondered what influenced that dream? Maybe it was because he was hungry, or something.


	15. Chapter 15

The demon had been in a deep sleep. As a demon, he could live contently for years without sleep, but sleep was enjoyable as a luxury and usually after a well-deserved nap he would have more energy than he did before. He had been having a most pleasurable dream concerning the demon of Persia, her savoury body and her captivating eyes as she looked so coldly through him, the way that the demon of England had before their battle in London. It had been centuries since their last encounter, and he was enjoying their reunion (perhaps more than he should have been) until a startling scream caused her to ultimately disappear.

His reflexes as they were, he sat up quickly and silently, his eyes wide as he looked in all directions for the source of the noise. The source, though, did not exist. It was then that he realised that the unexpected sound had come from _underneath_ him. It must have been the _human._ He could not fathom why the demon of England kept this freak with him; no purpose was worth the pain of his presence. He stood up from his makeshift bed of a thick blanket on solid floor and armed himself with an abandoned wrench. _"Shut up! Do you have any idea what time it is? It's too early in the morning and I want my damn sleep!"_ With vigour, he threw the wrench down at the redhead, hoping that would be enough to quiet him.

Unfortunately, the demon didn't believe that he was going to be able to get back to sleep; it was probably not a good idea anyway. He needed to be alert when the demon of England came for his princess.

* * *

After Grell had finished drinking from the demon's water flask, he noticed it felt a lot lighter than before, perhaps he had drank too much, he needed to save this water as long as possible; who knows when he would be getting a refill. He shook the water flask violently, hearing the water splash around in the empty space of the container. Grell frowned, this was very disappointing for him, this was the one luxury he had in this horrible place. He was about to pull his vest onto his lap, so that he could hide the flask in it (in case the demon decided to take it back) but a wrench came flying from the upper floor and landed directly on top of it, possibly smashing his fingers – if it had been any closer.

The demon's livid, loud voice echoed across the warehouse and rang in Grell's ears. Grell jumped at this unexpected comment. He must have woken the demon up earlier when he had been screaming, if he had been sleeping - Grell knew very well that demons didn't even _need_ sleep, and it made him angry just thinking about the bum snoring and drooling in a _comfortable_ place. Grell hadn't had a single moment of comfort ever since he arrived here, and was just about sick of it! The shinigami was surging with anger and frustration, taking hold of the wrench the demon had tossed in his direction, throwing it viciously back up at him – hopefully it landed on his toe.

"_You_ shut up! It's too early in the morning for you to be bitching and moaning like that!"

The reckless shinigami knew that mocking the demon wasn't his best move, but it felt _good_, he was tired of playing prisoner, but if he had to he was going to be the biggest _fucking_ pain a prisoner could be. Grell went ahead and threw one of the few scrap metals that had been lying around on the floor, tossing it ferociously towards the demon, repeating this move with every piece of junk he could reach around him. Using all of his strength, fusing it with his fury, wildly trying to attack the demon.


	16. Chapter 16

It was at once both amusing and insulting that the human had already forgotten what he could do to him, or if he hadn't forgotten, perhaps he was hoping to _enjoy_ the pain he would give to him. The demon frowned, he was creating a strategy, and when it was complete he knew that even a masochist wouldn't appreciate _this_ pain. The demon jumped lightly onto the railing of the second floor, his arms spread for balance - he was unafraid of the steady stream of objects being thrown his way because the human was unable to throw the objects high enough to hit him – and from the railing the demon jumped. His left leg was lifted to create a greater impact with his right and with excellent timing his foot landed on Grell's hand and wrist just as he was reaching for a sharp, flat scrap metal. He felt a smile spread over his features as he felt the wrist snap underneath his body weight and heard a scream.

The demon couldn't keep the look of anger on his face, he laughed loudly and happily, digging his heel into Grell's hand and feeling the scrap metal underneath cut through his glove and into the flesh. "I won't let my inferiors threaten me, even if their threats don't intimidate me." He couldn't keep the playfulness out of his voice. He used his left foot to press Grell's face into the dirt, careful not to exert too much pressure so that he could breathe, but enough to keep his head down. He unfastened his belt from his expensive trousers and, holding the end opposite of the buckle, brought the belt down with all of the strength he could muster onto Grell's back.

It was not a light punishment; he beat him with the steel buckle until the dull metal tore through the thin cloth on the back of his shirt and began to hit the exposed skin in a repeated motion. Over Grell's loud screaming and sobbing and the demon's heavy breathing from his vigorous thrashing he shouted, "To use a belt buckle as a whip has its advantages! It would take hours for me to break your skin, the way I tore your shirt! I have also heard from victims that the pain lasts for _months _after the beating, while cuts would heal! Even your immortality has its benefits, a regular human would be unconsciousby now, but you're far more durable!"

The demon could feel the metal catching on Grell's skin as it hit his flesh with a satisfying sound, only for a moment before it was lifted again, and again, and again. After another fifteen minutes though, the demon was exhausted, he was breathing hard and sweating heavily as he tossed the ruined belt to his side. He removed his feet from Grell's hand and the back of his head, and took a step back, analyzing the damage. His shirt had been ruined and his skin was inflamed and flushed but undamaged. He imagined it would be bruised after an hour or two. He saw the water flask he had given to the human underneath his ruined vest, he took it and began to unscrew the top. "You were trying to hide this from me. Unfortunately for you, I am not so unperceptive. If I were in a good mood, I wouldn't care what you did with this, but you've made me very angry – I'm taking my flask back – you can have the water." Once the lid was off he poured what remained over Grell's head, if there was any benefit, some of the blood washed out of his hair with the water. The demon tossed the flask aside carelessly after he was finished. "While you are here, you will not defy me. I'll refill your flask tomorrow." He left for the stairs without another word.

...

Sebastian was unsure how close he was to Grell, but both of them, Sebastian and Pluto, had followed Grell's scent for many hours. It was noon; the earliest hours of the day had passed. Sebastian estimated that they were half-way through the forest, even still he had wanted to keep going, but Pluto had been too exhausted. He was curious, what was on the other side of all of these trees? What kind of hellish place could the demon be keeping Grell? He was worried about him, this particular demon didn't have much patience, and Grell was difficult to be around for long stretches of time. It was possible that Grell could already have been disposed of by the time he reached the demon's hideout. He stroked Pluto absent-mindedly, he wouldn't relax, he wanted to leave as soon as the demon dog was ready.

* * *

Grell sensed the smooth touch of the cool liquid as it ran through his hair, streaming through his thick locks, travelling down his back and over his face, mixing with the tears that had built up in his eyes, dribbling off his bottom lip in combination with the fresh blood he was currently drooling. Grell had bit his tongue during his beating; the thin, coppery taste filled his mouth, occasionally being forced to swallow if it didn't leak onto the floor or seep into his hair. The demon had been speaking to him, but he couldn't understand anything he said, his voice sounded like a loud buzz in his ears, he was too focused on his pain.

Bitter morning winds were blowing harshly over Grell's beaten body, his damp hair fluttered around him, lifting up before falling to touch the tender skin on his back, the long tresses leaving an icy sting behind when it made contact. This was only side-effect to the unbearable, excruciating, _impossible_ pain he was feeling right now. It felt as though all of the skin on his back had been violently ripped off, shred by shred, smothered with salt and drowned in alcohol, while his back was burning with a fire so hot it felt like _ice_. This only mildly expressed the way Grell was feeling now; he had never, _ever_ in his lifetime felt anything like it.

Many hours had passed before Grell decided to try moving, he had been too scared to earlier, it hurt enough just to breathe, but shifting even in the slightest stung immensely, he knew if he even tried to sit up the pain would be intolerable. He thought maybe now that some time had passed, he might be able to move. Grell attempted to sit up, but it wasn't worth it, his back was too sore, an ugly bruise had probably appeared there now. He lied back down onto his side, a blank expression on his face. He wasn't sure what to feel now.

Thoughts crept into Grell's mind, he wondered if Sebastian was even _going_ to save him? Seeing him dismiss the problem seemed so possible – even if it was unlikely, the thought kind of frightened him. What if he was at his mansion right now? Probably serving tea to his _master_, concerning Grell as William's problem. He wondered if all demons were that insensitive and selfish, the shinigami wasn't sure if even _he_ could forgive Sebastian if he didn't rescue him, but it's not like Sebastian would care what Grell thought of him, he probably didn't care about him at all. Even if he were coming to save him, it was probably for a reason regarding William, or his reputation.

Grell felt fresh tears building up in his eyes as he stared at his blurred, broken wrist. It was so cold, the shinigami wondered if he even had any body heat left, he had been sweating from his beating earlier and felt absolutely _disgusting_, he was tremendously thirsty as well –but he was drooling enough to swallow some saliva, though it wasn't very satisfying, a thick coppery taste left behind from his blood coated the entire inside of his mouth. Grell moaned pathetically as he let out a struggled breath, watching it slowly fade into the cold air. He wished someone would give him an affectionate touch, so he could feel the pain course through him – a pain inflicted out of love.


	17. Chapter 17

Sebastian had not even needed to interfere; Pluto had killed the wolf before he could have gotten close enough for an attack to reach. It was common for dogs to protect their masters, even if it resulted in their death. It was one of many reasons why Sebastian hated dogs. Sebastian normally would have let Pluto enjoy his victory, but not now. He walked past the demon dog, who was gnawing at the dead wolf's neck, and when he didn't follow he clapped his hands loudly and ordered "Pluto, drop that, continue our search!" Pluto did as he was told, but he wasn't happy, he growled angrily and once again followed the scent on Grell's coat. Sebastian did not feel sympathetic in the slightest; he had already had a long break.

The wolf had only happened to attack them at the forest's borders, it was possible that the wolf did not live there, and had only entered for food. It must have lived far beyond the forest's borders, because he doubted that it could have lived in the place he had entered. It was nice, to be outside of the forest after he had spent a whole day there, he appreciated the wind and the snow that settled on his shoulders and in his hair. The snow, though, made everything it covered uncomfortably bright. He had not prepared himself for the change from the deep forest colours to the stunning snow white, which would have made _any_ other white look grey. The grass was dead and very tall and in life had found a way to grow over everything, from the moss on the stones to the abandoned, dirt trail that Sebastian stood on now. He imagined that this same trail had once gone through the forest, but became overgrown as it was used less and less often, until it was forsaken entirely. In this long grass were the tallest weeds he had ever seen, they made him uncomfortable, he had never seen anything like them in any human settlement. In the distance he saw a metal warehouse red with rust.

Sebastian did not remain there for long, though, once his sensitive eyes had adjusted to the light he saw Pluto staring at him impatiently. Once their eyes met he barked excitedly and hurried forward, in his haste he ignored a fox they passed, which was most unlike him. Before Pluto had him before the doors of the warehouse, Sebastian knew that was where the demon dog was taking him; he had been able to guess from the general direction. Pluto was barking madly and pulled on his leash. It was not only Pluto, Sebastian was having difficulties restraining himself from entering, he felt keen to enter, and that was uncommon for him. He could smell the demon, and once again, his scent was the weaker of two – Grell's scent was much stronger, and much less pleasant.

He tied Pluto's leash to a wooden pole outside, which was full of nails and screws and what remained of paper that had once displayed important information. Pluto looked at him pathetically, as dog's often do when they're begging, but Sebastian wanted to fight the demon alone. He knelt down in front of the demon dog, _his_ demon dog, and for once felt happy that Ciel had taken him from Angela. He smiled, and stroked his soft hair, before his expression became serious and he entered the warehouse. Sebastian had entered silently, but the doors made a lot of noise as they creaked on their broken hinges, he was sure that both the demon and Grell knew he was here now. His entrance had unfortunately been more dramatic than he had intended, with him weak sunlight filled the entire warehouse (which had once been miserably dark) and with a heavy gust of icy wind. In front of him was Grell, who had been lying on his side but was now very slowly and carefully positioning himself onto his knees. Sebastian didn't pause, but continued his advance until he was only a foot away, and from there he crouched down so that his face was almost even with Grell's. He took the shinigami's chin in his hand, and lifted his face so that he could see him better.

He was in terrible condition, as Sebastian feared that he would be – his clothes were dirty, and his shirt had been torn beyond repair. His skin was dreadfully pale and icy cold, all but his cheeks which were red and burning with fever, and his back was heavily bruised. There was blood in the corner of his mouth and in his hair, and his right wrist was bent at an unnatural angle, but most noticeable were his red-rimmed eyes with dark bags, which had lost their lustre entirely. "He hasn't treated you very well, has he?" It was a statement as a question, it didn't require an answer. "I would have been here sooner, but I was delayed. I apologise." And his hand caressed him, almost lovingly, and he wiped at the small amount of blood in the corner of his mouth as gently as a demon could do so. Sebastian was so concerned with Grell, that he didn't notice their mutual enemy behind him, ready to attack.

* * *

Beautiful was the closest word that Grell could think of to describe Sebastian as he made his appearance, when common people think of demons; they have the impression of something evil, ugly, or dark. But Sebastian did not fit such a description, even if only a blur in his eyes, he was far more beautiful than _any_ angel. Grell, ignoring the pain, sat up slowly, staring at the incandescent figure in his darkness.

Sebastian crouched before him, taking hold of the shinigami's chin, observing him. Grell felt embarrassed, he probably looked hideous right now, especially in comparison to the demon. Once Sebastian let go, Grell looked away slightly, his already red cheeks blushing further. A loving, familiar hand ran over his face, gently wiping at the blood in the corner of his mouth. Could this hand really belong to Sebastian? It felt so different, and even though he hadn't been touched this way in a long time, it felt so familiar. Grell let out a small sound in reaction to this, absorbing the affection he so longed for. The lonely shinigami's heart was fluttering, as he reached to touch Sebastian's hand with his shackled, good one.

But before he could, he saw the other demon behind Sebastian, a vicious, hateful aura surrounding him – Grell couldn't see his expression, because of his poor vision, but he could tell he was disgusted. Suddenly, something seemed to hit Grell, like he had woken up from a dream, he felt extreme déjà vu, suddenly he felt incredibly worried, or scared, shouting very loudly.

_"Sebastian! Behind you!"_

Grell didn't know what happened after that, he seemed to daze off, as if he fell asleep. This whole situation didn't seem real anymore, it was like he went back in time. He was suddenly reminded of _everything_.

...

It had been somewhere between the years 1620-1630 when Grell came into the world, brought into the society of a middle-class system. He didn't remember his exact birthday, it had been so long ago, but that wasn't very important because of his current lifestyle. The Sutcliff family had been rumoured to be cursed, people gossiped about his father's odd ways and the demonic resemblance his blood had carried for many, many years. Children ignored him, simply because they were afraid – his teeth frightened them as well as rumours about his family, his father in particular. Grell was rather lonely, and didn't have any friends for a long time.

There was a particular girl, though, that he remembered accepting him, they had been good friends in his childhood, she was one of those astonishing, optimistichumans. She was a naive girl though, she always trusted the good in people, and that's how she got herself kidnapped. Grell never saw her again after that; he met her when he was seven, they hadn't been friends for very long. They had planned to get married, like a lot of innocent children did, he remembered the scene; she had picked him a lovely red poppy. She said it looked a lot like him, tying it in a knot to place on his pale finger. Grell was going to pick her a bright yellow daisy for her blonde hair and bright, honey-coloured skin, but he was never able to give it to her, because by then, she had been stolen.

If his father wasn't working, he was always "out and about" doing strange things that people often gossiped about; people liked and disliked his father at the same time. He was quite the character, but no one could really say anything definite about him, he always seemed to be a different person with every encounter. But that was just "the ways of a proper actor". Grell's father had been an admired actor in his time, when theatre was just becoming popular. Grell had always been closer to his mother, but that didn't mean much because he wasn't very close to his father. She often avoided him, only attending to his needs and necessities, but never really seemed to enjoy his company – he didn't understand why at the time. He had inherited her vibrant red hair and pale skin, people often said he looked a lot like her, but it was his father he had received his strange eye-colour and teeth from.

She didn't stay very long; she left him when he was only nine years old… That was the year when his life changed. Grell never knew what happened to her, it was rumoured that his father killed her, because he mysteriously disappeared after her death, but that was just gossip. Grell clearly remembered the sight he saw that morning, as she laid skewered in her own bedroom, a lot like that splattered nurse. He remembered being traumatised, crying for hours, lost and alone in the world.

But later that day, a "friend" of his father's – the manager of the theatre his father worked at, came to him, offering to adopt him, mentioning that his father always saw Grell with a bright future as a successful "actress". Actors and actresses were all male in the time-period and there were few pretty men to play the role of a female, and Grell, being a beautiful young boy, would be a good addition to their society. Of course, he accepted this offer, having nowhere else to go.

Grell's hair had been cut short, (it had been at his shoulders) in order to fit into the wigs that he was going to have to wear with ease. He began vocal training to be loud and enthusiastic, as well as singing for various musicals. He practiced stage performance by taking on small, simple roles of young girls. He had been trained every since he arrived to "be" a woman and as he grew older, he always took on women's roles. He felt awkwardly comfortable in a dress, with makeup and long wigs; he was a natural at throwing his voice to sound feminine, as well as being graceful. Though his one downfall was his ridiculous teeth that he had always hated since they started growing, he had to train himself to speak without opening his mouth very widely so they wouldn't be noticed. He had been homeschooled since then, mostly on the subjects of reading, writing, and the history of literature – but only the basics of other things.

Grell quickly became a popular actress and was well respected among his theatre, acting was something he truly enjoyed and the theatre lifestyle was something he grew comfortable with easily, he could pretend he was a woman, which was pleasant for him, especially since he could do it well! During his 16th year of life, a new member joined Grell's theatre society, his name was Erik – the only name he remembered from so long ago, he was about a year or two older than himself, to describe Erik, you could say he looked similar to Sebastian. His hair a bit less stylish, blue eyes, and perhaps less lean. His face resembled his though not quite as pretty, either way, he appeared quite attractive to Grell at the time. They seemed to fit, like two pieces of a puzzle, they often got parts together, and he even got to kiss him a few times! This unfortunately, was only acting. Grell and Erik, with their strong chemistry, quickly became friends and got along very well, outside of their theatre life though, their relationship was never expressed through the passionate means of love - how he would have liked to though!

Five years passed, Grell's 21st birthday came, and he felt so old! He remembered fearing that one day he would become too old and be unable to take on roles of young women. Instead he would have to act as old ladies, the thought was frightening, he never wanted to grow up. During that year, a strange script came into the studio, without any recognition for who wrote it. The story was about eight people who were deeply in love with a kidnapped princess. All of them wanted to save her, hoping to win her love. Grell didn't remember much else about the story besides that all of them died ridiculous deaths but one – Prince Ramathell, who saved the princess – whose name was simply "Princess".

Grell of course took on the role of Princess, while Erik took on the role of Ramathell; they practiced together a lot, as they usually tried to get parts together. The play went smoothly at first, Grell clearly remembered the scene near the beginning of the play where he was kidnapped by the antagonist and taken backstage to get prepared for one of the later scenes, but instead something strange happened. Once Grell went backstage with the antagonist, he smelt an awful odour; he followed the smell, the other man following him because he seemed to smell it too. The smell led to a potato sack, sitting in one of the storage rooms. Clearly something was inside, something that was once_ alive_, because there were blood stains from the inside bleeding through the cloth - becoming visible on the outside.

It took Grell a while to gather enough courage to open the sack, inside he found a body – like he had expected, it belonged to the actor who took on the role of the antagonist. That's when Grell should have remembered to watch his back, because if the actor who was supposed to take him backstage was dead, then who was with him? The man who stole the identity of the antagonist knocked him out with something, he didn't remember what. He just remembered everything going black, after a painful assault on his head.

By the time Grell woke up, he found himself in the house he had lived in for the early years of his childhood. The area here had long ago been abandoned. He was lying on the wooden floor, his hands tied together with rough rope, a cloth strip tied around his mouth to keep him from speaking. He saw his abductor leaning over him, staring into him with wide, vivid yellow eyes. Grell remembered clearly now how disturbing his face was, he looked towards him with fear, and the man smiled a wide, wicked smile, revealing sharp white teeth – just like his. He began to laugh, the sound was uncanny and high-pitched, and it reminded him a lot of a hyena.

Grell never understood his father; it was like he had multiple personalities. He remembered back then when he could be such a loving parent, and sometimes when he was a clear madman. He was always changing, he remembered wondering why. Why did he do some of the things he did?

Still in full costume, his abductor would occasionally play with the frills and layers of the dress he was wearing. He would do a lot of strange things; he took off the fine wig that Grell wore many times, plucking out strands of his real hair, and one time sucking on his head. He would always put it back on though. Sometimes, he would just beat his defenceless victim until he passed out, he even once went further to hurt and humiliate him by lifting his dress and bloomers to feel his nether regions against his will, but he was careful to put the costume back the way it was. Sometimes he would sit and stare at Grell for hours; once or twice reaching out to touch his prisoner's face. There was a deep sadness about him, looking at him made Grell want to cry, he couldn't help but love him, his one and only father.

This went on for days, he wasn't sure how many, and Grell could only remember it felt like forever - until something completely unexpected happened.

"I've come to rescue you, Princess Grell."

It was Erik, his best friend, but he called him his lover when he thought about him. Grell remembered staring at him with surprise, he wasn't sure how he had must have looked then, but it caused Erik to make a pitiful, disappointed look at him.

"Did… You not _want_ me to save you?"

His father walked up behind Grell, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You do realise that we're not in a play anymore, _Ramathell_, and that I can actually hurt you. I can _kill_ you, or Princess." He said, squeezing Grell's shoulder.

Erik was a weak human, physically and mentally, though he managed to put on the act of the strongest people, he was an idiot for even trying to save him. Erik pointed the gun he had brought with him at Grell's father, he looked hesitant though, and Grell didn't know if he was even going to be able to do it. Pointing a gun at someone was one thing, but actually shooting it was another. Until, his expression changed from fear to determination.

Now that he seemed serious, Grell was frightened; these were the two most important people in his life, his father, and his lover. Even if he was an awful father, he was the only one he would ever have, and Grell knew deep down inside that his father loved him. And Erik, he was in love with him, losing him didn't even seem possible.

The madman charged at Erik, Erik still pointing the gun in his direction, shutting his eyes, he pulled the trigger. Grell made a muffled scream from behind the cloth in his mouth; his father now lying dead on the floor. Was one bullet really enough to stop him? Erik walked quickly over to Grell, falling in front of him. Erik looked exhausted and relieved both at once, touching his face, a lot like Sebastian had, Grell couldn't look at him though, he was staring at the corpse of his father lying not too far away from them.

As he stared at him though, he saw the figure move; could he really still be alive? Grell wouldn't be too surprised; his father worked in mysterious ways. But, he looked so dead as he fell from the first shot, despite that, the man was sitting up, staring angrily at them; it could have even been a look of disgust. It was exactly like the scene with Sebastian. His father moved so fast, it was almost inhuman, Grell was making muffled noises – trying to warn Erik - but his father was so much quicker.

"You get your filthy hands off _my_ human…"

Grell didn't even know what he did, he just saw waves of movement from behind Erik, sick noises of ripping and cracking could be heard, it happened all so fast until Erik fell before him, a look of absolute suffering on his face, Grell wished at that moment that he had held him and touched him – shown him any sort of appreciation for his efforts, he felt as though he made him die alone. Grell was screaming and wailing, sobbing miserably while desperately trying to undo his binds so he could reach to touch him, to scream how much he loved him in his final moments. But he missed his chance, as Erik's life left him slowly, he didn't even look at the _monster_ behind the person he cared for most in the world.

"Did this man…mean more to you than _I_ do?" His father's words always sounded emotional, and this time Grell could sense the loneliness in his voice, but who could love someone who was always changing? Someone who never expressed their true self, they couldn't even be a person, could they? Grell continued to stare at Erik; he didn't react to his words at all.

"So be it - I could have been what he never was in your life, we could have lived together and started over - but you have chosen death over love."

What, and end up like his mother? Grell had always known, as an assumption, that his mother had been this man's daughter. He knew now that he had killed her because she had been in an affair with another man; she probably never loved him the way he wanted her to. Grell thought that he was going to kill him there, but it was the opposite. His father died, right after he spoke. He never knew how, but that man always did something unexpected.

No one came for Grell after that, he was forced to rot among the corpses of his lovers, he wasn't sure how long it took, but he died, alone.

...

The next time he awoke, he was in a new place with a new body. It was still his same body, but reanimated with divine power. A man was standing over him.

"Welcome to the Ministry of Hades, what is your name?"

They always asked what their name was, even though they already knew, often the tragic deaths changed them and the soul wanted to start over, go by a different name.

Grell hesitated, unsure of his situation, but answered the question anyway.

"Grell… Grell Sutcliff."


	18. Chapter 18

Sebastian saw, and heard even more clearly, the fear in Grell's face and voice but didn't waste time trying to comprehend what it meant. Instead he turned around immediately, just in time for his quick reflexes to catch the sword that had very nearly severed him in half. It was difficult to keep the sword suspended, above his head, his hands were clasped to hold the weapon in place and he felt the blade nick his palm. He didn't make any reaction, as the blood trickled down his wrist and into his sleeve. "I must say, that was very impressive. Your stealth challenges even my hearing. I will also say that for you to attack me with a human weapon is most surprising. Will we battle in our human forms?" With difficulty, Sebastian threw the blade back at the demon, he took a step back but his opponent already swung at him again, before either of them had time to recover, Sebastian had to dodge left to avoid losing his head as the demon stumbled forward. "You know as well as I do, that a _true_ battle between demons would demolish this building and the land surrounding! We are in a weak world, so we will battle in weak bodies!"

The demon charged at him again, swinging his blade wildly but accurately, and it was all Sebastian could do to evade the bloodthirsty steel without a weapon of his own. The demon's attacks were dangerous, but they were predictable, he would swing left and right, all while advancing. Sebastian could avoid these easily, whatever direction his attacker swung, he would move in the opposite direction and back. It was to be expected that as the two continued to move in one direction in this enclosed place that Sebastian would eventually be unable to move, as there was a wall, and when this inevitably happened Sebastian jumped high into the air and landed on his feet behind the demon. He turned around to face his enemy, but the other was faster, he turned quicker than Sebastian did and thrust the blade forward unexpectedly. Sebastian let out a startled cry and turned to his right side, but although the blade had not managed its original intent, it did tear the front of his shirt and his skin in the abdomen area, propelling ruby drops of blood forward with the weapon.

The excitement of battle had consumed the demon, the sight of his fleeing and bleeding opponent invoked extreme happiness. Repeated technique and easy kills had been his routine for too many years – too many years without a challenge – the demon and Sebastian may have differed greatly on their opinions of this world and its inhabitants, but in physical strength they were _equal._ The ecstasy of the moment had possessed him and made him far more formidable, and as both of them moved back and forth, as dominant and recessive, aggressive and defensive, light and dark, and malevolent and benevolent their fighting resembled a dance. It was a fight the demon was winning, he was moving faster and Sebastian was moving slower. As he swung his sword downward he saw that although Sebastian escaped, a few strands of black hair were cut and fell to the floor.

Sebastian knew that for him to have a chance to win this fight and save Grell, he would have to acquire a weapon or disarm his opponent, otherwise he would only be able to defend. Sebastian turned his head to look behind him, for any way to solve his dilemma, but before he could find anything the demon had grabbed him by the throat and had pinned him to a wooden beam supporting the second floor. "If saving your princess, sir knight, is your intention then it would be a good idea not to distract yourself during the fight for her life!" Sebastian had shut his eyes and had grasped at the fingers around his throat, to pry them from the sensitive flesh, but was unable to do so. Sebastian would not let the fight end this way, though, so he kicked the demon in the chest with all of his strength. His enemy stumbled back, as Sebastian had intended, and Sebastian used a wooden support beam as a shield for the demon's next attack. As a demon, even with a human weapon, he was able to cut it down.

Both of the demons moved out of the way as the wooden beam fell, and hit the ground with such tremendous force that the whole warehouse resonated. It was then that Sebastian had an idea, as his opponent was pulling his sword out of the wood, he examined the warehouse thoroughly. It was a tall building and had many floors, but only the first two were in use. Sebastian and the demon were on the left side of the warehouse, and Grell was chained to the right. It was extremely daring and very dangerous, but Sebastian had no other choice. The demon came his way, his weapon high, and Sebastian dodged as he had earlier. As he moved back, he would use the pillars as a shield, and every time the demon would cut them down. He was too excited to notice the pattern. The black knight moved around the warehouse, purposely letting every support beam be cut down, until only one remained and the warehouse creaked and moaned. The whole building was unstable, it swayed in the blizzard wind as screws and nails fell from above. The demon was laughing in a lunatic manner, his eyes wide with an eager expression.

_"There is only one of those damn beams left, after I cut it down, you will have nowhere to run! You and your princess will die here!"_ As the demon raised the blade to cut through the last beam, Sebastian ran to Grell who was near this particular location. He lifted the wounded shinigami into his arms as quickly as he could, and tried to leave with him, only to be held back. He remembered that Grell was still chained to the warehouse wall. The demon let the last beam fall, and was coming their way in his insanity as the warehouse began to fall down around them. Sebastian realised now that unless he found a way to break these chains then he and Grell would die here with their common enemy! he thought quickly but was unable to think of a way to break the chains in enough time for them to escape. It was purely instinct that Sebastian dodged, and purely luck that the chains were stretched in front of the demon, and were severed just as the support beams were. Acknowledging this unexpected streak of luck, Sebastian used his demonic speed to run and exit through the doors, just as the tower where Princess Grell had been kept crumbled, killing his captor.

* * *

The dramatic battle between the two demons had come to an end, as the warehouse collapsed on top of their enemy, crushing him. Grell now found himself in Sebastian's arms the same way he had before. Sebastian had risked his life for the sake of Grell's own, he wondered what reasons could be so significant for his actions, surely he took the other seriously – as a dangerous opponent, surely he _knew_ the possible consequences for attempting to save him, what could be so important? Grell wanted to know, what things were important to Sebastian.

It was extremely cold outside, especially to Grell in his thin, torn blouse – and his weakened state. He shivered; shutting his eyes, wishing the wind would stop. The bruises on his back ached because of the contact with Sebastian's gloved hand, sending nervous reactions throughout his body. The wind was causing Grell's hair to lift and flutter underneath him, brushing against Sebastian's legs. His cheeks burning red to colour his pale face which wore an expression resembling a look of discomfort. His mouth was slightly open, as he exhaled visible breaths fashioned like faint clouds before vanishing into the cold air.

Grell felt weak; a sickening, gross feeling haunted him. He felt dirty, and all over empty, completely hollow. He didn't even know if he could stand if he tried, and his wrist reacted with extreme pain at even the slightest attempt to move it. Grell was exhausted, Sebastian was holding him now, so perhaps he could rest – the poor shinigami was so tired. He wondered what Sebastian was going to do with him now? His arms were so warm in comparison to himself, they were strong and supportive, comfortable and loving, despite all of his pain, he could fall asleep easily in this embrace.


	19. Chapter 19

It had not been too long ago that Sebastian had held Grell this way - it had been two days – Grell had felt very different then, than he did now. He was much lighter, Sebastian didn't doubt that his digestive track was entirely hollow, and he also felt the shinigami trembling from cold. The wind was cruel and blew strongly against them. He set Grell temporarily on a snowy bench and produced his brilliant, red coat from over his shoulder. He placed this on Grell carefully, his right wrist was broken, and so he had some difficulty in pulling his arm through the sleeve. If Grell had been healthy, he would have worn this coat hanging from his elbows, but since he was not and it must have been below freezing he put it on Grell the way it should have been worn and buttoned it to his neck. It was too tight, but Sebastian knew warmth was more important.

Once Sebastian secured Grell, he untied Pluto, who was waiting patiently where he had left him. The demon dog was so eager to see Sebastian again that once he was untied, he placed his hands (paws) on his shoulders and began licking his face with his wet tongue and barking happily. Sebastian, with some difficulty, had him back on his hands and feet (paws) once more. He realised that he couldn't hold Grell (who couldn't walk) and Pluto's leash at the same time, so he decided that he would have to trust Pluto. Sebastian returned to Grell, who looked so pitiful and weak where Sebastian had left him and lifted him once more, this time holding him in a more comfortable position for both of them. Grell's legs were around Sebastian's waist and his arms were around his neck while his slender, pointed chin wrested on Sebastian's shoulder. Without the benefits of being more convenient, this was also a good way for Grell to share some of Sebastian's body heat.

Unfortunately, the trio would have to travel back to the Phantomhive manor the way they came, by foot, because Grell was weak and had to be held and so that they could retrieve Grell's possessions from the locker in that small town where he had stowed them. Sebastian and Pluto had the energy for it, certainly, but the red-haired reaper had the appearance of someone who was dying. Sebastian would have to hurry to the manor to dress his major wounds (such as his wrist), bathe him, clothe him, feed him, and put him to bed. The black butler sighed, his schedule was always so full, he would have all of his butler duties tomorrow and now had to manage a grievously ill Grell. As Sebastian re-entered the forest, the shinigami was already in a light sleep, lulled by Sebastian's even footing and secure grasp. He would have to be even more careful now.

It originally took Sebastian a day to travel through this same forest, but now that he knew his destination and didn't have to wait for Pluto to hunt for wisps of Grell's scent the time was shortened drastically. If he concentrated, he could even see the forest trail past Grell's thick head of vibrant hair. He reached town after a reasonable two hours had passed and by then it was night. This scene was so much like his and Grell's previous situation two days ago, before Grell was kidnapped by the demon, that Sebastian felt a strong bout of déjà vu. It smelt cleaner in this small town by the forest than it did in London city, especially at night when there weren't any humans out, and Sebastian savoured the moment. He walked a little less hastily in town than he did in the forest as he searched for the small shop where he had stored Grell's belongings. He saw the shop after a short while of looking, and a good place to leave Grell before he went in.

As he approached the bench, cleaner than the one outside the warehouse, he paused before setting Grell down. The shinigami felt so _alive_ in his arms, even though he was so sickly – with his head resting on his shoulder he could feel him inhale and exhale, the breaths were loud and yet soft in his ears and the cold breath he released blew his stray hair and tickled his skin. He could feel his arms and legs tighten or loosen around him as he slipped in and out of dreams, his arms in rich velvet and his legs in ruined cloth, his expression occasionally changing. He set him on the bench as he left to enter the store. He told Pluto before, though, to protect Grell. He made sure that the dog understood that to protect him meant no one could even _touch_ him, and left after Pluto barked reassuringly.

After that, the rest of their journey to the Phantomhive manor was unmemorable and seemed to pass by quickly, even though the rapidly fading night made it seem otherwise. Once they reached the familiar place, Pluto howled, barked, and urinated on the lawn before leaving the demon and shinigami alone for his familiar ground. Sebastian sighed, careful not to sigh too loudly, lest he wake the sleeping reaper. He entered the house quickly, only pausing to unlock and relock the door, and from there to travel up the stairs to where the guestrooms were. He reached a comfortable room, and laid Grell down on the bed. As he was resting, Sebastian lit a candle with a nearby match. Sebastian looked over Grell's broken body and decided that before he returned him to the Ministry, that he would need to fix him. He didn't want William to win the competition he had started in the shopping district, he wanted to prove William wrong, that demons were not all selfish and sadistic. Although, Sebastian realised with irony, the only reason he cared for Grell's well being were for selfish reasons. Before anything, the shinigami needed to have his wrist treated so that the bone could begin healing immediately. He already knew that it would take a few weeks, it was important not to delay that for any longer than he had to. He decided that it would be kinder to leave Grell sleeping before he moved the bone back in place, so that he didn't have to wait for (or delay, if he was uncooperative) the inevitable pain. Sebastian prepared the materials necessary for a cast, and with a sudden movement snapped the bone back where it belonged.

* * *

Grell shifted in Sebastian's arms due to the sudden change in temperature as they entered the Phantomhive residence. It was much more comfortable, causing Grell to drift into a deeper sleep. He had grown accustomed to the movement of Sebastian walking while carrying him, so as he went up the stairs and placed him on the bed, Grell remained the same. It was only until Sebastian snapped Grell's bad wrist back into place when his slumber was broken. His random thoughts that had been creating a dream in his head vanished and significant doses of pain coursed rapidly through him. In reaction to this, Grell let out a high-pitched, but surprisingly soft scream of discomfort, followed by a feminine moan. His pattern of breathing became much quicker, and increased in volume just enough to where it could be heard as a small, weak pant. Lifting his heavy eyelids, he immediately looked down at his wrist, to find out what had caused the source of the sudden, intolerable pain.

Through his blurred vision, he saw Sebastian's hand holding his wrist – it was obvious that Sebastian had tried to relocate the bone back to its proper location. Grell delicately removed his slender, gloved hand from Sebastian's grasp, examining it. He suspected Sebastian would try rotating his hand or twiddling his fingers to check and see if he placed it right, but Grell was worried it would hurt – so he pulled his hand away as an attempt to avoid the treatment.

Grell, still lying on his side, rose daintily to a sitting position using his good hand for support he leaned halfway on one hip with his legs folded, lengthy strands of thick, cherry locks draped over his shoulders and back. The shinigami blinked once or twice, observing his surroundings – was this Sebastian's room? Of course not, the demon would never trust him in such a place, this must have been some other spare room in his house. Grell remembered the last time he came here, when he was disguised as the Barnett family butler, it was kind of awkward to return here in his true appearance – he felt a bit out of place.

Turning his head towards Sebastian, he looked at him curiously. What was Sebastian's purpose in bringing him here? Grell couldn't imagine Sebastian liking his company, especially in his home, perhaps he planned to return him to William once he fixed him up a bit. Grell didn't want to see William, he could almost hear the lecture waiting for him when he was to return home about him _seeing that demon_, and _slacking off_.

"Sebastian…"

Grell addressed him in a soft tone, gazing at him sleepily. Even through his blurred vision Sebastian was beautiful, Grell was in love with his whole existence entirely. He felt his chest swell with deep passion for the demon as he waited for him to respond.


	20. Chapter 20

Sebastian had been expecting Grell to react loudly after abruptly relocating his wrist, but even still, when Grell screamed and moaned (quieter than he had anticipated) Sebastian felt unprepared. The shinigami's delicate panting was so soft, that Sebastian would have had difficulty hearing the small sounds if he had not been listening carefully. His heavy lids opened suddenly and his face turned to stare at his limp wrist curiously, and analyzing the situation, he pulled his wrist away with an animalistic fear shining in his beautiful, yellow-green eyes. Sebastian held their gaze, his own eyes a deep red-brown, disguising an astonishing pink. Grell sat up slowly in an uncommon position, and with the pain in his wrist having died down, stared at him with a sleepy gaze and spoke his name softly.

"Grell." Sebastian answered, almost exasperated, and took his wrist again. "Please, do not make this any more difficult than it has to be." He used his index-finger and thumb to exert pressure on the sides and top and bottom of his wrist. Grell whined and moaned loudly, but didn't try and fight, which was a relief. The bone felt as though it were positioned correctly, but if Sebastian pressed too hard, it would move out of place again. "Your bone is where it should be, but I will have to clean this cut on your hand before I can apply bandages." Sebastian removed the torn, velvet glove and turned Grell's hand over to examine his palm, where a deep cut was partially healed over, observing more closely he noticed that the cut was healing with rust and dirt from the warehouse embedded inside. "I apologise, but I am going to have to re-open this. It's filthy, if it heals this way, it will become infected." Sebastian looked at Grell seriously and added, "It _will_ hurt; please let me go through with this."

Sebastian sat, holding Grell's hand carefully for a long time as Grell considered his options. The black butler sighed impatiently, as the shinigami gingerly chewed on his bottom lip, he had to be careful not to break the skin. Often Grell would glance at him, and when Sebastian glanced back, he would turn away swiftly. He was taking such a long time to decide whether he would like to cooperate or cooperate through force that Sebastian gently set down his hand on the quilt blanket and began sterilising the scalpel he was going to use to open the wound with, by heating it with the lit candle. Grell watched fearfully as the metal heated, changing from silver to red and from red to white. When the tool was ready, Sebastian looked at Grell with such a sincere expression, that he nodded and shut his eyes tightly.

The black butler didn't want the shinigami to pull his hand away before he was finished, so he tried to clean out the wound as quickly as he could. He inserted the knife at the beginning of the cut on the right side, it was a deep cut so he had to insert the knife deep into the flesh, and hollow it as quickly as he could with accuracy. There was a considerable amount of steam and soft sounds as he moved the heated metal through, and once it was removed blood began pooling in Grell's palm quite rapidly. Sebastian set the scalpel aside and lifted a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. It was invented in 1818 an estimated 80 years ago; it was useful for disinfecting cuts in a less painful way. Sebastian imagined that Grell had experienced enough pain recently as he placed a hand towel underneath Grell's hand and poured a small amount of the liquid onto Grell's palm.

The redhead moaned loudly, thick tears streaming down his cheeks, as Sebastian dabbed at the blood with the hand towel he had set underneath Grell's hand. When he was finished, he placed and held two thin, sturdy pieces of wood against the top and bottom of Grell's wrist and began to bandage them as tightly as he could with gauze, creating a cast. He bandaged further than his wrist though, he used the same bandage over the sterilised cut on Grell's palm. Sebastian finished by using a small amount of tape to secure the gauze and very gently letting Grell's hand rest on the blanket. Sebastian explained after a short pause, "These bandages will need to be changed regularly while you are recovering. If you would excuse me, I will be preparing the water for your bath." Before Grell could stop him, Sebastian left for the bathroom in the room but was kind enough to leave Grell the candle.

He was not going to be bathing Grell, he did not want the image or Grell's reaction, and he was certain that Grell could bathe without assistance, even in his weakened condition. Once Sebastian entered the bathroom, he knelt beside the tub and started the warm water instead of hot because of Grell's fever, and while the tub was filling he began removing simple soaps and utensils from the cabinet. Sebastian did not have any bath beads, scented oils, or bath toys for Grell's use but Sebastian was certain he could manage without. As Sebastian was folding a towel and setting it beside the tub he realised that once Grell removed his clothes he would not be able to wear them again, as they were ruined and dirty. Sebastian knew that Grell had to wear something while he was here, so Sebastian left the bathroom for his own room to find something for the shinigami to wear.

In his dark, simple room underground, Sebastian began looking through his drawers for something that he didn't want and that Grell could fit into. With difficulty he found an outfit that Ciel had bought him last year and had been too small for this body to wear. It wasn't red, it was a black suit and a white blouse, but he didn't have anything else. He realised with mild embarrassment that Grell would also need underwear, so he managed to find an unused pair. He quickly folded the outfit and hid the pair underneath, hoping that Grell wouldn't notice it was there until he was far away. Sebastian knew though, that these clothes would be unsuitable for tonight, and so he also found simple nightclothes for him. Sebastian didn't wear nightclothes very often; he didn't sleep very often, so he decided that he wouldn't mind if Grell used them.

He left quickly afterward for the guest bedroom where Grell was staying currently, and entered the bathroom without even acknowledging him. Because Sebastian was spectacular, he entered just in time to stop the tub from overflowing. He set the folded clothes down on top of the towel beside the tub, and left the bathroom. In the room, he approached Grell and with a light bow informed him, "Your bath has been prepared. Since your clothes are unfit to be worn again, please place them in the rubbish bin after they have been removed. They may… Not be to your liking, but I have provided you with some of my own. I will not be assisting you; I must begin the preparations for your meal. If you require anything, please pull the chain in this room or the bathroom, and I will be there to assist you. Since you are a guest in the Phantomhive manor, I will try with sincerity to fulfil your desires." Sebastian rose from his bow and left Grell so that he could, as he said, prepare his meal.

* * *

This whole situation felt awkward to Grell, Sebastian was treating him as a guest, and that alone was just weird. Sebastian was treating his wounds – instead of inflicting them, he prepared him a bath, and now he was cooking for him? Grell felt like an intruder, Sebastian treating him like this made him uncomfortable, as if he didn't know him, he was just acting like an old _butler_. He almost wished Sebastian would at least give him a cold stare of hatred to ensure that he hadn't forgotten about him now that he had become "a guest of the Phantomhive manor". Sebastian had just left to go prepare a meal for him; he just hoped this wouldn't get any more awkward.

Despite the discomfort, Grell was grateful that Sebastian was doing all of this for him, he could have just sent him home looking like complete rubbish. That would have been beyond embarrassing, and he would end up having to tell William what had happened, probably ending up with him getting all in his face about demons (Sebastian in particular) most likely making him even more strict about seeing Sebastian than he already was. Grell looked at his down at his hand, which Sebastian had bandaged for him, as well as placed a cast on his broken wrist. He hoped it would heal quickly, these restraints would probably get in the way of many things he would need to do with his hands.

Grell sat up slowly, he felt gross, not only was he filthy, but he was sick too. It wasn't so bad when he was lying down, but when he stood up he felt significantly fatigued and a vulgar feeling flushed through him. Grell caught on to the wall in order to keep his balance after the sudden sap of energy. His face was burning, and it was hard to see. Grell wondered where Sebastian had left his glasses, if he even had them. It was an unpleasant to think of his glasses breaking again, he couldn't afford new ones easily and William had already helped him out last time when they had broke in his fight with Sebastian. Grell managed to regain enough strength to stand and walk for a while after he rested on the wall that had supported him.

Once he reached the bathroom, he shut the door behind him - resting on its backside. He was still panting softly and he could feel his heart beating against his chest even though he had only walked a short distance. He began unbuttoning his uncomfortably tight velvet jacket, placing it on the nearby countertop. He could breathe a little easier now, and his panting slowed down a bit as he inhaled the steam that mixed in with the wind – which had blown in through the open window. Grell slid down the door to sit down, he was so exhausted. He didn't want to waste any time though, so he began to take off his favourite pair of expensive heels, he was glad that they hadn't been ruined like most of his other clothing, these shoes and his jacket were his favourite clothing pieces – he was lucky that neither of them had been damaged. Grell stood up and began to search the pockets of his jacket just to make sure that everything was there, he didn't think Sebastian would have taken anything, but it was possible that something might have fallen out. He found everything safe and secure inside, which was good. Grell opened his glasses box, expecting that was where his glasses would be, he found them, as well as his cleaning cloth. He missed his glasses, tired of this blurry vision; Grell cleaned them quickly before placing them on his face. Finally, his face was complete again.

The moment he put them on though, his reflection in the mirror became visible, Grell gasped at the sight – was that _really_ him? Examining himself further, he saw his red-rimmed, dull eyes as well as the tired bags that were underneath them, his face was deathly white besides his cheeks – which were burning red from his fever. There was a bruise on his cheek, where the demon had kicked him a few days ago.

Grell unbuttoned his ruined blouse which had once been so nice, it had been an expensive blouse made by a popular brand, he had spent so much of his money on this clothing piece he was so fond of, it was sad for him to see it tattered like this. Removing the rest of his clothing, Grell stared at the _hideous_ body reflected in the mirror in front of him. It was obvious that the shinigami hadn't eaten for a while, because his stomach was sunken. His sickly pale skin was dull and moist, making it appear pasty; his tangled mass of blood incrusted hair was frizzing and unpleasant smelling – he looked like a monster.

His gender-confused legs trembled and felt weak; he didn't know how much longer he could stand. Grell took hold of his hand mirror which had been in his jacket pocket, lessening to his knees, but that still wasn't enough to tame the disturbing, sick feeling that possessed him currently. Grell stared into his hand mirror, opening to his mouth to view his teeth. The shinigami touched one of their sharp edges, pricking his finger.

Grell was a _freak_.

He heard it often, but he never believed it, or maybe he just didn't want to. The scarlet shinigami sobbed, dropping the mirror – a loud cracking noise followed afterwards as he held his pale face in his thin hands. Jagged glass shards surrounded Grell's delicate knees as he wept, tears coming rapidly in large quantities, streaming through his long fingers.

After a few minutes, Grell pulled himself together; he didn't want his bath water to get cold. Climbing into the tub, the warm liquid stung against his bruised back. Whimpering, Grell allowed himself a moment or two to adjust his body temperature to the bath water.

**…**

Grell had spent about forty minutes in the bathtub, normally he would take about an hour, but he didn't have all of his proper cosmetics with him to stretch such a time. He had washed himself _thoroughly_, as if he was trying to wash away his unsightliness. His hair was still damp (it usually took hours to dry) and he had combed it out, it looked much better now – and smelt much better. Grell had changed into the nightclothes Sebastian had left for him, which had been a red silk night robe, though it was a bit long for him. To think this belonged to Sebastian, it probably looked great on him. The demon was kind to pick out something that suited his tastes. Grell had thrown away his old clothes; all accept his bowtie, jacket, and high-heels. His mirror had broken, which was really sad for him – Grell had that mirror for almost a hundred years. He picked up the pieces and placed them on top of the frame, leaving it on the counter in hope that it could be repaired.

The shinigami's hair was braided loosely, to ensure that it dried nicely, but it wasn't tight enough for it to wave in the morning -Grell usually did this after he washed his hair. He used the red hair ribbon he kept in his jacket pocket to tie a neat bow at the bottom in order to secure the braid, it matched nicely with the robe. He wore some of his perfume just because he wanted to. Besides, he wanted to smell nice after smelling unpleasant for so long.

Grell was writing in his diary with his left hand since his right was broken, recording the events that had happened since he encountered Sebastian in the market district up until now. He was lying on his stomach, on top of the bed, swinging his feet in a girlish fashion. He was feeling a bit better now that he had bathed, and writing down his feelings usually was good therapy, as William had told him.


	21. Chapter 21

Sebastian, as one hell of a butler, managed to create something Grell would like (with any luck) only ten minutes after he had finished his bath. He was unsure though if Grell, as he was ill, would be able to stomach even the light meal he had prepared. The exhausted butler sighed, and covered his face with his hand as he leaned against the table where he had just laid out the dishes. When the Jack the Ripper case had been solved, he didn't ever imagine that he would have the psychotic shinigami in his home as a _guest._ As he had many times that night, Sebastian told himself that it was not for Grell, it was for himself and the young master. It was a difficult task though, he only hoped that Grell would sleep not too long after he had finished eating, so he could begin preparing for tomorrow. He had to remember though, that he had a high fever and he would probably have to stay by his side as he slept, to keep his temperature as low as he could. If that were true, then he wouldn't be able to prepare at all! He was worried, if he were tending to Grell throughout the night and day, how would he be able to watch over the idiots who worked in this house as servants?

He tried to imagine what would happen if he left them in charge for a whole day – The young master would sleep in too late, and Bard would have destroyed the kitchen after cooking a mediocre breakfast just as late, he would have nothing to put the burnt food in as Mey-Rin would have broken all the dishes previously, and the only thing that would be in a worse state than the expensive dishes would be the dead garden with the destroyed forest, because Finny would have weeded the flowers and flooded the grass and torn down every tree, and the young master would demand that Sebastian find a way to fix every problem they had created while _also_ asking him to prepare for a party _tomorrow_ night all while he was trying to nurse Grell back to health, who the young master would ask to leave even though Sebastian couldn't return him in his sickly condition, and wouldn't understand even if Sebastian explained why, only giving in when he was bored with the argument – Sebastian had to admit he was worried, but there was nothing he could do to avoid his current predicament, so he would have to trust in their abilities.

Sebastian returned to the guest bedroom that had become Grell's bedroom temporarily, and knocked on the door, when there wasn't an answer the black butler assumed that it was safe to enter. Sebastian didn't wait for an answer; he entered and informed Grell with a bow, as he noticed absentmindedly how good Grell looked in his robe even though he was unwell, "I have finished, please come with me. I know you aren't feeling well, but I would like you to at least try to eat something." He spoke clearly and did not portray his thoughts in his voice. He approached Grell so that he could take his hand and help him to his feet, as the shinigami was standing and trying to find his balance afterward, Sebastian saw the small diary laying open on the bedspread, and had to look away quickly to keep himself from reading anything.

He didn't want to carry Grell down the stairs and he needed to bring the candle for light (for Grell, Sebastian could see in the dark), so he held his good wrist and hoped that that would be enough support. The mahogany wood had a red carpet draped over the steps that led down to the main room which had a tile floor. He imagined when they reached this, since Grell was with him, he would hear the loud click of heels on the tile, but since Grell was barefoot this time he heard nothing, he imagined that his feet might be cold. Sebastian was wearing shoes, but he knew that since the fires were out in the main room, that the floors were probably very cold. It may not only be his feet, either, even he could feel the chill in this room. He could see his own breath. He paused, and let go of Grell's wrist and set down the candle as he removed his jacket. "Even with a fever, it isn't wise for you to be in this cold wearing only silk." Sebastian meant what he said but spoke without concern as he draped the coat over Grell's trembling shoulders.

Sebastian led Grell into the kitchen, where the chandelier was burning brightly with numerous candles, but only provided a dim light without the support of the sun. Sebastian set down his candle since it wasn't needed, and led Grell by his good wrist across the astonishing kitchen as if he were leading him across a ballroom (the room may as well have been a ballroom, it was so extraordinary) to set him down in an elegant chair at the end of the table where the gold of the dishes shone extravagantly against the stainless tablecloth. If Grell were to look ahead he would see numerous windows, bordered in snow, with wide grounds of a winter garden and forest hidden by a blanket of white crystal, where a great demon dog could be seen howling to the full moon and thousands of stars that made the snow appear silver in the darkness. It was a place of such breath-taking beauty as can hardly be described. Sebastian poured him a glass of wine (It was supposed to be healthy in small doses) before he sat beside him in a chair identical to Grell's own, and lifted his bowl, and with a spoon tried to feed him manually. Grell was right-handed, and may have needed the support since the wrist for that hand was broken. It was a rich stew that was still steaming, that looked as though much effort had been put into making it.

* * *

Grell had been in the middle of trying to describe how he felt at the time when Sebastian had been holding him on their way to the doctors, he wrote as carefully as he could once he pieced together exactly how he wanted to phrase things, though his handwriting still wasn't very pleasant considering he had to write with his left hand. It was bothersome, but at least sloppy handwriting was more convincing – since he mentioned his wrist was broken before he began the story. Suddenly Grell heard a knock at the door, he decided to finish his sentence before answering, it was probably Sebastian so it's not like he had to ask who it was. The door opened a few moments after and Grell looked at his visitor to see it was Sebastian, as he had expected. Grell listened when Sebastian bowed and informed him that he had finished his meal.

Grell shut his diary, he would have to resume that activity later, he was sure he would have some free time in the morning; he was probably going to go to sleep after he ate. Standing up to take Sebastian's hand, the shinigami stumbled as he felt that nauseous feeling creep over him again. Once he had stood with Sebastian's help, he put his diary and fountain pen back away in his jacket pocket, and looked at Sebastian, feeling a bit worn out. He was glad that Sebastian had cooked him something – the shinigami was looking forward to it, having not eaten in a while. The demon took hold of Grell's good wrist, escorting him down the steps.

The scarlet shinigami was depending mostly on Sebastian for support as he walked down the steps, he wasn't sure he would have been able to stand very long on his own. The pace of his breath became more like a soft pant the longer he stood, while his heart began to beat more rapidly. He staggered a bit when Sebastian stopped halfway across the main room. Why had he stopped? Grell almost lost his balance after Sebastian let go of his wrist. The demon set down his candle, while taking off his thick coat. "Even with a fever, it isn't wise for you to be in this cold wearing only silk." Grell hadn't even realised how cold it was until Sebastian brought it up, he had been so focused on keeping his concentration so that he wouldn't trip – that would have caused Sebastian to fall too, and he probably wouldn't have been very happy.

Sebastian placed his thick, wool coat over Grell's trembling shoulders. It was much warmer with it on, as well as it already being a comfy piece of fabric. A quiver of warmth surfed through him for a moment, and he could feel Sebastian's previous body heat being absorbed by Grell's endothermic reaction. Sebastian's actions were caring, but his tone didn't seem as concerned, it would be too confusing to try and understand what he was feeling when he did that.

Sebastian took hold of Grell's good wrist again, continuing to escort the shinigami through the room and into the dining hall, where Grell suspected Sebastian had prepared his meal. He was astonished by his surroundings, as he observed the room he had just entered. Even when he was disguised as the Barnett family butler - and visited the Phantomhive Manor occasionally, he had never been in the dining room before. Even if he had, he didn't remember it being as extraordinary. This feeling was quickly replaced by that awkward feeling he had earlier this evening, as he was set down in a stunning chair and poured a glass of wine. Grell hadn't had wine in a long time, he didn't have the money for such luxuries as he spent portions of it on the things he needed for survival and the rest on cosmetics and clothing, or whatever else he felt tempted to buy at the time, like the Madame Missy doll, though he wasn't sure where she was now.

The most awkward part of it all was when Sebastian lifted up the superbly crafted bowl full of the rich stew he had put much effort into making just for him – holding the matching spoon in front of his mouth. Grell blushed, was Sebastian really going to spoon-feed him? It reminded him a lot of that dream he had earlier in the warehouse. But he couldn't reject, the shinigami was _so_ hungry.


	22. Chapter 22

Sebastian gently inserted the spoon into Grell's mouth, he noticed that Grell was blushing, but he didn't care. This was a faster and more efficient way to feed him, the way things were now. Although the demon had never had an opportunity to do this before, he caught on quickly, although he may have been inserting the spoon too rapidly, resulting in Grell having to chew more quickly. Sebastian noticed this after the first few spoonfuls and lessened his pace, he didn't want Grell _choking._ (A human body was complex, there were too many ways for it to fail, and yet the human mind wasn't complex at all for intellectual purposes, it was also only complex in the ways it could fail. Sebastian knew that he couldn't choke on a soul and that he was more intelligent than any human, alive or dead). Sebastian's stew consisted mostly of vegetables, as they were easier to digest than meat, and it surprised him to see Grell eat every spoonful painlessly – he imagined the shinigami didn't eat very well – he imagined that his diet consisted mostly of sweet, un-nutritional (disgusting) puddings and pies.

Sebastian's spoon didn't touch the bottom of the bowl once, he was unsure of how humans managed that annoying tendency, when Ciel was eating he always heard his fork scrape against the plate or the spoon brush against the bowl, and it made an unsatisfactory sound that he could hardly endure. He set the half-full dish on the table, and lifted the wine-glass in one hand and Grell's chin in the other, and lightly lifting the shinigami's face he poured a small amount into his mouth. Sebastian had never tried alcohol before, as a demon it was impossible and as a servant it was forbidden (unless the master gave permission) but he did know that if humans consumed too much too suddenly than they could become ill. In small doses though, he heard it was healthy and enjoyable. Sebastian hadn't poured Grell very much either, he didn't want to be around a drunk Grell, so the glass was already a fourth empty when Sebastian set it down. Once Sebastian finished the stew, he smiled deviously; he had spent more time on the desert than anything else, because he imagined that Grell had a sweet-tooth.

"I was unsure whether I should provide you with a dessert as you are sick, but I imagined it may very well be good for you in your current condition. It has fat and sugar, which your body needs now. I have prepared a three-layer dark chocolate pudding with thick cream, dark chocolate shavings, and candied rose petals." It was in a small bowl which matched the set he had been using, and in his hand had a smaller spoon to serve him with, but it was large enough to hold a generous amount of chocolate and red rose petals. To feed Grell this beautifully-crafted desert somehow entertained Sebastian and he smiled the entire time, if it was only a small smile. When he was finished, he gave Grell some more wine, to wash away the thick aftertaste of the chocolate. Once the shinigami had finished the wine, Sebastian's smile grew wider across his face, and he ran a thumb along the line of his jaw. "Do you feel any better? Come with me, I will take you back to your room, dearest guest."

He led Grell in a similar fashion as before to his room, where he pulled back the curtains and opened the window after he had shut the door, and afterward sat beside him on the bed. He had produced in a mysterious manner an unattractive bottle and was unscrewing the lid. He took a small mouthful and hid the liquid beneath his tongue. Sebastian hid the bottle once more in his coat, it was fortunate that Grell hadn't noticed, and to mention the brilliant shinigami, Sebastian now ran his hand along his face with such passion that it could not have gone unnoticed. He brought his own face closer to Grell's, his eyes shut as he brushed his cheek against his, he took his lips with his own dry ones – and with a movement of his tongue – inserted the bitter medicine into Grell's mouth. He broke away afterward. He knew that for humans, swallowing was an instinct, so he was certain that Grell had taken in the unpleasant substance. If he hadn't been doubtful of whether Grell would take it willingly, he would not have done that, but that had not been how Sebastian had felt.

And before Grell could protest, or call him "scum of a man", Sebastian was at the door with the coat he had lent Grell over his shoulder. "I will be back in the space of a few hours, the medicine should make you drowsy, and so you should be sleeping when I return. I wish you sweet dreams, dearest guest." The kiss had been bittersweet, and had tasted of medicine, wine, and chocolate.

* * *

Grell was slowly dismissing the uncomfortable feeling he was experiencing as Sebastian continued to feed him, Sebastian's cooking was _sublime_, over the years of eating nothing but cheap lunch food, this meal was unlike anything Grell had ever consumed before. There was much more of it too, usually he could only afford small, unsatisfying meals. The shinigami spent most of his money on things he wanted over the things he needed. Also, it was pleasurable enough to be eating anything at all, since he had been delayed from eating for such a long period of time.

The pudding was especially appetizing, Sebastian spoon-feeding him this particular dish reminded him further of that odd dream he had had, since he had fed him something rather similar. Sebastian appeared to be receiving some kind of pleasure as he fed him, seeing the smirk apparent on his lips. The demon gave that look often enough for Grell to remember it, the smile had emerged a few times in their various encounters of each other, but those situations were much different from the one now – Grell was curious as to what he was thinking about.

Once the demon finished feeding Grell the pudding, his smile grew _wide -_ and a slender thumb ran along the shinigami's jaw line, what was Sebastian doing? Surely he didn't normally touch his guests like that, that didn't matter though, Grell liked the attention. Sebastian led Grell back to his guest bedroom the same way he had before, the shinigami was blushing as he walked with Sebastian, remembering the affection the demon had displayed for him earlier in the dining hall.

Reaching the bedroom, Sebastian pulled back the curtains and opened the window, sitting down beside Grell on the bed. Grell felt himself jump inwardly, watching Sebastian – what was he doing? The demon ran his gloved hand over the shinigami's face, it was an emotional and obvious touch – Grell felt himself give into the contact, he loved how that felt. His heart beating faster as Sebastian leaned his face towards his, their cheeks brushing, Sebastian began removing the coat he had placed on him earlier while kissing Grell. Confusion rushed into Grell, he could feel his heart against his chest as he warmed up. The flustered shinigami felt Sebastian insert his tongue, a strange, unpleasant taste coming with it. Ignoring the flavour, Grell melted into the kiss while kissing Sebastian back gently, almost desperately, in an unsure way – making it seem immature. His love for the demon pulsed through his heart. His chest ached and he felt tense, until the demon broke away. The scarlet shinigami let out a small, confused noise as Sebastian stood and walked to the door, the coat over his shoulder.

With a smile Sebastian informed him that he had just been given medicine. So that was what it was, it was all clear to Grell now. Sebastian had taken advantage of his weakness for the demon in order to give him some medicine. None of that had been real - and his first kiss with Sebastian and been a cruel trick. The shinigami's heart ached, as he watched Sebastian exit the room as if nothing had happened, loneliness swept over Grell as he felt sleepiness attack him. Lying down, he wished someone would hold him, watch him while he slept. The medicine was taking effect on the already exhausted shinigami. He didn't get under the covers; he just lay comfortably on top. Shutting his heavy lids, his braided hair fell over his shoulder - the parts that weren't pulled back were in his face. Grell fell asleep immediately, not even bothering to take his glasses off.


	23. Chapter 23

After Sebastian left Grell's room, he shut the door softly behind him and began his usual routine, but worked at a faster pace. He had less time to perform these duties and had to return to Grell after he was finished to make sure that he was comfortable and that his fever was under control. If he hadn't had so much work to do, he wouldn't have risked leaving at all. As he made his usual rounds through the house, securing every room and ensuring that everything was the best it could be.

He prepared Ciel's breakfast just as he had prepared Grell's, since it was a cold dish, he did not need to serve it immediately and he wouldn't have to worry about Bard obliterating the kitchen again. He decided that now that everything was secure and perfect, (or until the inhabitants woke and ruined it) he could return to Grell. He was concerned that if there was no one there to sponge him, as was the usual treatment for fevers, his temperature could become dangerous. The demon removed from his waistcoat a pocket-watch and glanced at the time. It was a reasonable 2:00 AM, he only had 6 more hours before it was his duty to wake the young master and the servants who were _meant_ to be awake two hours previously. He would normally have this time to himself, but not tonight.

He filled a small basin with ice and cold water to the brim; he also took an unused sponge from a drawer and placed it in the basin. He carried this without difficultly to Grell's bedroom, and entered silently. He set the basin on the bedside table, and Sebastian sat down lightly beside Grell. Sebastian was on Grell's left side and Grell's back was turned to him. Sebastian brushed the thick braid over his shoulder, away from his back from behind and also remove Grell's glasses from his face and set them on the table beside the basin. There was a reason for Sebastian feeding Grell a potent sleeping medicine; he had not wanted him to wake as he was dressing the bruises on his back.

He had not wanted to dress them while Grell was awake, he needed immediate attention issued to more important health concerns, which were his major wounds, bathing, changing, eating, and sleeping. It was still important though, to clean the skin if there was a possibility of breaks, to apply the proper medication, and to bandage his back. After he removed Grell's glasses and placed them on the bedside table, Sebastian felt himself waver excitedly as he untied Grell's robe and removed it entirely to reveal his abused body. There were ample, uneven bruises on his back in varying shades of blue, purple, and black. Sebastian inhaled sharply, his eyes losing their disguise in his excitement, as he skimmed his fingers along the _beautiful_ bruises on the skin that was once so colourless. He never knew that Grell could be so attractive; he was only so once before, beneath Sebastian's _boot._

Sebastian relished in particular, after he had swabbed Grell's back with the same hydrogen peroxide from before, when he was able to run his hands across the swollen surface of the skin with his bare hands, (he had removed his gloves) the only thing separating his skin from the other's was the powerful medicine he was applying. It was disappointing the treatment could not have lasted longer; the stainless, white bandages hid the brilliant array of colours from the demon's view. Sebastian thoroughly examined the rest of Grell's body for injuries, occasionally bandaging a small cut, but saw nothing that excited him as much as the bruises had. When he was finished, he removed his pocket-watch from his waistcoat and read the time.

Sebastian's pocket-watch read an averaged 4:00 AM; he had spent a little over two hours bandaging Grell. Sebastian positioned Grell on his back and removed the sponge from the basin of cold water he had brought with him to wipe it across Grell's forehead. He heard the shinigami moan in discomfort afterward. His features twitched, but the medicine was still sufficient enough in his bloodstream to keep him from waking, even though the demon rubbed the cold water across his entire body and face. After two hours passed, Grell's skin was cold to the touch, and he imagined that he would be alright for now. Sebastian dressed Grell once more in his red robe, and this time pulled the quilt over him. He stood to his feet; he was going to wake the idiot servants of this house at the time they were _supposed_ to be awake every morning. He was going to ask Mey-Rin to watch over Grell, and report to him if he needed anything (he was certainly not going to trust her with a death god), and he would ask Bard and Finny to do less important jobs while he was doing _theirs._

* * *

Mey-Rin had been woken up by Sebastian about an hour ago, and it was now about 8:00 AM, she had spent most of that hour preparing for the day, she had just finished putting up her hair as she thought nervously about Sebastian's request. He had ordered her to check on and watch over a guest that he had brought in last night. The demon hadn't told her anything about this guest and wouldn't answer her questions; she only managed to pick out that they were ill - and a male, because he had addressed them as a _he_ when he spoke. She was curious as to why the butler had brought him in, and was kind of worried about what they would be like. Since Sebastian had said that they were going to be here for a while, hopefully they weren't scary or attractive – those were the maid's weak points.

Grell's medicine had worn off recently, and his slumber had become very light, the shinigami had fallen asleep around 11:40, now that it was 8:00 he had gotten about the suggested amount of rest that he needed. Being on a rough time schedule, usually waking up an hour earlier so that he could begin his reaper duties, Grell felt well-rested. His sleeping–in time was disrupted by a nervous knock at his door, the shinigami felt himself waking up as he heard the door open, he wished whoever was entering would leave, why were they even in here at this hour? Mey-Rin approached the sleeping figure cautiously, being careful to try and not wake them.

The maid lifted her glasses to get a better view of the guest, was this really a _he_? Grell's fruitful appearance flabbergasted her, she was expecting to see someone a bit more commoner-like, but Sebastian was always full of surprises. Grell's vibrant red hair was still pulled back in a loose braid, far past the regulation length. Mey-Rin was astounded that someone so young could have such long hair; they looked to be in their early twenties. She knelt down in front of the shinigami, he had quite feminine features for a _he_, perhaps she had heard Sebastian wrong? The guest's hair was a similar shade to her own, it almost made her consider growing her own hair out – but what a pain such long hair probably was. Grell let out a small yawn, and since Mey-Rin had been close to the shinigami's face, she witnessed full view of his teeth.

The maid screamed at max volume, jumping backwards immediately after she saw the terrifying sight. Was it even _possible_ for a human to have teeth like that? This infuriating squeal had been right in Grell's ear, causing him to wake up entirely. His eyes shot open and the shinigami sat up, observing the room quickly to find the source of the noise. Through his blurred vision, he made out a terrified looking maid beside his bed; it could have been none other than Mey-Rin. Grell had met her about a year ago, when he visited the Phantomhive manor a few times as the Barnett family butler. He never actually got a chance to speak to her though, not that he cared. Grell sighed, putting his glasses on before speaking in a tired voice:

"Did I frighten you somehow?"

The timid little maid didn't know what to say, it would be incredibly rude to outwardly tell him that his unnatural teeth had scared her, she stood up shakily, bowing quickly.

"I-I'm sorry to have woken you, honoured guest. Is there a-anything you need?"

Grell felt a bit stiff, as if he were wearing tight clothing, but he knew well enough that he was wearing a loose robe. Removing the covers that had mysteriously been placed on him, he felt underneath his robe - a gauze wrap around his chest and back, among other bandages. Acknowledging this, Grell realised that _someone_ must have put these on. He felt a wave of embarrassment as he thought of the possibility of Sebastian seeing his body in its current state, which would not leave a good first impression. The shinigami remembered what he had seen the mirror before his bath last night; it had not been a pleasant sight. Grell turned his head toward Mey-Rin, who shrunk under his gaze.

"Do you know if Sebastian came in here last night, while I was sleeping?"

Mey-Rin blushed deeply at the mentioning of Sebastian, the maid had developed a crush on the butler during her time working for him these past few years. Placing her hands on her red cheeks, she shook her head rapidly back and forth before she spoke.

"S-Sebastian? I apologise, sir, I have no idea what Sebastian does during the late hours."

"Please, don't call me sir."

Grell said it bluntly, so that the foolish maid would understand, he imagined her being a bit slow. She nodded immediately, to confirm she understood. The shinigami felt frustrated at the way the missy was acting around him, what could be so frightening? Grell didn't do anything to her, and it was quite offensive. He noticed how she had reacted when he brought Sebastian up, perhaps she fancied him? Grell found this amusing.

"Are you fond of Sebastian?"

"U-Uh… Umm… No! I just-"

"Why don't you come tell me about it? Surely all of the men around here are unable to understand your girlish feelings, I, on the other hand, can relate quite well to a maiden's heart." Mey-Rin hesitated, a confused look on her face.

"I-I don't know if that's necessary… I'm just a mere servant after-"

"Come now, I don't bite." Grell interrupted, ironically while showing his teeth in a smile.

The shinigami scooted over, welcoming her some room beside him. He was quite lonely, and this girl probably was too, he felt he could relate to her possibly. Mey-Rin seated herself next to Grell, positioned on her knees. She looked down at her hands as she twiddled her fingers, blushing still.

"He's such a handsome man…" She started bluntly, in a quiet tone. "I didn't realise at first, but as time passed I was falling for him more and more each day. I was such a klutz; I still am, actually… Every time I tripped, he would catch me… He would always clean up after my mistakes, he does it so well, I don't think I've ever witnessed a time when he messed up. He's always so calm and clever, and always thinks of solutions for the problems the others and I cause." She looked away from her hands and straight ahead of her instead. "But this doesn't even come close to the way I feel for him, I don't know if I can describe it right!" She seemed a bit more flustered than before. "It's not like it matters… he doesn't-"

"He doesn't even notice you, he just sees you as an idiot, right?" Grell smiled as Mey-Rin sniffed, she looked on the verge of tears. This happens often when women try to express their love for someone that is rejecting them. "Yes… An idiot, an… an-" Mey-Rin let out a loud sob and threw herself at Grell, crying as her glasses lenses got wet with tears. Grell looked surprised, but held her anyway. He felt bad for the girl; she didn't have the slightest chance with Sebastian. He smiled sympathetically. "I understand, I think I can relate to your situation actually… I'm quite fond of Sebastian myself."

Grell had always gotten along well with girls, he felt comfortable around them, he seemed to understand their feelings, he had similar views to most women on things, actually. He twirled some of her hair – it looked a lot similar to his. He actually had a lot in common with Mey-Rin, they were both a klutz (though he didn't have it quite as bad) they both had red hair and glasses, they both loved Sebastian despite him thinking they're idiots, and they were both lonely, he imagined Mey-Rin would be quite lonely, surrounded by a bunch of men, never able to relate to anyone because no one shared feelings quite like hers.

"I wish there were more men like you! You're so kind and understanding, I'm sorry that I misjudged you earlier, you're actually quite a nice person." Grell laughed to himself, _kind_ and_ nice_ weren't usually words directed towards him. The shinigami was glad that he could comfort the girl though, he remembered how he felt when he was lonely and misunderstood, but there was no one to comfort him. Mey-Rin had stopped crying by now, having released all her stress. She sat up and smiled at him.

"Can I play with your hair? It's so long!"

Grell never got to do such girly activities before; he thought it sounded kind of fun.

"Sure."


	24. Chapter 24

Ciel waited impatiently for Sebastian to return with his breakfast, he had asked to have the food brought to him in his study. He sipped his Earl Grey as his thoughts travelled of their own accord. He remembered yesterday, when Sebastian had left to rescue Grell from an opposing demon and Ciel had been with his aunt (who was also his fiancé's mother) the entire day. She was not a pleasant woman to be around and couldn't do anything as well as Sebastian could. Ciel wouldn't tell Sebastian that he had missed him terribly, he would only find it amusing, as a demon he couldn't comprehend the love Ciel felt for him. The young boy stirred his tea unnecessarily with his biscotti; Ciel had especially ordered Sebastian to import the Italian cookies for him, the tea had the right amount of cream and sugar and both were already stirred in well enough for further mixing to be unnecessary.

Ciel's chair had the ability to be turned in any direction and the young boy wanted to face the window, but his legs were too short to touch the floor, so he couldn't use his feet. He was intelligent enough though, to use his desk to push him the other way, so he could look out the wide windows behind his desk. From this room, he had a spectacular view of the yard below and he saw Bard and Finny playing in the snow with Pluto, and Tanaka supervising. He imagined that Sebastian was doing their work while they were enjoying themselves. It made Ciel angry. Bard, Finny, and Mey-Rin never did anything useful and only caused problems for Sebastian but the demon insisted on keeping them here. He imagined that there may have been something Sebastian was keeping from him about the trio. He hoped that one day he would know what he was paying them for.

There was a light rapping at the door and Ciel answered, "If it is you, Sebastian, enter." Sebastian did not reply, but entered silently with his cart, and placed Ciel's breakfast on the table before him. It consisted of a parfait of fruits and nuts and a poppy-seed cake with a generous topping of cream and berries from the garden, and two fried eggs and two sausage links still steaming. The black butler bowed, and was heading for the door when Ciel called after him, "Sebastian… I haven't seen you since the day before yesterday. Would you stay with me?" Sebastian paused, and smiled at Ciel, "If that is your wish, my lord." Sebastian stood by Ciel's side as he ate very carefully, still though, his utensils touched the plates and bowls. "Did you find Grell?" Ciel asked, without looking at Sebastian. "I was ordered to save him from the demon, so of course I did." Sebastian paused, before continuing, "I hope that this does not bother you, my lord, but Grell was not well enough to return to the Ministry of Hades. I have temporarily placed him in a guest room, and have been tending to him, is this acceptable?"

Ciel paused, the fork half-way to his mouth, before he spoke. "If I don't have to see him, I will let you keep him here _temporarily,_ when he is well enough though I will expect him to contribute to this household until he leaves." Sebastian bowed and placed his hand on his shoulder. "I will inform him, my lord."

Sebastian left Ciel's room with his cart; he escorted the young master's used dishes to the kitchen where he washed them quickly, and loaded Grell's breakfast onto the cart. It was the same as what he had made for the young master, it would be too much work to think of something entirely different, so he didn't. The servants (including himself, he had to maintain this human body somehow) usually ate an hour or two later after the master and guests. He brought the cart up the stairs and knocked on Grell's door, he heard suspicious giggling coming from the inside. It sounded like Grell – and Mey-Rin? What were those two doing? He realised that Mey-Rin hadn't reported to him yet, she must have been with Grell this entire time.

He entered the room with the cart and smelt a heavy air of perfume, he coughed lightly and entered the room further to try and see past the scented mist. He saw Grell sitting and filling his nails, while Mey-Rin was on her knees behind him and was curling his hair, they hadn't seemed to notice Sebastian enter over their own, loud voices and laughter. Grell though, when he laughed, would usually erupt into violent coughing. "Mey-Rin! Grell! What are you _doing? _Mey-Rin, you'll light his hair with that flame, and Grell, you're sick and are supposed to be resting!" Sebastian didn't raise his voice, but he did have an air of urgency as he spoke. He left the cart behind and immediately took up the curling rod, setting it on the bedside table far away from Grell's hair. He also began to pick up the cosmetics that were scattered across the quilt, and was setting them on the bedside table also. He appeared very huffy and oblivious to their loud complaining.

Once he had secured the bedroom and opened all of the windows wide to let actual _air _in he seemed to calm down. "Grell, I have your breakfast ready. If you're feeling well enough to be participating in such activities, then I will expect you to eat _all_ of it." Sebastian set down Grell's breakfast on a small bed-trey in front of him; Sebastian also sat down in front of Grell and began feeding him, once again, perhaps too quickly. He turned to Mey-Rin while this was happening. "I also brought your breakfast, Mey-Rin, there were some leftovers after I made the young master's and our guest's, so you can have that." It may not have sounded very kind, but for a servant, the master's and guest's leftovers were far better than their own food. He looked back at Grell, and noticed he had accidently stuffed his face and that Grell was chewing frantically to swallow before the fork came again. Sebastian paused and inhaled deeply, before waiting for Grell to finish and continuing at a slower pace. "Thank you, Mey-Rin, for keeping him company. I hope you will continue to if he wishes."

* * *

Mey-Rin had brought over everything she could carry from her own personal collection of cosmetics, Grell was looking over them, he actually had quite a large collection himself – it was one of the things he enjoyed spending his money on other than clothes and shoes. He was quite impressed with it, considering she hadn't been alive very long. Grell's collection contained things that weren't even sold in stores anymore, things he had bought a long time ago when they were popular, among other lotions, soaps, perfumes, and make-up. Grell smirked as he lifted a peculiar looking ointment to smell it; it was definitely what he had suspected. The shinigami had a copy of it himself, this balm was _magic, _it made skin feel like velvet, appear smooth and evenly toned, perhaps even a soft glow. Not to mention the pleasant, light smell that it carried, Grell usually applied this regularly, he was surprised that Mey-Rin had it – he didn't expect she was so devoted.

"Would you mind if I used some of this?" Grell didn't have hardly _any_ of his cosmetics with him, just the few that he carried in his coat. How was he going to primp while he was here? Mey-Rin peeked over to see what it was.

"Oh, that … I almost forgot I had it! I rarely use it, there isn't really a point, considering I'm covered head to toe in this uniform." She indicated to her clothing by looking down at her dress, smoothing out one of the wrinkles. Grell turned to face her, smirking as he poured a small portion of the substance into his hand, poking her face with the ointment.

"So what? Don't you just like feeling pretty, knowing underneath all that material is a glamorous body?" Grell spoke playfully, giggling while she blushed and wiped at her cheek.

"I-I don't know… It doesn't seem-"

"You never know… What if one day _Sebastian_ gets to see? How embarrassing it would be if you didn't look your best!" Mey-Rin's face blushed a deep red as she let out a squeal.

"S-Stop it! You're embarrassing me!" Grell's smirk widened at the maid's amusing reaction.

"Oh, but I'm sure you've thought about it before…"

Mey-Rin let out a startled yelp as she grabbed the nearest pillow and began to hit Grell over the head with it, repeating this action in various places – her nose bleeding lightly. Grell squeaked, a surprised look on his face, attempting to dodge the attacks. He took hold of another pillow (there were many on the bed), whacking her with it, both of them laughing and screaming as they fought playfully with the cushions. Mey-Rin was winning the battle; she had gotten a head start – as well as more inspiration.

"Fine, fine, I'll _stop!_" The shinigami screamed while laughing, he was extremely ticklish and didn't know how much more he could stand. Mey-Rin spared him, grinning triumphantly as she panted, exhausted from the battle. Grell's sensitive skin tingled as he smiled, that had been pleasurable, he rarely had moments when he laughed so much. Mey-Rin wiped her nose before picked up the precious ointment that had been left abandoned on the bed, handing it to Grell.

"If you like this so much, you can have it." She said while smiling, "I don't need it; and you would probably make better use of it than I would." Mey-Rin had taken a liking to him; she wanted him to have it, it would be fun to have someone she could relate to as a play-mate, she hoped they could become friends.

Grell smiled, it was truly a look of happiness. The shinigami couldn't even remember the last time he received a gift from someone; he took the bottle with joy, giggling as he shut his eyes to complete his smile.

"This is really sweet, thank you."

Mey-Rin gasped, he had such a pretty smile! She felt happy with herself, he had appeared so sad when she first came in here to check on him.

"You're welcome." She laughed while gathering the cosmetics around her – they had become a bit scattered from their pillow-fight. She looked back up at Grell, holding her curling iron. "Shall I continue with your hair, like we originally planned? It's a bit of a mess now, but you would look so lovely with curls!" The maid was excited; she was looking forward to playing with his lush, long hair.

"Of course, I would like that." Grell turned around, placing his gift from Mey-Rin on the bedside table; he would apply it later, now wasn't the best time since she was going to be curling his hair. Mey-Rin began releasing his long hair from the braid after unfastening the hair-ribbon. Afterwards, switching the flame on to heat up the metal.

"While this is heating up, you should really smell this!" Mey-Rin indicated to her favourite perfume bottle. She picked it up, spraying it in the air so that Grell could smell it. It had a tangy floral scent, like lemongrass.

The two sprayed the various perfumes in the air, sniffing each one of them, giggling as they played around with fragrances. The room quickly began to fill up with a variety of smells, misting the area slightly. Mey-Rin was applying some gel in Grell's hair before she began curling parts of it, the rod should have been heated up by now. As Mey-Rin curled Grell's hair, the shinigami decided his nails could look superior, thinking this would be a good time to improve them; he worked with the several tools the maid possessed in his quest for perfection. This continued on for a little while, as they talked and giggled about girlish subjects, until a stressed, perhaps concerned voice interrupted.

Both of them looked over in the direction of the sudden noise, it was obviously an unhappy Sebastian. Mey-Rin screamed as Sebastian approached them, taking up the curling iron and all of the other cosmetics present of the bed, placing them on the bedside table. Afterwards he opened the second of two windows in the room wide and the first window that was open from before even wider. As a fresh breeze blew in they didn't even realise how much perfume was in the air! Sebastian focused his attention on Grell and told him that his breakfast was ready now that his rampage had ended.

As Sebastian sat down on the bed he began to feed the scarlet shinigami – Mey-Rin felt confused. Did Sebastian just address their guest as _Grell_? That name sounded very familiar, she was certain she knew someone with that name, and now that she thought about it, the guest looked quite familiar too. But before she could put her finger on it, Sebastian interrupted her thoughts by informing her that he brought her breakfast too. Mey-Rin nodded, turning her attention to Grell, who was desperately trying to keep up with Sebastian's feeding pace. She studied his features, when she suddenly remembered! Grell, was Madame Red's butler, but what on _earth_ happened to him? She could recognise him, but his hair, and his _teeth_ were dramatically different! But before she could speak, Sebastian interrupted again with a thank you.

Grell was _relieved_ that Sebastian had slowed down, usually the butler did everything so flawlessly, but it was very clear that he had no experience in feeding people – not that he blamed him, who was experienced in _that_? Grell was watching the fork cautiously as Sebastian brought it towards him, to make sure he was prepared for it. Once it reached him, Grell opened his mouth, trapping the utensil. After it was removed, the shinigami focused on chewing, doing it somewhat quickly in case Sebastian sped up again. As he was doing this, he noticed Mey-Rin was staring at him; it was kind of uncomfortable to be stared at while Sebastian was feeding him. Mey-Rin's features were trembling, until she burst out something entirely randomly.

"Grell! Is that _really_ you? What happened, you look so different! It's been so long since you visited here, why are you here now?" Grell wasn't sure how to reply -but even if he did think of something convincing to say, he couldn't exactly speak right now, since Sebastian was feeding him. Mey-Rin seemed to realise this, - turning towards Sebastian instead, she was so confused, what was going on? "Sir Sebastian, why did you bring Grell here?"


	25. Chapter 25

Sebastian did not hesitate to reply, he was aware that the servants of the manor may recognise Grell and had already decided what he would tell them. "It was the summer of this year that you last saw Grell, as you are aware, he was Madame Red's butler. Before the Madame's death, both of them were involved in unfavourable activities that would require Grell to take on a disguise, he was never truly her butler. After the Madame's death, I became aware of his true appearance and personality, and have met with him occasionally. You did not participate in the play, Mey-Rin, but you may remember him as "Ophelia" from the night the young master and his friends performed "Hamlet". I encountered him three days ago (including today) while buying medicine for the young master and because of my own incompetence, he was seriously injured and was almost killed." Sebastian did not look at Mey-Rin as he spoke; instead he looked impassively at Grell, as though he wasn't there and was able to see through him.

Once Grell was finished, Sebastian dabbed at his mouth with a cloth napkin, and set it on the trey which he set on the floor beside the bed to clear later. He took Grell's right hand and lifted the silk sleeve to reveal the cast and flawless white skin. Sebastian ran the tips of his fingers across the top of Grell's cast, applying light pressure, testing for firmness and endurance. "I may not be a trained medic, but I imagine that your bandages will need to be changed daily, even the ones underneath your robe. I imagine that if I were to change them before you went to sleep every night, that would be equivalent to a day." Sebastian lowered Grell's sleeve but continued to hold his hand, he lifted his eyes from Grell's bandaged appendage and looked into his eyes. "I do not believe that I ever apologised for endangering you, only for not securing you sooner. I should have taken you back to the Ministry that night. I apologise profoundly and with sincerity."

Sebastian brushed a lock of curled hair behind Grell's ear; he looked more effeminate than Sebastian had seen him since the night of the play when he had worn a dress. Sebastian let go of Grell's slender hand and lifted the trey from the floor where he had left it. He set it on the cart and began to pour Grell a cup of tea. "Do you drink tea, Grell? I previously made Earl Grey." Sebastian had the teacup clasped in both hands, as he turned away from the cart with his most pleasant smile. "I am not sure that you need it, you are so high-strung, but it is a morning ritual in this house for the young master and guests. Do you like sugar and cream, or would you prefer black?"

* * *

Grell listened carefully to Sebastian's response to Mey-Rin's question; it was fascinating how he managed to sound it so convincingly - without lies. Grell wasn't sure if he would have been able to say it any better. Sebastian fed him the last ration of his breakfast right as he finished speaking – afterwards wiping his mouth with a napkin. If Grell's right wrist hadn't been broken, he would have been able to feed himself, but the shinigami had become quite helpless after the incident with that demon - who seemed to have extreme hatred towards anything anthropic. Sebastian took hold of Grell's bad hand, lifting up his sleeve to examine his cast. Grell watched him as he ran his long fingers across the cast, testing its firmness. As he was doing this he explained to Grell that the bandages would need to be changed regularly and that the best time might be before he slept.

It sounded reasonable, but the true meaning was that Sebastian was going to come into his room at night and strip him to near nudity, in order to remove and replace his bandages. Mey-Rin must have noticed this too, as she was covering her nose again. Grell blushed _intensely_ as he realised that Sebastian had already done this last night while he had been sleeping. The shinigami looked away from Sebastian - out of embarrassment, but the demon mysteriously managed to look into his eyes as he spoke again. Sebastian was still holding his hand, as he tucked one of Grell's curls behind his ear. Grell felt himself tremble slightly at the contact, Sebastian was melting him! How did the demon manage to affect him so much?

Suddenly, Sebastian released his hand. Grell looked back at him curiously to see what he was going to do next. The demon lifted the trey off the floor where he had left it, pouring a cup of tea. Sebastian had the teacup held in both of his hands, probably to secure that he didn't drop it, as he asked how Grell would like his tea. Grell was quite fond of bitter, salty, or mild provisions, but when it came to tea or coffee – it had to be sweet. Though the shinigami did enjoy sweet things as well, sometimes he would have random cravings where he just _had_ to have something sweet. He remembered complaining to William about it a few times before, and he said he was "going through a phase of mental confusion" – _what he meant by that_, Grell would never know. He also remembered taking William's coffee mug once, it was his first time trying coffee and since William drank it every morning he was curious what was so special about it. But it had been so _unbelievably_ black that black coffee had been ruined for him every since.

"Thanks, I'd prefer it sweetish." Grell smiled – kind of awkwardly. It was strange (now that he thought about it again) the way Sebastian was treating him; it felt odd being served, because Grell was used to doing everything himself. The shinigami brought his left fingertips to his lips, his smile fading as his mouth parted slightly, feeling the glossy balm make contact with his skin. He had just confirmed an order to Sebastian, Sebastian was _serving_ him; it was weird but wonderful…

Mey-Rin was _envious_ of Grell; Sebastian was showing such affection for him! (At least it appeared that way.) She wished that he would feed her, and hold her hand, even _gaze_ at her the way he did to Grell. But she was just a mere maid, a terrible one at that. Even if she wasn't receiving the attention, it was quite entertaining to watch Sebastian give it to Grell, it pleased her strange mind. She watched secretly as she twiddled her fingers, sitting cautiously in case Sebastian ordered her to do something.


	26. Chapter 26

The tea was still steaming as Sebastian poured it into a fragile, china teacup and added two teaspoons of sugar and a tablespoon of cream. He stirred the liquid with the tablespoon from before, the spoon never touching the sides or bottom of the cup, until it was a light brown. Sebastian frowned as he realised the tea may be too hot for Grell; (although it was just the right temperate for him) he sipped it lightly and tried to imagine what the ideal temperature would be. He decided that even if he knew the right temperature, he would be unable to adjust it to that degree, and so instead placed the cup on a tea saucer and set it on the bedside table. "I believe that the tea is too hot for you, so I would suggest waiting a short while until it has cooled." Sebastian looked outside through the snow-boarded window into the early, grey February sky, and actually desired a cup of tea (black, of course) himself.

When Sebastian looked back to his cart, he saw that Mey-Rin had taken and was eating her breakfast in a gloomy fashion; he was curious why she was acting that way. Sebastian poured two more cups of tea, one black and one sweetened, and sat down beside Mey-Rin to hand her the sweeter of the two. "Be cheery, Mey-Rin, you may not be outside in the snow with Bard and Finny but you are inside where it is warm. I may be dull and Grell may be ill, but three is company, after all." Sebastian smiled again, and sipped his own tea, not seeming to notice that the liquid was still too hot to drink. This was curious, Sebastian decided, as he thought it over carefully. If he were in his true form then this scene would be impossible – he would be unable to drink the tea and he would be alone – as he always was and always would be - as his true self. It was a despairing thought, but it was true, the only thing more pitiful was the desire for companionship that had inspired the idea.

So Sebastian drank his tea in-between happiness and hopelessness, when unexpectedly Finny entered the room, laughing and trailing snow and mud as he entered. "Sebastian, Sebastian!" Finny shouted playfully, "I tried to stop him – but he wouldn't listen – Sebastian sir, Bard brought his snow-person into the house! He said he was going to place it in the kitchen, with a mop and pail, and dress it in your clothes, sir!" Sebastian paused and looked at Finny contemplatively, as if he was unsure how to respond to what he had said. He let out a sigh as Finny continued to smile and giggle sincerely. "He should know that my clothes won't fit the round body of a snow-person, and more importantly that taking in his snow-person will make a mess that _I_ will have to clean!" Sebastian set his tea, which he hadn't finished (and wouldn't have time to now) on his cart and was about to exit with it when he stepped in a small pile of snow and mud. "Finny! Why didn't you take your shoes off before you came inside?" Sebastian quickly looked out into the hallway and stared in horror as he saw that Finny had left a trail behind. Finny looked very flustered as he spoke, "Well, Sebastian sir, I didn't realise that if I left my shoes on it would make a mess!"

Sebastian didn't hear him, though; a shroud of gloom had separated him from the world outside. To clean the snow-person and the trail (of snow, mud, grass, leaves, and much more) that the _idiot_ servants had left for him would take hours! Sebastian left the room with his cart and instructions. "Grell, when you're finished with your tea pull the chain to summon me to take it away, or give to Mey-Rin, who will take yours and her own to the kitchen if she is still here." Finny followed after Sebastian with a concerned expression, as though he were uncomfortable.

* * *

"I-I'm so sorry, Grell! I'll begin cleaning up your floor immediately!" Mey-Rin yelled as she ran quickly out of his room to go fetch some cleaning supplies – dropping her tea onto his bed in the process. Grell gasped and quickly picked up the teacup before too much of it could spill, but most of it had already left the cup– probably staining the covers. Grell sighed, why did Finny have to come in here and make Sebastian _and_ Mey-Rin leave? The shinigami ran his fingertips over the tea stain, afterwards setting Mey-Rin's mostly empty teacup on the overcrowded bedside table. There was a slight clack noise as the teacup made contact with Grell's, noticing this, he realised that it probably wasn't too hot anymore.

Grell picked up his tea, bringing it to his lips – as the tea journeyed its way into Grell's mouth he felt a sting of displeasure. He quickly pulled the cup away, whining as stuck his tongue out. Why was it still hot? It was tolerable to drink, but not pleasant – the shinigami hadn't been expecting it. He wondered how hot this had been originally, remembering Sebastian sipping his tea without pain. Since it was still unpleasant for him to drink - the shinigami must have had a sensitive tongue.

Setting his tea aside, he decided to go wash his face while he waited for it to cool. As he stood up though, he felt that nauseating feeling overcome him again. It had only been slight when he was sitting down, but it became much more obvious when he tried supporting himself. The shinigami walked quickly into the bathroom, leaning against the counter for support; climbing onto it shortly afterward, seating himself on the edge to let his legs dangle. He turned his head just enough to where he could see his face reflecting in the mirror. He was looking a little better after he had gotten some proper rest, but he still looked sick and exhausted. Grell sighed and twirled one of his curls with his index finger on his bad hand, setting his other hand on the countertop, causing his weight to shift to the left. Suddenly he felt a sharp sting in his hand, and the shinigami shrieked out in pain.

Immediately he pulled his hand up, looking to see what had happened. Whimpering, Grell noticed that he had pressured and cut his hand on a piece of glass from his hand mirror. He remembered picking up the shards and placing them in the frame of the mirror, leaving it on the counter. How could he have been so stupid not to notice it when he was climbing on? The cut wasn't very deep, but it was bleeding a lot – and quickly. The blood was trickling down his arm as Grell lowered himself from the counter, grabbing some toilet paper to hold against it.

The shinigami heard a knock at the door. "Excuse me, Grell, are you in there?" Mey-Rin had just returned to Grell's room so she could proceed in cleaning up the mess Finny had left behind. She noticed that he wasn't there, so figuring he was in the bathroom, she decided to knock first.

Grell opened the door with his left hand, not wanting to touch anything with his now bleeding right. "Mey-Rin, do you know where the bandages are? I cut my hand on a piece of glass." The shinigami said in a teary voice, he whimpered in pain as he felt the delicate paper become soft and turn a deep red colour. The maid screamed and ran over to the pull chain to summon Sebastian, she didn't know if she could handle it herself. Grell leaned on the border of the door for support, slowly sinking to the floor, why did it have to be so hard to stand? He knew Sebastian was busy, and wished that Mey-Rin could have just told him where the bandages were, he knew that Sebastian probably wouldn't be very happy having more work to do. Mey-Rin ran over to him, "G-Grell, are you alright? Where did the glass come from? Did you break something?"

"I broke my hand mirror last night…"

"You should have told someone! It could have been taken care of."

"I didn't want to throw it out." The shinigami had grown attached to that mirror, since he had been using it for so long, he couldn't accept that he had broken it. Mey-Rin, not sure what to do, sat beside him, waiting eagerly for Sebastian. She usually lost all logic when it came to things like this and probably would just make it worse if she tried anything.


	27. Chapter 27

AN: I have corrected our previous chapters so that Sebastain is more in character than he was before. I doubt that my readers will go back to re-read them, but if you want to then there are new paragraphs (or less paragraphs) than before. - Madame Stephanie

* * *

Sebastian threw the snow-person through the front doors, with his inhuman strength it went half-way across the yard before landing and collapsing on itself. He wiped his hands on the apron he had put on; it may have looked _ridiculous,_ but it was useful for cleaning – it protected his suit from becoming dirty and could hold supplies. He sighed, brushing a few strands of dark hair from his face. He had told Bard to dry the water on the kitchen floor and tidy anything else that the snow-person had left behind, of course it was his responsibility to clean the mess that Finny had made, which required more accountability than any of the servants had. Before he started, Sebastian decided that he would put his sopping coat with the other clothes that needed washing. Bard hadn't been able to fit the snow-person into most of his clothing, but he had buttoned one of his coats over its wet body and had possibly ruined it, Sebastian had wanted to try to save it though.

He carried the coat downstairs to the basement, where the servant quarters, storage rooms, and the laundry room were located and hung it on a rope clothesline with two clips to dry. He was about to leave when a bell rung loudly and suddenly in the room. He turned his head sharply to look behind him and saw that the bell for the guestroom Grell was in had rung. In the Phantomhive manor and in many other manors across England there was a system of bells similar to this. The chain that was in every bedroom and bathroom was connected to one bell in every area where a servant may be, there was more than one bell, there was a bell for every room in the house where the master or guest may be so that the servant would know where to go. Sebastian let out a loud sigh that may have been a quiet moan and covered his face with his hand. What could Grell want _now?_ He had hardly left the room and he was already calling him. Hadn't the shinigami realised that he was very busy with the mess that Finny had made?

Sebastian knew though that he couldn't ignore a guest, so he recovered and made his way up three flights of stairs (the basement stairs and the two sets of stairs leading to the second floor) and entered Grell's room without any outward sign of exhaustion. Before he saw anything, he smelt blood, Grell's blood. His eyes followed the scent to its source and saw Grell slumped against the border of the bathroom door and Mey-Rin beside him going through breathing exercises. Sebastian approached them, the scent becoming nauseatingly strong, it may have been heavy – but it was pleasant – he paused before both of them and concentrated on the coppery smell. It was faint; Sebastian hadn't noticed it when Grell had been bleeding lightly, but there was enough to smell that Grell may have been a human ancestor of a _demon._ The seconds passed, and Sebastian stared at Grell in a way he never had before, with such thorough examination of his physical appearance that he may as well have been dissecting him and inspecting his parts individually. Why hadn't he noticed it before? Grell's teeth, they were the teeth of a demon, it was impossible for a human to have teeth like that. It may have been a long time ago, but it was _there._ Sebastian could even recognise the demon that Grell was descended from. Sebastian was curious how that demon would react if he knew that he had the results of an entire human bloodline before the feet of the demon of England (that would of course end with Grell, as he would never have children of his own, no matter how badly he wanted too).

The black butler broke from his trance when he remembered that this realisation had come to him because Grell was bleeding and needed attention. Sebastian knelt beside him and whispered reassuringly, "Let me see." Sebastian took Grell's bloody wrist in his hand and unfurled his fingers to reveal the ruined toilet paper and the cut that was still bleeding furiously. Sebastian made a sound of disapproval and taking the bloodied toilet paper, let go of Grell's wrist so that he could stand. From a nearby cabinet he removed a hand-towel and tied it tightly around the cut. "I used the last of the manor's bandages last night when I was tending to your back. I had originally planned to leave for the store after I finished cleaning to buy more, but I will have to now, it seems. Mey-Rin, stay with Grell until I return, Grell, pressure that towel against the cut. It is not very deep, but it is bleeding quickly enough to be acknowledged." Sebastian turned to leave, but hesitated, and turned his head back to look Grell in the eyes. "It is surprising to see you cry over a small cut; after all you are capable of, Grell." Sebastian knelt back down to wipe at an escaped tear. Grell wasn't crying, but it was close enough for Sebastian. He left for the bathroom when he was finished, walking quickly, and still in his apron.

* * *

It hadn't taken very long for Sebastian to arrive, the demon stood before the shinigami now, observing him with such contemplation that it was mildly uncomfortable. Grell looked back up at him helplessly and teary-eyed, he wasn't sad, but he felt awful. He was fatigued from sickness, the feeling growing as he slowly lost blood; while the bruises on his back were aching because of the contact with the door's border. But what hurt the most was the sting from his cut as it bled incessantly. Grell was curious about what Sebastian could be thinking as he stared at him, as he was staring back dependently as he waited for his touch.

Sebastian knelt beside him, the shinigami's head followed Sebastian's as he lowered himself, looking at him for a few moments until returning his gaze to his hand – which was sitting in his lap. "Let me see." Grell whimpered as the demon gently took his delicate wrist, straightening out his hand to better view the cut. Afterwards, he removed the toilet paper and retrieved a hand towel from a cabinet nearby, wrapping it tightly around the cut to keep it from bleeding further. Sebastian began to explain their lack of bandages, making it clear that he was going to leave now to go buy some, he also gave orders to both of them. Mey-Rin jumped and squealed at the mentioning of her name, immediately breaking from her concentration to stay calm and not freak out.

"Y-Yes sir!"

Grell simply nodded as he watched Sebastian stand up and turn around to leave, but he didn't, he stood there for a few seconds before turning again to look him in the eyes. Sebastian referenced that Grell was capable of a lot - and that it was surprising to see him cry over a cut - even though Grell wasn't crying! Sebastian knelt down in front of him, wiping at a tear that had just escaped his eyelash. Grell returned the gaze, their eyes locking for a moment before he stood up again. The moment seemed to stretch, almost as if it were in slow-motion, until the demon left the room. The shinigami stared at the door Sebastian had just shut behind him; he almost wished that he had stayed longer, despite his injury.

Mey-Rin had been observing the scene that had just happened, trying to stay quiet and not blurt out something completely unnecessary as she watched. She had expected Sebastian to be angry and frustrated with her and Grell; she actually thought that he had been when he was staring at Grell that strange way earlier. But instead, he was calm and collected throughout the whole situation. She wondered what terms these two were on, as she noticed Grell staring at the door gloomily.

"Grell?" Mey-Rin had asked as an attempt to get his attention. The shinigami looked away from the door, focusing on the maid now, speaking in a soft tone.

"Yes, Mey-Rin?" Mey-Rin looked away slightly, pushing both her index fingers together nervously.

"Oh, uh... Just forget it, never mind." She was going to ask him what his relationship with Sebastian was, but she thought that would be rude, and slightly embarrassing. Grell didn't reply, he just looked away from her; his mind was stuck on Sebastian.


	28. Chapter 28

Before he left the manor, Sebastian removed his white apron, and hung it on the rack by the door that was originally intended to hold coats and hats. He would never have left the house while he was wearing it, especially since it was originally Mey-Rin's and was obviously made for a woman. Once Sebastian had opened the front doors to leave, a strong draft of icy air blew past him that Sebastian would have explained as having felt that it had passed through his clothing as if it weren't there to bite at his skin. He didn't hesitate, though, he walked down the frozen stone path (which Finny had recently finished shovelling snow off of) and beyond that to the snowy streets of London town.

Sebastian knew that the doctor's had closed, the doctor and his servant were dead, killed in their own business in a mysterious fashion. As Sebastian made his way to the general store, he heard snippets of conversation, and the topics were all gossip concerning their deaths. The aristocrats of high-society London had created a number of ludicrous theories concerning the murder, the only reasonable gossip he heard was that the murderer couldn't have been human; the deaths had been too vicious to be done by a man. For a human, that would have been the presumption least-likely to be believed, but Sebastian knew otherwise as he had met with the killer.

The killer was dead now, so to see the members of Scotland Yard inspecting the area and shooting him suspicious glances was entirely unnecessary. It would have been impossible for them to know though, so when they finally decided to give up, the case would be recorded that it was never solved even though it was only yesterday afternoon. Sebastian entered the general store without difficulty and looked through the medical isle for gauze. It was of course in stock, but there was not as much as Sebastian would have liked. This, though, would have to do for now. He paid for the bandages quickly (with his own pocket money, once again, as he knew that Ciel wouldn't have paid for anything that Grell would use) and would have left even more quickly if the cashier hadn't inquired on his purchase.

"What are you planning to do with all of those bandages, sir? Is it possible that you're a replacement for our deceased doctor?" Sebastian smiled pleasantly and answered, "No, I am only a butler, I serve the Phantomhive family. A – guest – has been injured and needs attention. If you would excuse me -" Sebastian had hesitated when he mentioned Grell, for a short time he had been unsure of how he should refer to him, he decided that 'guest' was an unbiased decision. Sebastian left the store and retraced his steps to the Phantomhive manor. He entered through the front doors and descended the stairs to the basement so he could retrieve something from his room that he had left there before he went to rescue Grell. Sebastian afterward climbed the stairs, while he was climbing he saw the mess that Finny had made was as apparent as ever, he needed to attend to that immediately after he had finished with Grell – if the young master saw he would be very unhappy.

The black butler entered the room, the smell of the blood was different now, it had once been fresh and strong and now it was old and weak, this was disappointing as it had smelt so nice earlier. It was a good thing the smell had changed though, even if it was disappointing. This new smell meant that Grell's bleeding had either slowed or stopped. Sebastian knelt down in front of Grell and began unwrapping the bandages. When he was finished he set them aside and took Grell's hand, brushing his opposite appendage away from the towel that he was pressuring so that he could untie it. After a quick examination, Sebastian couldn't find anything wrong with the cut, it was clean and healing normally – so he began wrapping the gauze carefully around the wound, and was finished in under a minute.

Once this was completed, Sebastian taped the bandage in place and tested (in a similar fashion to before) its strength and endurance. He smiled after he decided that it was good enough for today. "I have finished. I would like for you to wash your hands, (the bandages are waterproof, like the ones you wear on your left wrist and torso) your hand and wrist are still bloody. You have cooperated with me, and because of that, I have a present for you." Sebastian reached behind him and set Grell's Madame Missy doll in front of him. "I took it from the doctor's when I regained consciousness and left it in my room before I came for you."

Sebastian stood to his feet, and took Grell's left hand gingerly, (as it may still be sore) and helped him to his feet. He led the shinigami to the bathroom with his hand firmly holding his arm, and he set Grell's doll on his bed afterward. He noticed there was a tea stain on the quilt, he would have to change them later. He didn't leave yet, though, he stood beside Grell and asked as he was washing his hands "How did the cut happen, Grell? I don't imagine that it was _intentional,_ but it was very clean." Sebastian put particular strain on the word, 'intentional'; he had a suspicion that Grell had done this on purpose for attention. He would be able to tell if he were lying, humans were so obvious when they lied.

* * *

Grell and Mey-Rin sat in silence for a while as they waited for Sebastian's return, both of them focused on their thoughts. Mey-Rin would occasionally sigh or look at Grell, as if waiting for him to say something; but the shinigami didn't respond, he was remembering all that had happened recently - it was a strange course of events which led to his situation now. The bleeding from his cut had become much calmer, after he pressured the hand towel against it for a while. Grell felt awful though, the amount of blood he had lost was significant enough to increase the effect of his fever. He was a bit warmer than before, and the gross feeling that resided in him grew stronger, becoming most obvious every time he breathed in. This feeling was mostly distracted by his thoughts though, he had a lot on his mind currently, which helped block out the pain. But Grell's concentration was interrupted by a concerned and unsure voice.

"You don't look so good, Grell." Mey-Rin spoke softly, almost to herself. She was becoming quite worried about Grell as she looked at him – he looked pale, and exhausted. There was a bold look of discomfort apparent on his face, as his cheeks burned red with fever. She was most concerned about his heavy breathing, and the way he was trembling slightly. Grell looked at her, noticing her distress, hearing clearly the worry in her voice.

"Don't worry about me." The shinigami rarely ever saw anyone look at him like that, he wasn't familiar with people being concerned with him – perhaps Angelina had looked at him like that before, she was the only one who ever truly understood him. Remembering her disturbed Grell, regretting the moment of madness he displayed as he murdered the only person he ever felt such a strong connection with. She was the only woman he ever loved; he loved her in a way that could be like a sibling, or friend. Grell had thought that she was exactly like him, and having someone as putrid as himself in the world made him feel better. Until he realised that she wasn't anything like him, in that moment when she couldn't kill Ciel, when the shinigami would have been able to so easily – she had someone in her life that she loved more than herself, and he hated her for that. Grell had no one, he felt jealousy toward her the same he had for those prostitutes – he could _never_ have children, and no one would _ever_ love him.

This realisation brought such extreme depression upon Grell that he felt himself shiver distressingly; emotion overwhelmed the ill shinigami, mixing and churning unpleasantly with the nauseating pain he was experiencing. Grell sobbed as large tears streamed down his burning cheeks, Mey-Rin was surprised with his reaction, had she influenced his tears?

"Grell...?" She scooted towards the upset shinigami. "What are you crying about...? Everything's okay, Sebastian will be here soon." Mey-Rin felt bad, she must have bothered Grell somehow, maybe she shouldn't have said anything.

It was just a few moments after Mey-Rin had spoken when Sebastian entered the room. Grell turned his head to look at him, he felt suddenly relieved at the sight of the demon. His sadness quelled as it was replaced with warmth and admiration for his presence, Sebastian knelt down in front of him, unwrapping the new gauze he had bought before taking Grell's hand to examine it.

The shinigami sat in silence, occasionally sniffing as he watched Sebastian wrap the gauze around his hand, he felt all fluttery inside, still trembling slightly from his sickness. Once Sebastian had finished, he began testing the bandage before smiling and speaking. Once he was finished, Sebastian pulled his Madame Missy doll out from behind him, placing it in front of Grell, explaining how he retrieved it from the doctor's and that it was a present.

Grell stared at the beautiful red doll that sat in front of him, he had thought that he would never see it again, and the shinigami was surprised at the way Sebastian referred to it as a _present_. Grell smiled such a blissful smile that it could not have gone unnoticed; this doll was going to be his gift from Sebastian from now on! He giggled girlishly as Sebastian took his left hand and helped him to his feet, assisting him to the nearby bathroom so he could wash his hands. The demon left the bathroom once he was inside, coming back shortly afterwards. Grell was having some trouble, leaning on the counter for support as he washed his hands - it was even harder to maintain standing than it had been before; the shinigami felt drained. After he had finished washing his hands, Grell took the opportunity to wash his face like he had originally planned, as he was doing this – Sebastian asked about the cut.

After he finished drying his face and hands, the shinigami looked at the broken hand mirror that he left on the counter – one of the shards bloody from cutting into his hand. Grell leaned against the wall to keep himself from falling, speaking in a rather gloomy tone.

"I dropped my hand mirror last night and... it shattered." Grell sighed before continuing. "I picked up the shards and placed them in the frame, leaving it on the counter. I... didn't want to get rid of it. I've had it for such a long time..." He looked away from the mirror and at his hands, playing with his fingers slightly. "After you and Mey-Rin left, I went into the bathroom to wash my face, but I was really exhausted when I got there, so I sat on the counter. I didn't realise the glass was there until I accidently cut my hand on it." Grell looked back sadly at the mirror again, he regretted breaking it, but there was nothing he could do about it now. "But it doesn't matter... it's just an old mirror." His legs ached, he didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to stand, he felt as though he might pass out.


	29. Chapter 29

As Grell was washing his hands and face and explaining how he had accidently cut his hand, Sebastian was noticing that Grell didn't look well – which was to be expected, as he was ill – but even worse than he should. When the shinigami had finished speaking he looked so utterly exhausted that Sebastian took a step in his direction and firmly grasped his arm, as he had earlier when he took him to the bathroom. Sebastian touched a hand to Grell's scarlet cheek, which was now the same colour as his hair. He could hear Grell breathing quickly and deeply. Sebastian frowned and directed his attention away from Grell to Mey-Rin. "Mey-Rin, please perform the following tasks quickly and accurately. I would like you to leave this room with everything that you brought here and the teacups from earlier. When you have returned those to their proper place, come back with a clean quilt and a pitcher of water and a glass, please change the quilt and leave the other two objects on the bedside-table (which will thankfully be cleared once the cosmetics and teacups are gone). When all of that is finished, may I trust you to clean the mess Finny made earlier? I would normally do it myself, but Grell needs attention, (and you are the maid) I recognise these symptoms from when I was treating the young master's asthma."

While Sebastian was explaining his orders to Mey-Rin, the maid's face changed from anxious to frightened – she was blushing furiously when he was finished – she was determined to follow Sebastian's orders to the best of her abilities, and was only worried if she would be able to. She nodded and swiftly and left the bathroom to begin. Sebastian shut the door behind her, and turned his attention to Grell. He had him sit on the toilet as Sebastian began filling the bath with cold water. "I had to sponge you to lower your fever last night, but that was because you were asleep. Sponging is only used when the victim is bedridden, asleep, or unconscious. Since you are not any of those, but your fever is past using an ice-pack, I am going to have you lay in cold bathwater." Sebastian, as a demon who was forced into the position of a butler through a contract, was not used to serving or assisting others and felt that he had to explain everything that he did to be understood or trusted. Sebastian held his hand underneath the running water, testing that it was the correct knob, before standing to his feet and taking the frame and glass shards of Grell's mirror. He told Grell that he was going to take care of his mirror, and left the room with simple instructions. "If the bath fills before I return, turn off the water and get in without me."

Once he entered the bedroom he saw that Mey-Rin was frantically attempting to place the new quilt on the bed, the pitcher and cup were on the table beside her. He smiled, "I am proud of you, Mey-Rin, you a_ctually_ did what I told you to without making a mistake. Good job." Sebastian left with the fragments of the mirror, headed for his own bedroom, to place them aside before returning to Grell. On his way there, Sebastian encountered Ciel at the bottom of the stairs that led to the main floor. He paused in front of Ciel and bowed his head with his hand on his own shoulder, "My lord."

Ciel analyzed the situation before replying, "Sebastian, where did you find that broken mirror and what are you doing with it?"

Sebastian explained without hesitation, "It was Grell's, my lord; he broke this mirror last night. I am going to try to repair it."

Ciel nodded, "Alright, take it away. But do not let that... _thing_ distract you from your work. I will be expecting my meals on regular time and for the trail of filth I saw earlier to be cleaned."

Sebastian bowed again and answered convincingly, "Yes, my lord."

Sebastian entered his own bedroom and set the broken mirror down on his bed, he would repair that later today, if he had the time to. He returned to the bathroom (with a bucket) and entered without knocking and saw the Grell was already in the tub. It was cold water, so there was no steam, and it was clean water, so there were no bubbles. Sebastian, as a demon and one who bathed a small, male human daily didn't feel that this was intrusive in the slightest. Grell though, apparently did, because when Sebastian came into the bathroom he stared at him in frightened embarrassment before he screamed loudly and quickly covered himself (as well as he could with the circumstances). He would have been blushing wildly if he cheeks were not already red. Sebastian quickly made to cover his sensitive ears from Grell's womanly screaming and only put them down when he was finished. He spoke loudly and with a touch of anger, "Calm yourself, Grell, what was that for? Do you think that I have never seen a naked human before? Even if I hadn't, I am not looking, please believe me when I tell you that I don't want to. So don't be so conscious!" Sebastian approached the bath and knelt beside Grell, dipping the bucket in the tub to fill with water, when it was half full he poured the water over Grell's head. "Think of this only as being necessary in your current condition, you are very weak now." Sebastian realised that Grell may not be so ill that he could not pour the water over his own head, but as he demon he greatly underestimated a shinigami's endurance.

* * *

Grell watched Sebastian as he left the room with his broken hand mirror; he said he was going to take care of it – which probably meant he was throwing it out. The shinigami sighed as he watched the bathtub fill with water, there was no point in becoming sad over the object, it's not like that was going to fix it. Grell decided he should get ready for his bath, since he washed his hair last night there was no need to wash it again – it usually took hours to dry. He searched the cabinets in the room for a towel and some soap, eventually finding them and placing them on the counter. Afterwards he began braiding his hair, styling as much of the braid as he could into a bun, wrapping what was left around his neck once or twice. He secured the bun with the ribbon of his robe, tying it in a large, neat bow; there were still some curls in his face (because Mey-Rin had curled most of his bangs) but he decided to leave them be. The bathtub was full by the time Grell had finished his hair, so after he turned it off he folded his clothing and placed them on the counter next to the towel, taking up the soaps and setting them on the border of the bathtub.

The shinigami still had his glasses on (as he imagined he wouldn't be getting his head wet) and the gauze Sebastian had wrapped around his torso and back last night was still present (since Sebastian said it was waterproof). Grell usually preferred warm baths, but this was more of an attempt to calm his fever - he was feeling rather hot, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He cautiously touched the still water with his foot, pulling it back almost immediately with a gasp – _this water was cold!_ The shinigami had such sensitive skin, the temperature affected him tremendously - but it wasn't going to get any warmer, so he was just going to have to deal with it. Grell carefully slid his foot into the icy water, feeling an unpleasant shiver, proceeding by sliding in the rest of his pale leg before climbing in, hissing as he lowered his body into the tub.

Grell sat uncomfortably in the water, trembling as he waited for his body temperature to adjust. After a few minutes he was familiar enough with the feeling to move around, taking hold of a nail filer he found in the cabinet, he began filing one of his toenails that had been bothering him recently – it was slightly uneven. He took advantage of this opportunity by doing the same with the rest of his nails. As he was in the midst of filing, he heard the door open from behind him and someone walk in. He turned his head around enough to see who had entered, only to distinguish _Sebastian_ – holding a bucket. Grell felt ultimately exposed, as he had his bare leg lifted to ensure better filing, as well as the water he was sitting in being translucent. He stared at Sebastian for an awkward moment, not even _believing_ the situation he was in right now, before screaming out of realisation that he was _naked_ in front of _Sebastian_. The flustered shinigami quickly brought his leg down before frantically covering himself the best he could.

Sebastian covered his ears until Grell had finished screaming and told his after that he shouldn't be so conscious. Grell noticed that he seemed angry. He also noticed that he was walking towards him, Sebastian was _approaching_ him, Grell couldn't even recall a time he had been this embarrassed! Didn't Sebastian understand the concept of privacy? The demon knelt down in front of the tub; the shinigami's heart was racing as he stared at Sebastian – backing away quickly as Sebastian dipped the bucket into the tub, pouring it over his head. The shinigami shut his eyes, the water soaking his hair and wetting his glasses, which was just what he was trying to avoid. Grell opened his eyes, touching his hair that he had put so much effort into putting up _just_ to avoid it getting wet, and Sebastian had dumped water all over it!

"Sebby, I was trying to keep my hair dry." The shinigami whined nervously, sticking the tip of his thumb in his mouth. His shoulders were trembling from the cold water as it ran down his face, dripping off his eyelashes when he blinked. This was extremely awkward, was Sebastian trying to embarrass him? Grell removed his thumb from his mouth before leaning forward on the edge of the tub, crossing his arms on the border and resting his head on top.

"You should apologise, Sebby, it's very impolite for a man to intrude on a lady while she's bathing." Grell giggled – amusing himself - before sitting up and coughing abruptly, letting out a moan of discomfort from the sting in his lungs after. He still felt terrible and weak, touching his chest as he took a deep breath.


	30. Chapter 30

Sebastian ignored Grell's first comment entirely and when he responded to the second he didn't even look at Grell as he was pouring more water over the shinigami's head. He had waited until he had stopped coughing first, though. "Grell, you are not a lady and you are not bathing. I hope you know that you are a man and that you are only in the tub to lower your temperature." Sebastian paused after he poured two buckets of water on Grell and decided afterward that it should be enough. He set the bucket aside and reached into his coat for a thermometer, shaking it to prepare it for use. Sebastian noticed that Grell was looking at the thermometer and Sebastian suspiciously and the demon informed him with a sigh, "Please, don't assume anything, this thermometer is for your mouth." Grell opened his mouth indignantly and let the utensil pass through his lips and teeth without resistance, trapping it once he was comfortable with its presence. Sebastian sent a smile his way which the shinigami ignored in his annoyance.

Sebastian watched Grell with unwavering attention, focused more on what the thermometer read than the shinigami himself, Sebastian had one arm relaxed on the bathtub's border and had his elbow beside his arm to support his head as he watched the mercury rise higher in reaction to the heat in Grell's mouth with almost a bored expression on his pretty face. It stopped at an uncertain number which was lower than Sebastian had expected but higher than he would have liked. After he removed the thermometer he had Grell remain in the tub five to ten minutes longer, occasionally pouring more water on him, until when he tested his temperature again it was considerably lowered. "Well Grell," Sebastian told him in an unusually positive fashion, "I don't think that you need to be in the bath any longer, so please come out. I will be waiting outside as you dry and dress yourself." Sebastian left the room and shut the door lightly behind him.

Once he was outside the bathroom he began to look over the bedroom for imperfections that the maid may have left behind. He was surprised when he couldn't find anything that could use improvement and sat on the edge of the bed as he waited for Grell to come out, in a confused but pleasant way. He only had to hope now that she wasn't doing anything ridiculous to try and clean the trail, for example, if she were to use bleach on the carpet of the stairs, then they would have to buy a new one. If that were to happen, it would be his fault for not telling her not to, and he would have to suffer the consequences of a punishment for a mistake that wasn't his fault. It would not have been the first time that had happened, either, and perhaps it was because this was his first (and hopefully last) time as a butler, and he was still unused to the unfair treatment a servant received. The demon had his gloved hands folded in his lap and a solemn expression on his face when Grell finally decided to come out of the bathroom. The demon glanced in Grell's direction, looking him over quickly, he had put the demon's robe back on (he hadn't expected him to touch the day clothes since he would be in bed all day) and stumbled out of the bathroom. The demon stood quickly and took his arm once more to guide him to the bed.

Sebastian lowered Grell gingerly to the quilt and had him lean against the pillows and headboard, so he was sitting with the effect of lying down. The butler poured him water from the pitcher into a crystal glass, and handed it to him, "I am certain that you can drink without my help, so I would like you to, if you can." He decided that if Grell appeared to have difficulty with drinking, Sebastian would assist him, but otherwise he thought that it would be unnecessary. It was more difficult to help someone drink than eat, so he would like to avoid that. He sat beside Grell, trying his best to maintain the appearance of someone who wasn't there, only having a presence when it was required.

* * *

After Grell pulled the plug from the bathtub, he stepped out carefully to make sure he didn't slip on the tile floor, Sebastian was waiting outside for him right now, so the shinigami decided to make this quick so that he didn't test the demon's patience. Grell dried himself swiftly with the towel that he had left out, folding it back up neatly and placing it on the counter – he wasn't really sure what else to do with it. He dressed himself back into the clothes he was wearing before he got into the tub, Grell usually disliked doing this, as he preferred to change into something fresh – but this was all he had to wear at the moment. The shinigami untied the ribbon he had used to hold his hair up so that he could tie it around the robe; his braid unfolded itself as Grell unwrapped it from around his neck. He looked over himself in the mirror, straightening his robe and styling his curled bangs before he decided he was presentable enough to leave. Grell lifted the robe slightly before he started walking – so that he wouldn't trip, the robe was a bit long for him.

As the shinigami walked though, he felt himself becoming weaker; he stumbled slightly when he opened the door to the bedroom – only to be grasped firmly by the arm by Sebastian. Grell looked up at him as they stood there for a moment, before Sebastian led him to his bed where he leaned the shinigami against the headboard. Grell watched the demon as he poured some water from the pitcher into the drinking glass, handing it to him.

Grell took the glass from Sebastian with his left hand, it wasn't very comfortable to hold, but it was tolerable. He sat up further, sipping on it. The shinigami hadn't realised how thirsty he had been until he started drinking it, it was quite pleasurable and he drank it quickly. About half of it was gone when Grell felt satisfied, holding the glass in his lap, he would occasionally sip it when he felt the urge to.

Madame Missy had been lying on his bed this whole time, and Grell just now noticed her presence, the shinigami smiled as he set the drinking glass down on the bedside table, picking the red doll up instead. After looking at her for a while, twirling her hair and playing with her frills, but the shinigami soon looked to Sebastian, noticing how he hadn't moved or said anything this whole time. Grell positioned the Madame Missy doll in front of his face, attempting to get his attention.

"Sebby~" He started, shaking the doll slightly in front of him. Grell waited for Sebastian to respond, but the demon ignored him, typical. The shinigami lowered the doll, sitting in front of him instead, looking him in the eyes. Grell realised that he had never told Sebastian how much he appreciated all that he was doing for him, the demon deserved some sort of acknowledgment for all of the work he did around here – all for that brat – and how he still managed to find time in his busy schedule to take care of him. Grell smiled, this was so clichéd, but...

"Thanks for all that you're doing for me, Sebastian. I'm feeling a lot better now."


	31. Chapter 31

Sebastian didn't respond when Grell held his doll in front of his face, or even when he called him by the name Grell had given him and began shaking the doll. The shinigami was determined to be acknowledged though, so he positioned himself in front of Sebastian and looked into the demon's eyes. Sebastian held their gaze with a neutral expression, Grell's irises may have been a different colour from the other shinigami that he had seen, but the way the eyes were made in general was the same - there was the outer rim, an inner rim, and a dark pupil in the centre of his eye – it was the same for all shinigami, these eyes were designed to see souls, but because of that function they were not reliable for much else. That is why every shinigami had to wear glasses, to correct their earthly vision; they are nearly blind without them. Sebastian was curious if Grell had worn glasses in his human life.

It surprised Sebastian when Grell spoke again, he had not imagined the shinigami had anything that he wanted to say, and what he said was even more unexpected still. It was unlike Grell to say that he was grateful for anything, or so Sebastian had imagined, he had never done anything for the shinigami before that would inspire a 'thank you' so it was not something that he could know for sure. Sebastian looked away from Grell so he wouldn't have to see his shining eyes or appreciative smile. "I am glad that you are feeling better, that was what I was hoping to accomplish, but it is unnecessary to thank me; I am only doing what is appropriate in this situation." Sebastian felt his lips twitch into a sly smile; Grell must have imagined that Sebastian was doing this for him, which wasn't true. Sebastian's reasons were entirely selfish – but – Sebastian would like for Grell to imagine that. The demon wouldn't correct him.

The more Sebastian thought about that idea, the more he liked it, it was in his nature to manipulate – it was so tempting – and it wouldn't bring any harm. Sebastian was still looking away from Grell, when he added "It is my fault you are in this condition now, it is only fair, that I restore you to your former health before I send you home. Or, at least, until your wrist has healed I would like you to remain here." Sebastian didn't say anymore on that subject after that, he wanted to sound like himself. Sebastian looked at Grell, with the same smile from before, and added "Regarding your health, I imagine that you should be laying down, not sitting up." Sebastian stood up from the bed and ignored Grell's reaction as he gently, yet forcibly, had him lay down and pulled the quilt to his shoulders. He looked at Grell sincerely, as if he were ordering him to remain that way, until he walked away. He ensured that the windows were still open – it was no longer snowing – but the snow from yesterday remained. It provided light, fresh air, and a low room temperature. He was about to leave, but he turned to smile at him before he did. "I am going to assume that you understand that I am very busy as a butler, it is almost lunchtime, and after that there will be teatime and dinner, and that is only concerning meals. I also have servant and household management if the young master has no additional orders. I would like for you to relax and only move to drink or to use the restroom. I will come in occasionally to check on you and give you your meals. If you do well, I may have another present for you." Sebastian was referring to Grell's mirror, but Grell probably didn't know that. The demon left room without another word.

...

For Sebastian, the rest of the day passed quickly and without interest, other than the times when he was able to visit Grell. He didn't necessarily enjoy the shinigami's company, but it was different from his usual routine, and that was enough for Sebastian. It was enjoyable also, to a degree, to have absolute control over another living thing. Sebastian had never done anything like this before, as a demon he may have granted wishes, but it was not anything like what he did now. It was not like taking care of Ciel either, who would order Sebastian to do things that he couldn't do himself, but was independent in almost every other way. Ciel could certainly walk without Sebastian's help and didn't need to be fed or have bandages changed. It was unusual, but Grell had been the highlight of his day.

So when Sebastian entered Grell's room again and for the last time that night, he was in a good enough mood, in his left hand he held a roll of gauze and a candle in his right. He sat down beside the shinigami and set the candle on the table with the pitcher (which Sebastian had refilled). Grell was acknowledging him by looking at him. He looked from Sebastian's face to the bandages he was unrolling; Sebastian though, did not care for what he thought of this situation. Once the demon was prepared, he looked at Grell and demanded, "Grell, remove your robe." Sebastian had removed his gloves to reveal his black nails and contract on his right hand. His expression was serious and didn't flicker as the light from the candle did on his face. The same unsteady, golden light lit only the area surrounding, the rest was dark or silver with moonlight. The window was still open, and letting in a soft winter breeze to rustle their hair and clothes. Sebastian reached out his bare hand, and touched his cheek gently, testing for fever. The fever was very light and he imagined that it would be gone by tomorrow.

* * *

Grell had been writing in his diary concerning all of the significant events up until now, there had been a lot recently, considering the situation he was in was quite out of the ordinary. Shinigami, (Grell in particular) consider recording the events of their past necessary, because they would probably forget a lot of things in their immortal life, William recommended it because he believed it helped to maintain your sanity. Grell though, enjoyed reading back over the many decades as his thought process slowly changed; he had many diaries – all which were filled out completely. The shinigami now spent most of his free time writing, and the remainder of it he spent relaxing and trying to recover when he was feeling especially weak. One fraction of it though, he had spent applying the marvellous gift from Mey-Rin he had received this morning – which of course had its effects. Grell was still writing currently, his back leaning against the headboard with his knees pulled up to his chest, as his diary rested against his legs. The shinigami's train of thought was unexpectedly interrupted by Sebastian though, as he walked into the room with a candle and gauze.

He looked toward the demon, acknowledging his presence. Grell remembered what Sebastian had said this morning, pointing to this situation; he wasn't sure what to think about the idea, because he couldn't imagine it. Sebastian set the candle aside – unrolling the gauze, seating himself next to Grell on the bed and ordered him to remove his robe.

The demon spoke in a serious, demanding tone. The shinigami knew well enough that there was no avoiding the position he was in right now. Grell didn't say anything, or make any sort of sound in reaction, he just simply watched as Sebastian removed his gloves, before touching his warm cheek with his bare hand. He loved the contact, the way it felt to be touched by someone else, by Sebastian. Once his hand returned, the shinigami placed the ribbon attached to the spine of the diary in the page, as a bookmark, he would return to it later. After Grell set his diary aside, he sat silently for a few moments, a neutral expression present on the shinigami's eccentric features. He knew the demon was waiting, so with some difficulty, he untied the ribbon from the silk garment, placing it on top of his diary. He felt a soft breeze blow in through the window, fluttering underneath the thin material, swaying his hair and chilling his skin. Grell held the robe together, feeling rather uncomfortable. His usual bold self disintegrated at the thought of Sebastian seeing his body, his concern usually didn't mix with other people's opinions, but Sebastian was special, and the shinigami was worried about what his opinion would be, Grell knew that Sebastian had seen him before – but he hadn't been conscious to witness his reaction – and he was frightened of what it would be.

Through the influence of others Grell had come to believe that he wasn't very attractive, and had accepted that, but even still - he hoped and waited that someone would call him pretty, he didn't think Sebastian would, but he didn't know if he could handle being seen as ugly in his eyes. Those eyes that Grell had fallen for, and longed to be gazed upon with such affection. If he revealed himself now, he couldn't go back, but he was going to have to take that risk. The shinigami sat up, sitting on his knees as he slid the silk behind his shoulders, shutting his eyes as it fell to his elbows, removing his arms shortly afterwards – folding them in his lap. He tried to imagine what Sebastian was seeing right now, now that he was nearly exposed.

The body Grell hid underneath his clothing was unusual; it was small and frail. But the most noticeable thing about its structure was the way it was fashioned; it was as if you put the wrong pieces of a puzzle together, but still created a picture. It was like taking the body of a man, and putting it in the frame of a woman. His body curved like a woman's, the way his sides and back arched, and his long legs that were proportioned so femininely that it was almost unbelievable that those limbs were fastened to a man. His arms were thin and delicate, leading to his collarbone - which stuck out slightly the same way his hips did. If it wasn't for the masculinity of his flat chest in this scene then he could have been mistaken for a female; there were slight indentions surrounding his stomach and ribs, also above his hips. His naval was small and ovular, in the centre of his smooth stomach. Grell knew the bandages that were placed on him last night covered his stomach and torso, but they wouldn't be like that for much longer. The shinigami's skin was unblemished, evenly toned while soft to the touch. Paired with that effect, his skin was pale, all white besides the certain areas where faint body blush was present.

All of this connected to his head – canine teeth, golden-green eyes, and long scarlet hair, his body didn't fit, it was a combination that wasn't supposed to mix, Sebastian was looking at the body of a gender-confused freak. But this was _his_ body and this was his morbid beauty.


	32. Chapter 32

Sebastian could tell that Grell was uncomfortable removing the robe, he did not hurry to undress, which Sebastian found unusual. From what Sebastian knew about Grell, he was many things and shy wasn't one of them. Sebastian was curious, why was he hesitating now, when before he had confidence in himself and his body? It was his assumption that Grell was tentative now because this was more personal than revealing clothing, this was nudity, and even Sebastian couldn't deny the atmosphere made the scene more suggestive and possibly more embarrassing. (If that were true, it had no effect on Sebastian.) Once Grell was revealed, Sebastian didn't waste any time removing the old bandages, he slit them open like an envelope to reveal the skin underneath. It was tempting, but not too much so, to cut further than the bandages and reveal what was underneath the _skin,_ but Sebastian had more self-control than to give in to those kinds of desires.

Sebastian did not react to Grell's body, his eyes took in the sight, but his thoughts did not appear on his face. The demon concluded that Grell was very attractive, for a human, as he had thought earlier when he had seen his legs and bruises. He had been prepared for this sight, so of course, everything happened as he had planned. Sebastian made a motion with his hand for Grell to turn around so that he could apply the bandages. The shinigami did so, and the demon brushed his thick braid over his shoulder. Sebastian only smiled when he saw the bruises again; they were not as beautiful as they were last night, only because he had seen them before. The first experience had the strongest impact, it was universal knowledge, it would never feel the same if you knew what to expect or had experienced the same thing before. Although, that did not mean that he obtained no enjoyment, just not as much.

The medicine Sebastian had used for the bruises before, he used again, he applied the potent substance on his hands and began to gently rub it into the damaged skin. Grell was trembling, Sebastian noticed, he could feel his small shoulders shaking as he moved his hands across his back. The demon frowned, and shortened the distance between them, so he could hold his lips beside his ear and ask softly, "You are acting unlike yourself, may I enquire why? You seem upset, does my touch hurt, or is there another reason?" Sebastian would never have guessed that Grell was unsure of his appearance, when he usually displayed such pride in the same trait. If he was not being gentle, he was now; he slowly and lightly rubbed in the medicine. Sebastian had already unrolled the bandages, so he began applying them afterward without pausing, slowly and carefully as before. Although he was waiting patiently for Grell's answer, he was more curious than he acted; he wanted to know why the shinigami had cringed under his touch.

* * *

The tender skin on Grell's bruised back ached unpleasantly as Sebastian rubbed in the medicine with his bare hands, the shinigami tried not to respond to the pain, but occasionally a small whimper would escape his warm mouth when he made contact with a more sensitive area. But what was even more uncomfortable was that Sebastian was touching him, the demon had touched him before, but this time was different – as it was his bare hands against his bare back. The shinigami's sense of touch was very strong, and the contact with his sensitive skin had a vast effect on him. No one had ever touched Grell's back before, and he wasn't familiar with the idea of being touched at all; this lack of contact was what caused him to be the naughty, sassy little shinigami that he portrayed himself as – though if someone were to actually take him seriously, he would probably lose the act and become anxious (the way he was now), but no one ever did. Perhaps Grell's charm was just an act to receive attention, and was performed out of loneliness.

The nervous shinigami was trembling slightly; the demon expressed no emotion and displayed no reaction towards his appearance. Grell felt at unease, he knew Sebastian was viewing the hideous bruises on his back, running his hands along the feminine arch, sensing the warm trembling body beneath his fingertips, witnessing the pain and tenseness Grell displayed as he whimpered and sat awkwardly before him. Sebastian seemed to notice this, as he scooted closer – hands still on his back – speaking softly in his ear to ask the reason for his distress.

Grell shrunk as he spoke, feeling even more exposed than he was, with Sebastian so close to him. The demon backed away, continuing his treatment gentler than before, afterwards wrapping the gauze around him carefully as he waited patiently for a response. The shinigami tensed, his trembling shoulders cringed as a cool breeze blew in through the window. Grell began in a small voice.

"Pain is involved… But it is more the humiliation of my repugnant body before you, my sickly figure nearly reaching its maximum repulsion." Grell could feel the pace of his heart accelerating as he spoke softly and emotionally, almost to himself, "Does it disturb you, Sebastian? The way it does everyone else…?" The shinigami positioned himself off his knees, pulling his pearly legs up to his chest halfway.

He knew that Sebastian was going to make a blunt response; he would probably end up agreeing with him. Grell only hoped that he wouldn't ignore him; he would almost rather be called ugly – that would at least confirm his appearance, because the shinigami wasn't sure exactly how to view himself. He was coming to accept that he wasn't pretty, and that he could only dream that Sebastian would hold him and tell him that everyone else was wrong – and that he was beautiful.

There was an extreme sadness in the shinigami's eyes, but acceptance as well; the golden-green irises shimmered and trembled along with his body, as he waited hopelessly for the demon's reply.


	33. Chapter 33

Sebastian could hardly bring himself to believe that the insecure sentences he heard now were coming from Grell. Before Grell's kidnapping, the shinigami had to have been the most confident and lusty individual that the demon knew, Sebastian could not accept the sudden change. Sebastian would have to use the charm that he naturally possessed as a demon to bring Grell back to himself. As he was bandaging he began, "I will never understand humans or anything related to them or their actions. I cannot comprehend their reasons for praising or shaming an individual for their physical appearance, nor can I agree with those reasons. I am a demon, so it is possible that I am not meant to, but since my opinion seems important to you I will answer to the best of my ability."

Sebastian paused momentarily, so that he knew Grell was prepared for his answer. "The body - even a shinigami's, even a demon's, even an animal's - is a tool. It is not meant to be more or less, but as it happens, there are favourable traits that have been called by a name – beautiful. If an individual is born without these traits, or with unfavourable traits, they are made to feel different by another name – ugly. These titles – beautiful and ugly, as they are in English - are fickle, not because I say so, but because they are different for every population of the world. It is not uncommon either, for those populations to be diverse, with the favourable traits determined by a majority. You, Grell, were born with what this majority would call unfavourable traits."

The demon spoke in a smooth, melodic voice, menacing and yet reassuring. Sebastian taped the bandage in the proper places, securing it, and used his right hand to act out his next words. "Red hair," Sebastian ran his fingers through Grell's long tresses, "White skin," Sebastian brought his hand to the side of Grell's face, "Yellow eyes," Sebastian touched his thumb to the side of Grell's right eye, "Sharp teeth," Sebastian slid his thumb down Grell's face to stop beside his mouth, "And a skinny, effeminate body." The demon placed both of his hands on the shinigami's shoulders and left them there. "There is no one who has the authority to say that these traits are ugly, as anything more than an opinion, and an opinion should not determine how you feel about yourself."

Sebastian, with his hands still on Grell's shoulders, turned the shinigami around to face him. He looked into Grell's trembling eyes with a look of such sincerity that he had the appearance of much more than a lowly demon, but the appearance of a god, who intended to change Grell's view on himself with divine intervention. He didn't blink when he told him in a voice that matched his manner, "You are beautiful, Grell, or as beautiful as a human can be." Sebastian laughed quietly, and a smile spread over his face, "Now, Grell, look in this mirror and tell me what _you_ think of yourself, it is the only opinion that matters." And from his coat pocket Sebastian removed Grell's mirror, not only was the glass mended flawlessly, but it looked as if it were new.

The fading paint had been restored, it sparkled in the candlelight as if it was real gold, and the scratches had been mended and the chips had ultimately disappeared. Sebastian held it so Grell could see his face reflected in the mirror. "This is a precious object, Grell Sutcliff, be more careful with it in the future. The only thing more beautiful than this mirror is what it reflects."

* * *

The shinigami stared at the mirror in front of him – the mirror he had broken – the mirror he had possessed for nearly a hundred years. It was for sure the same mirror, but not only was it repaired – it was absolutely flawless, it contained not a single scratch, chip, crack, or smudge, and it looked as if it were new! How Sebastian had managed to restore it to such quality was beyond Grell, he merely stared at it with an expression of absolute bliss. His face reflected the sadness he felt earlier, combining with the happiness he felt now – his eyes trembling as a small smile spread across his face.

Sebastian had called him _beautiful_; the shinigami wondered if the demon knew how much that meant to him – having never even been told he was _pretty_ before. Hearing such wonderful words directed toward him by his ultimate obsession was overwhelming, Grell could never express the proper happiness he was experiencing now through words or actions. He remembered the way the demon had touched him earlier, the gentle way he pointed out his flaws, while somehow making him feel beautiful at the same time. The shinigami could hardly believe what was happening now, he couldn't recall a time when he had ever felt so contented – so positively joyful that he couldn't possibly describe the feeling. Grell's heart soared as his smile grew wider, tears building up in his bright, trembling eyes before streaming down his blushing cheeks. He wasn't sad at all, he was just so hopelessly _happy_ that he couldn't hold it in. Sebastian's words were repeating themselves in his mind, he could almost feel the demon's hands on him again – the sweet touches of comfort and affection. Grell sobbed, trembling as emotion tensed in him, attacking his body with such glee that it was almost painful. The shinigami blinked, another sparkling tear escaping his eyelash.

"_O-Oh… Sebastian!"_ Grell's words sounded almost relieved, small and breathy; for once the shinigami didn't feel quite as lonely – he could hardly exercise the crushing emotion that was beating him now, his heart was pounding and aching as he trembled and sobbed delicately.

"No one has _ever_…said _a-anything_ like -" The shinigami was interrupted by a sob, waiting a few moments before daintily taking the mirror from Sebastian with his good hand, holding it in his lap as he gazed into it. He hadn't ever seen himself with such a reflection before; he looked so much more _darling_ when he was happy.

"I've never had a definite opinion on myself… Most of the time I appreciate my appearance, but there are other times when I _detest_ it." Grell felt a new wave of emotion swarm over him, that warm, devastating feeling overwhelm his tender heart. Fresh tears built up in the shinigami's golden-green eyes, as they streamed down – he looked away from the mirror and at the demon in his place. "You're the _first_ one… to ever call me beautiful." The shinigami stared at Sebastian, a small smile apparent on his gentle face.

"Sebastian, you are _so_ beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that…?" To Grell, Sebastian was beautiful in every way, he admired his existence wholly, the demon would probably never understand – how much he _adored_ him.


	34. Chapter 34

It was curious to Sebastian how Grell's moods could change so quickly with only a few desired sentences and a mirror. He was not the first, though, to let a demon's words and actions overwhelm him. As a demon, he had learned to use words as tools, to manipulate the decisions and actions of a human for his own purposes. His intention though, had not been to invoke such powerful emotions in Grell, but to coax him out of his previous condition. Sebastian decided that although this had not been what he anticipated, that it was not a bad outcome, he took Grell's left hand and began to untie the bandage that covered the cut that he had cleaned last night. Sebastian did not untie the cast, but cut the bandage where it ended and the cast began, after a quick examination he began to apply a new bandage. As he was doing this, Sebastian thought about how Grell had told him that he was beautiful.

What Grell had said made Sebastian uncomfortable, Sebastian was not like Grell, both of them had never been told that they were beautiful but that did not mean that they had mutual feelings on the word. As he thought more about it, the more it disturbed him; Sebastian had to explain to Grell why he, as a demon, could never be beautiful. Sebastian looked up from Grell's hand, which he had finished bandaging, and looked into his smiling tear-streaked face with his own. On the demon's face was a look that may have resembled fear. "No, Grell, no one has ever told me that I am beautiful. I… am a demon, and demons are not beautiful. Demons are creatures that are born in darkness, mature in darkness, and take humans into that darkness so that they may experience the same sadness and loneliness. Demons are creatures that live without purpose, with unreasonable power, and use that power to manipulate and destroy humans not only so that they may live but out of jealousy and hatred."

Sebastian paused as he thought about how he should continue, and set Grell's hand down so he could inattentively tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear, before he continued. "Demons are many things, but do not misunderstand, they will not lie. I did not lie to you when I told you that you were beautiful, and I do not lie to you now when I tell you that I am not. But be careful, Grell, do not let a demon deceive you with witty words. Demons are not beautiful, but terrible..." Sebastian frowned, but felt better now that he had explained to Grell that demons were wicked. He wanted Grell to believe that, it was uncomfortable, to know that a human outside of a contract enjoyed his company. Sebastian smiled his most precious smile so that Grell would know he was finished with his previous subject. "It is very late, Grell, I would like you to rest. I know that your fever is low and you are probably feeling better, but that does not mean you _are_ better, so when I leave please do not stay awake any longer than you must." Sebastian stood up and lifted Grell's robe in his hands, Grell understood what Sebastian wanted to do and set his mirror on the bedside table so he could lift his arms. Sebastian gently slid his arms into the robe and draped what remained over his shoulders. He lifted the tie too, and tied a secure but loose bow to keep the material shut. He also removed his glasses from his face and folded them to set them aside When he finished Sebastian had Grell lie down, he took the covers to pull them over him as he had earlier, and took the candle in his left hand from the bedside table. Sebastian walked to the door with the candle, the light followed him and left darkness in his absence, but before he left the room he turned to look at Grell for the last time and said, "Goodnight, Grell."

When Sebastian left and shut the door behind him, it was pitch in the room, the only light came from the moon and stars which left the swaying shadows of branches on the wall.

* * *

The room became dark after Sebastian left; Grell lay contentedly on his side as a soft breeze blew in through the open window. He was familiar with the nature of demons, as William had told him many horror stories as an attempt to convince him to avoid them (Sebastian in particular) but none of them persuaded the stubborn shinigami. It was interesting to see the way Sebastian had reacted to Grell's comment, he had obviously made some sort of impact on the demon – and that alone was always satisfying. Sebastian had tried to influence his views upon Grell, but his own still remained, the shinigami almost found it pitiable – that he couldn't tolerate someone calling him beautiful.

Grell turned to his other side, trying to pose a more comfortable position. In front of him, in the faint moonlight, he saw a blurry view of his Madame Missy doll. After taking in her sight, the shinigami sat up, winning her in his hands. He smiled at her pretty presence, which was very slight in the dark without his glasses – afterwards lying back down with her in his arms. Grell felt much more comfortable with his precious doll, the one Sebastian had given to him. Every time he saw the doll, he was reminded of the demon, the shinigami absent-mindedly twirled her hair as he thought about Sebastian, the way he had called him beautiful in his most self-loathing moment. The mere company of the doll brought peace upon the shinigami, which helped carry him into a serene sleep.

...

It was still very early when Grell had awoken; the shinigami's body clock naturally woke him up early so he could spend a few hours getting ready before starting work. The sun was just beginning to rise, glazing a weak morning ray across the bedroom, while birds tweeted and sang to the upcoming spring. Grell sat up slowly - feeling well and rested – as he peered out the window sleepily. The snow was beginning to melt, and the low sun revealed brilliant beams of sunshine – winter was coming to an end, and spring was on its way.

Grell yawned before rubbing at his left eye with his good hand, picking up his glasses from the bedside table and placing them on his face. The shinigami felt a sudden burst of energy after he put his glasses on, as everything around him came into focus. He got up from his bed, - attempting to stand – he felt much better than he had yesterday and supposed that he should be able to walk with ease now. With luck, he was able to walk without a sudden loss of energy, Grell moved to the bathroom to go wash his face as he usually did every morning. Once the shinigami beheld his reflection in the mirror, he gasped at how messy his hair had become – the ribbon that was securing his braid must have come undone in his sleep. Grell realised that his comb had been left behind in that old warehouse (along with his vest); and sighed before frantically searching the bathroom for something to mend his hair with.

In his search the shinigami came across a lovely brush, it looked so similar to his hand mirror that it could have been part of a set – and its bristles were soft and untouched, this was most definitely a virgin brush, and Grell would be more than happy to run it through his hair. The shinigami went totally gaga over the perfectness of the utensil, becoming a brainless bubblehead over how much he would love to possess such a precious item. Grell decided to claim the brush while he stayed here, he would have to leave it behind when he went home though – which was a sad thought.

After Grell finished primping for about twenty minutes (if he had all his proper cosmetics it would have been more like an hour or two) he walked over to his bedside table, placing the brush down next to the mirror – it would be good to have it handy. The shinigami turned toward his guest bed, noticing Sebastian's gloves on the covers - Grell hadn't noticed them last night; Sebastian must have left them behind. He knew that demons didn't sleep very often, so he could probably find Sebastian and return them to him, besides, the shinigami was bored (and wanted to see Sebastian). Realising his decision made Grell curious; he was able to walk easily and thought it would be entertaining to explore the manor.

After he made his bed, the shinigami gathered his Madame Missy doll and Sebastian's gloves. He exited the room (leaving the door open) and began walking down the hallway. Grell didn't know where Sebastian was, and figured he would probably come across him eventually if he walked around for a while. But the shinigami constantly got distracted by various rooms in the house, going in and exploring the place before getting bored and leaving for a different room.

One room was drastically different from the others though; there was actually a _mess_ in there. It was the library, and a pathetic one to Grell (only in comparison to the shinigami's library) there was a small pile of books on the floor in front of shelf that seemed as though someone had woken up in the middle of the night, began searching frantically through the books, before giving up and leaving a mess behind. Why Sebastian hadn't attended to this yet was beyond him, perhaps the demon had already finished cleaning and someone made this mess during his free time.

The shinigami approached the pile, figuring he'd spare some work for the butler, on top of just being bored. On his way there, he spotted a small bowl of mints on the coffee table nearby. Grell smiled before running over there and seizing the bowl, he _loved_ mints – the shinigami always carried them around with him if he could and considered them most pleasurable. He set down his doll and Sebastian gloves on the floor before sitting down in front of the book pile with the bowl, occasionally popping a mint or two in his mouth as he put the books back in place.

In the midst of his work, Grell came across a book of fairy tales, the shinigami library only contained of boring books and records on the souls of humans – there was absolutely nothing like this there. The other books looked boring to Grell, but this one intrigued him. The shinigami began reading the book, reading each short story after another with absolute fascination. Most of the tales were about young maidens and princesses, which were very strange and involved true love and a happy ending. These stories were so entertaining for Grell that he completely forgot about the other books (but not the mints) and read them with a look of absolute enchantment.


	35. Chapter 35

It was a long night for Sebastian; of course the demon didn't sleep, but instead spent the night preparing for the morning. The darkest hour was before the dawn, and that was the hour that Sebastian was most aware, he appreciated that no one else was awake and that he could do as he pleased until the sun came. It was not uncommon that by the end of the day, Sebastian felt that he needed the peace and quiet that came with solitude; this particular morning the sun's first rays came in through the small kitchen window, in-between the gaps in the curtains. The young master and guests rarely came into the kitchen, only servants, so the curtains were not expensive lace but a more common material. This theory did not only apply for curtains, but for anything that the young master and guests never had to see, it was inappropriate for servants to have luxurious items.

Sebastian watched the determined light spread across and fill the room, it was dim as the sun wasn't fully in the sky, but it was light enough now for humans to see. Sebastian, of course, did not need light to see as a demon. Sebastian let out a sigh and shook dust from his eyelashes by blinking in an almost-exhausted way, now that the sun was here his day was to start over again. Sebastian stood up from the chair and tucked it into the simple, worn table that the servants used in the kitchen, and left the room to wake the other servants. Once they were awake and prepared, Sebastian gave them his orders. He asked Bard to prepare breakfast for the young master and the guest, and told him that he was _not_ allowed to use anything that was not a cooking utensil for preparation. He informed Mey-Rin that today he would check on the guest, since she had woken him yesterday, and asked her to polish the floors in the main room and told her to make sure that she was using _floor polish_ and not _shoe polish._ He asked Finny to prepare the garden for spring since it seemed it may be here within the week, and told him that he made too many mistakes for Sebastian to list, so to remember his previous mistakes and avoid them. Sebastian did not give Tanaka any orders.

Sebastian made it clear (as crystal) that if they did not do as Sebastian told them to, he would not hesitate in sending them to Hell individually. (He could do that as a demon). They scattered after his threat, and Sebastian was left feeling very exasperated and stressed before the day had even begun. He didn't have to wake Ciel for another hour, and he had been ordered not to check on him before that time, Ciel hated to feel as if he were dependant on anyone. So, Sebastian decided, he would check on Grell instead. When Sebastian came to Grell's room though, the door was open, and Grell was gone! Sebastian didn't know what had happened, he wracked his mind for a possible solution, and when he couldn't think of anything reasonable he nearly lost himself to worry. His reason for rescuing Grell had been to fix him and return him to William, if he rescued him and then _lost_ him, it wouldn't be any better than if he hadn't rescued him at all! Sebastian entered the room and searched it (including the bathroom) before he was certain he wasn't there. He searched the rooms nearby and couldn't find him there, either. So when Sebastian entered the library and found him on his knees, with a pile of books, and with the coffee-table's bowl of mints he felt sudden relief which quickly gave way to anger.

"Grell! So you were _here?_ I have been looking for you, I was dreadfully worried, I thought that you had been kidnapped again, or I thought that you were lost in the manor!" Sebastian did not shout, but he sounded awfully huffy and uptight. He entered the room and approached Grell, until he stood before him, when he was there he seemed to acknowledge the mess that surrounded Grell. "Oh, and look at the mess you've made! I always have so much work to do; no one ever considers that I am always the one to clean up the messes they make! Why should they do _anything_ when I can do it for them?" Sebastian knelt beside Grell and began to furiously put away the books, even in his anger, putting them in the correct place.

* * *

Grell grabbed another mint from the bowl, placing it in his mouth before he had finished the others he was currently sucking on. He had read about seven short stories, working on his eighth now, the shinigami usually hadn't the patience for books – but when he came across one he liked – it was hard for him to put it down. Grell actually had his own collection of books in his room that he took pleasure in, ones that he had gathered over the years. The majority of them were romance novels – he was quite intrigued by such subjects having never been a true relationship before, and he could almost feel as if he were experiencing the passion that took place in the story. Grell was now in his own little fantasy world, pretending to be the princess he was reading about, as she was being rescued by her shining knight. Right when he was about to reach the climax of the story, Sebastian came out of nowhere and interrupted the scene with an unhappy voice. As the demon spoke, the shinigami stared at him, before smiling happily at the sight.

"Oh, Sebas-chan! You were worried about me?" Grell giggled girlishly as the demon approached, still half-way in his fantasy world. "Yes, my darling knight! Come save me from the mint's temptation… 'Temptation is the fire that brings up the scum of the heart!'" The shinigami often quoted Shakespeare when he was feeling dramatic – though this scene wasn't quite as ecstatic as others had been.

Sebastian didn't seem as excited as Grell was to see him though, as he stood before the shinigami, noticing the pile of books he had been attempting to clean up earlier. The demon obviously had gotten the wrong idea, as he spoke huffily about his lack of appreciation - while furiously began putting the books back in their proper location. Grell frowned, realising the demon's misunderstanding. He wasn't sure if even _Sebastian_ could save him from temptation, as he gently wrapped his arms around the demon's leg, looking up at him before speaking in a pouty voice.

"Don't scold me, Sebastian! This mess was here before I came, I was merely trying to clean it up, just for you~ But I got distracted by this scrumptious novel." Grell pressed his head against Sebastian's leg, nuzzling it lovingly. "I was just trying to help, you should praise me~" The shinigami whined, hoping he would receive praise, it didn't happen very often and Grell especially savoured it when it did.

As the shinigami doted on Sebastian, he suddenly remembered the gloves that he was going to give to him – which was the whole reason he was even in this room now. Grell let go of Sebastian's leg, bubbling with excitement as he picked them up from off the floor with his good hand, holding them high in the air as an attempt to get the demon's attention. Grell giggled and shook them around, having too much fun as he thought about the sure praise he would receive after this.

"You left these behind in my room last night, Sebas-chan! I was looking for you earlier this morning so I could return them to you. Oh praise me, praise me!" The shinigami wiggled eagerly as he waited for Sebastian to praise him, as he usually did when he got excited.


	36. Chapter 36

Sebastian did not react when Grell took his leg in his arm, or even when the shinigami began to nuzzle him with his face; he ignored his actions but not his words. He listened to them carefully, deciding whether or not he sounded as if he were telling the truth. He wasn't certain, Grell didn't sound as though he was lying, but Grell was a talented actor. (Or he was, when he wasn't distracted by attractive men, for example when he played Ophelia in Hamlet). Sebastian let out a sigh as he put away the last book. If what Grell said _was_ true than he had more time than he needed to put these books away. He was about to ask Grell to remove himself from his leg, but he had before he said so, as if he had read his mind.

The shinigami seemed very excited to present Sebastian with the gloves he had worn last night, he seemed to expect praise for returning them, this made Sebastian smile deviously. He decided that he would believe that Grell had not made this mess, with his acceptance his bad mood seemed to dissipate. "I had forgotten I left those behind, I have many pairs that are almost identical." Sebastian took the gloves from Grell, and tucked them into a pocket inside his coat, before looking over Grell. The resemblance to a dog was extraordinary, he had returned a stick to his master and now sat impatiently, wagging his tail and expecting a pat on the head and a treat. Sebastian decided he would give that to him. He reached out a hand gave Grell a pat on the head, giving a little more, petting his long hair.

Sebastian sat down, becoming more comfortable, and reached for the book that Grell had been holding earlier. He read the title and flipped through the pages without looking. "The young master hasn't acknowledged this book once in the four years that I have been working here." He glanced out the window at the bright, early-morning sun and what remained of the snow. "I imagine that the young master doesn't know that this is here, or would want it if he knew, he does dislike anything childish. He wants so badly to be an adult, but he doesn't realise that some adults enjoy childish things too." Sebastian looked at Grell, the smile from before still on his face, "You are a good example, Grell, but it may be inappropriate to call you an adult. I don't think that you grew with your body or matured in your years as a shinigami."

Sebastian looked at the book again; Ciel was quite pitiable, if as a human he couldn't enjoy a book of simple stories. "You can have this, Grell; I think you will make better use of it." Sebastian handed the book to the shinigami, and from his coat pocket removed the same thermometer from before, he shook it impatiently and forced it into Grell's mouth while he was concerned with his present. The book of fairy tales was the first actual present Sebastian had given to Grell, he had only returned the doll and mirror, but he felt as if this had been his third present. It was a strange feeling and he wasn't sure if he liked it. "I think that your fever is gone, but I cannot be certain until I have checked." The demon added to take his mind off of that subject.

When the demon removed it from the shinigami's mouth, it read an average temperature; it was a little below average actually because the room was cold without the heat from the fire that was usually lit. Sebastian took Grell's Madame Missy doll and stood to his feet, he let down a hand for Grell, which he took and used to stand beside Sebastian. "I am going to escort you back to your bedroom; you shouldn't have left without my permission, you are not the young master's guest but _mine._" Sebastian knew that Grell could walk without help now, as he had reached the library without difficulty, so he didn't guide Grell by his arm but walked beside him. It was chilly, once again, but Sebastian did not give Grell his coat as they were close to Grell's room. They entered and Sebastian had Grell remain standing. The demon looked him over and informed him, "Grell, I do not want you to leave this room in that robe again. If the young master, his guests, or the servants were to see you in that robe it would be embarrassing for everyone involved. If you do want to leave this room, I want you to wear what I provided you your first night here."

Once Sebastian had explained that to Grell, he had him sit down on the bed again, Sebastian sat down beside him. The demon turned to look at the shinigami with a neutral but beautiful expression on his face. "If you would like that, I would help you change, as it may be difficult with your wrist broken." Before Grell could answer though, the door opened and Bard came in with a cart. "Valued guest, I have brought you your breakfast, which I have especially prepared for you as the chef of the Phantomhive manor!" Sebastian watched wearily as Bard removed the lid from the breakfast he had made, to reveal a meal that may have been appealing if Bard hadn't burned it in several places. He laughed, proud of himself, and the cigarette nearly fell out of his mouth. Sebastian quickly stood up to solve the problem. "Thank you, Bard, but I don't think that your meal is appropriate for our guest." He approached the cart with caution, and looked closely at what Bard had made. "How many times have I told you _not_ to smoke while you're cooking? It gets ash in the food." Bard opened his mouth to argue, but Sebastian reached out swiftly and took the cigarette from his mouth, which distracted Bard from speaking. Sebastian smiled pleasantly and apologetically at Grell, "I apologise, our chef is still learning to cook, I will take this away and prepare you something as quickly as I can." And so Sebastian left, with the cart, and a dejected Bard following.

* * *

Grell was left alone on his bed, now that Sebastian and Bard had left. That meal that the chef seemed so proud to present him with had been kind of frightening – remembering it now. But at least Bard had gotten him out of the awkward situation he was in a few moments ago – thinking about Sebastian dressing him, he wasn't so sure. Not only was it Sebastian, the shinigami wasn't familiar with having someone else dress him – Grell worked mostly independently, perhaps it felt a bit out of place for someone to be assisting him. Of course, Sebastian had been assisting him for a while now- and it was becoming a bit more familiar to him. The shinigami kind of liked how it felt, to depend on someone else. He smiled at the memory when Sebastian had praised him; he even gave him the book he was holding now. Grell looked down at it, rubbing his thumb across the hard cover.

He set the book down beside him, picking up his journal instead. The shinigami still had so much he needed to write about, and continuous different things kept on happening that he wanted to add in! Grell made himself comfortable on his stomach next to his Madame Missy doll, before opening his journal, writing in it as carefully as he could with his left hand. Grell wrote for a few minutes before he heard his door open again, he didn't think his breakfast could have possibly been done already, so he looked over there curiously to see who it was.

It was Mey-Rin, holding a large laundry basket full of clean clothes. She seemed to be having some trouble with it though – perhaps it was too heavy for her. The maid stumbled into the room quickly, approaching with the basket.

"G-Good morning, Grell!" The maid sounded a bit nervous, worried that she might drop the load of laundry. "Sir Sebastian told me to check on you, so I th-" Mey-Rin was interrupted as she tripped on her boot-lace, screaming as she toppled over – spilling the laundry all over the floor. The maid sighed, sitting up as she began frantically picking up the clothes.

Grell watched Mey-Rin for a few moments before he stood up and seated himself next to her. He helped her pick up the clothes off the floor and place them into the basket; the maid was blushing out of embarrassment as she grabbed a sock nearby.

"Are you all right, Mey-Rin?" The shinigami giggled as she tensed up.

"I-I'm fine! I trip all the time; it doesn't bother me that much anymore." Mey-Rin placed the last clothing piece in the basket, before she stood up with it again. Grell stood up as well, before taking the basket from her with his left arm, the shinigami didn't have much trouble lifting heavy things – having practice swinging a chainsaw around. He set the basket down on the bed, suspecting that was where Mey-Rin had been headed.

"What are you doing with this?" Grell asked curiously, sitting on the bed as he looked into the basket. Mey-Rin sat down next to him, pulling out a shirt – attempting to fold it.

"I'm sorry about the intrusion, this is the servant's laundry, Finny and Bard always dump it on me because I'm the maid." Mey-Rin huffed before continuing. "Sir Sebastian told me that I didn't need to check on you, but folding clothes is so boring, and I thought it would be more fun to chat with you while I did it."

Grell observed how Mey-Rin folded the laundry; it was intriguing how she was a maid, but was folding them incorrectly – it turned out looking more like a lump when she was finished. The shinigami pushed her hand aside, taking the apron she was currently trying to fold away from her, folding it the proper way.

"This is how it's done, Mey-Rin." The shinigami had so many clothes, he always made sure that they were perfectly organized, so folding was an effortless job for him. Grell showed her each step and let her try a few times, she was an awfully slow learner, but she seemed to be getting it somewhat. Grell found this very amusing, he rarely ever taught anyone anything, because usually he was the one who didn't know. The shinigami smiled, as they worked their way through the basket – Grell doing most of the work as he demonstrated for Mey-Rin.

"I think I'm getting it!" The maid seemed thrilled when she actually folded one on her own, but still having trouble making it look nice. Piles were stacking up for each different kind of garment, each individual looking spectacular - due to Grell's talent in folding. As the shinigami reached into the basket for another item to fold, he spotted what looked like a pair of flirtatious panties. Grell giggled evilly and snatched them out of basket, knowing he could embarrass the maid with this. He held it in front of Mey-Rin, stretching it in her face.

"And who is _this _for, Mey-Rin?" The maid screamed, blushing intensely as she reached out to grab it, but Grell held it out of her reach. "Is it for Sir _Sebastian_~?" The shinigami found this extremely entertaining; as he teased her with it.

"N-No! It's not for anyone!" Mey-Rin tried to grab it back again, but Grell kept it out of her reach.

"Not for anyone _yet_, I presume?" Finally the maid had reached her limit, as she seized the panties from the shinigami's hand; Grell laughed and let her keep it, as she tucked it in her apron pocket. Even though she was incredibly embarrassed, she was smiling as if it were humorous. Mey-Rin began folding again, still a bit sloppily.

"Don't worry, Mey-Rin, I have some kinky clothes myself." Grell laughed and spoke shamelessly; he understood that even though she didn't have a lover she still felt tempted to buy and wear such things – even if only for herself. The shinigami poked her face, feeling the warmth from her blush against his finger. Mey-Rin giggled slightly, feeling not so embarrassed after Grell's confession.

They both continued to fold the clothes the way they had before, chatting and giggling about subjects mostly relating to "kinky clothes", amongst other girlish topics.


	37. Chapter 37

It did not take Sebastian as long as it would have taken an average butler or servant to prepare a meal, wake and serve the young master, and serve the guest after. When Sebastian entered the room with the same cart from before, this time with a different dish, he saw Grell and Mey-Rin folding clothes. Sebastian watched Mey-Rin in disbelief, who was not only folding clothes, but folding clothes _correctly._ "Mey-Rin?" Sebastian left the cart behind as he entered the room to see if it were true, he looked behind the maid to see the piles of folded garments, none of which had been done incorrectly. "When did you learn to fold? I have tried to teach you before, but I thought that you were incapable of learning." Sebastian paused curiously, in thought, before he turned around and came back in with the cart. He pushed it beside the bed, and began to lift the stacks of folded clothes and place them into the empty basket to make room.

Mey-Rin stood up so that Sebastian had room to sit down, and Sebastian did not hesitate to take her place, he took the tray from the cart and removed the lid to reveal a steaming ham and egg omelette beside two cream-filled crepes that had been flambéed in Grand Marnier liquor to create a thick sugar sauce and topped with fresh raspberries. On a smaller, separate tray there was a small sponge cake baked with raisins and soaked in rum syrup, also known as a baba cake. There was also a prepared tea set on the cart beside the bed. Sebastian smiled, and added unnecessarily, "I apologise that your breakfast was delayed, I do hope that this is acceptable after your wait." Sebastian had become familiar with the proper way to feed another person; he had done so all of yesterday and for dinner the night before yesterday, he did not go too fast or too slow with too much or too little.

As Sebastian fed Grell, Mey-Rin explained to him that Grell had been teaching her to fold clothes, and that it had been the shinigami and not the maid who had folded most of the clothes. When she was finished, Sebastian felt relieved that he would never again have to re-fold all of young master's clothes when Mey-Rin couldn't do it correctly, and told Grell, "Grell, thank you, you have taught Mey-Rin something that I could not. You cannot imagine how much trouble you have saved me." Sebastian did not know what else to say, he wished he knew what he could tell Grell to let him know how grateful he was. It was also surprising, to know that Grell knew how to fold well enough to teach Mey-Rin, he realised that since he had encountered Grell in the market place he had done nothing _but_ surprise him. Sebastian had thought before that Grell was stupid and immature, but recently he had come to discover that Grell _was _stupid and immature at times, but other times he was intelligent and mature – …and very ugly… - but even more beautiful. Sebastian watched with unnatural interest how as he removed the fork from Grell's mouth, that a shining strand of saliva trailed after it before breaking and falling away. He continued watching as Grell chewed his next mouthful in what felt like a trance. He watched with glazed eyes which had reverted to their natural colour, his mouth open, and with an amorous expression. He didn't seem to realise the expression on his face. How humans – Grell especially – _intrigued_ him.

Sebastian finished feeding Grell; he set the trays back on the cart, and turned to look at Mey-Rin who was watching him curiously. "Mey-Rin, would you take that cart to the kitchen? I would like to remain with Grell." Mey-Rin jumped at Sebastian's words, before she nodded frantically, she hurried to load the basket and folded clothes on the cart before leaving as quickly as she could. Sebastian was glad that she was gone. He wanted to be alone with Grell so he could speak and act freely. Sebastian began, with the expression still on his face and his thumbnail in his mouth, "When I informed the young master that I wanted to keep you here until you were well, he told me that once you were healthy he would like you to help the servants of the manor. With a broken wrist, you would not be able to do very much, but perhaps you would like to assist me with my duties? It would not be difficult." Sebastian decided that it was not that he wanted Grell near him; he only wanted to watch over him, to ensure that he was not harmed or that he didn't hide again.

* * *

If Grell hadn't been so focused on the marvellous meal Sebastian was feeding him, he would have noticed the strange expression on the demon's face. Mey-Rin had though, as she had been observing them – having nothing better to look at – she watched with interest as Grell ate pleasurably, while Sebastian fed and observed the shinigami. The demon stared at him with an expression the maid had never seen on Sebastian before – and she was curious as to what he was thinking about. Mey-Rin was trying to think of solutions when Sebastian suddenly interrupted her thoughts, giving her orders to remove the cart from the room. He had mentioned he was going to stay with Grell, causing the maid's nosy nature to become overwhelming – she decided she would return the cart, and come back quickly to sneakily watch what was going to happen. Mey-Rin rushed out of the room after piling the clothes on the cart, so that she wouldn't miss anything.

Grell eyed Sebastian suspiciously as Mey-Rin left the room, he knew that the demon was going to do or say something, so he sat and waited patiently for him to act. The shinigami couldn't help but stare into Sebastian's eyes as they gleamed in their natural colour - the alluring eyes of a demon. He felt slightly uncomfortable under its gaze, why was Sebastian staring at him like that? The shinigami wondered what had influenced his peculiar reaction.

Sebastian suggested Grell's assistance, seeing as Ciel apparently wanted him to put forth some sort of contribution to the manor during his stay. The shinigami normally would have been thrilled to assist Sebastian with his duties, but he couldn't switch his attention away from the demon's face. Grell nodded, indicating that he understood – he wanted to ask why Sebastian was looking at him like that, but he wasn't sure if it was wise – as it would hearten whatever emotion the demon was feeling, which could be a bad thing. But the shinigami wasn't the type to hold back curiosity; he broke eye contact with the demon and looked away.

"I'll do my best." Grell picked his Madame Missy doll up and began playing with the frills on her dress, he could feel the demon's eyes on him, hesitating a bit before asking – "May I ask…why you grace me with such a look?" He almost wished he could take back his words, bringing attention upon the subject probably wasn't the best idea – as attention brought along influence and encouragement, the demon had probably wanted to be acknowledged, or he wouldn't have made his emotion so obvious. The vulnerable shinigami could feel a slight dose of fear, trying not to make eye contact with the demon – as he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what his expression was now.


	38. Chapter 38

Sebastian watched Grell as closely as before as he looked away from him and replied so hesitantly, it was once again, unexpected of the shinigami. It was exciting, though; the faint smell of fear stimulated the demon like a drug – it was intoxicating - and he felt the pain of withdrawals from what he would do naturally as a demon, the same as what he could not do under his contract with Ciel. Sebastian was so _hungry,_ and it was not the uncomfortable feeling in his abdomen that he would often experience in his human body, it was not so easy to satisfy – it was demanding – it was a substance that influenced his every decision, a matter that ran thin in his blood, not only what a demon lived _on_ but what a demon lived _for_. It was a human soul.

Fear smelt the same, the scent did not vary with individuals, and it only came in powerful and weak doses. The fear that Grell produced was so faint, it was difficult to arouse desires so intense that Sebastian would _lose control_ and tear him apart, to devour what was protected and nourished inside his body. It was enough, though, to remind him of the excitement he would experience before eating the soul of a human – there was always fear – every human was afraid to die, and that fear was the source of every other. Grell's nervous attitude was just a small taste of what he _longed_ for. Sebastian wanted to scare Grell just a little more, not too much; a tease was better than nothing.

Sebastian positioned himself on his knees, still facing Grell, and came closer. With the only light in the room coming from the open windows behind Sebastian, when he came closer, he blocked the light and caused a shadow to fall over Grell. "I would appreciate if you would look at me before you speak." Sebastian spoke softly and menacingly. The demon placed one hand on the headboard behind Grell to support his weight, he leaned in closer because of that, and used his other hand to take Grell's chin in his hand and have him face him. He purposely made his actions a little rough. "Does your pretty doll keep your attention better than I do? I, who have sacrificed so much for you lately? If I remember, I was the one who _gave _you that doll."

The demon looked deep into the shinigami's trembling eyes with his own, he heard Grell say his name softly, stumbling on the first syllable, and this inspired the demon to go further. "I find your lack of consideration insulting, and when you insult me you make me _angry,_ Sutcliff." Sebastian paused melodramatically, letting Grell assume the worst, who was looking at him now with such delightful fear that Sebastian couldn't help but smile humorously and laugh lightly.

He had had enough now; he had more important things to do than frighten Grell, and the frantic desire for a soul had been fleeting. He let go of the other's face, and got off of the bed to stand beside it. "You are so _gullible_, I thought that you would recognise when I am and am not being serious." Sebastian told Grell cleverly, offering a hand to help him up from the bed, before he added. "I am done now, please let us go to the washroom to prepare you for this morning, I have an outfit there that will hopefully fit you."

* * *

Grell felt his heart skip a beat when he heard the thud of Sebastian's hand slam on the headboard - trapping him. The demon roughly took his chin in his other hand, forcing him to face him, the shinigami let out a small noise of discomfort before staring fearfully – what was Sebastian _doing_? Grell felt himself shiver at the angry tone Sebastian was speaking in, almost feeling a sort of satisfaction combine with the terrified emotion. The demon spoke so threateningly, so _dominantly_, it sounded as though he could easily do whatever he pleased with the shinigami. Grell could feel his heart beating quicker, fear stirring up in him as he shifted slightly before Sebastian – attempting to release his chin – but only causing him to grip tighter.

"_S-Sebastian…?"_ The shinigami whispered anxiously, trembling out of pure terror, Sebastian's face was very close to his; he could feel the demon's warm breath as he spoke with intent – it was likely that Sebastian planned to do something bad to him – as the demon paused. Grell couldn't even imagine the various frightful things the demon was capable of while the shinigami was in his vulnerable state. He was physically weaker than the demon, trapped against the headboard, and couldn't even use both of his hands. Grell took this immense pleasure in being so _defenceless_, how easily Sebastian could _violate_ his body with abuse, and he was glad that the demon was angry – he couldn't wait for his _punishment_ – even though he also dreaded it. Grell could hear his heart pounding in his head as he shut it eyes – expecting the worst.

But he heard a small laugh instead; the confused shinigami opened his eyes, seeing the apparent smile on the other's lips. Sebastian removed himself from Grell, getting up to stand next to the bed. The shinigami felt suddenly relieved, but also disappointed – he was so looking forward to the negative attention he was about to receive, Grell stared confusedly at the demon. As Sebastian spoke, everything suddenly made sense to Grell. It _was_ a bit of a ridiculous thing to get upset about, and he felt suddenly embarrassed, the shinigami blushed while clutching onto his doll – he had _completely_ fallen for that. He eyed Sebastian's hand distrustfully as it was held out for him to take.

"This isn't another hoax, is it?" Grell asked embarrassedly, placing his smaller, bandaged hand into Sebastian's larger, gloved one.

Mey-Rin had witnessed the entire scene that had just happened, and she wasn't sure what to think. Currently, her nose was bleeding as she watched impatiently – curious as to what was going to happen next. She could almost experience the fear Grell felt as it took place, just by watching. Mey-Rin was anxious, she should be working – but she couldn't resist watching, it was extremely entertaining for her and she had always been the nosy sort.


	39. Chapter 39

Once Grell's hand was secure in Sebastian's, the demon lifted the shinigami from the bed and onto his feet. "I will not try again so soon, that is what you are expecting." Sebastian smiled cunningly, and without another word entered the bathroom with Grell. He shut the door behind them; it was a large bathroom, so they both fit comfortably. With a small pull, Sebastian removed the tie to Grell's robe, and after that was gone Sebastian slid the material off of his shoulders. They were sudden, smooth movements and Grell hardly had time to cry out in surprise. The demon only smiled, and lifted a white blouse off of a nearby countertop where the outfit Sebastian had prepared for him when he first came to the mansion. He held it in front of Grell, and reminded him, "Your illness has passed and you have been eating regularly, but with your bruises and broken wrist, you are still very dependant. I cannot do everything for you, though; I will need you to help me dress you."

Grell seemed to understand what Sebastian had meant, and lifted out his arms, perhaps a little awkwardly as Sebastian put the blouse on him. He buttoned the collar and cuffs of the hands and then began to button the shirt; he started at the top and made his way down, until Sebastian was on his knees with his face near Grell's waist. After the blouse was on securely and neatly, Sebastian took the trousers from the counter, and waited until Grell had lifted his leg so he could slide the limb through, he did the second after the first. He pulled them up his body until they could go no further, and secured the button and zipper. Before he stood again, Sebastian lightly tucked Grell's blouse into his slacks. Once Sebastian was on his feet, he had Grell lift his arms again to put on the black swallowtail coat. He buttoned more swiftly than before, once it was finished adjusting the outfit until it looked very formal. (Perhaps more formal than what was appropriate for Grell.) Sebastian took Grell's hand, and carefully slid a white glove over the bandaged appendage; he did the same for the other. After his hands he did his feet, he had Grell sit down on the toilet so he could dress them in thin, white socks and Grell's high heels that he had left in the bathroom. And with that, he was fully clothed, but Sebastian looked him over and decided that he still wasn't ready. From the counter where Grell had left it, he took up the smaller man's striped bowtie and quickly looped it through the collar and tied a bow around his neck. Sebastian smiled his kitsune smile, perhaps pleased with the way Grell looked now. "Well, you do look very attractive today, Grell. I would like to pull your hair back, though; it is unfortunate that we lost your comb. I am certain that there is a spare brush in this bathroom, I assume that you found it already?"

Sebastian listened as Grell explained that he had already found the brush, but did not want to give it to Sebastian because he could do his hair himself. The butler let out a small sigh and followed him out of the room and into the bedroom, where the shinigami attempted to brush his hair himself. He did not do very well though, so Sebastian sat beside him on the bed and took the brush from his hand; it would take less time this way. Grell would whimper as Sebastian brushed roughly and quickly, and cry out when Sebastian hit a tangle. He noticed this, though, and became gentler and brushed slower so Grell would not be so loud. As he was running the brush through the second layer, having pushed the first over the other's shoulders, he noticed that this brush looked similar to the mirror he had returned last night. It was large and painted gold, with similar patterns, and was a soft-bristle brush to look more elegant. Once he had finished the second layer of Grell's hair, he pulled it all back, and secured it with the hair ribbon from Grell's pocket which he tied into a large, tight bow. As Grell took up his mirror to look at how Sebastian had done his hair, (neat and entirely out of his face, even his bangs pulled back) Sebastian instead examined the brush. He wondered if Grell would want it, as it looked so nice with his mirror.

He smiled to himself, and asked Grell, as the shinigami turned to look at him, "We must begin work now, you will be assisting me, but I reassure you once again that it will not be difficult. Before that, this brush and your mirror complement each other very nicely, as if they belong together. This is only a guest brush, it can be replaced easily, and no one would miss it, would you like it?" He offered Grell the brush by extending it to him, he doubted that the shinigami would be too interested, but Sebastian decided he had liked the way it felt to give Grell a gift before.

* * *

It was strange for Grell to see himself in the mirror with his hair pulled back, the absence of his bangs made things a bit easier to see, as well as giving him an unfamiliar feeling – like he was missing something. The shinigami touched the top of his head, smoothing his hand across his hair. Grell thought his glasses kind of clashed with his current appearance, he felt as though he looked strange altogether. He turned his head towards Sebastian when he heard him speak, giving him his attention because he was probably going to be setting him to work now. The shinigami appeared taken aback by the demon's gift, before his expression was replaced with a large, overjoyed smile. Grell quickly took the brush with joy, wiggling out of excitement.

"Oh Sebastian! How did you _know_?" Grell giggled bubbly before continuing. "I cherished this brush ever since I saw it! I didn't think I'd actually get to _keep_ it!" Perhaps the shinigami had taken it a bit too seriously, as he embraced the demon with a happy hug. "Thank you Sebas-chan! You've been giving me so many presents, you're so _nice_!" Grell quickly let go before Sebastian could push him off, laying the mirror and the brush on the bedside table. He picked up his Madame Missy and adjusted his glasses, before smiling at the demon again. "I'm ready to go now."

Grell tried to be as useful as possible; Sebastian had put in a lot for him so he thought he could at least do his very best. Though there wasn't that much for him to do, he mostly just followed Sebastian around, and occasionally would get him tools he needed or assist him in small, easy jobs. Grell would ask the demon a lot (perhaps a bit too much) if he needed help (because he really wanted to help) but he usually didn't (he really needed to learn to accept "no" as an answer). After a few hours, Sebastian gave him a bag of tools to carry around, because that was what he was most useful for. He would occasionally chat with Mey-Rin - if he saw her - and sometimes the other servants, usually as he waited for Sebastian to finish doing something that he couldn't be involved in, such as serving Ciel in some way – because apparently the child didn't want Grell in his sight. The shinigami carried his Madame Missy with him the whole time, Sebastian said he could as long as it didn't become a distraction, and if it did then he was going to make him put it away- but Grell hadn't messed up because of her yet!

Many hours had passed, and Grell found himself back in his guest bed again. The shinigami had worked the whole day (excluding when Sebastian had fed him), bathed, and had his bandages replaced. The shinigami wore Sebastian's robe again tonight, holding his Madame Missy as he had last night to sleep with her. Grell didn't even realise until today what a stressful job Sebastian had, how he managed to put up with it for so long was astounding. He was glad that he could make his job a bit easier, even if not by that much. It didn't take too long for the shinigami to fall asleep, his day had been very long and he was tired.

A few more hours had passed until it was about 3:00 AM, Grell had woken up a few minutes ago from a nightmare, and lay frightened under the covers. It was very dark, besides the faint reflection of moonlight that glazed the room.

The shinigami had nightmares often, they varied from many things. Sometimes he would relive certain moments of his life, and make them appear far more disturbing and frightening than they may have already been. He relived his death many times, as well as other dreadful memories, like when he slaughtered Angelina. These were a few things that disturbed the shinigami, his father and Angelina would probably haunt him forever, two people that he both loved and hated at the same time. Many of his nightmares he found himself alone, loneliness was something that the shinigami truly feared. The shinigami didn't realise how serious his abandonment issues were, or how tightly the orphan clung to William like a child, how desperately he was starved for attention and affection.

Grell couldn't sleep, he wanted to find Sebastian, he wanted to find _someone_. The shinigami slowly got out of his bed, taking his Madame Missy with him. He stumbled on his robe while trying to find the door, feeling the walls for support because he couldn't rely on vision in the dark without his glasses. Once the shinigami found and opened the door, he realised it was even darker in the hallways than it was in the room.

Grell went outside anyway, leaving his door open. It was practically pitch, only scarcely lit up in certain areas by the moonlight. He began walking in the direction he thought would lead him down the hallway, clinging to his doll as he squinted to see – only blurs of black with slight doses of silver that revealed slight outlines of the objects surrounding. The shinigami became more frightened as he walked, he felt as if he was in a world of nothing, completely silent and everything was still. Grell wasn't sure where he was in the manor now; this place was very large, and he couldn't feel anything around him.

"S-Sebastian…?" The shinigami asked innocently like a lost little girl, he felt so small and everything felt so big, he was terrified, he should have just stayed in his room. He felt his delicate shoulders trembling, and his eyes began tearing up. He felt as if he fell out of the world, and was lost in the dark; he also had a disturbing feeling that something was following him – watching him. He continued to walk for a while, he felt around but he never touched anything but air. Grell sat down on the floor, his knees up to his chest as he began crying softly. He wished someone would find him, he felt as if he didn't exist, he couldn't hear, feel, or see _anything_.


	40. Chapter 40

_Fear smelt the same, the scent did not vary with individuals, and it only came in powerful and weak doses._

The fear that Grell produced now was much stronger than the nervous thrill Sebastian had inspired earlier that morning. If Sebastian had not been following Grell since the time he had left his room, and had been in the kitchen or his own room as he normally would have been in his free time, then even his superior nose would not have been able to catch the powerful scent. Sebastian had finished his nightly rounds, and was on the second floor as he made his way down the stairs, preparing to find a large, empty space (like the kitchen or his bedroom, as previously mentioned, were large, almost-empty spaces.) to spend the rest of the night in when he saw a door open further down the hall. (Sebastian could see in the dark, as previously mentioned.) The demon watched in curiosity as he saw Grell step out of his room, he could hear the shuffling of his feet, and could smell a faint fear. He may have approached and inquired as to why he left his room, but he didn't, he instead pressed himself against a wall as Grell walked past him uncertainly. He had his free hand (his right arm was holding his doll to his body, so he used his left) extended to try and feel his surroundings, and Sebastian remembered that all humans, even Grell, could not see anything in the dark. He was trying to rely on his sense of touch to imagine what his surroundings were.

So Sebastian followed him, and he wandered, occasionally pausing to sniffle and rub his eyes or feel for his surroundings for a basic idea of where to go, but the hall was so broad that he couldn't reach anything. Sebastian always made sure that he was far enough away so that Grell's outstretched hand wouldn't reach him. Grell called out Sebastian's name once, but the demon ignored him, he wasn't ready to reveal himself. The further Grell walked, the more frightened he became. Sebastian could smell his fear increasing until he was in a silent-panic. The shinigami sat on his knees in the hall and began to cry, it was almost embarrassing to watch as it was so ultimately pathetic, but it was also pitiful. Sebastian decided that he would let Grell know he was here, he came closer until he was directly behind him, once he was there he knelt down and tapped his shoulder lightly and spoke softly so he wouldn't alarm him. "Grell, what are you doing here? It is very early; you should not be awake yet." Before Grell had time to answer, Sebastian turned the shinigami to face him and lifted him in his arms, the way he had before when he had rescued him from the warehouse. He stood still with him for a short while, listening to Grell's clockwork now that his body was so close to his own. He could hear the busy hum of his mind, the frantic beating of his heart, the inhale and exhale of his lungs, the churning on his stomach, the contracting of his intestines, and louder than any of these the soft sobbing in his ear.

He turned around, and began to walk slowly back to Grell's bedroom, if Grell had anything to say he had time to say it now. If he chose to wait until they were both in his bedroom, Sebastian may choose to leave before he had time to say anything.

* * *

Grell felt suddenly relieved at the sound of Sebastian's voice, and felt himself being lifted by the demon as if he were weightless. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and his legs around his waist – exposing part of his white limbs due to the design of the robe. He clung to Sebastian like a child as he held him, resting his head on the faint outline of his shoulder – sobbing softly as his fear slowly weakened. Sebastian stood there for a few moments, before walking slowly back down the hall. Grell trembled and fidgeted in his embrace, his hair swaying lightly as Sebastian walked – brushing against the demon's legs. The shinigami felt much safer with Sebastian holding him, and the fear he felt earlier was gradually melting – being replaced with an emotion he wasn't sure he could describe. He also sensed slight déjà vu, for some reason this scene seemed familiar – being held this way in a dark place.

"I had a bad dream…" Grell spoke gently; his words were soft and delicate – with a slight hint of fear. "It scared me, Sebastian, and I couldn't get back to sleep." Remembering it brought more tears to Grell's eyes, and he clung a bit tighter to Sebastian.

"I wanted to see you…" The volume of the shinigami's last statement seemed to decrease as he spoke until it was nearly a whisper, almost as if he was unsure if he should have said it or not. Grell hadn't a clue what Sebastian was thinking right now, probably nothing complex though.

Grell didn't ever want to let go of Sebastian, he felt so wonderful in his arms – it was a strange feeling that he wasn't familiar with. The shinigami's sobs were dying down until they were mostly just tears and occasional sniffing. He felt as if he had been rescued, he wasn't sure from what – but Sebastian was his darling knight.

"Thank you for saving me, Sebastian…" The shinigami mumbled softly, almost to himself. He felt himself relax some on the demon, a small smile apparent on his lips despite the tears that didn't seem to stop coming.


	41. Chapter 41

AN: I will introduce new characters soon! I appreciate all of my readers but I want to shout out to watergoddeskasey, yoisy, and thearcanaquotes for so many reviews! - Madame Stephanie

* * *

Sebastian entered Grell's room again; the demon felt that he had done this more than he should have in the time since the shinigami had been brought to the manor, likely because Grell had difficulty staying in one place for very long, and Sebastian would have to fetch him and bring him back. Sebastian paused before the side of Grell's bed and untangled the alabaster limbs from his neck and waist, so he could set their owner gently on the feather mattress, Sebastian sat down beside him afterward. He decided that he would comfort him; Sebastian wanted to be certain that Grell went to sleep and remained sleeping, rather than waking again from another nightmare, which could have multiple consequences. It was not difficult, either, to soothe a human in a state like Grell's that was influenced by a nightmare.

So Sebastian positioned himself on his knees, faced Grell, and came close enough to where he could take the shinigami in his arms so that he could hold him soothingly against his chest. He used his long, bony fingers to wipe at the hot tears that slid down Grell's smooth cheeks, all the while watching him in an almost-indifferent manner. "What was it that frightened you so badly? You told me that you had an upsetting dream, but a dream is only a dream, and will be gone as soon as you open your eyes and come to your senses." Sebastian tightened his arms around the younger, smaller man and smiled contemplatively as he remembered that he was holding a reaper in his arms, rather than a human, it was difficult to believe with his behaviour. "Was it the dark that I found you in, very much like the dark that surrounds us now? You should know that there is nothing in the dark here that can hurt you, not while I am protecting this manor house and you as well." Sebastian would never have guessed that it had not been the idea of what may be hidden in the dark that had frightened Grell, but rather the idea of ceasing to exist. "Whatever your reason was, if you wanted to see me, you did not have to look for me. You could have used the chain in this room that would have summoned me here, or if that was not available, as long as you are a guest here I am not only the young master's butler but _yours._ I am not any butler either, I am one hell of a butler, and would have been at your side if you had so much as whispered my name."

Sebastian, with a clever smile still on his face, kissed Grell delicately on his temple. He remained there for a short while, feeling the other's pulse tickle his lips, before he drew them away and laid Grell down against his pillows. He pulled the covers until they were at his chin, and positioned himself lightly on the edge of the bed. "If you would like me to, I will remain here until you are asleep again." There was no candle lit to extinguish, it had been dark when they entered, and it was dark still, other than the natural light shining through the open window which danced with the curtains in the wind.

...

It had taken Grell less than an hour to get to sleep again, and he imagined that this time he would not awaken. The butler spent the rest of his free-time in his bedroom, empty of everything but furniture, relaxing on his covers until Sebastian imagined that the sun had risen. This new day passed very much like the day before, with Sebastian performing his usual duties as a butler, assisting Grell, and having Grell assist him in return with simple tasks. He completed most of them adequately, with the exception of Grell handing him a potato masher when he asked for a whisk.

The day after that Grell asked to do more than hand Sebastian tools, he asked to wash and fold clothes with Mey-Rin, to water the budding flowers in the spring garden, and to assist Sebastian with his cooking (the last request he refused immediately) and other small jobs that would have been simple if he had had his right hand available to use. Even with his broken wrist though, Grell quickly became a useful addition to the household. Sebastian was very impressed; perhaps he had managed to teach him a _few_ things when Madame Angelina (or Madame Red) had brought him over as her butler for training. So the day after that, the fifth day since Sebastian had brought Grell to the manor, and the first week since he had encountered Grell and William at the marketplace, he entered Grell's room early that morning with his breakfast (as usual) to discover that he wasn't there.

From experience, Sebastian knew he had nothing to worry about; it was certainly not the first time that Grell had left his room without informing Sebastian. He did not appreciate that, but he knew that even if he told Grell otherwise, he wouldn't listen. William must have had such a stressful job, as he was the man who usually managed Grell, but even if he was disobedient he was amusing if not good company. So he looked for him, but Sebastian couldn't find Grell in the manor, so he decided to look outside. Spring had replaced winter quickly and the earliest flowers, such as the daffodils, were blooming and swaying colourfully in the warm wind. Sebastian passed through the tall wooden doors and down the stone steps, the sides of which were green with ivy and dotted with their coloured flowers, into the main garden. He found Grell still in his silk robe, on his stomach and with his porcelain legs in the air swaying, as he slowly and carefully tied a freshly-picked flower into a wide ring. He had a similar crown of flowers on his own head and braided into his vibrant hair, with pollen on his fingers and on the tip of his nose, as he sung softly to himself a song that Sebastian did not recognise.

Sebastian smiled in exasperation as he stepped forward. "I am unsure if you do not listen to what I tell you to do, if you do not remember, or if you do not care. Whichever it is, I have told you before not to leave your room without my permission, not to leave your room in that robe, and not to pick the flowers." Sebastian did not speak angrily, but almost amusedly, as he knelt down beside Grell to see what he was making.

* * *

Winter had finally passed and Grell had been excited to see the colours of spring outside his window – it looked a beautiful day - sunny and breezy, pollen in the air, bright flowers coming into bloom. The shinigami couldn't have stayed inside, he had been in the house for far too long, and he wanted to play outside.

So Grell had snuck into the garden, the Phantomhive Manor's garden was magnificent (he had been there once or twice to water the flowers) he loved the wide variety of flowers and plants, and many butterflies could be seen there. The shinigami had found himself a comfy spot in the grass near one of the flowerbeds, the flowers here were a perfect assortment of colours for making flower crowns. He rolled up his long robe up to his knees before he sat down, to keep it from getting grass stained or wet with dew. He picked a lovely red flower, and brought it to his nose to smell its gentle floral scent. A bit of pollen had touched the shinigami's nose, but he didn't seem to notice what it had left behind. Grell tucked the flower behind his ear, and began picking more flowers that he liked (in an extensive range of colours and breeds) while braiding them into his hair. He smiled as a butterfly flew past him, landing in the flowerbed that the shinigami was playing in.

After Grell finished his hair, he began weaving other flowers together (very slowly and carefully since he only had one good hand) – using only ones that were red, orange, or white in colour. He would occasionally tie in a large green leaf or flower petal, or a patch of red berries – lacing them together to make a beautiful, elegant craft. It was a slow process, and Grell found himself singing various nursery rhymes as he crafted the circlet, while changing positions from time to time. Birds nearby sang along with Grell, and butterflies fluttered around the shinigami. Once he had finished, the shinigami gleefully placed the crown on his head – Grell was a very crafty person, and it had come out marvellously, it had actually resulted better than the shinigami had thought. He was so pleased with the first crown he made, that he wanted to make another one – he could give it to Sebastian as a gift! The shinigami used flowers that were blue, purple, and white in colour for this one, black berry patches, and large dark green leaves.

It was still early and the morning sunshine illuminated Grell's skin - making it appear to glow golden-white, his braided hair shined magnificently as pollen danced in the fresh air. There was a kind smell in the air, clean and floral – making it very pleasant to breathe. Grell remembered how he would go into the shinigami garden often in the morning during the spring, it was such a wonderful time to be in the garden, he was glad that he could enjoy Sebastian's while he was here. The shinigami sang once again while he worked on his knight's crown, positioning himself on his stomach, lifting his dew-dropped legs into the air with a gentle swing. A small, white butterfly landed on the shinigami's flower crown, resting on one of the flowers that he had tied into it. Grell didn't notice it was there, as he continued to craft his second crown.

He was sewing the last flower onto the circlet when he heard footsteps, then Sebastian's voice. Grell stopped singing and looked at him for a moment, taking in his appearance. The shinigami smiled, and then sat up quickly; the butterfly flew away out of fear from the sudden movement.

"Sebastian!" Grell shouted excitedly as he stared at the demon with an overjoyed expression. He took Sebastian's hands in his own, intertwining the demons fingers with his pollen-tipped ones. He wore his second flower crown (which he had just finished) like a large bracelet.

"I'm sorry, Sebas-chan." The shinigami apologised. "But I've been inside for so long, and the world looked so lovely outside my window!" Grell looked into the demon's eyes with his own, which were much brighter from the sunlight. "Besides, a lady needs her sunshine every once and a while, it's good for the skin." Grell's smile grew, as he realised that he could give Sebastian his gift now. The shinigami squeezed Sebastian's hands before letting go, taking his second crown into his hand and presenting it in front of the demon.

"See, Sebastian?" Grell spoke eagerly, with much enthusiasm. "The flowers _didn't_ go to waste, it's a crown! And I made it just for you~" The shinigami giggled bubbly while placing the flower crown on Sebastian's head. "And see, Sebastian? I have a crown too! Just like a _princess_!" Grell said excitedly, with a happy smile on his face; he expected that he would receive some sort of praise for his gift, until he thought of a better idea.

"Sebastian… I want a kiss, can I have a kiss?" The shinigami asked innocently, obviously hinting nothing more than a kiss from the other. Grell looked up at him hopefully, with a pretty smile on his face. He didn't expect Sebastian would _actually_ kiss him, but it was worth a try – the only time he ever got a kiss was when he paid Knox to practice kissing on (in case he _ever_ got in a relationship) and he really wanted to kiss Sebastian. But even though he was in doubt that Sebastian would even kiss him, he still felt nervous.


	42. Chapter 42

Sebastian accepted Grell's flower crown curiously, when it was secure on his head he felt it gently with his right hand, the tips of his fingers brushed over the blackberries, leaves, and many flowers which included one large, white rose. "A princess? Well, you are certainly a silly princess. If you are a princess, I am a knight, and what knight may wear a crown? I am unworthy of your gift, as you should know." Sebastian did not ignore Grell's request of a kiss, but he did not fulfil his desire immediately. Sebastian instead stood up from his crouch and took Grell's hand in his own so he could stand before him. From there, Sebastian wrapped his left arm around Grell's small waist to pull him close and used his right hand to grasp his chin and tilt his face up to look into the demon's eyes. "You are not only a silly princess, you are a beautiful princess, there is nothing that the maidens or princesses in fairy tales have that you do not. You have small, dainty feet that are ideal for glass slippers, like Cinderella. You have skin as white as snow that brings out the red of your lips and cheeks, like Snow White. You have thick, long locks and coils of hair that are strong enough to climb, like Rapunzel. You have vivid, red clothing that will attract both wolves and demons with intentions to eat from your basket or of your flesh, like Little Red Riding Hood. And you are like Beauty, who fell for the Beast." Sebastian closed his eyes and took Grell's soft lips roughly in his own dry ones; he acknowledged his request and more, as he bit on his lower lip. Grell responded by opening his mouth just wide enough for Sebastian to insert his long tongue, who avoided Grell's sharp teeth and danced with his tongue. As Sebastian had expected, Grell was an excellent kisser.

He was loud, also, as he moaned into the kiss. It was such an attractive sound, if this was only a kiss, he wanted to know what he would sound like during intercourse. This kiss was very different from the kiss Sebastian had given Grell before, this kiss was real, there was no medicine in Sebastian's mouth and no purpose other than Grell's request. Lust and greed, the second and fourth deadly sins, how _good_ it felt to indulge in them! Sebastian groaned himself, unaware of the sound he had made in his desire, as his left hand that had been previously resting on the small of Grell's back, slid down to caress his lower body. Grell made a much louder sound of surprise than the moan from before and broke away from Sebastian, his arms which had been around Sebastian's neck now pressed against the demon's chest as he breathed heavily from the passionate kissing of before and the sudden, sexual contact. Grell opened his mouth to breathe his name fearfully, but Sebastian quickly pressed his right index finger against his open lips, which were moist with Sebastian's saliva. "Not a word, my princess, would you mind if I called you that? I have something more important to say. I am your knight, I may have rescued you, but it is not the knight who marries the princess even if she loves him. The princess will always be married to a prince, anyone else is undeserving. I want you to remember that." Sebastian returned his hands to their sides and took a step back, so there was an appropriate distance between them, before he gave Grell a small bow. "I have nothing else to say for that subject. I do, though, concerning the rest of our day. May we return to your room so that I may feed and dress you? I imagine that today will be as any other."

...

Sebastian, for once, was wrong. Today was not a day as any other, today was the day that William T. Spears came to return Grell to the Ministry of Hades. William had originally decided that he would wait a week before he went to find Grell, as he may have returned before then without assistance, but as he hadn't and today was the last day before William went to look for him, he decided he would skip his lunch break and find his dispatcher. William was a dispatch manager, after all. It would not have much if any effect on him, as William often skipped his lunch break so that he could work through it. He had left at 11:00 AM when the dispatchers and dispatch managers had their lunch hour and it was almost 12:00 AM when William entered the gates of the Phantomhive Manor.

* * *

Rachael Brown watched as William left through the doors of the Ministry of Hades cafeteria; before William had left he informed her that he would be skipping his lunch break in order to retrieve his dispatcher – Grell Sutcliff. In most eyes, William would have appeared calm and collected, but Rachael could see beyond the typical demeanour that he naturally presented himself in. He was distressed. She could tell through small things such as the way he didn't make eye-contact with her while he spoke; this was displaying to her that he had no interest in what her reaction may have been, because he was very set on retrieving Grell and wasn't going to change his mind. She could also tell through his voice, though mostly the same he spoke slightly faster than usual, and she detected a shortage of breath compared to his usual manner of speaking - he was obviously in a hurry. William's distress was also clear through simple details such as how he didn't have an appetite for lunch, and how quickly he had left.

Of course, Rachael had known William almost her entire existence as a shinigami, so she understood him very well; they had been dispatchers together under the same Dispatch Manager once upon a time. They were good friends, and still were, as well as fellow Dispatch Managers. William would often confide in her and speak to her about his problems when he was uncertain about how to handle a situation, which was most typically regarding Grell. It wasn't uncommon for him to have problems with Grell, discussing these problems with him actually helped her understand Grell more than what was necessary for herself, but necessary for William. Even though he and Grell had so many conflicts with one another, they always managed to pull through in the end – it was a strange relationship they had. William had actually left a day earlier than he had originally planned to recover Grell. She tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear that must have escaped from her bun as she pondered in thought. Rachael was a dispatch manager as well, so she tried to imagine how she would have felt if her most loved dispatcher had been left in untrustworthy hands without hearing any news of them since. She thought of Caleb, who was similar to William's Grell – both troublesome and treasured.

Rachael had finished her lunch, she stood up from her table and left for the lounge, she decided she would just relax there and continue her thoughts while she waited for William and – hopefully - Grell to arrive back at the Ministry. She didn't care much for Grell himself, but she knew that Grell was an important part of William and that he probably wouldn't be the person he was today if it wasn't for the dispatcher. So Rachael hoped he was safe, for the sake of William who would never be the same if he were to permanently leave this world.

...

Meanwhile, Grell had been left to scrub the windows on the second floor - Sebastian had dressed and fed him already, afterwards putting him straight to work. The shinigami sat down on his knees in front of a large window that viewed the Phantomhive Manor's lovely front yard. Grell couldn't even think clearly, no one had _ever_ kissed him like that, said anything like Sebastian had said to him, and most certainly never touched him like that – and it was all _real_ - Sebastian was being serious, and this was still reality. The shinigami was blushing as he remembered it, and his heart was beating quickly. Grell was so confused; he couldn't understand where such passion had developed in Sebastian towards him, he almost couldn't believe it.

Sebastian thought he was _beautiful_, he heard him say it once again, it almost brought tears to his eyes as he remembered – it was such a wonderful thing to hear. He wished that he hadn't gotten so nervous, what if he never had a moment like that with Sebastian again? He should have taken advantage of it, made it last as long as possible. But instead he got uncomfortable (even though he loved it) and broke the kiss – which he regretted – it was such a perfect kiss, Sebastian had even used his tongue!

Grell set his Madame Missy carefully on the floor next to him, deciding he should start scrubbing the windows now. The shinigami got his washcloth wet in a bucket of soapy water, wiping down the windows slowly with his good hand as his thoughts rapidly rushed through his mind. As he was cleaning the window though, he saw something outside that he wasn't expecting to see – was that William? The shinigami moved his face closer to the window to get a better view; it most definitely was - he was carrying his death scythe as he walked quickly towards the front doors of the Phantomhive Manor.

This was bad, William was going to be _so_ mad at him – he always got unreasonably angry when Grell involved himself in any way with Sebastian. The shinigami was sure he had so many hours to make up by this point, he hadn't even thought about how much work he was going to have to do when he went home (Grell hadn't really thought about returning home much at all). He frowned as he dropped the washcloth into the bucket, picking up his Madame Missy as he watched William come closer and closer to the door. Grell didn't _want_ to go home! He was having such a nice time here with Sebastian, and William was no fun when he was angry.

The shinigami rushed down the stairs with his doll, and into the main room where William would be coming in. He saw Sebastian was already in this room, as if he were expecting William. Grell hid under a decorative table that was propped against the wall so that he could witness what was going to happen, he wondered fearfully how this was going to turn out, as he got himself into a less obvious position so that he would appear more hidden.


	43. Chapter 43

William entered through the front doors of the Phantomhive Manor without knocking or ringing the bell, which was most unlike William, but for the dispatch manager there was little that he wouldn't do for Grell in his current mind-frame. He would have ascended the stairs but Sebastian was standing in front of them. William slowed and then paused, the sunlight from the open windows reflected on his glasses and hid his eyes from view, but Sebastian could feel the powerful emotion radiating from the man – fear, anxiety, anger, determination – it was unexpected, but not impossible. Sebastian did not react to these, instead he acted as he would if William were any common guest, he bowed low and said politely, "Hello and welcome to the Phantomhive Manor, my name is Sebastian Michaelis, how may -"

William did not allow Sebastian to finish his sentence; he aimed and extended his death scythe threateningly until the blade was between Sebastian's eyes. The demon only smiled and let William continue. "I do not have time for your games, demon, rather than welcome to your master's damned manor I demand information on the only thing here of my concern. My dispatcher, Grell Sutcliff, what have you done with him?" William was distraught, Sebastian could hear it in his voice, he was curious what William imagined he had done to him. A look into his mind would have shown warped images of the demon breaking both of his legs and throwing him into a ditch so he could die of thirst or starvation, or the demon tying him to a tree before raping him and leaving him there for wild animals to eat, or the demon tying heavy stones to both of his skinny legs and throwing him in a pond to watch him drown. William could hardly stay calm enough to present himself before the demon the way he was now.

Sebastian knew that William was serious so he straightened himself to his full height from his bow, and spoke quickly while the death scythe which was once between his eyes was now poised uncomfortably close to his throat. "I took Grell to the doctor's, as I told you I would, and when we arrived there an enemy of mine was waiting for me. He had killed the doctor and his assistant, and because he had killed on my territory, I fought him. He fought unfairly and wounded me grievously, and kidnapped Grell." William inhaled sharply and was about to leave to rescue him unnecessarily from a second demon, but Sebastian stopped him. "It took me two days to rescue him. I killed the demon and brought him back to this manor, where I cleaned him, dressed him, and treated him of all of his injuries. I would have returned him after that, but he was very ill and his right wrist was broken. I have kept him here under my care and supervision, and I would like to say that he is perhaps healthier now than he was when I took him from you, if you would excuse his broken wrist."

William did not answer immediately, his face hid his emotion well, and he waited for Sebastian to continue. He did, Sebastian looked to the decorative table where Grell was hidden and called out, "Come here, would you, my princess?" At his call Grell crawled out from underneath the table and approached Sebastian cautiously until he was standing beside him. William sighed in relief; he lowered his death scythe and took a step forward, and asked Grell in a voice that may have been higher and more emotional than William's usual monotone. "Grell, you're alive." He sounded almost as though he doubted it were possible. "I have been so worried about you. Come now, I'm taking you home." It was like William to understate just how worried he had been about his dispatcher. It may have been a happy reunion, if Sebastian had not interfered before Grell had time to respond. Grell was at Sebastian's side; he was close enough for Sebastian to put an arm around his waist and pull him against his chest, so that he stumbled forward and wrapped his arms around Sebastian for support. A wicked smile was on Sebastian's face as he informed William, "Princess Grell does not want to leave for your castle, William T. Spears, she has been having such a nice time here. She sleeps in a soft bed for as late as she likes, she eats milk and honey and the addictive lotus flower, and I treat her with more love and respect than you ever have."

William reacted immediately, he thrust his death scythe forward without aiming, and Sebastian had to move out of the way to avoid it running him through. He laughed softly to himself, and placed a hand on William's death scythe which now separated him from Grell. Sebastian added unnecessarily as William reached forward and took Grell's hand to leave with him. "Which are unlike the conditions she experiences with you. She sleeps in a hard bed and must wake early to work difficult jobs, she eats the bare minimum for survival and hardly enough to maintain her underweight body, and for all that she does for your affection you treat her with indifference. When she is content, she does a lot more work, she has been very useful. If you would treat her that way, she may act differently." William was not listening; he was already leaving for the front doors with Grell, when his dispatcher pulled away from him. It was surprising. William had not expected Grell to reject him that way. He felt a pain in his chest, and he turned to look at Grell unbelievingly, who was taking a few steps away from him. He told him that he needed to retrieve some things from his room, somewhat uncomfortably, before he ran quickly up the stairs.

Even though Grell's action had been explained, the pain in his chest still remained, it was light but it was enough to keep a frown on his face. He realised it had not been that Grell had pulled away from him; it was that Grell had been healthy enough in his time here to return to him, but he had stayed without informing him that he was even alive. He doubted that with what the demon had said that Grell had even thought about him since he had come here. With his realisation the pain worsened drastically, and William had to bite his lip to hold back tears, of anger or sadness he didn't know.

When Grell came down the stairs with his arms full - of his jacket, doll, mirror, book, brush, and robe – William knew that he hadn't had all of those things when he had left the Ministry of Hades a week ago. If William had felt sad before he was angry now, his fist clenched and unclenched tightly at his side. What was the demon doing? It was not in a demon's nature to treat humans, or anything resembling humans, to kind words, actions, or gifts outside of a contract or their games. He wanted to tell Grell to leave behind those gifts, and he would, but not now. He would wait until they returned to the Ministry before he took them away.

William knew that Grell would follow him, so he left before he was at the bottom of the stairs; he was already walking down the long path through the Phantomhive grounds and woods to the sidewalk by the time Grell was out the front doors. Grell ran lightly to walk beside him, it was a fast pace, so it was a fast walk. William was too angry to look at Grell now, he was not so angry that he could not speak, though "I am very angry with you, Sutcliff. I know that you are intelligent enough to listen to what I tell you to do, but you never do. I am certain that I have told you before to inform me of where you are going, or where you are if you were unable to tell me before, but you have been there for the past five days and have told me nothing. I have also told you that if you are able to work, you should be working, and instead you were slacking off _again_ and this time with a demon! This may have been acceptable when you were ill, but you should have come back to me as soon as you could, but you are too selfish to have considered that. I doubt that you thought about me _once_ while you were there or how I may have been beside myself with worry for your life! You need to be more _responsible_, Sutcliff, you are not a child - even if you act like one – you are an adult and have a very important job, not only for yourself, but for the entire human race!"

...

It took them almost an hour to return to the Ministry of Hades and by then William had been gone for far longer than he had intended. Once they had entered through the front doors to the lounge, William slowed to a walk and then to a stop, and stood for a short while to catch his breath, he had left for the Ministry so quickly that he was rather out of breath. As soon as he felt well enough to talk, he faced Grell for the first time during their entire walk and took everything he had been carrying out of his arms. (All except the jacket.) "These are gifts from a demon, Sutcliff, and I don't want them in your possession. I will be putting them in the rubbish bin where they belong."

* * *

Grell merely listened and remained silent as William lectured him on their way back home, he attempted to keep up with him – but it was kind of difficult considering he was carrying a lot of things (the best he could) with his broken wrist. He lagged behind a bit, but it wasn't enough to not hear and understand clearly everything that William said. He made a lot of points – good points, and Grell felt bad about it, he really should have informed William somehow about his whereabouts, but even if he did he probably would have come to pick him up, and maybe Grell didn't want that to happen. It was selfish, perhaps, like William had mentioned, but who _wouldn't_ want a break from a stressful lifestyle to be treated like a princess by their admired one? Especially after the hurtful experience from before - when he had been kidnapped and abused by that wicked demon.

But it was so like William to point out _everything_ that Grell had done wrong, and shove it in his face. Grell knew that William had heard about what had happened to him from Sebastian, as he had been nearby to witness it. But William didn't even bother to mention anything about it, or even ask how he broke his wrist, or if he was even _okay_. He didn't bother to ask if he had thought about him, William just assumed that he didn't. Grell _had_ actually - maybe not as much as he would have liked – but Grell had been distracted by all of the sweet affection and care that Sebastian had given to him, it was something that was so new to him – and so wonderful. He wished that he could be dependent more often, he would just _love_ to belong to someone wholly – he was so _tired_ of being independent and lonely. He gazed at William longingly, as he looked straight ahead of him and moved at a fast pace. Grell wished that he would look at him, why did he always have to be so angry with him? He felt as if he were just a burden to William, he rarely seemed happy to see him, and was always pointing out his flaws, he rarely told him if he looked nice that day or that he did a good job whenever he did. The shinigami felt a swell in his chest, as he forced back tears from the unfairness of it all.

Eventually they reached the Ministry of Hades, but William didn't stop until they were securely in the main building – in the lounge. Grell didn't notice Rachael Brown as she was seated on one of the sofas with a book, now currently watching them. William stood there for a few moments to catch his breath, Grell did the same, until William finally faced him – snatching all of the things he was carrying in his arms, excluding his jacket. He then explained his reason for doing so, before turning to dispose of his gifts. The shinigami wore a look of worry and distress as he ran after William, getting close enough to insure that he heard him.

"Will! Please don't, _please_ give them back." The shinigami begged, but William ignored his plea, continuing to move forward. "Will!" Grell shouted again, feeling tears coming. "That's not _fair_! Those are mine! They're very special to me!" He heard himself sob, watching William continue to walk as he felt himself giving up, he fell to his knees, sobbing hysterically as he put his face in his bandaged hands, as he breathed in a muffled voice. "Why, William! Why do you have to make me _feel_ this way?" Grell _hated_ this place, the moment he got back all he felt was hurt, he wished he could just disappear and be back with Sebastian, he made him feel so loved and appreciated. The shinigami remembered how he was able to comfort him when he was scared, and when he was doubtful – he remembered how he told him he was _beautiful_. Grell missed him already, and now he couldn't even keep the gifts that he had given to him!

But then he felt all of his gifts fall into his lap, some sliding off and landing on the floor – the shinigami looked up to see William, as he gave up and said heatedly that he didn't care anymore. William walked up the stairs to go to his office, and Grell was left behind. His sobbing slowly decreased to a more silent crying, as he picked up his doll with relief – holding her clingingly as he trembled from his previous breakdown.

Rachael had been observing this scene. She knew that Grell had a unique or even unhealthy mentality, so she wasn't too surprised with his reaction to William. Rachael stood up from the sofa she had been seated on, and gently approached the shinigami who was trembling and whispering sweet nothings to his Madame Missy, after his earlier frenzied state. She kneeled before him, examining the gifts from a demon that surrounded the shinigami now - A red Madame Missy doll, a beautifully crafted brush and mirror couple, a book of fairy tales, and a lovely red silk night robe. These looked like very expensive, romantic gifts to her, why would a demon give such things to a shinigami? Grell had said that these were very special to him – she could understand why William was concerned, but Grell probably didn't understand.

"Grell," She considered Grell's fragile state, so she spoke softly. "Maybe you can't imagine it right now, but William has been distressed this entire week about you. You have always been on his mind, and he hasn't been working as well as he usually does when you're around. He talks about you a lot when I speak to him – you should try to consider William's situation while you were gone, maybe he doesn't express it through gifts and the like, but he cares for you more than you know." Rachael couldn't help but have some sympathy for Grell, he just looked so pitiful. She noticed how both of his hands were bandaged; it made her wonder what he had gone through – the damage was very contradicting with the gifts.

"I don't know what you've been through, Grell, and I know that you may not have wanted to come back, but I assure you that you are safe here, and there _are_ people who care about you." She waited, to see if he would respond, but he didn't even look at her. Grell listened to everything she was saying, but didn't say anything back, he appeared to be deep in thought. Rachael didn't think she was going to get a response from him, so she decided she would give him some time to himself. "I want you to think about what I said, goodbye Grell."

Rachael left Grell and walked up the stairs after William, she decided she would speak with him. He was probably stressed, and she imagined he might want to talk to someone about it. Once she reached William's office, she adjusted her frameless glasses before knocking lightly on the door, opening it and entering with a soft smile on her face.

"Mr. Spears." She approached his desk, sitting down in one of the armchairs that were placed in front of it – William was currently drinking some tea, waiting for her to continue. "I was in the room when you returned with your dispatcher… You must be stressed; I thought maybe you would appreciate my company?" She couldn't help but notice his desk because of all of the small, colourful gifts from Grell that were on it. She saw three handmade cards standing on his desk – without even the smallest patch of white on them. William's fancy coffee cup which had a knitted coffee cup holder in pastel colours – with the word "BABA" knitted into it. Two knitted candle-holders for his two lavender scented candles, a knitted bookmark with a beaded string at the end which was poking out of a book William must have been reading currently, and over his chair there was a pastel, diagonal-rainbow knitted throw-blanket with a pastel yellow border. All of the things that his dispatcher had given to him clashed in his office because of their bright colours and childish nature. William had a lot of pride, so his fondness of these gifts was apparent. The shinigami couldn't help but feel envious of that fondness. She folded her hands in her lap as her eyes returned to William before she began to speak again.

"_You _are the Dispatch Manager, William – Grell is your dispatcher. It is okay to let him have his way sometimes, because he is also a person, but you still need to make him understand that you are in charge. This is something I have been having trouble enforcing myself…" Rachael had been keeping this in mind for a while now; she believed that it might help William if he did the same, since he had one too many troublesome dispatchers – but Grell in particular.


	44. Chapter 44

William set his teacup on the coaster beside a teapot which sat securely on his desk near a black-and-white photograph of Grell. He acknowledged it by taking it in his hand and bringing it closer to look at it better. It was a photograph of Grell leaning forward in an office chair to rest his arms on a desk, William's desk, with his head resting on top of his folded arms. The sunlight was coming in from the open windows behind him and lit up the photograph well enough to see the pleasant smile on his face. Grell's hair was longer now than it was in the photograph and anyone could tell that it was old because coloured photographs had come out nearly twenty years ago. William felt a ghost of a smile appear on his own face, as old and as dead as the memory of the photograph, which had been taken nearly sixty years ago by a photographer.

It was not a long time for an immortal, as both of them were, but it was long enough for both of them to have changed drastically. As William became more engrossed in his work, he failed to notice that Grell was becoming more and more upset from his lack of acknowledgement from the man he treated as a father and crush, until he was so unstable that he began to take out his anger on human, female prostitutes, which nearly cost him his life. The Council of the Ministry of Hades had no desire to deal with dysfunctional reapers, and they would have executed him, if William hadn't stepped in and took the blame entirely on himself. It was not enough to let Grell off entirely, he was demoted to the lowest level of dispatcher, and William's once-clean record was dirtied for the first time since his resurrection.

That had been entirely his fault, if he had not been so occupied by his job, then Grell may never have needed to vent his anger through such foolish, dangerous means. William ran a thumb longingly across the glass that separated this younger, happier Grell from him, before he set it back where it belonged on his desk. He acknowledged Rachael now by looking into her eyes; she was watching him curiously and suspiciously, as he caressed his distant memories.

William realised that Rachael was in his office, but he hadn't offered her any tea, he poured a cup and stirred in some sugar and cream before he offered it to her. She accepted it and took a small sip, frowning afterward, because it was still rather hot. William did not know where to begin, it was true that William was a dispatch manager and Grell was his dispatcher, but he had felt that it would have been wrong for him to take his gifts from him after how he had treated him. William decided he would tell Rachael what had happened:

"When I went to the demon, he was waiting for me, and he told me that a week ago Grell had been kidnapped from him by another demon. I haven't asked him yet what happened in full, but I do know that he was in very poor health when the demon recaptured him two days later. He was in such a condition that the demon didn't want to return him, so for the last five days he has been recovering, and from what the demon told me he has been much happier and more useful with him than he has been here. I was so angry that I may have treated him unfairly. I might have been jealous that I couldn't make him happy and useful. I didn't ask about his mental or physical health, I lectured him instead on what he did wrong and what he could have done better, and then I tried to take away his gifts. I gave them back, because I didn't want him to cry, but it doesn't matter because he is probably already angry with me."

William finished his tea and set his teacup aside, he didn't fill it again, because he had a headache that was making him nauseous. He pushed his glasses higher, straightened his tie, and leaned back in his chair hoping to make himself more comfortable. He shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to stem the flow of his headache, but he doubted that it would actually work. He knew that the source of his headache couldn't be gotten rid of so easily. "Rachael, do you think you could give me some advice? What should I do now? I don't know, I have a headache and I can't think clearly."

...

Ronald Knox may have been new to the Ministry of Hades, but that did not mean that he was unknown or unpopular, it was the opposite. Knox, as he was often called, was very popular – he was friends with most of the dispatchers, he was the host of the most extraordinary parties, and he had his choice of the most beautiful female shinigami (and some male, but he wasn't interested in them.) - so it was not unusual that Knox had heard the rumour that perhaps one of his first and closest friends in the ministry (and certainly the most frightening) had returned from his week-long absence. He had left his cubicle in dispatch workroom 101 as soon as this surprising news reached him, he had wanted an excuse to leave his unfinished report behind and this was just the opportunity he needed. Knox knocked on Grell's bedroom door, calling out so that Grell knew who he was, "Boss Sutcliff, you bastard, where the bloody hell have you been? It's Knox. I've heard all kinds of stranger rumours that you've been with your demon making babies, that doesn't sound so far off from the truth, but I want to hear it from you."

* * *

Rachael took another sip of her tea, pondering in her thoughts for something appropriate to say to William in response to his request. After thinking for a few minutes, Rachael set her empty teacup down on its plate.

"It seems as though you thought a lot about this, but I think you worry too much. First you must realise that you cannot take all the blame - because it is also the demon's and Grell's own." Rachael paused before continuing, giving William a few moments to think about what she said. "Perhaps you should give yourself a few hours to calm your headache, and for your dispatcher to collect himself. I don't understand his thought process absolutely, but I'm sure he would appreciate it if you talked to him the way you did with me – you said you wanted to make him happy, right? It doesn't take much effort; if you give him a pat on the head then he's thrilled." The shinigami stood up, deciding it was about time she returned to work.

"Thank you for the tea, Mr. Spears. I should probably return to my office now, I have a lot of paperwork to do, and I'm just as busy as you are." Rachael said light-heartedly. She walked to the door, pausing and turning her head towards William before she walked out. "Goodbye, William." She said with a smile, leaving William's office afterwards to return to her own.

...

Grell had decided to leave for his dorm room after he had gotten a few strange looks and laughs from the shinigami who saw him sitting on the floor in the lounge. Grell missed his room, he usually felt much more at home and content when he stayed in it. Once he reached his room he thought about the gifts he carried in his arms, trying to decide where to put them since his room was already overloaded with objects.

Grell's dorm was very – _unique._ It was the same, small shape as all of the other dispatcher's dorms, but its design was far more extraordinary and distinctive. The only light in the room came from the two large, square windows on either side of the back wall – each which were decorated with an expensive, exotic curtain – neither one of them matched; both were of different colours, patterns, and length. All of the furniture in the room looked as if it had once been very beautiful when it were new, now aged and not in the best shape as it may have been many years ago. The floor had many flamboyant rugs that were perhaps too long or too big to fit in his room properly, so they were bunched up against the wall in certain parts; there were few spaces where the ground-carpet could be seen that wasn't covered by one of the rugs.

There was a tall bookshelf that shelved many old, filled out diaries, craft-books and literature (as well as his scrapbook), the remainder was crammed with many candles, trinkets and toys, which Grell had a lot of, and graced not only the bookshelf – but various decorative tables, the window railings, and countertops. They were scattered across the surface, some even knocked over – but Grell didn't bother to pick them up. Most of the ornaments were very fragile, elegant charms and statuettes that had no purpose other than to sit there and look pretty. Grell owned a wide variety of music boxes, as well as many different clocks, some which sat with the trinkets and others that hung on the wall – they were set at various times, all which were the wrong time and caused them to tick one after another. He owned many dolls and stuffed animals as well (but his Madame Missy was his favourite). The shinigami also possessed many beautiful blades and knives which he kept for display. There was a large, old treasure chest next to the bookshelf which contained many crafting supplies and fabrics used for making clothes (which he did a lot, because you couldn't just _buy_ some of the things Grell imagined wearing).

Grell's closet stored masses of clothes that the shinigami had either bought or made himself, everything besides his accessories and undergarments (which were in his dresser) could be found in there, including his large shoe (and slipper) collection which was settled on the closet floor. The shelf inside carried many board games and puzzles, and on the far end of the shelf – inside a locked display container – there was a flawless, magnificent, golden tiara with rubies and diamonds embedded in it. This had been a family heirloom of a human family many years ago, which had been passed down to an old woman that had been Grell's responsibility to reap. Grell had kept it ever since, it wasn't a very polite thing to do, but how often do you come across treasure like that? Even though it was so valuable, he didn't want to sell it - there wasn't an amount of money he could receive that he would like better. The shinigami had placed a shear golden fabric over the container to make it less obvious from view. Underneath the shelf – around the same area where the tiara was – there was a handmade mannequin (modelled after himself) that was currently wearing a dress in the making - which Grell had been working on for years.

The shinigami kept all of his cosmetics, perfumes (which he had more than necessary of) and primping tools on his vanity table, which matched the rest of his fancy, ancient furniture. There was a fragile looking bowl sitting on the table as well – it looked as though it had belonged to a scattered tea set - which held many different pretty stones that Grell had found throughout his life. There was also a jewellery box styled after an oyster – which contained many tangled pieces of jewellery. He had stuck a few notes in-between the gap of the mirror and its border – most of which were reminders for upcoming events and one that read "smile". There was a round, cushioned stool in front of it – which Grell usually sat in every morning to get ready for the day.

The shinigami would occasionally write poetry, or short stories for his entertainment, he would also often make cards for people he liked, and draw pictures. He completed all of these activities at his desk, which had a pen cup full of more fountain pens than Grell would probably ever use, all of them were very expensive and unique in style. He had many desk ornaments as well, and in his desk drawer held expensive paper of many kinds – such as drawing paper, card paper, scrapbooking paper and parchment (though he had no one to write to). Many different colouring utensils could be found in there as well. He also placed random notes, letters, cards and drawings that he had received throughout his life (he could never throw _anything_ away) in the drawer, as well as random little objects that he didn't know where to put.

The most interesting thing about his room though, was almost certainly his bed; it was located against the back corner under one of the windows, the bed was fairly large (it could probably fit two people somewhat uncomfortably) and had a very tall, most astounding headboard of many bars that intertwined in fascinating patterns. The mattress was just as old as the bed itself (and the rest of the furniture) so it wasn't very comfortable anymore - it was hard and lumpy now. So to make it tolerable the shinigami had bought many different expensive sheets and thick blankets of different lengths and patterns; he also had a mass of cushions and pillows that hardly fit on the bed (some had fallen onto the floor). There was a sparkling shear blue canopy above that headboard that hung in a way that only slightly sheltered the front of the bed. Beside the bed there was a lovely vase sprouting English ivy, it grew up gaps in the headboard and the walls surrounding (where Grell had tacked nails into the walls to help it climb) and onto the ceiling. Many chimes of different sizes, styles, and sounds hung around the room, as unique mirrors, wall hangings, and paintings decorated the walls all about. Lightly in the air there was a sweet aroma– which smelt of many perfumes and forest. Combined with the various ticks of the clocks, the assortment of colours and the sparkling of many trinkets, the room overall had an enchanting feel about it.

Grell didn't have much trouble putting his things away like he had thought, he placed his book of fairy tales on his shelf, hung his robe up in the closet, put his brush and mirror set in his coat pockets and held onto his Madame Missy – the shinigami liked to carry her around. Grell would have changed into a new outfit, but it was very difficult to dress himself, so the best he could do was pull the tie out of his hair and set it on the vanity table. The shinigami sat down at his desk, placing his Madame Missy carefully on top so that she wouldn't knock anything over. Afterwards he opened his desk drawer, searching through it in hopes for a pretty piece of parchment. Eventually he found a sheet of light pink paper, which was cut into a decorative border – the shinigami wrote in his best handwriting (he was lucky enough to be left handed) with one of his fancy red-inked fountain pens.

_Dearest Sebastian,_

_I'm sure you have already guessed who this is, yes, this is Grell but please don't tear up this letter yet! I don't feel that I have thanked you enough, even though I know that it wasn't out of concern for my well-being, I do appreciate all that you've done. So thank you, thank you very much! I do confess that I truly enjoyed your company, and that I miss you terribly… Will is mad at me, so it hasn't been much fun since I returned – he even tried to take away the gifts you gave to me! I managed to keep them though, which was a relief, because it just wouldn't be the same to exist without my Madame Missy doll, since I carry her around with me everywhere. Oh Sebastian, thank you so much for the gifts! I love them all so dearly, I'll keep them with me forever. I hope that you are doing magnificently, and that nothing bad has happened to you – I look forward to seeing you again. And I never had a chance to say goodbye either, so I'll write it in this letter – Goodbye, Sebby!_

_With Love, _

_Grell Sutcliff_

The shinigami wrote the return address on the inside underneath his name instead of on the outside, in case Sebastian decided to destroy the letter as soon as he realised who it was from. He neatly folded his letter in half, and tucked it into a matching pink envelope. He wrote all of the required information and addressed it to _Sebastian Michaelis_ to make sure it wasn't mistaken for Ciel's mail.

As Grell was stamping the envelope shut with a red wax stamp, he heard a knock at the door and Knox's voice. The shinigami's face lit up and he smiled excitedly as he got up quickly to greet his friend (taking his letter and his Madame Missy with him), Grell opened the door and trapped Knox into an overjoyed hug of happiness.

"Oh, Knoxie! I've missed you _so_ much! I've had the strangest week!" The ecstatic shinigami squeezed Knox in his arms before letting go, as he began to eagerly explain all that had happened to him since he encountered Sebastian in the marketplace up until now.


	45. Chapter 45

Knox laughed loudly when Grell caught him in his arms and breathed into his ear that he had had the strangest week, in response Knox rustled Grell's hair. When Grell stepped back in his high heels - who was shorter than him without his heels, but the same height when he wore them - Knox acknowledged that as a sign to enter. He passed Grell to enter the overcrowded room and immediately hit his head against a large wind-chime which hung from the ceiling, (Grell, as previously mentioned, was shorter than Knox and was more familiar with the room) knocked over a miniature crib in which a baby-doll was resting, and stumbled after getting his foot caught against one of many rugs. Grell was not sympathetic, after a shout of surprise, he bent over and lifted his baby doll from the floor with his left hand (which Knox noticed for the first time was bandaged, not only his left hand but both of his hands, and the right was in a cast) Grell was going to tell Knox to be more careful, (he was upset that he had woken and possibly injured his darling baby-doll) when Knox asked loudly, "Boss Sutcliff, what have you done to your hands and wrist? I know that you're one of those strange fellows, who want to be cuffed and abused, and that your demon is sadistic by nature, but surely you didn't go _that_ far?"

Grell blushed a deep red and gave him in a flustered, indignant voice a definite denial. Grell became more serious after that had been cleared, and told him in a solemn voice just what had happened since encountering Sebastian at the marketplace to returning the Ministry of Hades with William. It took a reasonable length of time to explain, and Grell was sitting on his bed with the stiff mattress and Knox on Grell's cushioned stool when it was over. It was not given in great detail, but Knox understood that it was a sensitive subject still; Grell even mentioned tearfully that the severe bruises on his back were still dark and hurting all of the time and badly whenever they were touched from the beating the demon had given him. He said that he had mostly learned to cope with it now but it made everything that much more difficult. Knox watched uncomfortably as Grell began to confide to him that William had been angry with him again and may still be, and how unfair that was because he had only taken into consideration everything that he had done wrong, and hadn't seemed concerned at all that he had been a demon's prisoner for two days which had been a hell on earth. Knox sat beside him on the bed because he imagined that it may be comforting, as his friend was teary-eyed (but not quite crying) to give him a pat on the back, but as soon as he did so Grell let out a cry of pain which reminded the younger shinigami of the bruises on Grell's back. "Oh, my apologies! I didn't mean any harm, Boss Sutcliff!"

It was unusual for Knox to be so clumsy – hitting his head, knocking things over, stumbling over rugs, hurting his friends – he laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head as Grell watched him unhappily for his reaction to what he had told him. When Knox overcame the awkward moment his face became serious and he looked Grell in his shimmering eyes, now green (they would change colour so often, from yellow, to green, or a pleasant combination of them both) and gave him advice he might appreciate if he were Grell (not that he could ever imagine that kind of lifestyle) "Boss Sutcliff, I agree, William is treating you unfairly. If he knew that you had been kidnapped and abused by a demon, not unlike the ones he despises, and hasn't shown any concern for you, your broken wrist, or your bruises than he has no right to lecture you for anything! I certainly hope that he doesn't expect you to work tomorrow in your condition, and if he does, then I'll be sure to _persuade _him otherwise. I don't care if he's my manager, he's being a right ass, and since you're too much of a lady to defend yourself, then I'll do it for you!" Knox ruffled Grell's hair again causing Grell to cry out in displeasure. "I have been here for too long, Boss, I need to head back to our workroom and finish my report. Not for William, of course, but for my own well-being. If William does anything that upsets you, I want you to tell me, and I'll make sure that it doesn't happen." Knox gave Grell a sincere smile, walked across the room to the door and paused to add, "And when you're better, we'll have a party, with beer and hookers! Now, I know you don't like women, and you really don't like hookers, but I'll be sure to hire some male ones too that you might fancy!" He laughed raunchily afterward, and left, not shutting the door behind him.

...

It was night now, it was 6:00 PM, and although William's headache had left hours before after a short nap at his desk (which he felt awful about, if he had not been so stressed that he could not concentrate on his work, it never would have happened) he had wanted Grell to have some time to himself. He knocked on his door softly, he hoped that Grell had heard, if he hadn't he at least heard William's voice ask him from outside of his room. "Grell, are you feeling any better now? I wanted to speak with you." William bit his lip, he had hoped that his voice would have portrayed some of what he felt now, (Grell may have been more willing to let him in) but instead it was his usual voice. He had practiced speaking to overcome whatever he was feeling for business purposes, for example, William was uncomfortable whenever he had to speak in front of large numbers of unfamiliar people, but he had taught himself to sound professional under all circumstances for exactly that reason. He waited patiently for Grell's reply, if he was in his room; William certainly hoped that he was.

* * *

After Knox had left Grell's room, the shinigami felt a bit better than he had before. Knox wasn't exactly the best at comforting, but he was always able to at least mildly understand, and encourage him. Grell decided he should go deliver his letter now; he wanted it to reach Sebastian as soon as possible. He stood up from his bed with his doll and letter, wiping his eyes before walking out of his room – shutting the door behind him. As he was walking down the hallway, he felt a random pain in his back – the shinigami whimpered before leaning his shoulder against the nearby wall, waiting for the pain to dull. He heard a familiar voice some distance behind him, and a laugh.

"I wasn't expecting to see _you_ today."

This particular shinigami, Caleb Cook, was reasonably tall (perhaps the same height as William) and very attractive. His features were masculine – but handsome, and same with his figure. He kept his lustrous brunette hair cropped short and stylish, and his eyes radiated a light brown. His skin-tone was light (but much darker in comparison to Grell's) and being the highest level of dispatchers – he made quite a decent pay and usually wore very nice clothing. Today he wore a black silk blouse with a cravat and slacks, while over it he wore a long, fancy white coat that he buttoned in the middle (leaving the rest unbuttoned) and polished black boots. He overall had a very cold look about him. Caleb pushed his small, round glasses up as he approached the shinigami - who had turned his head slightly over his shoulder to look behind him uncertainly.

Once Grell saw who it was, he tucked his Madame Missy inside his jacket, and turned to where his back was against the wall with the letter hidden behind his back. Grell tried to tolerate the aching, as he hid the nervous feeling from expressing on his features – trying to build some courage to defend himself from the expected conversation he was probably going to have with Rachael's dispatcher. Grell was teased often by various other dispatchers, but Caleb was different – he was a jerk. Once the other stood before him, he examined Grell's current appearance – it was obvious he was experiencing pain, but Grell tried to hide it and attempt a menacing glare at him. Caleb smirked and slammed his left hand against the wall at the side of the smaller man, Grell let out a sound of fear before he looked up at him uneasily.

"You look like you are in a lot of pain, freak. Did your demon go too hard on you? You should have stayed there. I cherished every _moment_ of your absence." Grell blushed, but tried to hide his pain and fear, as he smiled up at him timidly.

"Whatever, Cookie. I bet you missed me." Grell started, beaming inspiration off the other's irritated expression. "I bet you were worried about me. You probably thought about me and dreamed about me. You were probably worried that I might not ever return and you would have never gotten a chance to get your hands in my pants." The shinigami knew he had pushed his buttons, and he loved the reactions he could get out of people - it was like a sport – but these pleasures came with consequences. Caleb had an obvious look of anger on his face, as he moved his hand from the wall and squeezed him violently around his neck for a few moments before throwing him to the ground. The shinigami gasped and touched his neck, whining softly from the pain of his back slamming against the ground.

"You're disgusting." Caleb spat, glaring down at the helpless shinigami on the floor. Something about this scene was pleasant for Caleb, the way he could so easily push around this pathetic shinigami – he was all talk - Grell didn't stand a chance against him physically. He loved the way his small body decorated the floor, the way his legs were spread with his mass of hair all around him, the way he blushed and moaned gently with that pouty look on his face again, combined with the pain he stressed now. "You're so desperate for attention that you'll say such things without shame. You know I'm not attracted to men, and I'm _especially_ not attracted to _you_." Grell giggled girlishly, not even caring what the other had thought about his earlier comments.

"Please, I know you think of me when you're with her." Caleb's mouth twitched - and Grell knew he had done it; he smirked inwardly out of satisfaction. He watched as the other approached slowly, Grell felt fear begin to swell in him – it was such a wonderful feeling, so scary yet so pleasurable, he could feel the scene reaching climax as Caleb came closer – oh the _suspense_! Grell felt a heavy weight on his chest – which was Caleb's boot. He felt it press into him so hard that he thought it might run him through; the shinigami cried out and attempted to struggle beneath the pressure, which was killing his back.

"If it didn't risk my job, I would beat you…" Caleb said in a low, serious voice. He really wanted to hurt this arrogant _freak_, just what was he thinking when he said that? He wanted him to feel the humiliation that he was experienced just by _listening_ to those words, but he supposed holding him here for a little while was enough. It was so satisfying to watch him squirm beneath him helplessly, breathing for him to let him go – it was lightening his mood actually, as he applied more pressure causing the smaller man to cry out in pain. After he had taken in the pleasing sight for a few moments, he noticed a pink envelope in Grell's hand; Caleb immediately seized it and read what was written on the front of the envelope. Grell tried to grab at it, but Caleb kept it from his reach as he removed his shoe from Grell's chest and stood to his full height. "You are such a girl - did you _really_ put perfume on this letter? I can smell it."

"Give it back! That's for Sebby! Not _you_!" Grell immediately got up and tried to reach for it, but Caleb held it too high in the air. Caleb found this far too amusing, as he waved it in the air and the other jumped and whined trying to get it back. "That's not fair!" Grell screamed, afterward stomping his foot.

"You shouldn't care so much, your demon would probably destroy it as soon as he realises it's from _you_. I might as well tear it up now, save you the disappointment." He held it in such a way to make it look as if he were about to tear it in two. Grell lost his steam and went into a kind of desperate mood, he trembled as he stared at his letter in worry, and then towards Caleb.

"Please give it back…" The shinigami pouted, becoming teary-eyed again. Caleb stared at him in almost a gaze, a smirk apparent on his lips. Sometimes he forgot that this shinigami was a _man_, what he was doing right now was so womanly it was almost stimulating. He took a step closer to Grell, making the distance between them very little, as he stared into his eyes.

"Come on, is that the best you can do? I want to see you _beg_." But before either of them could do anything else, there was a loud, angry voice from not too far away.

"Mr. Cook! What are you _doing_? I told you to stop harassing Grell!"

"M-Miss Brown!" Caleb looked at her anxiously, before shoving Grell away from him, causing him to cry out and fall over. Rachael eyed Caleb suspiciously before snatching the envelope from his hand, turning to Grell afterwards - who was standing back up again. She had been on her way to her office and just so happened to encounter these two on her way there, this wasn't the first time she had caught Caleb picking on Grell – and it was so embarrassing - since Caleb was her dispatcher. She tossed the envelope at Grell awkwardly - assuming it was his - and turned back to Caleb.

"You're coming with me to my office, Mr. Cook. I swear - you're so embarrassing!" Rachael began walking off, expecting that her dispatcher would follow, she was going to have to lecture him _again_ about the same thing!

Grell watched as Rachael and Caleb walked together down the hallway, he almost couldn't believe how lucky he had been for that to happen. He picked his letter up off the floor (which had been awkwardly thrown at him) and began examining for dents or tears. It was still in good condition – the shinigami sighed in relief and smiled before walking off again to go deliver his letter.

...

It was almost 6:00 PM now, but Grell didn't know that because all of his clocks were set at the wrong time! The shinigami had gone back to his room after he delivered his letter to the human post-office. In the amount of time up until now, Grell started with taking a shower and primping for several hours, once he was done with that - he changed into one of his night gowns since he figured he wasn't going to be working today. Afterwards he began writing in his journal, and once he had written everything that he had wanted to record up until this point down, he began reading where he had left off in his book of fairy tales that Sebastian had given to him. That was what he was doing currently, until he heard a knock at his door and William's voice. William said he wanted to speak with him, Grell wondered about what? He had a few inklings, all of them based on the events that had happened today and Sebastian. There was a short delay for a while, until Grell decided to reply, in an almost unsure tone.

"Of course, Will, come in."


	46. Chapter 46

AN: This chapter is shorter than I would like, but there are situations where it is difficult to continue without the other author. Please forgive us for that. - Madame Stephanie

* * *

Grell's bedroom door opened and William stepped into the room, closing the door behind him, and approached Grell cautiously. He ducked under the wind-chime that Knox had hit his head on, avoided the baby-doll's crib that Knox had knocked over, and stepped over the rug that Knox had tripped on. William was more graceful than Knox was, that may have been because he was calmer, older, or perhaps he wasn't graceful at all and was just more aware. Grell was resting on his stomach and watching William with observant eyes as he evaded the many obstacles in Grell's room to sit on lightly on the edge of the end of Grell's bed. William didn't look at Grell, not because he was angry, but because he was uncomfortable. It was unknown to most workers at the Ministry of Hades, but if any of them humoured the idea, than it was apparent – William was shy, he didn't like people, and didn't know a lot about them. It was difficult for him to be honest even with himself and what he was feeling, a lot of the time he didn't know, and if he didn't know what he himself was feeling how would he know that about someone else? He tried to relate but it was difficult, he wanted to be open with Grell, but he was afraid that if he tried he would only make things worse between them.

William could only hope for the best, he began rather stiffly, looking down at his hands folded in his lap. "Grell, I asked for advice about how to resolve our conflict from this morning, and I was told that I should try speaking openly with you. I want to apologise for my rude behaviour this morning, you did not deserve to be treated that way, especially after what may have happened to you during your two days of abusive captivity. I know only what I was told by the demon, Sebastian, and that isn't very much..." William would not bring himself to say that he was jealous of Sebastian, "…In my anger, I may have expected too much from you. I may have assumed too much about what happened to you. I don't even know if all of your injuries are healed yet, all I know for certain is that your wrist is broken, and that isn't good enough. I do know, though, that as a shinigami you were human once and still experience human emotions and have good reason to be angry with me…But I am a shinigami, too and I haven't entirely lost my humanity either… I can't always control what I feel…" William felt himself trembling - he felt sick - he _hated_ doing this. "I am very sorry."

William looked at Grell for the first time since he entered the room, he had kept a straight face, but that may not have been enough to hide what he was feeling from Grell who was watching him with an unreadable expression. "I would very much appreciate if you would forgive me?" He had intended it to be a statement, but it came out as a question, which made him sound unsure. He was glad that Grell couldn't see how quickly his heart was beating, but he was worried that he may have been able to hear it, as it was beating so loudly against his chest. It sounded noisily in his ears, almost as if it were a wild animal, and his ribs a cage. He knew that he wasn't finished yet, though, he still had more to say. "I would also appreciate if you would tell me if you are injured in a way that I am unaware of, I don't think that you can work with a broken wrist, but if there is anything else it will need to be treated… I know that your demon… that he wasn't trained as a medic for shinigami, our bodies are different from a human body. It would be my responsibility, as your…" Why did he want to say baba? "…manager. I love you, Grell, I care about you, and I want you to be happy and healthy. Please don't ever forget that." William wanted to leave, he was embarrassed, these words that he was speaking to Grell now he had imagined himself saying so many times, these words were written in his diaries, and he felt as if he had laid himself naked and vulnerable before him. Once again, William waited.

* * *

_I love you, I care about you, and I want you to be happy and healthy. Please don't ever forget that._

Grell would never forget - those were the most beautiful words William had ever said to him, they touched his heart, they soothed his soul, and they left a permanent scar in his brain. He had desired for so long to hear something like that from someone, and hearing it come from William just made it all more special. The shinigami only had a similar feeling to this once when Sebastian had called him beautiful, but this time it was much stronger, it had been many years since William had told him he loved him. The statement had such a wonderful ring to it; he almost couldn't believe that William had said it to him. Grell was so overwhelmed with emotion that he felt himself trembling, his heart racing, his chest aching, and tears beginning to form in his eyes. Everything had been so emotional for him recently! The shinigami sat up from his laying position and onto his knees, scooting closer to William so that he sat in front of him. He looked into the other's eyes with his own which were now shining from the build-up of tears – their gaze locked and Grell stared for several moments, before letting out a sob and crawling into William's lap, pressing the side of his head against the other man's chest.

"I love you too, baba, you know that - I can never stress it enough!" William was his baba, Grell had never had a very strong father figure – so he began to see William in that light. This wasn't a recent development, Grell created this bond shortly after he met him - all of those years ago when he had first started his new life, and how terrifying it had been. William had helped him through that; it was his job as his manager and as the one who reanimated him. Grell continued to sit on William's lap for a while, occasionally fidgeting or shifting as he trembled, sobbing delicately with a comfortable smile on his face. "Of course I forgive you, baba…" Though he wasn't entirely mad to begin with, he actually thought that William had been angry with him, he supposed he was wrong. As he was sitting in William's lap, he realised that being in the position he was in now, Grell could hear and feel William's rapid heartbeat – it was quite pitiable, the way it was so hard for William to be open with him.

The shinigami kissed William gently on the cheek before removing himself from the other, turning around so that his back was facing him. He began to unfasten the thread that tied the V-neck of Grell's nightgown together, until the gown was loose enough so that Grell could slip it behind his shoulders, causing it to expose his upper body as it fell and hovered around his waist. "The demon who captured me…" Grell spoke in a quiet, serious tone, as he pushed the remainder of his hair in front of his shoulders to totally reveal his bruised back. "…beat me with his belt. It was long enough to completely destroy my blouse." Grell shifted uncomfortably, hoping this exposure wouldn't have to last much longer. "It hurts, baba…" Grell whispered pitifully. "Please don't touch it…"


	47. Chapter 47

Sebastian may have thought that these bruises on Grell's back were beautiful, but William thought that they were ugly - damaged tissue in dark, rotten colours that had swollen and torn in some places, making an angry, uneven array of blues and purples and some red that were hurting the person he loved more than any in this world – this was not normal bruising, even with a demon's strength, it would not leave bruises like these. This was an act of passion, or hatred, to be more specific – but why would his darling Grell inspire such hatred in a demon who knew nothing of him? – it was because this demon had a hatred for all humans and anything remotely related to them. Shinigami were an artificial race created by taking the corpses of humans and modifying them to be better and stronger, then reanimating them to give them life and do their job as reapers. It could even be said that shinigami were undead humans. William reached out a hand, as if he were to touch the discolouration, and saw Grell flinch – it was enough to make him stop – his hand hovered over the mess of bruises, his fingers almost touching, before he put his hand back down where it belonged.

William began by speaking his thoughts, "You know that your back is bruised, but have you seen the bruises? This is not normal bruising, Grell, this is severe. It may take months for these to fade entirely or even for the hurting to stop. You will have to go to the infirmary for these to be properly treated." William took Grell's nightgown, which was around his waist, and slid it through his arms and over his shoulders once more. He allowed Grell to tighten the draw-string as he stood up and stretched by rolling his shoulders and head afterward. He helped Grell to his feet, without his high-heels he was almost a head shorter than him, the top of his head was roughly in the same place as the rim of William's nose. He kissed his forehead, which was warm, and led him out into the hallway. The shinigami infirmary was on the first floor, it was uncommon that a shinigami would be injured badly enough for such precautions to be necessary (most of the time the worst injuries were a scratch from a dying human's nails or a stray cat) but it was better to be safe than sorry. The dispatcher rooms were also on the first floor, the main building of the London division of the Ministry of Hades was the largest of them all (there were of course other buildings surrounding, which were smaller, such as the library) - it included the living quarters, work rooms, infirmary, cafeteria, fantastic gardens and surrounding grounds (with hundreds of species of flowers and trees), offices for officials (such as William or Rachael or individuals even more important), and numerous bathrooms and lounges for recreation – it was very easy for new shinigami to get lost in perhaps the biggest and most beautiful building in London and that is why their managers usually helped them the first year for training and adjusting to their new life.

William had been living here long enough to lead Grell to the infirmary without the slightest hesitation, he held Grell's hand the entire way there, as if he were a child or didn't know where the infirmary was. They entered through the glass double-doors into a short hallway lined with empty waiting chairs and a small podium that held a sign-in book. William told Grell to sign in as he walked past the hallway and into the main room where a young shinigami nurse was sitting behind an oak desk. Not all shinigami were created to be used as dispatchers, dispatch managers, or even higher positions. Some of them, such as the nurses who managed the infirmary, were created for the convenience of the other and more important shinigami. They did not take as much time to make and were not as complex, they did not have the modified cornea designed to see souls (which ruined the vision and required glasses) or the increased strength and senses. They were taught everything about the shinigami body, though, and made excellent nurses. They were not jealous of the reaper lifestyle, either, they were very happy with their simple job; the nurses here especially enjoyed their work and abundant free-time. This particular nurse, (there were two who managed the infirmary, one who tended the patients, and the other who sat behind the desk) was a miss Helen Abbot, and it was her shift to sit behind the desk. She smiled when the saw William and Grell, she was on familiar terms with both, William was of course Mister Spears and was a very important person in the Ministry, and Grell was here every few days to help them manage the young shinigami infants and children (it happened).

"Good evening, Mister Spears, I am certain that you know you must sign in before we can treat you. I am sorry, it is procedure." William shook his head lightly and indicated Grell who had come up behind him, "I am not here for myself, Miss Abbot." Her mouth opened into a small, pink "o" of surprise but she quickly overcame that and tucked some blonde curls behind her ear. "Well, of course! Good evening, Grell! Please sit down in the patient room behind you, I will be there shortly." William took Grell's hand once more and guided him to the room wordlessly, he had him sit on the bed and remove his nightgown as he had earlier, Grell sat their impatiently and William did just the opposite. When Nurse Abbot came into the bedroom (she had switched shifts with the other nurse) she sat down in a chair beside the bed and brushed Grell's mass of hair out of the way to reveal the injuries it hid. She made a small sound of disapproval and ran the tips of her gloved fingers over his back, which caused Grell to let out a soft cry of pain. "Grell, how did this _happen_? There have been all kinds of rumours of where you have been the past week, but I have heard nothing about you being injured." William frowned and reminded her, "Rumours are not always reliable, Miss Abbot, it is none of your concern how this happened. Please refrain from asking questions and do your job." She blinked her long lashes in surprise and stammered as she opened her medical bag, "O-Of course, Mister Spears, I apologise."

After she had examined and treated the bruises to a rub-on medicine she removed a syringe from her medical bag and began to fill the tool with a clear liquid. She smiled pleasantly at Grell, who was eyeing the syringe nervously, and explained herself. "I don't believe that you've needed an injection before, Grell, but this is called a syringe. As shinigami, we have a more advanced version than humans do (although they do have a cruder version), and I promise that it is very safe and clean. Actually, this will help you feel better; this injection will greatly dull the pain so that you can function easier. (I know you must be hurting, you poor dear)." She took Grell's arm and held it out at full length, exposing the weaker underside, which faintly revealed a few blue veins. She examined them carefully and chose one that looked easy to puncture at the section where his upper and lower arm connected. Grell whimpered as the needle and cold liquid entered him, but she only smiled, and cooed that it wasn't so bad. She looked to William after she removed the empty syringe from his arm and applied a small bandage to tell him, "It is nearly 6:30, Mister Spears; I would suggest that you escort Grell to the cafeteria for dinner. He doesn't eat enough and shouldn't skip a meal. He will also need proper nutrition to recover faster." William and Grell left after that, Nurse Abbot waved goodbye with a pleasant smile until the door shut her out of view. William sighed as if that had been physically exhausting and pushed his glasses higher on his face.

William, Rachael, and Grell sat at a table in the cafeteria together. It was a large, rectangular room with a reflective, marble floor and two large, identical chandeliers. The left wall was made of plaster and wall-papered to match the marble with an expensive set of paintings and the right wall was made entirely of glass which had an extraordinary view of the Ministry of Hades garden and grounds. Many tables had been placed in this room and so had a long buffet line with various foods. William did not seem to notice the tension between Rachael and Grell as she eyed him angrily as William fed Grell, and Grell in turn ate pleasantly. Grell was the only one in the cafeteria in a nightgown, most everyone was still dressed for work, and he was certainly the only one being fed by someone else. William had originally intended for Grell to eat without assistance, but after watching him struggle, he had taken the fork from him and became more concerned with Grell's meal than his own. Grell did not usually sit with William (and Rachael, who almost always sat with William) he more often sat with Knox and his friends, but this time he had wanted to sit with his baba (perhaps hoping to be fed by him). Rachael tried to engage William in conversation, and he would occasionally respond, but he was listening rather than responding, William thought more than he interacted – it was in his character – he had been this way for a long time, he wondered if he would ever change, or even if he wanted to.

It was 7:00 PM when William and Grell left the cafeteria and Rachael behind. The hallways were dark and empty; everyone else was returning to their workrooms from the cafeteria which took them down an entirely different path. The only light were that of candles on their holders on the wall. The sun had set around 5:00 PM, like it always did in England during early spring, later in the year the sunrise and sunset times would become more and more extreme. Once they were in front of Grell's bedroom door, William and Grell looked into each other's eyes for a short time before Grell removed his hand from his, his eyes averted, and he slid into his bedroom and shut the door behind him just as William stepped forward to tell him goodnight, leaving behind only his sweet scent and a whispered goodnight not unlike the one William would have given him. William placed his hand on the doorknob, as if he were to open it, but he thought otherwise and instead walked away – down the dimly lit hallways – to his office.

...

The next morning Sebastian turned a letter over in his hand, looking for a return address, but finding nothing. Mey-Rin had given him this letter only minutes before, she had been just as confused as he was now, she had had no idea who this was from but from the pink envelope, the red cursive in which his human name was written, and the smell of perfume he had drawn an idea. He decided that he could take a break from his work to read it, he was very curious. He entered the Phantomhive library and sat down at Ciel's desk, removing a letter opener from the drawer, and slitting open the envelope. A heavy waft of perfume came from the inside, and he removed a pink sheet of parchment. He unfolded the letter and read what was written in great interest.

It was, as he had expected, a letter from Grell. There was not a lot written, as he imagined he had written this soon after his arrival, and it was mostly a letter of appreciation. Sebastian had never received a letter before, he had had many interactions with humans, some pleasant and others less so, but he had never written to or received writing from one. It made him feel strange, how should he respond, or should he respond at all? He decided that he would, because the shinigami had written his return address on the inside of the letter, which must mean that he wanted him to. It couldn't be so bad, Sebastian decided, he would have something to do other than his usual routine which had become dreadfully dull once more with Princess Grell back where she belonged. He didn't have expensive parchment to write his return letter on, so he used a basic sheet of paper he found at the desk, and a black fountain pen that had been there too. He was unfamiliar with the correct way to write a letter, so he followed the format that Grell had used in his letter.

_Princess Grell,_

_Has it only been a day since I last saw you? Already the beauty of this manor house has diminished. The white of the walls are grey in comparison to your luscious skin, the gold of the trinkets that surround me are dull and ugly in comparison to your glistening eyes, and the red of the roses outside of the library window where I sit to write this now are not as sweet or as red as your hair. I may return your feeling if this is what it feels like to miss someone._

_I had so much more to do and look forward to while you were here and now that you are gone I have only my monotonous routine that I have begun to despise now that I know there is more to life than this. Until I rescued you from your captor, I never knew how wonderful it felt, to have something depend on me so completely. My black heart aches, and I don't know why, it is almost frightening. I also look forward with great anticipation to our next encounter, I have begun to believe that when I meet you, something both wonderful and terrible may happen. I can already feel the excitement by merely giving it thought._

_It makes me happy to know that my gifts made you happy, will you give me a gift in return, princess? I would appreciate - if you would give me a gift that you did not buy, a gift that your hands did not supply, and is sweeter and redder than what is enclosed in this letter – I hope that the answer is apparent, I do want it so badly, I would be so disappointed if I do not receive it._

_Your knight,_

_Sebastian_

Sebastian smiled after he was finished, he folded the letter and tucked it into a white envelope, he wondered if Grell would be able to guess what he had meant with his riddle. He took the letter outside and picked a rose from its bush. He plucked off all its petals and one by one slipped them into the envelope with the letter folded. He tucked it into his coat pocket afterward, and decided that he would deliver the letter as soon as the young master was sleeping.

* * *

Grell found himself in a very strange place when he woke up the next morning - it most certainly wasn't his bedroom, there was a strong smell of cleanser and the area around him was mostly a blur of white with smears of other blending colours, there weren't any windows in the room, the place was entirely lit by candlelight. He was laying on a cold, hard surface and was carrying one of his many combs in his hand, he also noticed he was wearing his slippers – which he only wore if he were in his nightclothes and wanted to walk around. Grell squinted, attempting to get into a better focus, and eventually he realised that he was in one of the shinigami public bathrooms! He got an uncomfortable feeling as he stood up, holding onto one of the nearby sinks for support. He must have been sleepwalking again – since he had such a strong case of somnambulism the shinigami often found himself in different places than he had fallen asleep in. It wasn't something he was proud of, it actually made him quite uncomfortable to think that he had been walking around last night doing something he was unaware of.

Considering his situation now, the shinigami must have put his slippers on, picked up one of his many combs, and walked into the bathroom to fix his hair in front of the mirror – all while he was sleeping! Grell used to carry a comb around (before it was left behind in the warehouse) and would often primp in the bathroom if he happened to pass one by. He felt a shiver up his spine just thinking about it, to think he had fallen asleep in a _bathroom_ of all places. Now he couldn't see anything clearly either, since he left his glasses behind in his room. The shinigami turned on the sink water and began washing his face, worrying he had contaminated it from the bathroom floor (even though they were cleaned regularly). He dried his face with his nightgown, afterwards combing his hair – he might as well since he had it with him. While Grell was combing his hair, he heard the bathroom door open (it was to be expected since it was morning time and all of the shinigami were probably awake by now) he turned to look and see who it was – and it so happened to be Caleb – _again_.

Caleb spotted Grell right away when he entered the room - he was hard to miss – being such a unique individual with his exotic appearance. He hadn't expected to see Grell there (though he had been thinking about him on his way) and it bothered him, how he just seemed to be wherever he went! He noticed Grell was looking at him, his expression changing from curiosity to irritation, (it took Grell a little while to make out who it was) before looking away and returning to his combing activity – as if he hadn't even been there. Why was he even in here without his glasses? Caleb had never seen Grell without his glasses on, and he had to say he looked – well, _different_. (he couldn't bring himself to call Grell attractive) He couldn't say he liked or disliked it more or less compared to his appearance with glasses on, but it made him appear more mature – and perhaps instead of cute, he was more beautiful (not that he decided these things). Caleb also noticed he was still in his nightclothes, an expensive, loose fitting (meant to be comfortable) ivory nightgown with long sleeves and lots of lace. Slippers too, he noticed as he stared at Grell – watching the way his long, flowing locks slid through the teeth of the comb, before realising that he was staring at Grell – causing him to look away. He heard a small whimper come from the other, as if he hit a tangle. Caleb felt his heart beating faster, and a sudden frustration come over him – why did Grell _have_ to be here? He was going to make him _leave_ and wish he never came! Caleb approached the other, turning him around forcefully and shoving him against the sink with vigour. Causing Grell to cry out and look up at him uneasily.

"I believe you're in the wrong bathroom, _missy_. The one you should be in is next door." He hissed menacingly, squeezing his thin arms which he had grasped earlier to trap him against the sink. Grell pressed his good hand against Caleb's chest in an attempt to push him off (still holding his comb) but was failing miserably since he could only use one hand, and Caleb already being physically stronger than him.

"Leave me alone, Cookie, I didn't do anything to you!" Grell whined, further attempting to be released by pressing one of his feet against Caleb's leg while squirming in his grasp. "Let me go! This is no way to treat a lady!" This only encouraged Caleb more, smirking at the feminine way he addressed himself. It was amusing, so he loosened his grip some, before leaning in to whisper something in his ear – feeling the smaller man tremble beneath him.

"Where are your glasses, Grell?" The other blinked, surprised that he had actually called him by his name for once. The way Caleb was acting was frightening Grell, he let out a whine of discomfort as he shifted between the sink and Caleb's body.

"I'm not telling you, it's none of your business anyway." Grell felt himself press up against the sink much harder than before, causing him to cry out again. "Please stop, you're hurting me…"

"And what will you do if I don't stop? What _could_ you do? All you ever do is beg, and it's pissing me off. Why don't you be a man about it and _make_ me?" Grell didn't respond, he merely continued to tremble before looking away from Caleb, who was waiting for him to do something. He wasn't sure what to think about that comment; he had various thoughts on the subject. Grell wished he could be stronger though, he _hated_ being pushed around by this jerk; maybe he shouldn't have said that. He felt himself becoming teary-eyed again as he fidgeted helplessly, there wasn't much else he could do in this situation, and it made him so _angry_.

Caleb watched Grell with frustration – why didn't he _do_ something? He hated how this man acted like such a woman; he almost wished he would at least say something mean or stupid just so he wouldn't feel like such a loser. He knew what he was doing was mean, and that was exactly why he did it. He _hated_ Grell, but that was only because he was so intolerably attracted to him, he was scared of himself sometimes – the way his girlfriend turned him off while Grell did just the opposite. He didn't want to be like that, he just wanted to be normal. But Grell just had to be so _impossibly_ queer on top of already being beautiful that he couldn't even attempt to convince himself that he was straight. He couldn't help but think about him (though he tried to avoid doing that) and he would sometimes find himself staring at him like he had not too long ago. And here he was right now harassing him again, which he did as an effort to convince himself, Grell, and the shinigami society that he had no _possible_ feelings for the other. Caleb huffed, letting go of Grell while snatching the comb out of his hand.

"I swear, you're so _hopeless_." He said while bending the comb, examining the beads and decorations that graced the area above the teeth. "This is such a girly comb Grell, I don't think it suits a _man_." Grell couldn't believe this idiot! He could feel his mood swinging drastically from sadness to _livid_ fury, stepping forward to try and grab it back with dynamism.

"Give it back, Caleb!" Caleb smirked, holding it up higher in hopes to see Grell pout again - perhaps he could get him to beg this time.

"Why'd you stop calling me Cookie, luvvie? Did I touch a nerve?" Right after Caleb spoke Grell took off his slipper, fusing his wrath and all his shinigami strength into the most excruciating kick he could manage right in-between Caleb's legs. The shinigami screamed out in pain and dropped the comb, which Grell grabbed after putting his slipper back on before running out of the bathroom in fear of what might happen to him if he stayed.

...

The rest of the day went by averagely, he had managed to avoid Caleb – which was a good thing, considering he was probably very angry with him (more than usual). William had set him up with some paperwork, since he wasn't trusted with reaping while information gathering jobs required lots of writing (which he couldn't do well with because he had to write with his left hand) at least with paperwork he mostly had to read and didn't require much writing. Even if it was easy, it was very boring for Grell, and he managed to get away with taking a lot of breaks and sneaking into the shinigami garden, as well as sneaking into the nursery to play with the children and infants. Grell was exhausted by the time he was let off work (even though the day hadn't been very exhausting). It didn't take him very long at all to go to sleep after his usual shower and primping.


	48. Chapter 48

Young Ciel Phantomhive was early to sleep and early to wake, it was 9:00 PM when he was soundly asleep, Sebastian knew as he had been by his side the entire time. He held his soft, small hand in his own bony, large one as it often helped him sleep easier. He set it now beside his pillow on his mattress, as he took the long-dead candelabra from the bedside table and left the room, shutting the door softly behind him. He descended the stairs and walked the length of the ground floor when he reached it, setting the candelabra on a small, unused end-table. He left through the back door of the manor house, as servants were required to enter and leave from, unless they were escorting a guest, and set out into the night. The Ministry of Hades was in the opposite direction of London town, as the Phantomhive manor was on the outskirts of town; all Sebastian had to do was walk the other direction. It was beautiful, as a demon, he had difficulty appreciating human life – but there was so much more than that, which humans often didn't see, like insects and animals and the world around them – Sebastian saw and heard all of this, the hum and the soft sounds of animal life, and the green grass and spring flowers illuminated by the light of the stars and moon. Humans were animals too, but they were unlike the beasts that lived here, they were more intelligent and possessed much more complex souls – that did not make them better – they had become arrogant, they had become ignorant, and shinigami were hardly better.

Sebastian would never have assumed that he would come to appreciate one, (Sebastian assumed that it was appreciation, but he didn't know, it was an unusual feeling) there were so many years of hatred between them, so many years of history that separated them. He allowed his fingers to skim across a branch of a tree as he mused, occasionally brushing across a stray leaf. It was not because he was beautiful, Sebastian had lived a long time, he had not been counting the years as they passed but he knew that he had seen too many captivating humans. He tried to remember, he shut his eyes, and he could almost hear their voice on the wind that passed. He could almost smell their sweet scent, almost remember the way they had tasted, almost remember the way they had felt beneath his hands and from the inside, as he took their ignorant innocence away from them forever. He could faintly remember all of that but not their faces or their bodies; they were distorted in his mind, the older the memory, the more misshapen – it almost made him sad, and he didn't know why – it was not because he was beautiful. It was not because he was different either; Sebastian knew that he wasn't, he was arrogant, ignorant, immature, unstable, and had taken human life not unlike his own without any regret. Sebastian was not even sure if he liked or disliked him – he had perhaps missed him yesterday and today and he didn't know why – it was not because he was different. If he did not appreciate him for his appearance or personality then why was he on his way to see him now and give him this letter? Sebastian removed the letter he had written for Grell earlier this morning and looked it over. It was a well-written letter in cursive handwriting on plain paper and in a plain envelope with his human-given name on the front. It was still more than a human would ever hope to receive from a demon and a more personal gift than Sebastian had ever given.

The Ministry of Hades was not easy to enter; it was hidden and protected by a barrier that surrounded the main and neighbouring buildings. It was best if humans didn't know of the existence of shinigami and so for that purpose the barrier was set up. It would have been impossible for Sebastian to enter if he didn't know that it was there, there was no password required, only to step through while you were aware of its presence. Grell had explained where the barrier was and how to enter in his "return address". (William would be very unhappy if he knew.) It was beautiful and enormous, the natural light of the night made the white of the artistically placed buildings (the tallest and grandest was the main building in the centre, and the other buildings surrounded all of roughly the same size and design) these buildings were surrounded in turn by well-tended trees and flower gardens, decorative statues and fountains, and conveniently-placed benches on cobblestone pathways surrounded by perfect green grass. The Ministry of Hades was so enormous that it made the Phantomhive manor and estate appear small in comparison. Sebastian smiled as he remembered that this was not the one and only, there was a division of the Ministry of Hades for every town in England, and this was only the London division. It was good for Sebastian that all of the shinigami were currently working their shift or sleeping, none of them were outside at this time of night, it had taken roughly an hour to walk here from the Phantomhive manor and it was now almost 10:00 PM, Sebastian was fortunate that Ciel was still a child and slept earlier rather than later. Sebastian was unsure of how he was going to get this letter to Grell, he assumed that he would have to find his bedroom window and slip it in through there; he frowned and looked at the enormous, erect building in front of him.

Sebastian did not spend too much time looking for Grell's bedroom window, he had guessed in the correct direction, so after looking through a few windows at sleeping dispatchers (some empty) he saw a familiar and unmistakable head of red hair resting against not one, but many decorative, un-matching pillows. Sebastian slid the window open soundlessly, careful not to knock over any of the fragile decorations resting on the ledge, and slid inside. Sebastian shut the window behind him and looked around Grell's bedroom in awe. It had to have been the strangest place he had ever seen inhabited by a human. The room was dimly lit by candlelight which reflected on the wood, glass, or dull porcelain ornaments that decorated every surface of the room. The carpeted floors were hidden by overlapping, un-matching rugs and the walls by mirrors, wall hangings, and paintings. The window he had entered through and the other window in the room had two exquisite, un-matching curtains that hung dusty on their rails. There was a furniture set that included a bed-frame, dresser, a desk, and a vanity table which may have been beautiful once but were now tarnished with age. The headboard was laced with winding tendrils from a pot of English Ivy, but Sebastian could only see the creeping vines through a sheer, blue canopy that hung from the ceiling over the bed with many other chimes and hanging ornaments that rang softly at the slightest movement. Other than the occasional ringing, there was the constant, uneven ticking of many clocks in Grell's room which were all set at the wrong time. On the vanity table Sebastian saw and saw reflected in the dusty mirror, glass bottles of perfumes, lotions, ointments, and makeup – there were notes and reminders in the gap between the mirror and its frame – and a small, red kiss-mark was on the glass where Grell must have kissed his reflection in lipstick. Sebastian allowed himself, in his curiosity, to spray or open to smell Grell's perfumes and lotions (he didn't imagine that ointments and makeup smelt too nice) and was surprised that he recognised a few of them.

Sebastian also went through Grell's closet and dresser to look at his clothes, there were so many, and many of his polo shirts and blouses were identical (other than a minor detail or two which could be a different set of buttons or an extra layer of lace) and the same could be said for his vests and slacks. Grell seemed to have made a lot of his own clothing though, there were many fantastic dresses the likes of which he had never seen on a human before (most of them were too short to be worn in public and one of them which was awfully frilly, pink, and white and adorned with red bows and ribbons was the shortest dress he had ever seen in his life and was missing a place for the wearer's buttocks, he had suspicions on what Grell had intended it for) and he had so many shoes that Sebastian could hardly make his way across the closet floor without stepping on the high heel of an upturned shoe. Sebastian also looked through his bookshelf on which the bottom half held books and the top half held more ornaments. There were popular and less-popular romance novels which Grell may have read out of loneliness and the desire to experience a sexual relationship, cookbooks with simple recipes circled in red marker and more difficult ones with a dot in the corner and an occasional note written out to the side most of which were entirely random and had nothing to do with cooking, a few self-help books which had the corners folded back on certain articles about accepting yourself and overcoming depression or anger, two manuals one of which was on infant and childcare and the other on seduction which included a list of sexual positions complete with illustrations - some of which had been circled or scratched out - and not surprisingly a few with his or another name written beside it, and Grell's diaries from over the years including his most recent one and a dream diary, which he didn't look through. The most entertaining book on the shelf though was a fairly large scrapbook, which was almost entirely filled out with photos, long passages of writing, and small memorable objects like a pressed flower. It was very personal (perhaps the most personal thing he owned other than his diaries) and Sebastian didn't read all of it, but he learned one or two of Grell's more personal memories.

Sebastian also went through his desk and read in great amusement all of his poetry that he found there, some of which was poetical and others crude, some rhyming and others free-verse, but all reasonably well-written and creative. He had a suspicion that some of them were written for him, but he wasn't certain, he didn't know enough about Grell's history. He also read a few short, un-continued stories that Grell had written, almost all of which were romance stories involving a beautiful, young maiden with long red hair and shimmering green eyes that was captivated by a dark, mysterious man who changed her life. (Some of the stories were entirely or became very sexual at the end and were probably written as an outlet for Grell.) he had the impression that these _characters_ were based on actual people. (Was the dark, mysterious stranger William or Sebastian? He had the impression it depended on the story. It was obvious who the beautiful, young maiden with long red hair and shimmering green eyes was.) There were also a number of rough drawings or sketches, some of which were of the view of the garden outside the window in front of the desk or of something in the room, and others were imagined. By now, Sebastian decided that he had found everything of his interest in Grell's room; he had to admit to himself, that he was very surprised and even impressed. He had not been expecting to find so many personal belongings in Grell's coat pockets, so his room had completely unhinged his previous idea of Grell, if he had not seen his room he never would of known that he had so much colour or personality. It had taken a week and a look into his room, but now, Sebastian may have understood. He did not appreciate Grell for his appearance or personality, it was because he was the first person he had ever known so much about, he was the first person he had ever had to take care of and watch over entirely (even if only for a short time), he was someone he could actually say he _knew_.

The knight sat on the edge of the bed of his sleeping princess who was unknowingly facing him and who looked peaceful in sleep as he never did when he was awake, or at least not when he was with him. His eyes were shut lightly, his pink lips were open wide enough for him to release previously captured breaths which would flutter the stray scarlet strands in his face, and his pale cheeks were a light pink with blush in sleep. Without his glasses, as Caleb had noticed, Grell did not look more or less attractive but certainly more mature. Sebastian reached out a hand, as if he were to touch his face, but he stopped because he was unsure if it would wake Grell or not, he knew that he didn't want Grell to find him here. His hand still outstretched he allowed himself to feel Grell's warm, moist breath on his hand before he pulled it away. It had been a long time since he had seen a human (or in this case a shinigami but Sebastian, as a demon, would not see too much of a difference) this attractive. So instead of touching his face, he ran a hand down the length of his hair, and realised as he did so that Grell would never be able to know how beautiful he looked now without assistance. He smiled cunningly, and decided that he would take a sheet of Grell's drawing paper and borrow a pencil, and in return would offer the drawing.

It took an hour, maybe two, and once it was complete Sebastian set his letter and his sketch of Grell's still, sleeping face, (which was frighteningly realistic, almost like a black-and-white photograph) on a decorative table beside Grell's bed. (He had to make room for it first, there were numerous trinkets on this table and he had to re-arrange a few things to fit his paper gifts.) it may have been frightening to most but Sebastian hoped that Grell would appreciate his efforts to show him how beautiful he was when he slept. The only way Grell would know that it was from Sebastian is using logic to assume that since it was with a letter from the demon, that the drawing was left behind also. And focused his attention on Grell again and noticed that he hadn't moved and the same, sleeping expression was on his face. Sebastian, who had originally wanted to leave when he finished his drawing, changed his mind when he saw that beautiful face for what would have been the last time that night if he followed through on his original intentions. Sebastian was curious if he could influence Grell to dream about him. Sebastian was very careful, as he was a demon, not to wake him as he brushed the stray hair away from his ear and whispered in his most attractive voice, _"Princess Grell…"_ he lightly touched his warm, left hand to Grell's cheek and brought his lips to Grell's in a soft and affectionate kiss, it was not enough to wake him, but it was enough for him to hear and feel in his sleep. When Sebastian pulled away, Grell's red eyebrows furrowed and he opened his mouth wider to let out a sound but Sebastian quickly placed his long finger over his flushed lips. _"Not a word, princess, we must not be heard."_

The same hand that had brushed away Grell's hair and touched his face ran down the length of his body, still underneath two or three of his covers while he lay on top of many more, some were falling off of the bed and all were uneven. Sebastian had his hand pause on the small of Grell's back which he caressed pleasantly as he let his lips slide from his ear where they had left a kiss to his tender, pulsing neck. Sebastian kissed and then licked Grell's throbbing jugular. Grell let out a soft moan and lifted a hand to feel for the source of the pleasant (and seductive) tickling sensation on his neck, which Sebastian was now sucking gently. He paused when he saw Grell's hand and caught it in his own when it came close. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and kissed each of his fingertips. He placed Grell's hand at his side again and kissed him again on the lips. Grell's cheeks had darkened from a pale pink to a faint red, his relaxed breathing was somewhat faster, and when Sebastian slid his nightgown down (only enough to expose his shoulders to the cold air) to lovingly kiss along his collarbone he could hear from within his body his heart beating faster than what a resting heart-rate should be. Grell moaned, somewhat louder than before but still quietly, (as he was sleeping) and afterward much to Sebastian's delight called out his human name. Sebastian smiled in accomplishment, and since it was only a dream and Grell would never know it had actually happened (what harm could it do) told him, _"I love you too, princess."_

Sebastian kissed him one last time on the lips and stood up from the bed, straightening his clothes, he also set his letter and sketch on the bed beside Grell. Sebastian did not need to influence Grell further, it was apparent that his body had come to a conclusion and his imagination would do the rest for him, he also didn't want to risk Grell waking. So Sebastian looked at him one last time, in time to see him push a pillow off of his bed by accident, and was about to leave through the window he had left and would leave open, but paused when he heard Grell call out his name a second time. He smiled, how easily humans were swayed, an affectionate touch and a line or two of sweet nothings and he would be thinking about him all night (perhaps in a way Sebastian was both pleased and disgusted to imagine) and with no further delay left. He made it just in time to the manor to prepare for that morning.

* * *

The shinigami's body-clock woke him up at his usual early time (6:00 AM) to get ready for work, and much to his surprise, there was a light morning breeze blowing over him – causing Grell to sit up more quickly than he usually did (normally he would lay in bed for a while) before looking up at the window. He expected that would have been the source of the wind, and since it was open, it probably was. Grell squinted, why was his window open? The shinigami knew that he hadn't opened it last night, or at all yesterday (it was somewhat difficult to open with one hand). So how was it open now? Maybe someone else had opened it without him knowing, but what would be the purpose of that? It was kind of unnerving to think about, so he figured he _must_ have opened it yesterday and forgotten about it – which was kind of a ridiculous theory, but his other one was even more so.

As Grell got on his knees to close the window with his good hand, he realised that his nightgown was resting at his shoulders. He didn't give this detail much thought, concluding that he might have moved around strangely in his sleep (he was unaware that he was mostly still). He fixed his nightgown quickly, afterwards shutting the window with some difficulty. Grell sat back down on his bed, feeling a bit uncertain as he was unconvinced by his previous window theory. The shinigami shifted, trying to get more comfortable - in doing so he heard a shuffling noise, it sounded like – papers? He looked towards the source of the noise, managing to make out through his blurry vision a piece of drawing paper. Grell picked it up curiously, placing his glasses on afterwards to make out the picture better.

It was a picture – of him? No, it wasn't a picture, it was a drawing. Someone _drew_ this - the detail was amazing; he didn't even notice it was a drawing at first. This meant that someone _was_ in his room last night, and they had probably been responsible for his window too. Grell stared at the drawing – so this must be how he looked without his glasses, and with his eyes closed. It gave him an uneasy feeling, which grew the longer he stared at it. Who had bothered to do this, and why? He tried to think over everyone he knew – none of which had any talent in drawing (that he aware of). When Sebastian came to his mind though, it seemed quite possible – he was _very_ talented. That would also explain the window, perhaps he had entered through there. Was this left behind just to make it obvious that he had watched him sleep? Grell doubted it, why would Sebastian bother? He was very busy, and he wasn't sure if he was interested in him of not.

But then Grell spotted the letter, he hadn't noticed it before – this would probably be his answer to everything! There wasn't anything written on the front of the envelope (it wasn't necessary since it was delivered through his window) so he opened it quickly, watching the red rose petals come out with the letter before he began to read.

_Princess Grell,_

Well, that had confirmed all of his suspicions… _Sebastian_ – he had actually replied to his letter! The shinigami smiled, looking back at the picture he had drawn for him. The demon had been in his room last night, watching him sleep while he drew this. Grell remembered having a dream about him, which had consisted of mostly innocent touches and kisses, with occasional sweet words. He read over the opening again, not starting on the body yet – so Sebastian had been truly serious about calling him that? For some reason, that title made him feel strange, as if he could melt. Grell read through the rest of the letter, afterwards reading it again and several times more. He had never received a letter like this before – he hardly received letters at all! Grell almost couldn't believe this letter was from Sebastian. The demon he had admired for _so_ long actually enjoyed his company, and missed him?

The shinigami put his slippers on and walked out of his room with his letter and his Madame Missy. There was a large window at the end of the intersection of two hallways which Grell enjoyed using to view the beautiful shinigami gardens outside. He sat in front of the window, placing his doll and letter on the railing as well as his left elbow, while resting his jaw in his hand. Grell looked out the window, but he didn't see anything – his mind was elsewhere, as he thought about his beloved knight.

A few minutes had passed, and Caleb had finally managed to escape his unreasonable girlfriend and was headed towards the cafeteria for breakfast. Caleb was so stressed; women were all just so annoying! They nag about everything, they don't appreciate anything you do, they're never satisfied, and their expectations are so high! He was _always_ doing something wrong with her, and whenever he tries to explain his displeasure she starts _crying_! Why do women make everything a tragedy?

Even though he had a suspicion that Madeline was looking for him now, and that he shouldn't hesitate from his destination in order to avoid a possible lecture, he stopped. He stood a few feet away from Grell, who looked as if he were in a deep daydream.

He was _beautiful_.

Caleb had never seen Grell look so peaceful before, he appeared so calm and content (the way Madeline _never_ was). His hair was lovely - with its exotic scarlet colour, the way it shined luminously in the rising sun, and its thick, luscious, silky texture that trailed to the ground like ribbons. His flawless skin glowed a white-gold in the sunshine as his golden-green eyes reflected the sun – which lost its beauty entirely in comparison. The bright sunshine indulged his entire body with light as he sat there with a dreamy look on his face, while his lips were turned into a pretty, dimpled smile.

The shinigami stood in awe for a few moments, before slowly approaching Grell with a small smile – who luckily hadn't noticed him yet.

"Grell… You look-" Caleb was cut off by Grell, as he gasped in surprise with a jump. He turned his head towards him, wearing a neutral expression which changed quickly to a frown once he realised who it was.

"Go away, Cookie! I'm not in the mood right now."

"No, Grell. I-I was just trying to tell you…th-"

"Tell me what?"

"…"

"Well, what is it? If you have something to say, then spit it out!" Caleb looked away from Grell, he was just like a woman – demanding and impatient, always expecting he had bad intentions. What was even the point? Even if he did tell him he looked beautiful, Grell probably wouldn't believe him. He clenched his fist, looking back at Grell.

"I was going to tell you that you look _very_ ugly right now, like a corpse. Perhaps you should eat more, and get more sleep, you _freak_."

Grell stared at Caleb for a few moments, before quickly looking away, what was even his purpose in telling him that? He felt himself trembling, his mouth twitched and tears dared to form in his eyes. Why did Caleb have to be so mean? It was probably because of what happened yesterday, maybe he was still mad. Grell had been feeling so happy before he came, and he just had to come over here and ruin his mood, he _hated_ him so much.

Caleb watched Grell anxiously; he was probably going to cry – just like a woman. That was just the way he was, so why did he care? That had been his purpose, to get some sort of reaction out of him. He didn't want to see him cry though; maybe it was because he never had. Grell had gotten teary-eyed many times before, but he never allowed himself to cry – maybe he had pushed it a bit too far this time.

But Grell did something unexpected; he picked up his things and stood facing him, before looking up into his eyes with a serious expression on his face. He held his doll to his chest as he spoke in a confident voice that sounded as if it were on the edge of sobbing.

"I don't even _care_ what you say, Caleb, I think I'm beautiful…" And with that, he began walking away. Grell remembered when Sebastian had called him beautiful the first time, and then the second time in the garden when he related him to all of those maidens. He remembered the letter that he carried in his hand now – all of the wonderful compliments Sebastian had written. The demon made him feel beautiful, and he wasn't going to let some jerk ruin that for him.

Caleb hadn't expected that at all, he had expected him to cry – but he didn't. The shinigami realised that Grell _was_ like a woman, but he was much stronger than most. He took a lot more shit than any other woman would have been able to handle. Caleb picked on Grell so much, but he never saw him cry before. He knew what he said was horrible, and he wished he could take it back now. Grell was right, he was beautiful, and he deserved to hear that. He wished he could take back everything he had ever done to him, he felt an urge to apologise, even though he wouldn't forgive him – he at least wanted to tell him he was beautiful. He watched Grell as he walked back toward his room, and Caleb felt himself about to take a step forward to follow him.

"Grell, wait… I-I'm-" But before he could do anything, he was interrupted by Madeline, as she grabbed his arm. He heard her sobbing behind him – was she _really_ still crying over that? All he did was tell her that she was being unfair and to _please_ leave him alone for a little while. Caleb watched unnervingly after Grell as he continued to walk away, his perfect hair swaying behind him.

"Y-You're such a jerk, Caleb! I see you'd rather pick on Grell than spend time with me!"

"M-Madeline! Le-" Grell entered his room, and Caleb felt his heart sink.

"Don't you love me, Caleb?"

"Madeline, please-"

"Please _what_?"

"Please shut up and listen to me!" Caleb raised his voice as he tore his arm from her grasp, turning around to see her trembling, violet eyes releasing tears down her rosy cheeks. Her usually perfect shoulder-length, light-blonde hair now a right mess. She probably did it on purpose just to make herself look more miserable, how else could she mess up her hair like that? Caleb sighed, taking her wire-rimmed rectangular glasses off her flawless face, cleaning the tears off before placing them gently back on.

"Madeline, I'm sorry about what I said this morning. I was just tired, alright? There is no need to cry anymore." He was lying, but this was what she wanted to hear, and probably the only way to get her to calm down. He embraced her so he wouldn't have to look her in the eyes when he said this. "I love you, Madeline, now will you please forgive me?" This was a lie too, but he couldn't just say _no_ to her question. She would probably break up with him and start spreading nasty rumours about him as revenge. Caleb liked Madeline (in a friendly way) when she wasn't emotional, but she was so annoying when she got like this. Madeline nodded and hugged him back, calming down now that she heard what she wanted to hear.

...

_Knight Sebastian,_

_I truly appreciate your reply to my letter; I read it many times! I'll look forward to your reply to this one as well. Hearing from you makes me very happy - you always have something nice to say that makes me feel special. I also sent you a braid of my hair as you requested, I give it to you with joy! I do hope that it is what you wanted. May I ask what it is you plan to do with it, Sebas-chan? Or is it a secret? I hope it isn't, because I really want to know!_

_I had another dream about you, and it makes me miss you even more! I wish I could see you right now, but since I missed a week of work I've been really busy. I've been having to do paperwork this entire time, it's been tremendously dull. Overall I've been managing pretty well here; actually, I think all of the nice things you've said to me has made me more confident! I feel less lonely when I think about you, Sebastian. It really helps make the day easier for me. I look forward to our next encounter as well; I just hope that it isn't too long from now._

_Your Princess,_

_Grell_

Sitting down and writing this letter helped Grell feel better. He had gotten ready for the day (with some difficulty) and chose a pretty, purple letter paper. He wrote in black ink and scented it with one of his floral perfumes. The shinigami had solved Sebastian's riddle after reading over the letter a few more times, he found it out by matching his comment about his hair being "sweet" and "red" with the thing he requested being "sweet and "red" as well. Also, it made it clearer because he compared his hair to the roses outside his window, and the rose petals in the envelope were another clue to that. He was proud of himself, for figuring this out – and had made a very small braid from the underside of his hair in the back (no one would ever notice, he had so much hair) and cut it off with one of his knives, afterwards knotting either end of the braid. Since the braid was too long to stuff in an envelope, Grell rolled his letter up and wrapped the braid around it, securing it with a thin black ribbon.

The shinigami placed it in his coat pocket – deciding to deliver it whenever he had the chance. He spent about an hour to record his dream in his dream-diary and place Sebastian's drawing in his scrapbook with a passage of writing. It was about 8:10 AM when he walked out of his room and into the cafeteria, seeing mostly everyone was already there. He quickly got his usual yogurt parfait (it was cheap and tasty, though not very filling) before approaching the table that William and Rachael were sitting at.

"Good morning, Will!" Rachael had been in the middle of a sentence when Grell had rudely interrupted. She eyed him suspiciously; he probably just wanted William to feed him again.

"Sutcliff, can't Knox feed you? I'm sure it's embarrassing for Mr. Spears." Grell had already seated himself, and was now looking at Rachael as if she had a huge booger leaking out of her nose, letting out a giggle before he replied.

"But Brownie, Knoxie would get me all dirty. Besides, Will _likes_ feeding me!" He flashed a pretty smile at William, hoping he would agree.

"Do not call me that, Sutcliff, it is very disrespectful. To you, I am Miss Brown." Grell ignored her, turning his chair towards William. Once he was settled he looked up at William again.

"Feed me, baba!" Grell opened his mouth wide to confirm that he was ready, as Rachael continued her meal irritably.


	49. Chapter 49

AN: I promised this chapter out last week and it would have been out last week if there had not been complications beyond my control. My modem which connects me to the internet gave out. I am using my regular computer now and it has wireless internet connection. FYI, there may be a possible lemon in the next chapter between Grell and Sebastian! I know that you want that, but tell me in a review if you do (or don't). FYI, I learned that in the 1880's - 1890's "pants" was a dirty word! - Madame Stephanie

* * *

William sighed softly to himself as Rachael argued with Grell, he wished that Rachael would be more considerate, what a nightmare that would be – allowing _Knox_ to feed Grell – not only would Knox get Grell dirty as he would be talking and laughing with his friends while feeding him, he would also allow any of his other friends to feed him, and William knew that they (or to name them, his other dispatchers) may even be less responsible and miss his mouth to gorge out his eye by accident. William decided that the safest action by this point was not respond to either of them, Rachael or Grell, and help feed his dispatcher. He pushed his own meal aside and pulled Grell's closer so that he could fill the spoon easier and noticed as he was placing the utensil in Grell's mouth that his meal was awfully small, William had already known that Grell didn't eat as much as he should, but this parfait would be digested in minutes and surely wasn't enough for a man his age. As William brought the spoon to him again (He felt that Grell calling him 'baba' now was more than appropriate, as this is how a parent would feed their young child.) he told Grell, "Grell Sutcliff, I have been aware for a long time now of your irresponsible eating choices from your underweight appearance, but even I didn't imagine that _this_ could be your breakfast." William made it apparent what 'this' was by point at his parfait as though it was avoiding its duties as a meal as Grell would occasionally avoid his duties as a dispatcher. "It does not matter to me how you choose to address yourself, but either way you are not physically a woman but a full-grown _man,_ and to properly function and maintain your _male_ body you will need to eat more than this, even _this_ is the minimum for a woman's diet."

Grell did not respond as his mouth was full of yogurt, granola, and strawberries. When he had fully chewed and swallowed, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but it was only in preparation for William's next spoonful of the parfait which was already half-way empty. William noticed that the finely-crafted glass cup that held the parfait was only a reasonable 15 centimetres in height and wouldn't last much longer, Grell did not seem to notice or care about that though, as he took the next spoonful in his mouth eagerly. When it was gone William watched and waited for Grell to show obvious, outward signs of hunger, but Grell only licked his lips and took the spoon from William to suck on. It was enough for William to cut off whatever Rachael was saying to ask Grell, "Mister Sutcliff, aren't you still hungry?" Grell seemed displeased by the use of his last name and after reminding William irritably that it was _Miss_ Sutcliff, not Mister Sutcliff, also informed William that he was _always_ hungry but that was something that he had learned to live with. Grell's answer did not seem to go over well with William, because he said almost angrily afterward, "_Mister_ Sutcliff, that is not something that you should learn to live with, it is ridiculous for you to have adapted to something like that! This problem could be solved so easily by buying a more suitable breakfast, as your manager and caretaker I-" When Grell realised that William would not be satisfied until he had bought himself another breakfast, Grell leaned in and took William's face in his hands to press his lips against his, which silenced him quickly. It was a short kiss and William did not kiss him back, but it was enough, when Grell broke away William had a neutral and distant look on his face, as though Grell's kiss had been the kiss of death and had stolen his soul.

William lightly touched his hand to his lips with almost a contemplative expression before he collected himself once more to his usual manner. He sighed as he had earlier, more loudly perhaps, and pulled his own plate to him again. Instead of eating it himself, he began to feed Grell his own meal, who made a small sound of protest, but chewed anyway because he knew that William wouldn't eat anything that had been in his mouth. William did not stop though, once Grell had swallowed he put more in his mouth, "Honestly, Grell, the lengths I have to go to for you…!" By the time William had finished feeding Grell what remained of his meal, their breakfast break was already over. He told Rachael and Grell to begin work and offered to take their dishes away, Rachael gave William a curt thank you. Grell's sounded far more appreciative and included a small kiss on his cheek. Grell left afterward, passing Rachael as he walked quickly, he didn't see the faint pink blush on William's face as he busied himself with the dishes.

* * *

Grell knew that he was very busy because of his absences, and that he should be working, but it had been so long! He walked down the hallway cheerfully with his arms full of toys (he had to stop by his room to get them), until he arrived at the infirmary – which he had to pass through to reach the nursery for the young shinigami children and infants. Technically, none of the children were his, but he felt he had a motherly bond with all of them, he always had a soft spot for children (especially babies) and Grell could never have children of his own - at least not the way he wanted to. So he considered these his children, at least he liked to pretend they were. He knew their parents, and he would ask them occasionally if he could take their sweeties out for a treat – the parents didn't know of Grell's house games – they just assumed he was fond of their children.

There were four children in the nursery, two boys – Ashley and Charlie, and two girls – Charlotte and Alison. They were all in their toddler stage besides Alison, who was an infant. Grell got along with them very well, considering he was mentally a child himself in ways.

Natural-born shinigami were a wonder, they weren't reanimated after death like most. They were born like a human, grew like a human until their body reached full maturity, and then they stopped growing to remain immortal in that state. It was a mystery how it worked to Grell, and he found it quite fascinating. It was curious to think how these same shinigami might view him in about fifteen years.

...

Helen Abbott – one of the official shinigami nurses, looked away from the shelf she was dusting and toward the glass wall which connected the infirmary to the nursery. This clear wall was convenient because she could check on the children present there without actually having to walk inside; it was also useful for spotting any mischief that they might cause if they weren't properly supervised. The nurse had been hearing a lot more laughter and sound than she usually did coming from inside and she hadn't noticed that Grell had slipped into the room without her knowing.

As she looked through, Helen spotted Grell sitting on the floor bouncing Alison in his lap while the other children (and his Madame Missy) sat around him; he seemed to be reading them a book that looked far too complicated for small children to understand. She smiled as she opened the door just a touch to get a better understanding of what they were saying – since they seemed to be talking more than actually reading the story.

"Miss Grell, what is a princess?" Charlotte asked with curiosity. Grell smirked cleverly as he pondered for a good answer to tell the child.

"A princess..." He began, petting some of Alison's hair. "Is a beautiful, dainty, young maiden with long hair and pale skin. They often get into trouble, so they have a protector – referred to as a knight. In most cases you could say it's their secret _lover_~"

"Then how come Sleeping Beauty doesn't have a knight?" Charlie brought up, since the story Grell was reading to them was about a princess – which was how they got on this subject. Grell realised this flaw, deciding to make up an excuse to sound more convincing.

"She does, he is just not mentioned because he is not important to this particular story... But as I was saying, Charlie, princesses are very good at crafting things, and they love children. Princesses always smell nice too, and are attracted to well-groomed men who can protect them. Unfortunately they are quite lonely, and have very stressful lives... But they always have happy endings!" Grell smiled, leaning in closer to the group of children. "Did you know that _I_ am a princess?"

"But Miss Grell, I thought princesses were all ladies." Ashley stated, remembering Grell saying that princesses were young maidens.

"Boys can be princesses _too_!" Grell whined. Why should girls get to have all the fun?

Helen decided she should probably stop Grell before he became even more immature than the real children. It was quite obvious that he was trying to fit himself into the image of a princess, the things he said about them weren't exactly untrue – but it wasn't the proper description of a princess. She walked into the room with an exasperated smile on her face, gently lifting Alison out of Grell's arms.

"Actually, a princess is simply the daughter of a king and queen – which are titles for a type of human rulers - not unlike the one here in London."

Grell sighed, Helen had just _ruined_ everything! Now the children won't be convinced he was a princess – like he had intended. Why did they need to know the proper definition? It wasn't important. The shinigami looked up at Helen, who was smiling down at him. Grell frowned, she was so pretty, with her perfect blonde ringlets and pink cheeks. Then his attention turned to Alison – the adorable baby girl that he absolutely adored.

"Why did you take her from me, Helen? I want to hold her!" Grell pouted, but before he could get a reply from her the other children got up and surrounded Helen.

"Look what Miss Grell made for me, Helen!" Charlotte indicated to the handmade dress her doll was wearing.

"Miss Grell got me a new toy, Helen, see?" Charlie swung a wooden sword in front of Helen.

"Me too! Look at mine!" Ashley waved a toy boat as high as he could so Helen could see it better.

Helen laughed lightly, Grell was certainly fond of these children. It seemed as though he visited them more than their actual parents did, he bought them gifts and took them out occasionally – she was glad he was here for them since their parents were often very busy. She wondered why _he_ wasn't as much. "That's all very nice, children. Now why don't you go play with your new toys while I speak with Grell for a moment?" The children nodded and sat down in a different part of the room, chatting amongst themselves. Grell stood up fluidly, pondering on what Helen would want to speak to him about. He looked at her curiously, before noticing Alison again - his face lighting up as he smiled excitedly.

"Are you going to let me feed Alison? It's been _so_ long!" Grell clasped his hands together, watching as the baby sucked on its small fist. He especially loved this one, she was so precious and Grell liked to pretend she was his own. If she were though, Grell probably wouldn't have named her Alison – he would have preferred a name like Love, or Rapunzel, maybe Lady.

Helen giggled again, gently shaking her head no. "Not now, Grell, perhaps later. I just thought it would be convenient if I checked on your injuries while you were here. It _has_ been a reasonable 30 hours since your last check-up, is your back hurting any? I should probably give you some more medicine, and check on your wrist's healing progress." Grell sighed disappointedly while rolling his eyes, check-ups were so boring, and he had been looking forward to feeding Alison.

"All right, Helen, I should probably be returning to work soon anyway." Grell said unenthusiastically. Helen nodded and set Alison back in her crib as Grell said goodbye to the others and gathered his things. He quickly followed behind her, leaning over the crib – his hair spilling over the bars. "Goodbye, my little love~ I'm sure you will sleep much better with that new blanket I made for you."

Helen took Grell through the door and back into the infirmary, setting him down on one of the patient beds. She asked him to remove his shirt as she prepared the medicine she was going to apply to his bruises. Grell didn't protest, simply obeying and taking off his shirt to carefully set it aside. Helen pushed Grell's hair out of the way to examine his bruises, making a small sound of disapproval before she began treating the same rub-on medicine to his back as she had before.

"Your bruises aren't looking much better since the last time I saw you, Grell. I suggest you come here to apply this to them at least twice a day to improve the process of the healing. If I'm not available, I'm sure Rose (the other nurse) would be happy to assist you." Grell sighed, this was _so_ boring, hopefully he could find time in his schedule to come here twice a day. The shinigami supposed that he could use it as an excuse to see Alison and the others.

Helen tucked a ringlet behind her ear before putting the medicine away, telling Grell he could put his shirt back on. She thoroughly began examining Grell's right wrist, smiling at him when she was done after gently setting it down. "Your wrist is healing quickly, Grell! I assume it may be another week or two before it is ready to function. Just keep taking care of it and you won't have to wait much longer." Shinigami were much stronger than humans and healed much faster, so the wait was significantly decreased compared to the amount of time it would take if Grell were human. She then gave him a shot as she had the last time Grell came – assuming that his back was probably hurting.

...

Helen had assumed correctly as it had only taken about two weeks for Grell to have his wrist free again. In that time span Grell had also managed to catch up with his work, so things were a lot easier for the shinigami now. Unfortunately he had to feed himself again, and he couldn't sit with William (and Rachael) anymore – but it wasn't so bad because he had missed eating with Knox, but the teasing involved was not missed. Grell had made William a card in gratitude for helping him while his wrist was broken. He had made William a lot of cards over the years, it was something he enjoyed doing because he usually received some sort of appreciation or affection for it. Grell had also been writing to Sebastian throughout this entire time – their letters were becoming much longer and more intimate as they continued, and Grell was convinced that Sebastian actually valued his letters! The shinigami missed the demon more and more with each reply – but could never find the right time to see him since he was so busy. But now that he wasn't, he found himself at the doorstep of the Phantomhive manor.

The shinigami was actually quite intelligent when he wasn't acting stupid, and had been very careful about his plan to visit Sebastian. He knew William would _never_ give him permission to see the demon (he usually encouraged him not to) so he had decided that he would have to do it secretly. He waited for a night when William wasn't working overtime, so he would be able to sneak out when the other was sleeping. Grell had made sure he looked his best (he hadn't seen Sebastian in a while and he wanted to influence the mental image of his beauty that the demon wrote about in his letters). Unfortunately he had to play on the safe side so he left the ministry in his nightgown and slippers, wearing very light makeup. This was just in case someone noticed him when he returned and he could just say he couldn't sleep and wanted some fresh air (it would be very suspicious if he were all dressed up). The shinigami did his best to spruce himself up with his cosmetics and perfume, and other than his hair being slightly damp from the shower he overall thought he looked the best he could look in his situation.

Grell had left around 10:20 PM (William went to bed early when he wasn't working overtime) and had rode his bike there – it was much faster than walking and he wanted to preserve as much time as possible. The shinigami hoped that Sebastian wouldn't be too surprised, the demon had mentioned that he would like to see him in his letters, so he must have been expecting him sometime. Grell hadn't mentioned anything about his wrist being healed yet, but it had been a while so Sebastian probably wouldn't be too surprised about that either. He assumed that the demon had already sensed his presence, but he knocked on the door anyway, he felt a bit nervous as well as excited to see him again.

When Sebastian opened the door Grell felt relieved at the sight of him, the shinigami had missed him unbearably. He felt his heart sink and a longing pain penetrate his chest as he looked into the demon's eyes. Grell couldn't help but smile softly as he twiddled his fingers absent-mindedly while holding his Madame Missy.

"Hello, Sebastian…"


	50. Chapter 50

AN: I have had requests for a lemon and now I have written a lemon! It is my first attempt at writing sexual content. I'm a little nervous to upload this. FWI, refrigerators have been in use since 1830! BTW, your reviews are the highlight of my day! EDIT: Grell is not a virgin anymore. It doesn't make sense for Grell to be a virgin. I hope you understand. - Madame Stephanie

* * *

Sebastian had put Ciel to bed at 9:00 PM, and for the past hour and a half Sebastian had been cleaning small messes and preparing for the next morning, like he always did after Ciel and the servants of the manor were sleeping. If anyone had seen him they may have thought that he looked strangely peaceful as he carefully moved from room to room to clean, dusting and polishing surfaces and ornaments in the dim, spacious rooms of the manor with an almost-sad expression on his face. It was only at night that Sebastian could be at peace with himself and the world around him, when no one was there to disturb and distract him; it was only at night that he could allow his attention to waver from what always had to be on his mind during the daylight hours. Sebastian was the mind and power of a demon hidden in a human body and normally this would mean that his demonic mind was always focused on his contract and that his human body would hold no sway over what he thought and felt, but strangely enough, at night those reassurances never remained true.

It must have been the shinigami, there was something about him that demanded his attention even during the day, and was stronger at night. Sebastian would see and feel him everywhere, in the shadows of the room or in the corner of his eye, Sebastian knew that they weren't actually who he wanted to believe they were and that if he were to pull back the softly swaying curtain it would not be his fair figure that he saw, but the branches and leaves of a tree outside. Sebastian knew that the soft floral scent that reminded him so much of the way he had smelt the last time he had seen him that it did not mean that he was in the room or even nearby but that the flowers in the porcelain vase were still fresh. And Sebastian knew that the soft feel of the black satin couch that he allowed his fingers to skim across as he passed the room was not the white silk of his skin that he would have loved to feel underneath his hands. These were wishful thoughts and imaginings; it was actually disappointing that he allowed these illusions based on the memories he had of the shinigami to have such an effect on him. Sebastian set down his feather duster on an end table and sat down on the satin couch in the room, he reached into his jacket and removed a long red braid of hair that trailed to the floor when it was unfurled, and turned it over once or twice in his hand.

It was soft and smelt nice, the reason Sebastian had asked for it was so he could remember him when he was away, but as things were Sebastian did not need a braid of his hair to do that. Sebastian, as a demon, had not wanted anything that Grell could have bought or made with his hands and human materials. Sebastian had wanted something more meaningful and something that Grell had not made but _grown_ from his own body. It was also more convenient because this could be taken everywhere he went and, if it were managed correctly, could last for thousands of years. Sebastian could almost sense his aura holding these brilliant red strands, as he continued to relax on the couch though, he realised that it was not the hair that he was sensing but Grell himself. Sebastian took in a sharp intake of breath and quickly stood to his feet, there was a moment where he paused to tuck the braid away in his inner coat pocket, before he walked quickly to the front doors where he could sense Grell approaching.

Sebastian paused in front of the doors and it was not long before those doors were all that was separating him from Grell. He waited as patiently as he could until he heard a knock from the other side, and it was after that when he opened the doors to allow the soft candlelight to spill over his princess, clothed only in an ivory nightgown, and to allow the equally soft moonlight to spill over Sebastian, clothed in his usual black suit. Grell was smiling nervously and gave him a soft greeting as he twiddled his fingers. Sebastian noticed then that the wrist of his right arm was fully healed, it was surprising at first, but Sebastian remembered then that Grell was a shinigami and would in any situation heal faster than a regular human. When the initial shock wore off Sebastian smiled mischievously, he knew that if his young master ever discovered that he had let Grell into the manor that he would be unhappy, but he didn't care now. He moved aside and with a slight bow told Grell, "Welcome to the Phantomhive manor, princess Grell, please come inside. I will take you to a place where you can relax while I make the necessary arrangements for your visit."

...

Sebastian returned to the room where he had asked Grell to wait for him with a silver tray in his hands, on the tray there was also a silver bowl that matched the tray which contained a trifle made of layers of sponge cake, custard, and fruit. There was also a cold bottle of Irish Cream (it had been stored in the refrigerator) and a silver goblet that was filled with the sweet, strong liquor. He set the tray on the coffee table in front of the couch where Grell was relaxing. Before he sat down beside him, Grell had been looking at the trifle and liquor set in front of him, but when Sebastian was securely situated beside him he averted his eyes from the treat to look his way. His eyes were captivating; they were golden like the sun and yet green like the grass as if they were mimicking a summer day, and although Sebastian was surrounded by man-made beauty produced through riches, he couldn't look away from those bright eyes. Sebastian touched a hand to the side of Grell's warm face, and asked him, "I hope that trifle and Irish Cream is to your liking? If not, I could bring you something else." Grell shook his head softly to indicate that he was happy with what Sebastian had brought him, and touched a hand to Sebastian's, which was still against his cheek, as if telling him not to go.

It was his left hand and Sebastian was reminded that Grell's wrist was fully healed; he smiled and spoke as an observation, "Your wrist is healed; I was not expecting it to so quickly, why didn't you mention that in a letter? I suppose that it is not important, it is a good thing. I imagine that you will be able to feed yourself now." Sebastian took his hand away and handed Grell the trifle in its silver bowl. Grell explained to Sebastian as he brought a spoonful to his mouth that he would have informed Sebastian but he had only gotten the cast off recently, and had already sent his letter by that time. It was the beginning of their conversation and by the end of that time Grell had finished his trifle entirely and drank two glasses of Irish Cream; by then he was rather dizzy and told Sebastian that he couldn't drink anymore. He set the silver goblet aside and leaned against Sebastian in his slightly intoxicated state. Grell let out a small hiccup which shook his whole body before he adjusted himself more comfortably, with his head resting against his shoulder and holding onto his arm for convenience.

Sebastian looked down at Grell who thanked Sebastian for the treat in a soft voice, he went on to explain that he did not get dessert or liquor very often, so when he did it was very enjoyable. Sebastian smiled and took his arm away from Grell, who protested at first, only to become silent when Sebastian wrapped his arms securely around his waist and turned Grell to face him to kiss him passionately. He bit his plump lower lip and Grell opened his mouth enough for Sebastian's long tongue to enter, and from there Sebastian skimmed carefully over his teeth, the walls and roof of his mouth, before dancing with Grell's tongue. There was a strong taste of Irish Cream, the cream, sugar, and alcohol left no remnants of the trifle he had eaten earlier. Grell hiccupped into the kiss before letting out a soft moan of pleasure, his hands reaching upward to tangle his fingers in Sebastian's soft, dark hair. Sebastian broke away for air, breathing quickly and soundlessly, before reaching in again to follow a strand of scarlet hair to his collarbone. He licked its full length before he bit down softly, testing its endurance, before kissing the small mark he left behind with warm, chapped lips.

With Sebastian's arms still around Grell's small waist and Grell's hands no longer in Sebastian's hair but around his neck, they fell back onto the couch, where Grell's vivid hair spilled over the black satin of the couch and lay in heaps on the wooden floor and at the end of a Persian rug. His breathing was coming quickly and audibly, his eyes were bright and lidded, and his ghostly pale skin and ivory nightgown were golden and flickering in the dim candlelight. Shadows came and went across his face and body when Sebastian pulled his right arm away from Grell to reach unnoticed into his nightgown, to skim the length of Grell's leg with his fingertips before he wrapped his hand around Grell's stiff erection that was straining against his underwear. Sebastian smiled at the instant, loud intake of breath and the even louder groan that escaped those peachy, pouty lips. He felt Grell tighten and swell further against his hand and his body warm up drastically as his eyes watched him nervously, as though uncertain what he would do next, he heard Grell whisper his name in a frightened voice that stuttered on the first syllable.

Sebastian paused with his hand still on Grell's erection and his eyes looking into the Grell's, from which tears now flowed freely. Sebastian watched Grell try to blink them away unsuccessfully, but they had no intention of ceasing and clung to his real and fake eyelashes in small beads. Was Grell frightened by his actions? Sebastian whispered in his ear, "Princess, are you frightened?" his warm breath blew over him comfortably, and Grell shook his head no. After Grell shook his head no, Sebastian lifted Grell over his shoulder and stood up from the couch with a wide, demonic smile and pink, natural eyes.

...

Sebastian's skilful hands untied the strings that kept Grell's nightgown on his body, and those same hands took the bottom hem and pulled it over his head to remove the gown entirely. Grell watched Sebastian from his position on the butler's bed; he also watched his expensive ivory nightgown fall to the floor beside the bed and lay there unmoving, he was still rather dizzy from the Irish Cream and without his glasses these sights were almost surreal. Sebastian's eyes did not follow the nightgown though; he was looking over Grell's body which was almost entirely revealed all but his underwear which looked as though it might tear under pressure. He gently placed a gloved hand on Grell's exposed neck, he let it rest there for a short time before he began to run his fingers over Grell's body – he started at his collarbone, he traced its full length before he moved down to the side of Grell's right breast, he moved to the left and had his index finger trace a circle around Grell's tight, pink nipple. He moved down from there, the fingers softly skimming the milky white skin and brushing against the slight indentions of his ribs which rose and fell with his heavy breathing, until he reached his oval-shaped naval which he also circled before continuing down to the hem of his scarlet underwear. He followed it to the right, feeling the projection of his hip bone and he would have moved down from there if his finger hadn't brushed against another, unexpected projection. – He pulled his hand away to look more closely at what he had touched, and saw that it was a small, circular mole.

It was high on his hip and very small, it was still noticeable though, and that was good because it was very attractive. It was also the only mark or blemish on Grell's otherwise perfect, white skin, it stood out quite obviously. Sebastian smiled at its presence and licked the dark circle before kissing it. "This is a beautiful blemish, a perfect imperfection; there is so much I never knew about you… I will not regret this night." Sebastian took the hem of Grell's underwear and pulled it off, just as he had with his nightgown, and dropped it at the side of the bed. He took Grell's legs and spread them wide to reveal the beautiful section of his body that his underwear had previously hidden; Sebastian took in the sight curiously as he had done with his earlier mates, before he removed his gloves with his teeth and tossed them with all of the other clothing at the side of the bed. From his jacket he removed a glass bottle of lotion and tossed the jacket aside also, considering the circumstances, he was very hot and didn't need a jacket. After he unscrewed the cap he poured the white, cold liquid onto his hands and after coating his fingers brushed them gently against Grell's small, pink hole.

He heard Grell draw in a shuddering gasp when the cold lotion touched against his entrance and involuntarily puckered himself against the threatening digit, but with the coating of lotion the intruding finger slid inside with ease. Sebastian rotated before adding his middle finger to join his index and began to exert scissor-like pressure against the muscles that were already beginning to tighten against him, when he added his ring finger (with some difficulty) he pushed deeper into Grell before he flexed them in different directions, brought them together again, pulled back and then repeated his previous action. Grell was panting softly as though he was having difficulty breathing and his long fingers were tangled in Sebastian's white comforter. As Sebastian was preparing Grell for an even greater pressure he reached forward to kiss along Grell's jaw, who moaned accordingly, Sebastian moved from there to his neck where he found Grell's jugular like he had on the night he had been in his room and seduced him in his sleep. Sebastian pulled away from Grell's neck and also withdrew his fingers, which were now rather warm and had lost their lotion coating; he smirked wickedly as he unbuttoned and unzipped his own trousers, pulling down his underwear with them to fully reveal his bottom half.

He did not stay in that position on his knees for very long, he was there only long enough to once more coat Grell's entrance and his length in lotionand once he had finished he positioned himself against Grell. He didn't push in immediately, he gave Grell enough time to prepare himself, but when he did, it was slow at first. When he had pushed all of himself inside he paused, allowing Grell time to become used to his presence, while he was waiting he looked into Grell's eyes and spoke with a smile, "I am impressed that for once you were patient…" He used his right hand and once more took Grell's erection; he tightened his grip and continued over Grell's loud groan, "Now is the time for _your_ enjoyment."

Sebastian began his thrusting; he pulled out and pushed back in, at a slow even pace at first but quickly gaining speed – once he was at a fast pace he began pumping Grell who had been more quiet before but was now becoming rather loud, until he was shouting his name – his fingers clenched and unclenched in the comforter so he wouldn't run his nails down Sebastian's back. If Grell had been feeling dizzy before he certainly was now, with every thrust at this heightened speed his body was pushed forward some, rocking the whole bed. Although he was silent at first, Sebastian began to groan himself as their intercourse reached climax, all until Grell had his orgasm and came over himself with a loud cry of pleasure. Sebastian came a thrust or two afterward, and after a short moment he pulled out of Grell entirely. Exhausted, Sebastian laid down beside Grell on the bed.

...

After Sebastian and Grell had cleaned up the mess they had made and gotten dressed, Sebastian was resting with his back against his headboard, and Grell was leaning against him comfortably. Sebastian had decided that he would allow him to stay there, as it wouldn't cause any harm and Grell seemed exhausted. For Sebastian, sexual intercourse wasn't anything special, Grell was not his first mate and would certainly not be his last, but perhaps he could keep him for a while since they would both be in the same area. Sebastian played with a strand of Grell's hair as he thought over the idea. Sebastian understood that for most people sexual intercourse created an emotional bond that would be difficult to break. Sebastian pulled his arm away from Grell, who looked at him curiously, and went to his dresser. He opened a drawer and removed a small, golden key from inside; he walked back to the bed and handed this key to Grell. He sat back down on the bed knowing that Grell was waiting for an explanation. "The key that I have given you will open the back gate of the Phantomhive manor. If you intend to visit me again, I believe that if you came through that way it would be more convenient. I can sense your presence, I will know that you are waiting for me outside, and I will either go outside to greet you or let you in through the back door."

* * *

Mey-Rin and the other servants had been sleeping in their own gloomy accommodation, which contained not much of anything but a few beds and tables. The place had faint candlelight, but it was enough to satisfy the easily frightened Mey-Rin and Finny (Bard had no fear of the dark). The maid had found her large glasses and was now sitting glumly on her dull bed; she suspected the others were sleeping – as they hadn't made any obvious signs to show they were awake. She sighed drearily, as she was venerable to listen to the loud moaning coming from Sebastian's room, which was smoothly increasing volume.

The voice was hard to mistake (if you knew him), it could have been no other than her friend Grell that had been residing here about two weeks ago. Sebastian should technically be sleeping in this room with them, but the Young Master had provided him with the special privilege of his own room. Not that he did much with it, she had never caught him sleeping, and she hardly saw him in the room for any other reason. Mey-Rin had always been the one to manage the mail, so she had been delivering the colourful, scented letters to the butler personally. Once she asked who they were from (as she had been very curious after seeing the braid of hair one came with) and he simply smirked and told her bluntly they were from Grell. She had been suspecting things between them ever since, but what she was hearing now had confirmed everything – it was quite obvious that Sebastian was homosexual – which was something she considered more disappointing than she would have thought.

It all made sense now. The man was too pretty; he had a love for cats, was brilliant at cooking, and was very careful and graceful with everything he did. These were all very un-masculine traits that she should have noticed earlier so that she wouldn't have let herself become too fond of the man. If she didn't have much of a chance with him before, she had absolutely no chance now – the maid was completely _bummed_ and couldn't sleep anymore.

She thought about Grell – the sound of his strange, attractive (and very loud) groaning reminded her of him. Mey-Rin wondered what was so special about the man that Sebastian was attracted to, she had never suspected him with another mate before, and he certainly showed no interest in any of the people residing here. The more she thought about Grell, the maid realised that once she got past his teeth, and the overall strangeness of his appearance, that Grell was probably one of the most beautiful people she had ever seen. His hair was so _red_ – scarlet, garnet, crimson, claret – all of those came close to describing the brilliance of his glossy hair, which was unnaturally long, with a thick, soft texture as if it were a mass of ribbons. His eye-colour was like one she had never seen, it seemed to sit somewhere pleasantly between a yellow and a green. The colour complemented his dark hair and his white skin which beamed entirely flawless. His body was thin and long, and was shaped rather uniquely for a man – and he had the prettiest smile the maid had ever seen before. Of course these were only the highlights of Grell's beauty and Mey-Rin found herself rather envious of him and his relationship with Sebastian. She sighed again as it became much harder to block out the noise from Sebastian's room, as Grell was extremely loud and now moaning Sebastian's name between the other sounds. The maid heard a loud groan (that obviously wasn't Grell) which came from the other side of the room.

"_I can't take it anymore!_ Someone go tell Sebastian's wench to shut up so I can get some damn sleep!" Bard shot up from his bed and threw his pillow with vigour, causing Mey-Rin to jump and scream in surprise.

"B-Bard! You were _awake_?" Mey-Rin hadn't expected that at all!

"Damn right I was, been up all night listening to those two; couldn't he have taken his woman to a guest room or something? He should realise that there are _normal_ people living here that need their sleep!" Sebastian was a weirdo and never seemed to sleep, even though he functioned normally in the day – he must have some sort of mental problem. "Since when has Sebastian had a lady-friend anyway? I've never seen her over here before, have you?" Mey-Rin blushed and looked away, Bard was obviously convinced that it was a woman, perhaps she shouldn't tell him.

"Well… Uh, no! I-I haven't seen him." Mey-Rin blushed deeper, realising what she just said. She looked at Bard, who seemed confused.

"Him? Just what do you mean by that, Mey-Rin?"

"D-Don't be so loud, Bard! You'll wake Finny up." Bard laughed at her concern, looking at the peaceful, sleeping Finnian.

"Come on, Mey-Rin. Don't try to avoid answering by telling me this rock is going to wake up. You know well enough a train could come in here _right now_ and he would still be snoring." Bard looked back at Mey-Rin, who seemed very nervous (which was her usual behaviour). "You want Sebastian, right? I'm sure you know his wench, tell me who it is! I won't tell him you told me, if that will make you feel better." Mey-Rin sighed; realising there was no way out of it.

"Um… Do you remember that, uh, guest we had a while back…?" Bard pondered on the subject, he remembered going into their room to serve them a meal that Sebastian didn't find suitable. He snickered when he remembered the guest.

"You mean he's sleeping with _her_? She was one odd-looking lady, I'll tell you that. Sebastian sure has strange taste in women." Mey-Rin sighed again; she couldn't believe she was going to have to tell him this.

"Well, about that, Bard… Our guest wasn't exactly a _lady_…" There was a silence for some moments, before Bard burst out laughing.

"Are you telling me that our Sebastian is a _queer_?" Bard couldn't stop himself from laughing as he said it; the idea became funnier the longer he thought about it. "I should have known! Now that I think about it, it's so obvious!"

...

Grell had not expected, or intended that to happen. He came to Sebastian innocently with no expectations; it was almost unbelievable to the reaper the situation he was in right now. He had just given himself to Sebastian, and now he was holding a key, which gave him permission to see Sebastian whenever he liked. Grell's lower body ached, and stung whenever he moved; but he didn't care, he almost didn't even notice it. Yes, he would definitely see Sebastian again – he couldn't even imagine _not_ seeing him again. Grell wanted to see him every day, he wanted to buy him things and make him things, he wanted play games with him and have long conversations with him, he would be fine if all he got to do was sit and stare at him – bask in the happiness that Sebastian was finally _his_. Grell had been lonely for so long, to him Sebastian telling him he could visit him was as big as if Sebastian had just proposed to him and this key was his ring of devotion. The shinigami's expression resembled absolute bliss as fresh tears built up in his eyes; as he once again leaned on Sebastian's warm body. Grell loved how it felt to lean on someone, now that he finally could.

"Thank you, Sebastian. You don't know how much this means to me." Grell spoke softly, almost in a whisper. He felt Sebastian wipe away at his tears, before placing his glasses on his face. Everything came into focus in that moment, and when he looked up he could see clearly the attractive features of his demon lover. Grell stared at him for a while, until Sebastian unexpectedly lifted him into his arms, explaining that it was probably time for him to be returning home.

...

Sebastian had carried Grell home since he wasn't in a state where he could walk very well, Grell had decided that he would pick up his bike later (he was out and about), and it was reasonably 12:40 PM. The shinigami was now back in his room, he placed Sebastian's key gift onto his key-ring, afterwards lying down on his bed with his Madame Missy. He wasn't tired, and he had a lot on his mind – so he imagined he wouldn't be getting a lot of sleep tonight.


	51. Chapter 51

Ronald Knox returned to the Ministry of Hades (London Division) in a very bad mood, which was unlike his usual, cheerful mood, but he imagined that anyone would be unhappy after a difficult, painful mission that involved information-gathering, reaping, judging and recording the deceased spanning from noon yesterday morning to early the next day (9:00 AM – too late for breakfast but still two hours until lunch) on a particularly cold and rainy spring morning. He was exhausted and grumpy, he ignored many of his friends he passed in the hallway on his way to the infirmary, his left hand clutching a deep cut on his right arm that was still bleeding, which would have subjected his glove to allow blood to soak through if they had been velvet like Boss Sutcliff's rather than leather.

He removed his hand from his arm to run that same hand through his sopping hair, (leaving behind a small streak of blood in what would have been perfect blonde swirls in any other situation) he was leaving a trail of water and an occasional drip of blood on the clean tile floors, but that was the problem of the unfortunate soul on cleaning duty, not his. He pushed up his glasses which were slipping off his nose; he could hardly see where he was going because of all the water droplets on his lenses but he was in such a bad mood that he didn't care to clean them.

He was a corner and a few doors away from the infirmary when he heard familiar, unpleasant voices – they were Caleb's friends, Brandon, Jacob, and Walter – they weren't the brightest crayons in Boss Sutcliff's junk drawer, in Knox's opinion, but it would have been out of character for him to think anything else. He paused and pressed himself against a wall to listen to their conversation. (and gossip about it later) After the initial laughter died down, the first of them to speak was Brandon (he was the yellow crayon, he was flashy, but no one liked him) "I heard that William had a long, passionate night with some paperwork." Jacob was quick to add (he was the brown crayon, he was boring, and was too eager to please by agreeing with the other. If you add yellow and brown you make bathroom colours.) "I didn't hear that - but I did hear them at it, rustling and shuffling, all night long!" Walter was the last to join in, (he was the green crayon, he wasn't bad by himself as he was honest, but if you add green to yellow and brown it will be an ugly array of colours) "I didn't hear anything at all, but I did see Grell enter William's office late last night." (Knox imagined that Boss Sutcliff may have been sleepwalking, he went there often that way.)

Brandon seemed to find this funny, "Well, isn't that awful? We all knew Grell was cheating on his hand, but I didn't think William was involved!"

Walter was, once again, honest, "If that was his intention, Grell was probably rejected, like he always is."

Jacob was feeling left out, so he added, "If he wasn't such an idiot, he would have the sense to flirt with someone who is actually interested in him." (This made Knox angry; they didn't know anything about Grell, even if he could be an idiot.)

Walter spoke without hesitation, "No one is interested in Grell."

Brandon recognised a good opportunity, "Grell will flirt with _anything_ that has more testosterone than he does. It doesn't matter if they're interested, uninterested, heterosexual, homosexual, older, younger, human, inhuman, alive, _dead._"

There was a loud outburst of laughter and Knox had decided that he was going to put an end to this, his fist clenched and unclenched at his side, he was having an _awful_ day and when he was like this, this kind of rubbish made him angrier than it would have otherwise. In his initial shinigami training with William he had been taught how to fight at levels a human could never accomplish, but he was told that it was against the rules to ever use violence on another shinigami, unless of course it was in self-defence or somehow a matter of necessity, but he had always known that there would be temptation. This was not the first time something like this had happened and he doubted it would be the last. He had been born into an angry, violent lifestyle, had lived an angry, violent life, had died an angry, violent death at the age of 19 to be reanimated and expected to be someone new. William had done his best to change and heal him through therapy, and it had helped, but old habits die hard and on days like this anyone who upset him was going to get _hurt_.

Knox turned the corner that he had been using to eavesdrop and stepped into the hallway that lead to the infirmary and, more importantly, his targets. "You lot are sorry sons of bitches! Sorry, because when I'm through with you, I'll have broken more than your bones, I'll have broken your will to ever say such rubbish again!" Brandon looked at Knox, unfazed by his threat; he almost looked bored until an entertained smile spread over his face. "Hello Knoxie, you aren't looking so good. I think that you should ask Grell for a few fashion tips, you would look better as a queer rather than attempting whatever half-hearted mess your current appearance is supposed to be, what with that _cute_ blonde hair you have that is so messy and dirty right now."

"Shut up!" Knox shouted, taking off his glasses and drying them on his filthy shirt, which wiped away the water but left them a little smeary. He put them back on and popped his knuckles menacingly, looking at Brandon with an expression that promised trouble. "Rather than sit there on your arse and tell lies about my manager and my friend, why don't you stand up and finish what you started?" Brandon's smile widened and he looked at Jacob who had a smile to mimic his, Jacob gave him a silent nod and motioned to Knox, and with a small laugh Brandon stood up from where he was previously sitting. "Alright Knoxie, if you want to fight me, come at me! I'll let you have the first move, since you're so eager."

Knox was sincere about fighting, and charged at Brandon as soon as he finished his sentence. He drew back his fist and aimed for Brandon's face, as soon as he made to hit him though, he was gone! Knox made a sound of surprise and made to turn around, but he was too slow, he felt a powerful kick to his back that not only knocked him off his feet but the breath out of his lungs, and sent him crashing face-first into the bench that Jacob and Walter had evacuated just in time to avoid being hit by a stray limb. It wasn't hardly enough to kill a shinigami or even wound them, but it was terribly painful, and for Knox, humiliating. To add insult to injury, Brandon spat on Knox's sprawled form and informed him laughingly,

"You're a _child_, Knoxie, you've hardly been here three years – did you really think that you could compete with me? If you're not careful, you won't live long enough to ever reach my level, allowing your pride to overcome your logic and picking fights with people stronger than you are two ways to get killed. That was a strategy for life, I think that you also need a strategy for your life as a shinigami; I think that reading the rule book that Will gave you might help. If you think now that you can report me, you're wrong, you are entirely at fault. You threatened me and then were _stupid_ enough to attack first; the rules allow me to fight back in self-defence, so don't tell Will this happened, or you may find that _you_ will be the one who's punished… I would suggest that you remember this, you can call it a life-lesson, if you'd like."

Brandon and his friends, or Caleb's friends to dub them all, left after that. If there was any benefit to having your face hit against a wooden bench with the full power of a mature shinigami's kick, it was that it hurt so badly that Knox could hardly feel it. After a full minute or two, he adjusted himself in a way that he could sit up shakily and run his tongue over his split lip and the salty trickle of blood from his nose. He gingerly felt his nose for a break but felt nothing unusual and assumed it wasn't broken. He could feel that the impact had damaged the skin on his forehead and it was now bleeding lightly, but that wasn't important, he was almost fully used to his modified body and knew it would be healed by tomorrow if he cleaned it properly.

It was a good thing the infirmary was so close, he wouldn't tell either of the nurses what happened though, not because he was afraid of getting in trouble but because it was so _humiliating._ He knew that his bruised cheeks were a deep red with blush; he touched a hand to his cheek and felt their warmth and also the _pain_ that resulted from the physical contact. He doubted that he had ever been so embarrassed in his life, and it wasn't a flustered embarrassment that resulted from playful teasing, it was the kind of embarrassment you felt when you did something so incredibly stupid that you _hated_ yourself for it. Like if you were flirting with a girl with a booger dangling from your nose, or if you asked a relative on a holiday when her baby was due and she told you she wasn't pregnant, or if you had gas at your sister's wedding and accidently farted really loudly as they were making their vows.

But even that couldn't compare to what Knox felt now, it wasn't like any of those at all, because those are the kind of things that are embarrassing when they happen but you might tell your mates when you're drunk or when you're playing "truth or dare" with Boss Sutcliff, you might even think they were funny later. But this was just painful. It hurt. Even if he had not been in terrible, physical pain there was still the even worse pain of his damaged pride. He felt a pressure behind his eyes that he knew were tears, but he wouldn't let them spill, even if he couldn't stop them from forming. His lip trembled but he wouldn't make a sound, he was a _man,_ he wasn't going to cry. He wouldn't allow himself to.

...

At the aquarium with Grell, Knox watched the fish glumly. It wasn't really an aquarium; it was a large fish-tank in a longue on the second floor, but that was what Grell would call it when he mentioned it. All Knox knew about the aquarium is that there were a lot of ugly fish in a large tank that Grell thought were pretty and went to visit occasionally. Grell had told him once that coming here helped him feel better when he was down, but Knox supposed he wasn't as lucky as Grell was to have the ability to be reassured by such a simple thing.

Knox couldn't say that he felt any better now than he did before, he had showered, gone to the infirmary to treat the cut on his arm and the mess that was his face, and written down what happened in his journal, but he didn't feel much better afterward. The emotional pain wasn't so intense now, it had changed from a sharp to a dull pain, but it didn't mean that it hurt any less. He hadn't told Boss Sutcliff what had happened, who had of course asked about his face and his unusual gloomy demeanour, but Knox had said that he didn't want to talk about it. Instead he tried to change the subject and act like he would if this had been any other day. He pointed to a fish that he knew Grell liked from previous trips to the aquarium and told him with a smile, "I'm hungry, Grell, and I want that fish – it has such plump, round cheeks – all I need is a way to break the tank!"

Of course this distracted Grell, who immediately tried to stop Knox as he lifted a nearby armchair to break the glass. (or so he said) Grell told him hysterically that if he broke the tank that all of the fish would die, and that he _liked_ that one! Knox's smile grew at the sound of Grell's voice, actually enjoying himself some at this overreaction. "I like that fish too, Grell, I'll like it on my plate and in my stomach! And it doesn't matter if all of the fish die, that means more food!" he laughed loudly and struggled against Grell for the chair so he could break the tank, but Grell fought determinedly and with lots of energy, more energy than Knox had – Grell pushed against the chair so hard that it fell out of Knox's hands and hit the coffee table to bring them both down with an especially loud bang that he was sure the shinigami on the floor below heard. Knox was determined to go further, though, this was actually helping him feel a little better. He pressed his foot against the glass and told Grell, "I may be new here, and I may not be as strong as some others, but I _am_ strong enough to break this glass! I'll break through it like it were paper!"

Grell may have looked at him a little strangely for his odd comment but still tried to pry his foot away from the glass. He asked Knox in a whine why he couldn't wait until lunch, it was only a quarter of an hour away! There was a pause as Knox processed what Grell had just said, and with a smile, he pulled his foot away from the glass and said excitedly, "Well, who cares about raw fish when lunch is so close? You told me that you wanted to ask William if he would eat with you, I imagine you may need some time to get dressed. I'll be on my way to the cafeteria!" Knox made to leave the room, but on his way out he ran into someone, he stumbled back a few steps and began, "Be more ca- Oh, Miss Brownie! I'm sorry about that, I'll be on my way, if you will excuse me." And with that Knox walked past a very angry, flustered Miss Rachael Brown.

* * *

Rachael stood still, almost at a loss for words. She entirely ignored Ronald Knox as he continued on his way to the cafeteria, because she was staring in horror at the lounge – one of the armchairs lay on its side, there was a light footprint on the fish tank, and an obvious crack in the coffee table where the chair had landed. Had Knox done all of this? She then noticed this mess combined with Grell Sutcliff, as he lay on the floor (in his nightgown) as if he had fallen over, now waving at the retreating Knox.

"Bye, Knoxie~!" Grell was actually in cheerful mood today (after being relieved from Knox trying to kill the fish). It was his scheduled day off today, so he was able to sleep in late (which was good because he was up later than usual last night), the shinigami had written in his diary but mostly dazed off throughout the day, it was hard for him to keep his mind off Sebastian. But his attention turned to Rachael, as he noticed her unhappy presence in the room. "Oh! Good afternoon, Brownie." Grell looked around the room, and then back to Rachael - detecting her obvious anger. "Um… Sorry about the mess, I-"

"Grell _Sutcliff!_ Do _not_ call me by that disrespectful title! I have discussed this with you many times before and I have no urge to do so again. You just never listen, do you? And _why_ are you still in your nightclothes? I know it is your day off, but do you not have any _decency_?" Rachael's frustration was over the top now, as her voice became more and more whiney. "How could you _do_ this to the lounge? You're such a horrible shinigami! A disrespectful, immature, lazy, stupid…_evil dispatcher!_ Sometimes I can't believe you belong to William! He could do so much better! Fine, go destroy _every_ lounge! I don't even _care_ anymore!" And with that, Rachael ran out of the room – back the direction she came from.

Grell sighed, Rachael was _such_ a melodramatic person – she was entirely unstable, and let such easily solved problems bother her far more than necessary. She probably didn't even mean half of the things she said. But that was just the way she was, she had been like that for as long as he could remember (perhaps she had been living too long). Grell didn't let it bother him though, that wasn't the first time she went off on him, and it certainly wasn't the first time she complained about him to William (which he was certain she was doing now).

The shinigami picked up his Madame Missy (which he had left on the table) and walked to his room, after shutting the door behind him he sat on his bed, which was followed by an annoying creak from his mattress. The demon had slipped into his mind again (erasing any thoughts of Rachael he might have previously had), he closed his eyes as he remembered the events of last night. He always felt comfortable in his room, it was like his own world, and when he closed his eyes the soft twinkling sounds of chimes and clocks made his thoughts all more enchanting, and the aroma of perfume and candles soothed him. He could almost hear Sebastian's melodic voice whispering in his ear, almost imagine his hands touching him lovingly, he could almost _feel_ the demon's eyes on him – in their natural pink colour that seemed to pierce through his soul. It was almost as if he were there with him, as a ghostly black figure that swarmed and swallowed his existence as long he closed his eyes.

But when he opened them, it was gone. He returned to reality and was alone again, Sebastian had never been there. Last night Grell had indulged in sin, he slept with a demon and had no hesitation. The shinigami didn't regret it, demons weren't creatures of love but Grell had felt more admiration and affection that night than any other time in his long life. He had been corrupted, and he felt different - but it wasn't a bad feeling of filth or fault – it was a feeling of acceptance. Grell had always felt alone in his environment, as if he were an outsider or the only one of his type. There was no on here like himself, no one he could really relate to. He was often rejected in his attempts for affection, and scolded many times for his mistakes. But in that time with Sebastian he felt none of that, it was as if he had been accepted into a whole new world of love – and if a demon of Hell was the only one capable of showing him that, then he didn't care if it was a demon at all.

Grell rose from his bed, guessing he didn't have much time until lunch started and that he should probably get ready. He looked into one of his many mirrors on his wall, seeing his reflection once again. His face didn't look any different than it did yesterday, but something about it seemed much more attractive – he didn't know what it was, perhaps he was simply becoming more confident in his appearance. The shinigami saw a small smile appear in the mirror as a fixed one of his bangs.

It was his day off (so he was allowed to wear whatever he wanted) and he was feeling unusually confident in his body, so Grell decided to dress up today. He wore a long cuff-sleeved white blouse, a black vest, black shorts that rose not too high above his knees, a red scarf and black high-heels. He put on his usual amount of make-up and fixed his hair, afterwards applying some perfume that smelt of lavender. Once he decided he looked his best, the shinigami headed towards the cafeteria for his lunch break.

...

Rachael entered the cafeteria, and as she expected William was there heading towards the table that they usually sat at together. The shinigami had come across an interesting concern about another division's dispatcher having repeated non-work related interaction with a human. She thought it would be something worth discussing with William. Rachael walked over to William before he reached the table to stop him there.

"Good evening, Mr. Spears. Have you heard the rumour that has been going around recently?" When William told her that he had not, she continued. "Well, apparently a dispatcher from the Manchester division named Lawrence has been frequently visiting a human for non-work related purposes. I can't imagine what their ministry must be going thr-"

"Hello, Will!" Grell cooed as he approached the two with a happy smile on his face, completely ignoring Rachael and standing in front of William with his doll in his hand, looking up at him excitedly with almost a twinkle in his eyes. "Would you like to have lunch with me~?" Rachael narrowed her eyes at Grell, noticing his strong smell of lavender perfume (which he perhaps had worn too much of) and inappropriate outfit. Grell looked away from William and towards a small table for two. "I already got us a ta-"

"I'm sorry, Sutcliff. Mister Spears and I have very important things to discuss." Grell jumped at her interruption, as if she hadn't been there and wasn't expecting her to say anything. He watched as Rachael retreated with a slightly hesitant William towards their usual table. Grell frowned and huffed, why did she have to always be so annoying? Grell didn't understand why William liked her so much.

"_Stupid Brownie…_" Grell mumbled to himself, sitting down at the table he picked out for him and William, afterward he set his Madame Missy in the other seat across from him. He sighed a lonely sigh, swinging his feet glumly - he wished Sebastian were here to sit with him if William _always_ had to sit with Rachael. He had worked so hard to look nice today, but now there wasn't anyone around to appreciate it.


	52. Chapter 52

It was almost as if she wasn't there. William was looking away from Rachael at Grell, who was sitting at a table for two with only his doll for company; (appearing disappointed and even upset) it was something you didn't see often – someone looking so good, (perhaps more attractive than William would have liked) without company. William didn't hear her either. It wasn't that William did not enjoy Rachael's company but he was concerned for Grell and was not too interested in gossip.

William focused on Grell's face; it was a beautiful craft, almost as if it were the face of a porcelain doll. His face was long, slender, and complete with clear, soft skin. His mouth was too wide for his face and his lips were pouty, but he was still attractive otherwise. It was because of his unnatural teeth that showed when he smiled when people thought otherwise, although they were the teeth of a demon descendant William was fond enough of Grell to overlook them. His long nose almost touched his upper lip, but if it were not for its length, it could be described as a small nose as it was thin and didn't have too much of a presence. His eyes were his most attractive feature, they were almond-shaped and long with heavy lids and red eyelashes that you could only see when you were close. (His reason for wearing the fake eyelashes that William thought were ridiculous.) When he opened his eyes fully, they were rather large and everything could be seen clearly, especially his vivid irises that were so colourful and unique. The eyebrows above these eyes were long, thin, and had stray hairs pulled as soon as they were noticed by Grell, who would often use them to enhance and more fully express his emotions, (something an actress had to be able to do) which he would occasionally use to bend others to his will. It was strange, perhaps - but ever since William had seen his still form, the colour and life gone from his face, even with sunken cheeks and body from three days without food or water, he had admired his beauty…

It was then that Rachael interrupted his thoughts by raising her voice and demanding if he were listening. He averted his eyes from Grell and looked at Rachael, and told her plainly, "Rachael, I do not mean to insult you, but I am not listening. If it is understandable I would sit with Grell as not to upset him, you and I are both aware of his emotional tendencies and it is possible that he could imagine that because I did not sit with him he has done something to upset me, which is not true. I am certain you understand. Goodbye, Rachael."

William took up his plate and silverware (even his napkin) before parting with Rachael to sit with Grell, who looked up at him curiously when he set down what he was holding and moved his doll onto the table from the chair, but seemed to understand when he sat down and tucked the chair in what William was here for. William looked away from Grell as he felt a little uncomfortable with his current situation and pretended like he didn't see Grell's small smile widening. "I am sorry that I did not come here earlier, Miss Brown had something she wanted to discuss with me, but she can discuss that with me another time. Would you still like to sit with me?" William twirled a strand of the doll's shining, red hair as he waited for his answer. (He was expecting something sudden and physical and prepared himself for whatever that might be.)

* * *

Grell nodded to William's question eagerly, watching as the other twirled some of his Madame Missy's hair. He found it rather strange that William was actually sitting here to eat lunch with him, it wasn't out of necessity as it had been when he was being fed by William; it was because he would rather sit with him than with Rachael. Grell glanced over at the gloomy Rachael who was now eating lunch by herself similar to the way he had before William came, before returning his gaze back to William again. He kept his gaze on his doll - probably as an excuse to avoid looking at him. It wasn't like the William he knew now to be sitting with him, as that man would have too much pride to seat himself with perhaps his most disappointing creation - it was more like the William he knew a long time ago, as that man would have been happy to sit with perhaps his most successful and beloved creation. Grell imagined that William was probably unsure of himself, and maybe even a bit uncomfortable with what he was doing, as he seemed a bit nervous and was avoiding looking at him.

The shinigami took the other's hand away from his doll and held it loosely in his hands, as an attempt to comfort him – he missed William, he missed the William that would look at him, the one that would praise him and miss him. He knew that he was still there somewhere, but William didn't express that part of him very often anymore. Grell had changed a lot too since then; it made him wonder if William missed him at all.

Grell broke away from his thoughts when he heard William's voice - asking him what he was thinking about (he was being unusually quiet). The shinigami looked away from William's hand and back up at its owner – who was watching him curiously. Grell smiled playfully, before stepping on William's foot teasingly.

"I'm thinking about you, baba. I miss you." Grell brought William's hand to his cheek, feeling its warmth. "I miss baba's hand…" William pulled his hand away unexpectedly, appearing a bit embarrassed, or perhaps confused. It could have been a different emotion, but Grell often had trouble guessing what William was feeling. He was frequently rejected, it was something he had gotten used to – so it wasn't so surprising that he would pull away. But even if he was rejected often that didn't make him love William any less; it just made him miss him more.

Decency couldn't make him love one person.

…

Grell walked gracefully down the streets of the London Market District, since today was the shinigami's day off – it was his usual routine to spend part of his free days shopping. Early spring was a fairly cold time of the year in London, so the shinigami had put his jacket on and some thigh-socks to prevent his legs from getting cold. He also put on some black velvet gloves and many pieces of jewellery to appear more stylish for his outing. Grell got a lot of strange looks as he passed through the Market District, due to his strange, feminine appearance as well as strong perfume.

Perhaps he wasn't all there - as his pace was rather slow, his expression looked a bit distant, and he wasn't very aware of his surroundings. The shinigami's vivid imagination led him to wonderful places often, sometimes in moments when he really should be paying attention. Due to his immature nature Grell had many bizarre dreams and wishes that were mostly impossible – such as having babies or being rich enough to buy that beautiful dress he saw in the window a few minutes ago. Grell was so caught in his daydream that he wasn't paying much attention to the people around him, his thought died a miserable death as soon as he accidently bumped into a very tall, solid human.

The shinigami stumbled back, letting out a small gasp of surprise as he dropped his Madame Missy doll and a few of his shopping bags, their contents spilling onto the pavement. He looked up at the man he had bumped into - a neutral, pouty look on his face as he mumbled an uncertain 'sorry'. The other seemed unmoved by this and Grell shifted uncomfortably, blushing faintly out of embarrassment as he gave him a shy smile.

"Pardon my rudeness, sir. If you'll please excuse me..." Grell kneeled down onto the ground to quickly pick up his scattered things, as the other man seemed to be examining the shinigami and the items he was retrieving. Grell wished he would leave, he smelt bad, like rotten apples or old leaves. Once the shinigami secured all of his things, he retreated quickly, the man staying in the same spot as before as he watched the other leave.

'_That was creepy'_, Grell thought as he continued on his way – now much more aware of the people around him so something like that wouldn't happen again. He got over it quickly though, as he walked into a petite perfume shop. Though the shinigami had many perfumes already, he always liked to buy more.

...

Grell had used up the last of his spending money on a cologne that he especially liked, the shinigami didn't usually wear cologne, this one was just a gift for Sebastian – one called 'Rogue' which smelt of citrus, leather and vanilla. Something about it allured Grell, they way it was tangy, bitter and sweet all at once, it was too masculine to use for himself, but smelling this on someone else was most definitely a turn-on. He wondered if Sebastian would actually wear it if he gave it to him though...

The shinigami looked at one of the public clocks, reading it was almost 3:00 PM he decided that he should probably be heading home now. Dinner for dispatchers and dispatch managers was at 5:30 PM, and it would be very misfortunate if he missed it (how would he sleep at night?). Grell decided that he did good shopping today, though about half of the things he bought were gifts for someone else (he liked being praised). As he began walking home, he remembered that he had left his bike at Sebastian's last night! He thought if he hurried he should be able to retrieve it and be home roughly in time for dinner.

Once Grell made it to the forest trail that would (eventually) lead him to the Phantomhive Manor, he thought he saw something stuck in a tree – something white and pink it appeared – it was kind of high in the tree, but climbing was something Grell could do easily, he was _so_ curious, there was no way he could survive the regret afterwards and the suspicion of what treasure it could have possibly been if he didn't get it down.

As the shinigami was distracted with his thoughts on the object in the tree, he felt a strong hand slap over his mouth and another pull off his scarf to bring a knife to his neck. Grell let out a muffled gasp and felt his chest swell with fear, had someone followed him into the forest trail?

"I've finally got you all alone..." The man breathed in his ear. "Now, give me everything you got (even your clothes) without resistance and I might not consider some of the other things I have in mind." Grell felt his fear slowly fading, replacing with exasperation. "You have such pretty hair, though, I bet I could sell it for an even prettier price. I could even sell _you_, I know a few perverts who would be interested in buying _your_ type."

Grell wasn't the least bit frightened by this, a human didn't stand even the slightest chance against a shinigami (especially one of his age), so this was almost amusing for him. The shinigami dropped everything he was carrying in his hands, afterwards chomping down as hard as he could on his assaulter's hand with his teeth. Having demonic teeth, they practically went all the way through his hand – the taste of blood and the sound of screaming contacting his senses. Grell then grabbed the knife from the man's hand with his enhanced strength and speed, before he swung his head back with as much strength as he could muster to hit the other in the face, which resulted in the sound of a reassuring crack – which was probably his nose. The shinigami smiled sadistically, before turning around in a flash to kick the other in the ribs, he was sent flying backwards with great force, before landing on the dirt floor a few feet away from where he used to be.

As Grell approached the misfortunate human, he confirmed it was the same man from before – the one he had bumped into at the Market District, he had the suspicion it was him from his nauseating smell. This human wasn't anything special, just some common thug – Grell bet he stole even the worn clothes he was wearing now. To think he had been following him this whole time! That was really unnerving to think about... The shinigami stood before the man, kneeling down before taking his bleeding hand in his own. Grell had kicked him extremely hard, he probably won't be getting up for a while.

"How misfortunate for you that you let me get your knife..." Grell's expression appeared mostly neutral, but there was a slight hint of pleasure behind it as he turned the human's hand over. "But of course, that's your fault. It is misfortunate for you as well that you decided to try and mug me – I'm stronger than I look, as you learned the hard way. How about you apologise? If you don't-" Grell positioned the knife under the man's middle finger. "I'll have to cut this off... So, what do you say? If you don't say anything, then I see no point in you speaking at all – I might as well cut your tongue off too. And if you try closing your eyes while I do it, I see no point in you seeing either, I might as well gouge them out as well." Grell smiled at the absolute fear he could see in the other's eyes, he hadn't had this kind of fun in a long time – it was quite refreshing to perform, actually. He almost wished he wouldn't apologise, so he could have an excuse to use this knife on him.

The other man nodded desperately, trying to find the will to speak through his fear. "Fine! I'm sorry... I-I'm incredibly sorry. Just _please_ don't hurt me." The shinigami sighed, his sadistic expression changing and resembling boredom. Grell was disappointed now, he was just having fantasies on what he was planning on doing, he could do it anyway, but he supposed that would be cheating. The shinigami let go of his hand, afterwards noticing his sleeve had gotten his blood on it.

"You got blood on my sleeve, you bastard! Do you have any _idea_ how much this blouse costs? More than you're worth!" Grell huffed, glaring down at him.

"I'm sorry...!" The man said in defence, hoping that he would be spared.

"Well, you better be! Now give me something to make up for it!" Surely he had _something_ worth taking on him. The shinigami's eyes skimmed the man for jewellery of some kind, he managed to find a ring resting on the pinkie-finger of his other hand – he must have mugged it off some other misfortunate soul. It most definitely didn't look his style - as it was a golden ring with a ruby in the shape of a heart on it. Grell snatched it off his hand and tried it on, since it fit the other's pinkie it managed to fit on his middle and index fingers, he smirked in satisfaction and stood up. "I should be going now, or I might not make it in time for dinner. Just don't die, okay? Or I might get in trouble."

Grell walked back over to the tree which had the white and pink something caught in it, leaving the other man to himself. The shinigami climbed the tree easily, taking the item with the same ease.

It was a lady's hat – it must of blown off her head as she was taking this trail. It was a white hat with a layer of flower-patterned lace over it. It had many large white and pink fake roses in the front, a mass of white, pink-bordered feathers behind the flowers, and a huge, folded light-grey ribbon gathered in the back. It was a lovely, expensive looking hat, he was so lucky to have found it! He wasn't sure what he'd wear it with though...

The shinigami jumped out of the tree, landing on his feet. He put the hat on as he walked over to his pile of abandoned things, he dusted off his scarf before putting it on, and picked up the rest of his bags (as well as his Madame Missy). Afterwards, he continued down the trail to the Phantomhive Manor.

...

Grell reached the manor in about an hour, singing the whole way there and kicking rocks. He would have gotten there faster but he was carrying a lot of bags, so that had slowed him down a bit. The shinigami saw his bike, still in the same place where he had left it. Grell looked back up at the mansion, it somehow made him happy to know that Sebastian was in there somewhere. He smiled, as he thought of a idea that might surprise the demon.

Grell had left all of the gifts he had bought for Sebastian on the doorstep (he just hoped he would get to it first). He had written his letter already, he had just kept it in his jacket – so he placed that with the other gifts. So altogether, the shinigami left behind the 'Rogue' perfume, a little toy knight, a bouquet of flowers, and his letter. Grell hoped he would appreciate them, he was already excited about Sebastian's reply to his letter!

Now that that was done, he put his shopping bags on the handlebars of his bike, and set his Madame Missy in the basket. Once he was ready to go, he began riding home.


	53. Chapter 53

AN: FWI, Sebastian Michaelis was a real person! If you type Sebastian Michaelis in on Wikipedia you can read about him! - Madame Stephanie

* * *

It had been a day since Sebastian had last seen Grell, if you were the kind of person who identified "day" as the daylight hours and "night" as the dark hours. If he cared to correct himself, as it was almost 7:00 PM now, in a reasonable four hours it would have been almost a full day since that time. Sebastian would occasionally in his free-time (or even sometimes during work,) close his eyes and smile to remember his hands on his skin again – or even better – his fingers or full length inside of his hot, pulsing body that was so flexible and tight. He also remembered the sound of his soft moaning that steadily increased in volume, the breathless whispers and eventual shouting of his human-given name, and the way his thick ring of muscle constricted against him when he found his release that decorated his lithe body in a beautiful mess that was as white as his skin.

He could still remember how salty it had tasted... Although, his memory had never been allowed to continue further than that, because by then the young master needed him or the _servants_ had made more trouble for him. How ironic, as normal servants were there to make the butler's job easier. He had noticed, while cleaning their messes and solving their problems, that he occasionally caught Bard or Mey-Rin staring at him, and once whispering to each other about an unknown topic that he was somehow a part of. He didn't care enough for human gossip to investigate, but it was still annoying, although if he ever expressed his displeasure with an angry expression in their general direction or made any sign of acknowledging them, they would look away and continue their work frantically, or even leave the room. The servants were not enough to distract him from his work though - hunger was a strong motivator - but sex was too, it had been too long since he had had a release, the memories of last night were very distracting.

As Sebastian was loading Ciel's supper dishes onto a tray to take to the kitchens for cleaning, Ciel, who still had not moved from his chair reached underneath the table and set a large gift bag and a letter on the table surface. Sebastian didn't notice that he had until his young master cleared his throat and strummed his filed nails across the fine, wooden table to draw attention to himself and these objects. This caught the demon's attention, and his disguised eyes skimmed quickly over the items, he saw his human-given name in a cursive font written on the outside of a colourful, scented envelope and a bright, expensive gift bag which revealed the top of a wildflower bouquet and something smaller fully hidden inside. Sebastian had no doubt about who they were from; they were gifts from his newest mate, Grell. Sebastian couldn't lie; it was against his principles as a demon, so he would have to be clever to keep Ciel from discovering what had recently developed between Grell and himself.

Sebastian knew that Ciel was waiting for him to say something, and so he began what he knew would be a dangerous conversation with an inquiring, "My Lord?"

Ciel sat up straighter in his chair and looked Sebastian accusingly in the eye, his face was almost blank, but there was a hint of anger in the way he looked at him now. He let a silence hang between them before he asked his question, he was not one to beat around the bush, and started with what he sincerely wanted to know, "Sebastian, who are these from?"

The young lord lifted the letter to his face and scowled at the smell of the perfume and the small, hand-drawn flower border. "I found these at our doorstep. I am aware from... previous incidents that it is in your nature to seduce and bed humans, but I was unaware that you have been exchanging letters with one. I do not remember approving this, Sebastian."

The butler was aware of his young master's scolding tone, but could not muster any guilt for his actions; he didn't understand why Ciel was so upset about a letter. "The letter and gifts are from an admirer of mine that has been pursuing me for a long time. When I was shopping for you almost a month ago, I accidently came across this admirer, and after a week we began to exchange letters. I apologise that I did not come to you first before I replied, my Lord, I was unaware that it would upset you."

"I am not upset!" Ciel exclaimed loudly, his eyes narrowing as he looked into Sebastian's own. Sebastian looked back unflinchingly, and Ciel was the first to look away. He asked seriously while distracting himself with the tablecloth, "Have you... made love to her, Sebastian?"

Sebastian thought quickly and reached a conclusion, Ciel had made this easy for him. "No, my Lord." Grell was not a "her", so this was the truth; he had not made love to any female admirer.

Ciel did not seem convinced, so he tried to ask another question regarding Sebastian's assumed female admirer. "Have you ever let her into the manor, Sebastian?"

Sebastian had to keep himself from smiling when he answered, "No, my Lord. I have never let a woman into this house without your knowledge."

Ciel knew that Sebastian could not lie to him, so that had to be the truth. He nodded, which was a signal that Sebastian could take his letter and gifts, and to leave afterward. With a bow, Sebastian informed Ciel to call on him whenever he needed him, and that he would come to him with or without a call in an hour to prepare him for his bath. Ciel made a small sound that could have been acknowledgement, but Sebastian could not be sure. He smiled victoriously and rose from his bow to collect his things and bring them to his room to see what Grell had written and had given to him. After he had taken Ciel's dirty dishes to the kitchen, of course. As always, he was very curious.

...

Sebastian hadn't known where to put his gifts when he first opened them in the privacy of his bedroom or what he would use them for. The toy knight was amusing but wasn't good for anything but that, and the bouquet of assorted wildflowers (that he imagined Grell had picked himself by the general disorganisation and unevenly cut stems) had a pleasant scent and were pleasing to look at but he had nowhere to put them in his bedroom. It had taken him a few minutes to decide, but he hid the toy in one of his clothing drawers and found an empty vase in the Phantomhive manor to place the wildflowers in. He had heard from a human, he did not remember how long ago, that sugar water kept picked flowers fresh longer and so he was sure to add that to the vase which he had decided to place on top of his drawers.

The cologne wasn't hard to place at all; he put it on the counter in the servant's dreary bathroom. He didn't imagine any of the other servants would touch it, as Bard and Finny didn't wear cologne and he doubted Mey-Rin would wear men's perfume. He had never worn cologne as "Sebastian" before (he had, of course, in other disguises) but he decided he would now, because if Grell had given this to him, he must have wanted him to wear it. He was surprised when he realised that he actually liked the way it smelt. He could detect citrus and vanilla, and also leather which made it smell more masculine, he didn't wear very much because he had a very sensitive nose as a demon and if it were too strong the servants or Ciel may have asked about it. He didn't want to explain to the servants or reopen the conversation with Ciel.

The letter was different; it meant more to Sebastian than toys, flowers, or cosmetics. It was made of earthly materials like paper and ink but it was what they produced together that was important, Grell's words in a physical form. Unfortunately a letter did not last very long, in the short space of a human life span it would be yellow and fragile and at any age it was susceptible to water. This would have to do though, until he was able to preserve not only this letter but all of the others that he and Grell had been exchanging for the past three weeks. Sebastian had never had anything of his own that possessed sentimental value to him, because these were his first letters they were also the first items he owned that he cared to keep. It was, for him, a bizarre attachment - but not particularly unpleasant.

The next two days passed uneventfully, there was of course incident, but nothing memorable. He attempted to remember the incidents of that time and faintly recalled writing and delivering the invitations for a spring ballroom party the young master was hosting this weekend, preparing and cleaning the ballroom for use, and – how could he forget? – on his way back from shopping for the same party, stopping by the jewellery store and submitting a request for two rings, which he was on his way to pick up now. Sebastian paused outside the store to straighten his woollen coat and adjust his tie before entering, he was sure that this was the same shop because of the sign outside that he had seen the day he had submitted his request. Once he was inside he rang the bell on the counter and waited patiently for the shopkeeper, in the meantime removing a stray, white hair from his coat that he was certain was Pluto's.

He was distracted from watching the counter because he was looking over his coat for more hair but looked up when he heard the footfalls of a particularly heavy human, not that many humans had light footsteps, but this one more so than others. He was the shopkeeper, Sebastian remembered him from the last time he had been here. He was the kind of person who wasn't easy to forget. As an understatement, he was a big man, his body was large and round like a wrecking ball and his head looked as if it were too small even with his large, thick beard and moustache. He was not only big, but he was rich, you could tell from the golden buttons straining against his waistcoat, the unnatural shine of his bald head that must have been wax, (he had less hair on his head than he did on his face) and even by the shop that he owned – a jewellery store.

Sebastian kept a straight face and walked up to the counter, where this burly human was watching him curiously, as though trying to remember who he was. Sebastian was taking his coin-purse from the inside of his coat when the man asked him, "Excuse me, sir, are you here to submit a request?" Sebastian did not answer immediately; he took his time undoing the drawstring of his purse before he answered, "No, I am not. I was told that my order would be ready today and I have come to pay and collect. My order should be under the name 'Michaelis'." Sebastian waited once again, but this time it was the other man who was slow to reply, he seemed to be trying to remember all of the requests he had received that week and was counting on his stubby fingers. Eventually, the man made a loud sound of remembrance, and pointed rudely at Sebastian who was tempted to bite the fat digit off.

"Oh! I remember you now, Mister Michaelis, you are the Phantomhive butler! You came here two days ago to submit a request for two engraved, golden rings." The man turned around and unlocked a small storage compartment from which he removed two black leather ring boxes. He opened both of them and read Sebastian the size, custom engraving, and price before he asked if it was his order. When Sebastian confirmed it was and was counting the human money to pay the man, as this man was the kind of human who always had something to say, asked Sebastian "So your name is Sebastian? I can't say that I've met too many of those, it isn't a very common name, what are you – you could be German? Or maybe you're from farther east? I can't tell, I've never been very good at guessing. Oh, but your name isn't anywhere near as strange as your woman's!" He took the larger plain, golden ring out of the box and squinted to see the name engraved on the inside. "G-R-E-L-L. How do you pronounce that? Grill? Grall? Grull?"

"It is pronounced the way it is spelt - Grell." Sebastian placed what he owed on the counter to distract the man from his ring. He may as well have paid the man his entire savings, not that he cared, he had nothing else he wanted to buy. The man carefully placed the ring back in its box and counted the money greedily, knowing that a butler did not have a large income, afterward storing all of it even more carefully in his cash register. As he was doing this, Sebastian removed the larger ring engraved with Grell's name and slid it on to his index finger. It was a plain, gold ring on the outside and no one would ask about it. When Sebastian took the other ring box to leave the man held him back to ask him one more question. "I have been in this business a long time and you aren't the first one who has done this. A man will come in and ask for two identical rings, with separate sizes and engravings, with intentions of wearing one ring with his woman's name and giving the other ring with his own to his woman. The rings you bought were simple, gold rings with no patterns or precious stones, why is that?"

Sebastian gave the man a suspicious look before he answered cautiously, "I could never afford that kind of ring on a butler's pay and for reasons I won't discuss, simplicity has its advantages. Goodbye, sir."

...

Sebastian could not help but notice on his way home to the Phantomhive manor that the streetlamps and buildings of London town were steadily becoming more and more concealed by a thick fog that shined silver in the light of the moon it hid. It was only 6:00 PM but the sun had set early, as it always did in spring. The humidity weighed against his shoulders and chest and caught in his throat as his sensitive eyes tried their hardest to make out the way to the manor through the fog. As a demon, he made it home safely, and in enough time to prepare dinner for Ciel. Once the young master was fed, bathed, and put to bed it was 9:00 PM and Sebastian left for his bedroom where he fed the cats he secretly kept in his wardrobe and changed their litter, before he laid down to relax on his bed.

It wasn't very entertaining, as the Phantomhive butler, there wasn't a lot he could do to entertain himself. He held his hand up so that his golden ring sparkled in the dim candlelight, and because of that sparkle, was reminded of Grell. His name was, after all, engraved on the inside of this ring. He was curious how his princess would react when he presented him with his gift, like almost anyone, he wanted Grell to like it. He imagined he would as he was easily excited, not only _emotionally_ excited either - he remembered how quickly he had been _physically_ excited. He smiled, allowing his thoughts to wander where they may, even into an occasional topic or memory that was in no way related to Grell but was concerned with the art of physical love – the only kind of love he knew.

He was remembering the unusual smell that was produced (strangely enough) every time, but before he could question why, his hyperactive senses detected Grell's aura - was he on Phantomhive ground? Sebastian sat up quickly and thought back to his previous encounter with Grell. He remembered that he had given him a key to the back gate, so if he was here, that was probably where he was headed. Sebastian acted quickly, once he was standing he looked himself over in the mirror, adjusting his clothes and restyling his hair, before he walked quickly up the stairs and through the backdoor (which he had to unlock first, of course) where surely enough he saw and heard the gate swing open.

The fog wasn't as thick as it had been earlier, but Grell was still too far away to make out clearly, he saw through the haze a dainty figure in what he knew was a nightgown that fluttered when he walked and with long hair that softly swayed and must have been damp from a shower and wet with beads of fog. The figure paused and Sebastian saw its head turn in both directions before softly calling out his name, he must not have been able to see him from that distance, and so he went to him as he requested. As Sebastian approached the figure became clearer and clearer until he recognised it as his Princess Grell, who smiled in delight when he saw Sebastian, but was silenced before he could speak by his knight who put a finger to his lips.

"Before you speak, I have a gift for you." Sebastian explained, watching as Grell's smiled widened and his eyes brightened in excitement and curiosity. From the inside of his coat Sebastian removed a black leather ring box and informed Grell before he opened it, "Do not assume anything, I am a demon, and have no intentions of marrying you or anyone else." When he did open the ring box, he allowed Grell to remove the ring from the box and examine it thoroughly; he decided that he would explain his reason for this. Sebastian held out his own hand to Grell so that he could see the identical ring on his finger. "I have a ring identical to the one I bought for you, the only difference between the two rings is the size and the engraving, the engraving on my ring is your name and the engraving on the ring I have given you is mine. The last time we met I made you my mate - once again, do not assume anything - I have had many mates before you and you will not be my last, but because we are so close to each other, I would like to see you again if you are willing."

Sebastian looked into Grell's eyes, which were shining with fog and dew that flowed like tears down his face, and after he had handed Grell the ring box wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him to him. "I know that you are aware that this must be kept secret, my master and yours would be very upset if they knew, but these rings could be our symbol hidden in the most obvious place. I requested them to be plain so that no would ask about them, but because they are pure gold they are still beautiful rings. I sincerely hope that you like my gift, I very much like yours, but I will have to ask you not to leave gifts on the doorstep again – the young master found them before I did – if I were not so clever he would have found us out." Sebastian pulled Grell closer to him, allowing him to rest his head against his shoulder where Sebastian was curious if he could smell the cologne he was wearing for him.

He allowed Grell to stay there for a short time, before he took his chin in his hand and tilted his head up to look at him, his divine beauty hazy and indistinct through the fog. "If you like my gift, will you tell me, princess? If not, if indulging in sin with a demon is too deceitful and dangerous, I will give you a chance to leave now while the gate is open. I will ask you to stay or leave, but if you stay, it is your decision what we do together."

...

Sebastian had his eyes closed and was counting down from sixty silently. In the dark his hearing was more sensitive and he heard an occasional pounding or scraping on the floor or wall. _9, 8, 7…_ He heard a soft laugh at the end of a nearby hallway that echoed and filled the room. _…6, 5, 4…_ a tapping sound from above him like the patter of cushioned feet. _…3, 2, 1…_ the sound of swaying cloth on the other side of the main floor where he was counting - maybe he was listening too hard - surely he couldn't be in all of those places? _…here I come…_

In all of his forms, Sebastian had never played this game before; but he had seen children, adolescents, and occasional young adults do so many times. It was a popular party game or a common way to pass time for the previous list of people; adults over those ages often were not interested as they were more physically weary. Sebastian imagined that this would be a difficult game as Grell had almost the entire mansion to hide in, the only places Sebastian had told him he was not allowed to hide in were the back or front yard, (it would be impossible to find Grell in this weather) the basement or attic, (it was dangerous) any floor above the second floor, (it would take too long) and Ciel's room (for obvious reasons).

As this was a manor, even with all of those limitations, it was a large playing space. Sebastian searched quickly and silently – behind curtains, under tables, in cupboards – he knew that Grell couldn't be hiding in a complicated place because he had only been given sixty seconds to hide, even with Sebastian counting slowly. When he couldn't find him on the first floor he ascended the stairs to the considerably larger second floor. Once he was at the top of the stairs he turned to move down the hallway and immediately saw a figure in a white nightgown with red hair turn the corner, even without a good look he knew that it was Grell, Sebastian figured he must not have found a hiding spot yet and went after him. He smiled in pursuit, moving even more quickly than before, until he was directly behind the unknowing Grell. Sebastian grabbed his shoulder to hold him back with his cold hand and whispered in his ear, "Boo."

Grell did _not_ have the reaction Sebastian was suspecting, he let out a loud scream and threw his arms up in the air, before struggling to break away from Sebastian. After Sebastian overcame his initial shock, now that Grell was in front of him, Sebastian realised that it wasn't Grell at all! It was Mey-Rin! What was she doing awake so late at night? Sebastian let go of her shoulder immediately and took a step back, where Mey-Rin, who had fought so determinedly before was unable to move due to fear. When her scream ended because she ran out of breath, she took another deep breath to scream again, but Sebastian moved forward quickly and grabbed her to turn her around to face him. "Mey-Rin, stop that this instant! Do you want to wake the young master? It is only me; you need not be so frightened!" Although he spoke angrily he did so quietly.

Mey-Rin only stared in disbelief with a trembling lip, and when she didn't respond, Sebastian let go of her and turned around to look for Grell in the other direction. He hadn't cared enough to ask where Mey-Rin was going and was only concerned with finding Grell, who hopefully hadn't heard Mey-Rin's scream.

Sebastian saw Grell further down, the real Grell, he was certain that it wasn't Mey-Rin and no one else in this manor wore a white nightdress. Grell was hiding behind a large potted plant, and although all of him but the bottom hem of his white nightgown was hidden it still wasn't a good hiding spot, because even if Sebastian did pass him, when he came back the other way he would see him clearly. Sebastian had an idea, since it would be boring to go around the plant and tell Grell that he had found him, he instead pretended like he didn't see him and walked past the plant and Grell. He walked to the end of the hallway and once he was there he turned around and moved as silently as he could in the other direction. Grell must have thought that he was searching the rooms behind him and was smiling in victory when Sebastian grabbed him from behind (and as he had learned from previous experience) with a hand over his mouth to keep him from screaming.

He dragged him silently further down the hallway until they were in a place hidden by shadow, where the candles were very dimly lit and that was far from a window. He turned him around roughly and pushed him against a wall, when he removed his hand he pulled him into a thorny kiss in which he forcibly inserted his tongue. It was a short kiss but he let out a low groan of pleasure before he broke away, he smiled widely at Grell's silence allowing Grell to think whatever he may for a short time, before he reached in to kiss him more romantically on the cheek. "You should be more careful, do you know how many people would want to steal you? You are strong, certainly, but there are things more powerful than you and not all of them have good intentions as I do."

* * *

Mey-Rin stared after Sebastian as he walked away in the opposite direction he came, what was that all about? Why did he scare her like that, and then just leave? It didn't make much sense to her, his purpose in doing that wasn't very clear - seeing that he appeared rather surprised and irritated with her reaction, but what was he expecting her to do? People don't normally grab other people's shoulders and whisper _boo_ in their ear unless they have frightening intentions; she had every right to scream for her life! The maid didn't understand Sebastian at all… He was so strange, just where on earth was he going now? Why had he even come this way? She had simply been wandering around the manor as she liked to do at night when she couldn't sleep, and she hadn't been expecting to find Sebastian, though maybe she should have – because she never caught him sleeping before, as bizarre as that was.

The maid followed behind Sebastian secretly – as she was extremely curious, as well as bored. She was a good distance behind him, so he probably wouldn't notice her presence. Sebastian continued to walk down the hallway, until he reached the end, when he unexpectedly turned around. Mey-Rin pressed her back up against a wall beside a decorative statue to hide herself from his view, before slowly peeking out from behind the statue in time to witness Sebastian dragging a startled Grell out from behind a potted plant.

Mey-Rin wondered what _he_ was doing here, she liked Grell, but she wished that he wasn't here – with Sebastian. Had Sebastian mistaken her for Grell? That must have been it, and it explained the reason for his reaction. The butler thought she was just some jumpy idiot, who was constantly making more work for him - perhaps she was, but that wasn't all she was either! She was pretty good at…_shooting_. That was the only reason she was even here, because she was good at _killing_ – that was all she was good at, that had been her whole life up until now, and it still was in a way. It was depressing, how unfair the world could be. She watched glumly as Sebastian forced Grell against a wall not too far away from where she was, and kissed him in a way the maid had never even seen before. She had only seen short, romantic kisses between lovers in public, never had she seen such admirable passion before – it was something she had only read in books, or imagined.

She listened as carefully as she could to make out what they were saying afterward, she heard what Sebastian said well enough, and watched as Grell gave him a small, unsure smile. Mey-Rin knew what was going through his mind, he made it so obvious – it was probably something along the lines of, _that's sweet, but it's not true_. He didn't believe him, only because he probably wasn't convinced that a lot of people would _want_ him for such reasons, she could relate to that – and perhaps that's why she could detect his low self-esteem so easily.

Sebastian seemed to notice this as well, of course he did - he was so observant, so intelligent… She listened again; the butler asked him a question, something like, _do you not believe me?_ Grell shifted, as if it were an uncomfortable subject, before she managed to roughly make out him saying that a lot of people wouldn't be interested in him, but Sebastian was quick to reply – it was hard to understand, but she was sure she heard him mention gouging out people's eyes, because they wouldn't need them if they couldn't see his beauty. Grell giggled at this, but Sebastian went on further to compliment him – his hands playfully following his words as he pointed out everything attractive about Grell – using them as reasons that people would want to steal him. Mey-Rin looked away; this wasn't any of her business, why did she even watch other people like this? Perhaps it was because she had little experience with a lot of things outside of her normal life – such as love… Most nosy people were probably just curious and lonely, like herself. She was envious of Grell, how wonderful it must be to have someone to encourage him and compliment him like that, especially someone like Sebastian – he was lucky.

Mey-Rin managed to escape back downstairs without them noticing her, they were too busy with their games – and even if they had noticed her they probably wouldn't have cared. It must be nice to be carefree, to be so occupied with someone else's company that they were all you could care about in those moments, these were things she could only daydream about. She walked gloomily back into the dreary servant's quarters, where she saw Finny sleeping peacefully in his bed and Bard leaning against his headboard reading a book – until he acknowledged her presence, looking up from his book and towards the maid. She removed her glasses and placed them on a nearby table, revealing her lovely eyes which looked as if they were holding back tears, before seating herself on her bed.

"What's wrong, Mey-Rin? You look really down." Bard asked, the missy had been rather unenthusiastic recently; he was curious what could be bothering her so much – this book was kind of boring him anyway.

"Oh Bard, you wouldn't understand…" Mey-Rin repositioned herself so that she was lying down, before pulling her thin blanket over herself. She would probably feel better if just got some sleep.

...

It was about 3:00 AM and Caleb couldn't sleep… It was like a feather in his skull, tickling his brain. It caused his thoughts to wander, breaking through the caution tape and into his 'off-limits' thoughts – mostly concerning his ridiculous desires, but Grell in particular. That shinigami was a nuisance, he made his life much harder than it had to be. His nights especially, when he was left to himself and his thoughts, with no one around to distract him from them. Thoughts like these wouldn't be too much of a problem if they weren't influenced, he could avoid them with much less difficulty – making his whole _life_ less stressful. It already wasn't easy to pretend to be straight when you're not, but to have this stimulating little creature bouncing around – tempting and teasing him, made it _so_ hard…

Yes, Grell had to be a creature. Caleb decided that he was too enthralling to be a shinigami, he was the _ideal_ image of male beauty - Grell must be a succubus, or a goddess of some kind. It would explain his ability to demand his attention whenever he was around (sometimes even when he wasn't), without any effort, only to become even more alluring with his movement - the soft, clear sound of his feet tapping the ground. Or even the sound of his voice, his melodic, unique purr that expressed his thoughts and emotions. Sometimes just inhaling that intoxicating aroma of his was enough to catch his attention, his natural, gentle scent was always there – often combined with an expensive perfume, fusing it into something obvious and pleasant. It was shameful, but Caleb could admit that he was absolutely infatuated, or even _obsessed_ with this creature – whatever it was.

There was no way he was going to get to sleep with this feather in his skull (he was convinced it was red), and the fact that he was off-schedule. He had been working the nightshift for the past few days for a specific information-gathering job, and now that it was completed he had returned back to the dayshift for another job. Being as high as he was in dispatcher rank required him to work harder, and accepting jobs no matter the schedule was his expectancy. It was tough, but at least it paid well.

Caleb left his room, he had too much energy to be lying still on his mattress - it made his brain busy – which was never a good thing, because his stray thoughts almost _always_ eventually led to Grell somehow. He continued through the doors which led into the shinigami gardens, the fog from earlier that evening had faded entirely and had only left behind heavy humidity in the air, he then advanced to his favourite spot in the gardens. It wasn't much different from the rest of the gardens, but it was close to a large, colourful flowerbed with many breeds of flowers. He wasn't sure why it was his favourite spot, perhaps it wasn't, and it was just an area he had become familiar with. But as he thought about it, he realised that whenever he remembered seeing Grell in the garden, it was in this area where he always was – playing with the flowers and the creatures residing. Caleb realised that it was not his, but _Grell's_ favourite spot in the gardens. He frowned, the creature almost seemed to haunt him in a way, he came to the gardens to find some comfort, not even noticing while he led himself straight to the place that reminded him of it.

As Caleb mused about the creature, he caught a glimpse of something white against the green of the grass in front of the flowerbed. He looked down to notice that it was Grell – in his nightgown - lying on his side with his hair spilling around him, some in his face which was hiding his expression from view, and allover damp from the humidity.

"_Speak of the devil…_" Caleb breathed, kneeling in front of the still figure to brush its hair out of the way, revealing a pretty, pale face with its eyelids shut lightly, while its pouty lips were slightly parted in a way that made him want to shove something in its mouth – like his finger, or his tongue. The idiot, he must have been sleepwalking – _again_. What if he hurt himself? He could get himself killed if he slept-walked to the wrong place… He wasn't sure why he cared though, his life would be easier if he wasn't around. Caleb had always been one to have conflicting thoughts, he wasn't sure of a lot of things about himself, or anything. Maybe he was a bit lost in life, or maybe he was just a hypocrite – once again, he wasn't sure…

Caleb wasn't sure either if he should touch Grell, though he was tempted to. He reached out a hand as if to stroke his face, but merely let it hover over his smooth, faintly pink cheek. It accidently brushed over his soft skin for a moment, forcing him to feel the warmth radiating from the creature. He let his hand travel past his temple and slowly through the length of his hair, which was silky in texture and ran through his fingers like water. As he inhaled the creatures gentle scent, he thought of how Grell might react to what he was doing if he were awake right now. He would probably ask what he was doing in a huffy voice, addressing him as "Cookie" again. It was amusing how he called him that, though it was only because his last name was Cook – which was a stupid last name… He never liked it much. He thought that if he were to marry Grell, then his name would become "Grell Cook" – which made him think of some idiot cooking something on a grill, which was _stupid_, he liked "Grell Sutcliff" much better.

The shinigami smiled uncertainly, why was he thinking about marrying Grell anyway? That was probably his stupidest thought yet, like that would ever happen (Grell hated him). He wasn't sure he wanted to even if he _could_, it would probably forfeit the rest of his social life forever. Though the thought of Grell in a wedding dress was rather entertaining… A soft breeze blew over the two as Caleb pondered on the strange (and impossible) subject, it made Grell's hair dance and brought air into his nightgown - causing it to flutter about but not actually reveal anything but a glimpse of his feminine legs for a very short moment. This brought Caleb's attention back to Grell, as he felt a lock the creature's hair tickling him, the shinigami's eyes skimmed over Grell – he was practically in a dress now.

Caleb went to the other end of Grell, gently taking off his slipper and holding his small, dainty foot in his hands. Caleb had never actually seen Grell's feet before, and he was curious, because feet usually bothered him for some reason… He smirked, deciding that this foot was cute – it was warm and soft, and it smelt nice – like some sort of cosmetic powder. He examined the creature's foot further, relieved that his toenails were clean (unlike that frightening human he reaped recently) before lightly squeezing the creature's foot, which was actually more satisfying than he thought it would be. He put his slipper back on his foot now that his curiosity was fulfilled, deciding that he should probably take Grell back to his room before he woke up – he really didn't want to deal with Grell asking him annoying questions like – "I'm going to tell _baba_!" That wasn't exactly a question, but it was still annoying. Caleb went to the other side of Grell (where his head was) and pulled his small body toward him so that he was leaning on him - his hair spilling over his sides, but left him there instead of picking him up (like he had planned).

The creature's head was buried into his neck - he could feel his warm breath tickling his skin and his body slowly rising and falling against him as he breathed. He held him there, rarely _ever_ was he able to have Grell this close to him. The wind slightly blew up his nightgown again but Caleb was on the wrong side of Grell to see anything, he fantasised himself reaching into his nightgown, but quickly burned that thought (and temptation) before it could spawn into action. He carefully lifted Grell into his arms - with some difficulty – trying his best not to wake up him, before taking the creature back to its bedroom, which was where it _should_ be sleeping. Once he was secure, Caleb returned to his own bedroom – feeling unsure of himself. He thought over everything he did since he left his room, realising he had done _nothing_ to try and diminish the stupid red feather in his skull, he only made it worse…


	54. Chapter 54

The walls of the bathtub were smooth and white and tall enough to keep the large quantity of water, which was hot but not quite scalding, inside. Small wisps of steam rose and circled in on themselves and an occasional bubble would float from the mass to join in on the festivity, its body swirling with colours and shining in the rose-scented light of the low candles that circled the tub. As he was steadily slipping lower into the soapy water, William used his feet to push himself higher, his foot rubbing against the lavender bath beads at the bottom of the bathtub.

William had insomnia, which was a condition that made it difficult to sleep at night, depending of course on the severity of the condition. It had been a very long time since William had slept properly, even on nights when he was exhausted enough to fall asleep quickly he was such a light sleeper that so much as a stray tree-limb against his bedroom window was enough to wake him. It made his nights harder than they had to be and made his mornings more stressful too, this condition was most of the reason for the irritable behaviour he was so well-known for in the office.

A record player was on his bathroom counter and was currently playing William's favourite recordings of Chopin's music. It was, to say the least, a peaceful environment. On nights like tonight when William was having more difficulty sleeping than usual he would often prepare a bath and put on some music to help him relax. Because William had surpassed his duties as a dispatcher and had been promoted to a higher level he had been given a new room on the second floor that was complete with a bathroom. It was a relief when he was first presented with this room that he would never again have to share a toilet with every other male dispatcher in the Ministry and could now take bathes instead of showers when he wanted to, like now.

It was a very nice bathroom with white walls, a walnut wood border, and clean, white tiles. It was like every other room, lit by candles, which sat on counters made of the same dark wood as the border with porcelain sinks, toilet, bathtub, and shower complete with golden handles and fastenings. This bathroom was of course personalised by William, who had filled the empty pantry with his medicines and toiletries and had decorated the rest with more personal items. Because this bathroom was on the second floor it had a window that was the same length of and directly above the bathtub. William particularly liked this window because it overlooked a patch of the large garden when the curtains were open, which they always were.

William looked out of this window now and quickly noticed that he couldn't see outside because his window was hazy from the steam of his bath, he wiped this away and saw in the garden, Grell lying in a flowerbed? William wasn't as surprised as he might have been if this had been the first time, but it wasn't, he had caught Grell sleeping there before. William was very aware of his dispatcher's somnambulism and would occasionally catch him and take him to his room, it was stressful because William would often worry about him sleepwalking somewhere dangerous and hurting himself, but it was also fascinating in a frightening way to see Grell enter his office calmly and quietly with opaque eyes and a blank expression as though he were of another world, before the life was stripped from his body as though it were the order of a higher power and he became limp in his arms…

It was not a good night for Grell to be sleeping in the garden, it was cold and wet outside from the fog of earlier that evening, and he was certain that all of the foul things that lived in the soil had come up to the surface for air. He had decided that he was going to have to drain his bath water, dress himself, and go outside to take Grell inside to his bed (a decision that he was not happy with) when he saw someone else approach Grell's sleeping figure. This, of course, provoked William's paternal instinct and he leaned in closer to the window to see the figure more clearly (as they did not have obvious traits like Grell's scarlet, thigh-length hair to define them) and identified them as Caleb Cook.

William hated Caleb Cook; he had decided this a long time ago, after so many physical and verbal assaults on his dispatcher, Grell. He had also asked Rachael so many times as a favour between friends to keep that dispatcher, her dispatcher, on a leash and away from Grell but he never listened even after so many lectures and punishments. William couldn't understand why and it made him so angry! He had even on the rare occasion when he caught him with Grell, threaten him as an attempt to keep him away and even though he kept silent and took his punishment like the dog he was with his tail between his legs and his head lowered, it was never enough!

William decided that he would watch before he acted (as a shinigami he could move faster than what the human eye can process), and so from his window he saw Cook touch Grell's cheek (he couldn't tell from his distance that it was only almost-touching) and run a hand through his tresses previously tangled from sleep. He didn't appear to be harming him but William was watching even more carefully because of that. He then saw something ultimately strange, Cook had taken off Grell's slipper and was feeling Grell's foot? William couldn't fathom why he was doing that, or why he was doing any of what he was doing now, it was against everything that Cook had displayed for Grell or was just plain strange.

He was curious what he was thinking now. He finally saw Cook pull Grell to him and hold him shortly before lifting him into his arms and taking him inside. William assumed that he was taking him back to his bedroom, not unlike William would have done if he had been in that situation. The dispatch manager finally pulled away from the window and sank back into his bathwater to mull over what he had just seen. What Cook had performed were acts of affection, which heavily contradicted with how he usually acted, and William didn't understand his reasoning. He spent a few minutes pondering the subject but gave up when this produced no results; he instead drained and cleaned his bathtub and changed back into his nightclothes, and left his room to check on Grell just to be sure that Cook hadn't done anything terrible to him. After he saw that Grell was sleeping soundly (if a little wet) he went back upstairs to his own bedroom to get some sleep, the bath had not only relaxed him but also made him sleepy, which was a very good thing.

...

William did sleep soundly that night, but it was already so late when he did get to sleep that he was even more tired in the morning than he would have been otherwise. He knew that today was going to be a difficult day, the kind of day where keeping his eyes open was a conscious effort and he drank a week's ration of coffee in a day, it was on days like these that he was more irritable than ever. He washed his face, dressed for that morning, and stood in line for coffee in the cafeteria with Rachael whose voice was pressuring his unwilling ears. It was not only her voice that was annoying him, so were the people in front of him, even his usual coffee container and its knitted "BABA" holder that he held in his hand.

Rachael followed William into his office and without asking why, William sat down in his office chair and took the documents that were waiting for him in his in-tray and began to read them. He wasn't allowed to read past the first sentence though, because by then Rachael began to explain the reason why she was here, which was to discuss the new method for dispatch managers concerning praise and punishment for their dispatchers suggested by the Council. William sighed audibly, the Council was a group of elder shinigami that made all of the decisions for the Ministry, their bodies were as young as any other but their minds were that of old men and women so what did they know about handling young dispatchers? As he was listening to Rachael explain the method and he was looking over his own copy of the suggested method, William tried to imagine using this method on Knox or Grell, the idea was laughable.

And just as Grell entered his mind, Grell entered his office, William looked up from his copy of the method and Rachael stopped speaking and all attention was focused on Grell who stepped forward and suggested in a loud voice that he and William should go to France! William felt a familiar ache that he was certain was an oncoming headache but he did nothing to stop Grell as he approached and sat down in a chair beside Rachael to hand William a brochure. William opened the brochure and it was, as he had expected, a brochure advertising a tour of France. William scoffed, but Grell didn't hear him as he was too busy explaining to William why he wanted to go to France and why William should want to go.

William looked up at Grell again, he saw his pouty lips moving as though he were speaking and heard a noise that resembled his voice, but William couldn't make out the words through the aching of his head that came and went with the beat of his heart. He tried to formulate words and slowly they came to him but he couldn't find room to say them in Grell's verbal assault. When his dispatcher paused for breath William interrupted before he lost his chance, "Grell Sutcliff, do not speak so quickly or so loudly, it is just for that reason I have a headache now." Grell looked at William expectantly and William looked back expressionlessly, the emotion he had felt for the same person last night had since dissipated due to his bad morning and mood.

"If I ever wanted to go on a vacation all I would have to do is take a week off and pack my bags and I would be gone. If you ever wanted to go on a vacation than you wouldn't be able to because you don't work long or hard enough to have the ability to take those days off. If I ever needed a vacation it would probably be because I have been working beyond my limits. If you ever needed a vacation I wouldn't know why because every day is a vacation for you." William opened his desk drawer and put the brochure inside, closing it afterward; he didn't look at Grell but busied himself with his documents. "Maybe another time, Sutcliff, I don't have the energy today." There was a pause and then the sound of someone standing up from a chair and leaving through the office door.

William frowned, staring at the document in front of him but not reading what it said, he didn't feel any better. It was of course not the first time that he had treated Grell that way but he never felt any better afterward, his headache was still present and so was his general bad mood, but if anything had changed, William felt worse.

* * *

Rachael wasn't sure whether she should say anything or not, after observing William's scene with Sutcliff she came to a conclusion that he was experiencing some sort of mental or physical pain do to an incident she was unaware of, or a lack of something necessary – like sleep - as she had witnessed him consuming a rather large quantity of coffee servings, and was aware of his strong case of insomnia. It wasn't uncommon that he would act this way sometimes, so she wasn't surprised, if anything she sympathised for the shinigami. Rachael believed that William worked too hard sometimes, it probably would have been better for him if he had taken the day off today to rest. But since he wasn't exactly in the state of mind where he would listen to suggestions right now – she assumed it would be best for him for her to take her leave.

"I apologise if you're not feeling well, Mr. Spears, I suppose we could discuss this at a more appropriate time… Don't worry too much about it; our reviews aren't due until the end of the week." Rachael gave him a small smile and gathered her document, before standing up from her seat and approaching the door. "I'll see you in the cafeteria, goodbye, William." She shut the door softly behind her, leaving William alone in his office – she only hoped it was for the best.

The first thing Rachael noticed when she left William's office was Grell; he was leaning against the wall close to William's door, his left arm at his side holding his doll while his right arm held onto his left. Grell seemed to notice her as well, and looked up in her direction with a rather curious and _hopeful_ expression on his face, which changed to disappointment quickly with realisation before turning away. Rachael frowned at this, she couldn't help but felt sorry for him – William had been rather harsh.

"Do you really think William is going to come after you?" Rachael said softly, she guessed that was why he was standing outside his office, and she couldn't come up with anything else reasonable. Grell shifted uncomfortably, being slow to answer.

"No." He spoke in a soft, straight voice.

"Then… Why do you wait for him…?" Rachael was trying to understand, Grell could be so childlike – he didn't expect William to come, yet he waited for him and hoped that he would, it was like he just didn't understand… Grell remained silent; perhaps _he_ didn't even know. Rachael assumed that she probably wasn't going to get an answer from him, so she decided to change the subject. "I'm surprised you didn't know better, I thought you'd be able to recognise when he's in a bad mood."

"He's always in a bad mood when I'm around, and if not then he's usually uncomfortable." Grell didn't look at Rachael as he spoke; it was almost as if he were speaking to himself. "I wish he could appreciate me, but I get the impression he just thinks I'm useless."

Rachael wondered if William knew about this impression Grell had of him, it was obvious that William was not satisfied with Grell's work – or he wouldn't have said what he did in the office. But even if Grell was not useful in that field to William, Rachael believed that Grell was very useful – or even necessary – for William's happiness. Grell made William think; to such a point where he had to come to her for reassurance. Rachael could even go as far as to say that if it weren't for Grell, William wouldn't be the person that she came to love to this day. She wasn't sure if she had the right to tell that to Grell, though.

"Perhaps you should think about that, Grell. You can't always rely on assumptions and impressions. Until next time, then." With that Rachael went on toward her office, leaving Grell alone as he had been.

Grell didn't think he was useless. Maybe he wasn't as devoted to his work as other shinigami were, he took more breaks than he should, and was easily distracted. But when he actually worked he was probably one of the best dispatchers here, he didn't like working but he was extremely good at it – and that was probably one of the only reasons William even tolerated him. In the beginning of his career he was an impressive dispatcher, he made William very proud – which influenced him to work harder. But over the years as he received less praise, he decreased in motivation, which caused him to feel less inspired. Now William thought he was useless – and Grell wondered often why William even bothered to defend him from being executed or transferred during his Jack the Ripper case – because surely it wasn't for his labour.

But then Grell remembered the words that William had said to him during his apology, when he had returned from the Phantomhive Manor the first time. It made him smile – slightly. His smile grew just a little more as he turned the ring Sebastian had given him last night on his finger. It turned slowly, as it rubbed against his velvet glove, and it gleamed with the sunshine that shined through the windows.

_Sebastian_ – his lover, his knight. Even if the demon claimed their love was not worthy of marriage, this ring was more than enough to prove to him that Sebastian wanted their newly spawned relationship to last. Grell tried not to think about for how long, he often didn't think about the future or the consequences of things – he was the type of person who lived for the moment – it made life interesting, though a lot harder than it probably had to be if he were careful, or planned things out. Grell hadn't even thought about what would happen if William were to find out about Sebastian and him.

...

Grell was in the cafeteria, glumly mixing some sugar into his tea. It was breakfast time for the dispatchers and dispatch-managers at this hour, but Grell had gotten here a bit early as he usually liked doing during scheduled breaks. He stood at one of the serving counters, this one being where you could find seasonings and condiments. Luckily there wasn't anyone else at this counter to bother him, as he wasn't in the best of moods at the moment. Perhaps he had been thinking too much and allowed his mind to wander off and contradict itself with his unsure opinions and views on things, or maybe he was just _bored_. Either way, he must have appeared unhappy enough to have attracted someone's concern.

"Good morning, Grell." Mary was a sweet shinigami, but not someone Grell knew very well. "You look rather down, would you like a cookie? I baked them myself!"

Grell turned around to look at her; she was smiling while holding out a tray of cookies. Mary would often pass out small treats that she made, cooking must have been a fun hobby for her - it most definitely wasn't something Grell was very good at. He smiled while taking one off the tray. "Sure, thanks." She nodded in response before leaving to ask someone else if they would like to try one.

Caleb entered the cafeteria shortly afterward with Madeline, she had been babbling uselessly about some gossip she heard concerning Lawrence (whoever that was) and repeated contact he has been having with a human. Caleb tried to remain somewhat interested throughout the story but he couldn't bring himself to care much about someone else's business. He couldn't understand why Madeline and every other woman cared to such extents about what happens to people they hardly know, and he was sure the people they gossip about wouldn't appreciate it anymore than he did. He let his mind wander off to the events of last night again, when he had found Grell sleeping in the garden – what it felt like to hold his small body in his arms.

"Are you listening to me, Caleb?" Such a bossy, annoying voice… It brought him out of his previous reminiscences. Why couldn't she _at least_ have a cute, pouty voice? - Like Grell, he had such an alluring voice, the way it was so unique, and so _whiney_. That creature was too stimulating; he couldn't even compare it to Madeline, though she got so much more attention. He could almost imagine the electrifying noises that voice could produce through those pretty, pouty lips…and how he would take _so_ much pleasure out of influencing them.

"Caleb!" The sting, the burn… Why must she obliterate his thoughts once again?

"What is it _now_, Madeline?" Caleb spoke with a sigh of defeat.

"Never mind, Caleb! You must be tired, so go have some coffee and stop acting so strange! I'll tell you later." Madeline used her eyes to skim over the cafeteria, as if she were looking for something. She smirked before speaking again. "I'm going to go speak with Walter… You know how he just _loves_ my stories!" She giggled girlishly before retreating quickly, heading in the direction of Brandon, Jacob and Walter – his so called 'friends'. Somehow, Caleb couldn't really bring himself to feel like he enjoyed their company. Sometimes, like now, Caleb felt like his whole social life was false. He didn't love his girlfriend, and he didn't like his friends all that much either – they all just _irritated_ him.

Caleb knew that Madeline had a suspicious liking for Walter, but he couldn't really bring himself to care. Maybe if he was lucky she would break up with him and he would have an excuse to be single for a while, then perhaps he could find a woman who wanted to use him the way he would use her – and they could have a false relationship to fool everyone – maybe he could even have a _real_ friend. This was all wishful thinking, though. But suddenly, he heard another womanly voice to destroy his thoughts

"Good morning, Caleb, how about a cookie? I worked really hard on them!"

It was Mary, another one of those frustrating women, like Madeline. He tried rejecting her offer once a few years ago, and she got so offended that she blew up in his face about it and wouldn't even look at him for months. Caleb didn't like sweets too much, but he also didn't have enough energy to deal with another sensitive female right now. He took one of her cookies unenthusiastically, and watched as she trotted off to go torture someone else with her homemade creation (which really wasn't asbad as Caleb made it sound).

But then something else caught Caleb's eye, it was _Grell_ -he was standing by the condiments counter eating one of Mary's cookies. The way he was eating it, the way he was holding it and biting it – just something about it all was so _cute_. Caleb felt a sudden urge for something sweet, but only if it was coming out of Grell's _mouth_. He tossed his cookie aside before approaching the other carefully, making sure that Grell didn't notice him. Once he was close enough he grabbed Grell from behind and lifted him into his arms – he had a ridiculously strong urge to do that, maybe it had something to do with holding him last night.

Caleb loved the sound Grell had made, and the adorable expression of surprise he wore now, but it didn't last long until the initial shock wore off. Grell's expression changed to irritation as he let out a pouty huff and fidgeted uncomfortably (while still holding his cookie with both hands). "Let me down, Cookie!"

Caleb just then realised he was in public, and that he was not going to get away with this if he didn't do something. He noticed Jacob, Brandon, Walter and Madeline all staring at him in horror, and on the spot he thought of something he could do.

"Brandon, catch!" Caleb shouted with a smirk.

"Wait, wha-?" Grell cut himself off with a scream as he was thrown a short distance to Brandon (dropping his cookie in the progress), and was barely caught. The shinigami clung to the other's shirt tightly with surprise, while Jacob and Walter spread out away from Brandon. It was obvious what they were planning on doing now, and Grell was about to bite Brandon to get him to let him go – but was tossed once again towards Jacob before he could get the chance.


	55. Chapter 55

AN: I wanted to tell my readers whether this story follows the anime or manga. I want to say both, but this story follows the anime and parts of the manga. I haven't included the circus arc because it is irrelevant to the story. I hope that everyone understands now if they didn't understand before. Before the beginning of this chapter I thought my readers would want to know that Kuroshitsuji 2 is out! I watched the first 3 episodes and was impressed. - Madame Stephanie

* * *

William entered the cafeteria with Rachael at his side, he wasn't feeling too much better than he had been before as he was still tired and ill-tempered, but he was at least satisfied with the reports his dispatchers had sent in and how he had finished reviewing and filing all of them. He had almost entirely forgotten about Grell and his preposterous proposal earlier that morning because of how busy he had been, he was appreciative now to have a scheduled break from his work, but it was not the smell of food but the idea of being away from his office that made this moment more enjoyable as William was almost never very hungry and ate only because he knew he had to.

It was then that he heard a scream; it was an uncommon occurrence inside the barrier so of course William had to look, but it was not the scream but the sound of the scream that attracted his attention more than anything. As he had suspected, it was Grell, but what was happening? He saw a small group of shinigami circling a large space and from the centre he heard a hoarse screaming and an occasional shouting, there was also whispers and laughter from the circle but not one of them interfered. So William knew that he had to step forward. He made his way through the circle calmly and into the centre where he saw what was happening plainly and he wondered if it was some kind of sick game.

It reminded him of how much he hated people.

He pushed Caleb aside and took his place, where he caught Grell and held onto him; because he was light he was not difficult to catch. He felt Grell breathing quickly in his ear and holding onto him as if he were the only solid thing around him. It was not only fear that radiated from his small body but an unfathomable anger that let William know that if he attempted to move him then he could be bitten. He was aware that more than Caleb and his friends were watching him now but he couldn't bring himself to care. Instead he turned to Caleb beside him and frowned as he thought quickly of how to put his anger, disgust, and hatred into words. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he began.

"I have asked myself that so many times. I know that because of our nature it is not uncommon to have enemies; I know that it is not uncommon to occasionally lose control of ourselves, but you aren't like the rest of us. There is something wrong with you but I don't know what it is. Are you sadistic, do you receive pleasure from his pain? Are you masochistic, do you enjoy the punishment of your actions? Are you desperate, do you want the attention you know you will receive?" William shifted Grell to one arm and summoned his death-scythe with his free hand; he quickly prepared it and adjusted it at Caleb's neck, and ignored all of the sounds of protest around him.

"I don't know, but I do know that whatever your reason, that you are a poor excuse of a person. Grell is so much stronger than you. Grell is so much smarter than you. Grell is so much better than you! He may not defend himself from you, but if he were allowed to use his scythe, then he could kill you. I will try to arrange for that. In the meantime, if I catch you with him doing anything this stupid again, then I will kill you." William pulled his death-scythe away and dismissed it before he left the cafeteria with Grell securely in his arms. He walked past Rachael who had been watching from a distance and William felt that he owed her an apology. He paused beside her and told her softly so that no one else could hear,

"I apologise, Rachael. I know that you are his manager, and must be fond of him, but I hope that you can understand. I don't care what I have to tell him, this has to stop, but somehow I feel that even this isn't enough… I'm not hungry; I will see you later today." And with that said William left the cafeteria with everyone watching his back. Brandon was included in this group of onlookers and stepped forward beside Caleb. He frowned and told Caleb, "I wouldn't worry about him, Caleb, he sounds impressive but he can't do anything. It is against the rules to kill another shinigami for any reason, unless they are going to kill you otherwise, and it is common knowledge how he is. He wouldn't risk his job, he could lose it and his life for that, and he wouldn't do that even for the freak he is so fond of. Let's get breakfast and forget about this."

...

William entered his office with Grell still securely in his arms, but he didn't keep him there for very long, instead he stood beside one of his two chairs for guests and attempted to remove Grell from him, who held on tighter and shook his head as if to say he didn't want to move. With a frown William told him, "Sutcliff, I know that you're acting, let go." and Grell gave a compliant sigh and allowed himself to be removed and placed in the chair. From there he looked up and gave William a smile and a thank you for rescuing him. It was then that he began to bat his fake eyelashes in such a ridiculous way that William had to look away. Instead of telling Grell, 'you're welcome,' he told him "Don't allow yourself to become comfortable, you will only be here until the breakfast break is over, and after it is you will be returning to work. Until then, please remain silent."

This was, of course, not the first time that Grell had been in William's office, and like every other time before it was not silent in the room even when William asked. He heard Grell's soft breathing, his foot tapping the floor, his fingers strumming the desk, and even noises that he didn't make like the ticking of the clock and the birds singing in the tree outside of his window. It was monotonous, but strangely peaceful, William read from the book he had bought from the human bookstore without actually understanding, he was too focused on listening to sounds around him. It was then that he heard a different kind of sound, the sound of a chair scraping against the floor and the click of high heels. William looked up at Grell who had begun to wander aimlessly around the office, looking at decorations, flipping through books on his bookshelves, and looking out the windows.

William averted his eyes from Grell and focused again on his book, but he realised quickly that he did not remember where he had left off and had to start over at the beginning on the page. He had not read very far when, once again, he was interrupted – he felt the presence of Grell's warm body on and against him as he sat on his lap and made himself comfortable. This was not the first time this had happened; it was a common occurrence even, almost every time Grell was in William's office he would try and William could not say that he liked or disliked this action as it often depended on his mood. William apparently was not in a good mood. With a frown William pushed him away, as this was his usual treatment, Grell began to mosey around his office again only to try again later. With a sigh, William pushed him away again, and even without looking at him he knew that Grell was watching him. He must have been waiting for him to say or do something, but William couldn't find the energy to say or do what Grell wanted.

William loved Grell, but he had so much difficulty expressing his love, they were too different – William was an ideal worker and Grell was an indolent worker. William was prim and proper and Grell was gaudy and flamboyant. William was careful and Grell was reckless – and there were even more differences than that. It was a common saying that opposites attract, and it was true, but even if together they fulfilled each other, opposites were like water and oil and repelled each other. When William had rescued Grell from the demon Sebastian (or perhaps he had not rescued him at all but taken him away) he had upset Grell. Because William had been worried for his life that entire week of his absence and he had been even more unsympathetic than usual he had felt bad and tried to be open with Grell, and everything he had said to him had been true, but his feelings were more complicated than that.

William may have loved Grell, but he also hated him, he hated him for being different and difficult – he would give Grell a direct order and he would disobey him. He would tell Grell about a matter of serious importance and Grell would be playful or unconcerned. He would give Grell a job and discover later that he had been shopping instead of working – It was understandable that when he had tried to be open with Grell to give him an apology that he hadn't expressed any of this, he did that every day, it was so much easier to express his hatred than his love – and it wasn't fair. He frowned and bit his lower lip, it was not the first time that thoughts of this nature had come to him, and when they did they made him more sentimental than usual. He set his book down on his desk and looked up to apologise to Grell for his bad mood earlier this morning, but he was already gone.

* * *

Even with Brandon's reassuring, Caleb didn't feel any better. Everyone's eyes were on him, including his manager, Rachael – whose gaze was strong enough for him to feel it's presence without actually looking. He felt extremely uncomfortable, not so much with himself but with the people around him. It was frightening for him to imagine what they could be thinking now, what they would talk about later, and the overall impression of him it would leave. He didn't want to be viewed as a bully, he didn't want to hear the whispers of his name in the hallways - he just wanted people to like him. He tried so hard to be likeable; he tried to do everything he could to fit in, but he was only burying himself deeper and deeper into something he was going to regret – or already regretted.

Perhaps he cared too much about what other people thought of him, and maybe that was why he admired Grell and his ability to be so open and accepting with himself, and learn to ignore everyone else. But he couldn't be so sure about that, because he hardly knew Grell at all – maybe Grell was even more lost than he was, but wasn't going to sink low enough to pretend to be something he wasn't. Either way, William was right - Grell was better than him, by so much that it made Caleb hate himself in comparison.

Caleb didn't want to be around these people anymore, he just wanted to leave. He wasn't hungry enough to put up with the embarrassment he was experiencing now. As he was walking away he heard something crunch beneath his foot, it was one of Mary's cookies – probably the one Grell had dropped. Caleb looked down at it, and as he was Madeline ran up to him.

"Why are you leaving, Caleb? Our break isn't over yet." Caleb didn't look at her, his gaze remained on the cookie - he noticed the oddly shaped bite-marks on it, it couldn't have belonged to anyone else but Grell.

"You wouldn't understand, Madeline." Even if he told her, it would probably only make things worse.

"What, are you just not hungry?" Caleb wondered if she even listened to him at all, he supposed it could be useful for this situation - maybe he could get out easily.

"You're right, I'm just not hungry." Hopefully she would just let him go now, but she did not have the reaction he intended – something must have bothered her somehow.

"You thought that I wouldn't understand that? What do you take me for, Caleb? - I'm not that stupid! And I see you would rather look down at the floor than look at me, you never look at me when I talk to you, why is that? Is it because you don't think I'm pretty, Caleb?" He was almost positive she wasn't listening; maybe she did hear him and just asked a stupid question – Madeline had to turn everything into a tragedy somehow. He hated how they were always arguing about something stupid. Caleb looked at her, figuring it would only be worse if he didn't.

"You know that you're pretty, and you know I don't think your ugly – you're only saying that because that's what you want to hear."

"No I'm not, it's because you wouldn't tell me otherwise! You're so stupid, Caleb!" Madeline looked like she was going to start crying. "You never tell me I'm pretty." Caleb might have felt bad for her if she wasn't going to cry about it – was that really worth crying over? He didn't understand Madeline, but he hated it when people cried over everything that makes them sad.

"Are you really going to cry about that, Madeline, really?" Caleb knew he was probably only making things worse, he heard Madeline sob loudly.

"Y-You're so mean to me!" Caleb didn't have much time to think or say anything concerning that because by then Rachael had came over to them with Brandon, Jacob and Walter. On sight Madeline ran over to Walter and began to tell him what happened.

"Caleb, you're coming back to my office with me." Rachael had to give these four a lecture on what happened this morning to help avoid anything like it happening again. She was sure that William had been convincing but that wasn't the kind of lecture that they needed. These dispatchers were her responsibility and she wanted to reassure them in the right direction. She began to walk away after she spoke, expecting the others to follow – after telling Madeline to stay behind and eat breakfast.

...

Grell was coming out of a strange place, he didn't remember the details of it but he did remember that there was a really tall, colourful tree – and if you climbed it to the very top then the whole world (and everyone in it) would turn various shades of your favourite colour. He also remembered not liking everything being red once he climbed to the top, because it took the beauty out of the colour if there weren't any other colours to compare it to. So to solve the problem he went around painting everything the right colour with a magical paintbrush. It was also really cold there, but it hadn't snowed at all for some reason.

Grell was awake now, and he felt the presence of water - as if he were taking a cold bath – an extremely cold bath. He shifted slightly, feeling his left leg rub against a smooth, stone material. Where was he? Grell opened his eyes, and he saw a blurry sky, which was blue with some clouds. But what he saw more was the bright, bright sun, causing Grell to blink a few times and look away. As more things were coming into focus, he heard the sound of people's voices and laughter, as well as the sound of morning birds.

"I think he's awake now."

"Good morning, Grell!"

"Hey Grell, why were you sleeping in the fountain?"

There was some laughter following these comments, was he really in a fountain? Grell sat up and looked around, seeing through his blurry vision that he was sitting in a shallow fountain, and that there were a lot of people outside, but only about four or five of them were surrounding the fountain. How did he get here? He did sit on the ledge of the fountain a lot, and so he must have slept-walked here. Grell hated how he did that, it always put him in awkward situations like this. He was also awfully cold, this water was especially bitter in the early spring weather.

He was still half-asleep, so this was all coming to him slowly; the shinigami rubbed his eyes with wet hands, which were cold to the touch. He heard the voices speaking again, also increasing in volume – but he couldn't make out what they said very clearly, he was pretty sure he heard William's name mentioned in there somewhere.

Grell's body was stiff, he moved his arms to wring out his hair (which was sopping wet), but it was rather uncomfortable for him to move at all. He let his hair fall in front of him as he squeezed the water out, he didn't want to leave a trail of water behind him when he went back inside – that would just be embarrassing and messy.


	56. Chapter 56

AN: The reason this chapter is late is because my sister was made to attend band camp from early in the morning to late at night, which made her unable to write her half of this chapter. BTW, I know that this chapter has a lot of OC action but our next chapter won't. - Madame Stephanie

* * *

In all of his time working for the Ministry of Hades, William had heard some very strange rumours, but the rumour he had heard today was one of the strangest. He was certain that no one but Grell could sleep in a fountain, he knew that he couldn't, it was hard enough for him to sleep in a bed. He stepped outside into the bright sunlight of the early morning and squinted to see until his eyes had adjusted. It all came into focus then, the green of the trees and surrounding grass and the white of the stone pathway and fountain with its clear water that shined a silver-gold in the sun. It was cold though, there was not a trace of the warmth of summer, and he could see the common, wet dew was now frost on the leaves and blades of grass. He looked forward into the fountain and saw an expected but strange sight.

It was white, but it was hard to see under the red that gave way to the sway of the water and brushed against the parts of his body that were submerged. William approached to see more, and he saw a thin, white material now clear with exposure to water clinging to the flesh that was above the surface and following his hair underneath. He was able to inhale through the little of his nose that was not underwater and exhale through his mouth which released his breath as bubbles in a small, gurgling sigh. As close as William was, he could see every shape and curve of his feminine body and the tight, scarlet underwear that was so unusual from what normal men and women would wear and was so... attractive. William knew that he would never see it on anyone but Grell, and although it was very inappropriate and to some even offensive, he almost liked it.

He was like a mermaid, he had heard so many stories of mermaids, but he had never known just what they looked like until now. William was aware though that Grell could not stay there, it was too cold, and it might even be dangerous. He also became aware then of the voices and laughter beside him, and he turned to look and saw more than one person watching the mermaid of the fountain from a distance and with amusement as though he were an animal at a zoo. It made him... angry, why hadn't they done anything to wake him? It was as if they weren't aware of how dangerous this was for him, but what made him even angrier is that even if they were aware, they had done nothing to help. He frowned and asked the person next to him, "You, what are you doing here?"

"Hi, William! What do you mean?"

"What I mean, is why haven't you woken him? William decided that he didn't care if they called him William or Mister Spears just now.

"There was no reason to, he looked happy there."

William let out a sigh of frustration; he didn't have time for this. "You're an idiot." He looked away to Grell again to wake him and saw that while he had been distracted, Grell had woken and was now sitting up and wringing out his hair.

William approached to the edge of the fountain then with a concerned expression, "Grell? Are you alright? Come with me, I'll take you to a shower." William did not need to say that fountain water was unclean; he could see leaves in the water and a leaf in Grell's hair, who was staring at him with wide eyes and a concerned expression. He took a step back as Grell made to get out of the fountain but was surprised when Grell, instead of coming with him, made to run away from him in the opposite direction of the Ministry of Hades. With a frown William reached and took Grell's arm before he was too far away and held him back, he couldn't run very far very fast in his stiff, cold body. He felt Grell struggle against him but eventually become limp when he realised that he couldn't escape from his manager. With this realisation he gave William a pleading look as if he were asking for him to let go.

It was understandable that William was unsympathetic, as it was for Grell's own good, William looked him over now – in his once-white nightgown now sopping and translucent that revealed even better than before when he was sleeping in the fountain the supple, luscious frame of his feminine body, with his hair drenched and clinging to his head and body as it shined in the sun and reflected its rays on the water that dampened it, and his slender, angular face and bright eyes that followed William's own lusting eyes up and down his revealed body and blushed a scarlet as vivid as his hair and undergarments in realisation - He made a small sound of discomfort and tried, once again, to escape William's grasp. It was this sudden reaction that brought William back to his senses, and he scorned himself silently for his actions, he looked away with an almost-unnoticeable pink blush of his own as he demanded that Grell follow him inside and indicated this with a small tug.

He took Grell to the nearest public bathroom and told him to shower, that included cleansing his body and hair and behind his ears for extra good measure, he also told him to be quick about it. Grell listened to his short lecture awkwardly as he stood trembling and revealed waiting for the time when William would tell him he could leave to take his shower. As his manager, William of course recognised and acknowledged Grell's desperation for the feel of hot, clean water for his frozen body and soap, but had to make sure to go over all of the important parts. He was and still was worried for his well-being, he asked Grell again if he could move all of his limbs and digits, and Grell once again nodded reluctantly after flexing them all. William dismissed him then, and waited outside the bathroom with the appearance of a patient person, but with the attitude of an impatient person. He ignored anyone who waved or acknowledged him as he waited for Grell outside of the door.

...

If you were to ask William, he would tell you that there was nothing definite he could say about the way that Grell smelt, it varied on the day and time of day. Now, though, Grell smelt of lavender soap and perfume and gentle coconut. William did not care for coconut, but lavender was his favourite scent, the candles on his desk and the lotion in his drawer were all lavender scented. When he was stressed, the purple glow of his candles calmed him and the cold silk of his lotion relaxed him, the way that Grell's delicate scent that filled the room, or his office, brought him clarity. He signed his name in perfect, ornate cursive on another thoroughly-read document as he thought about more than just Grell's scent, but Grell himself. What was his attachment to the young man that he had felt since their first encounter, for which Grell was not alive to remember?

It had been because he had pitied Grell, who had been at the time so young and innocent, and had died so gruesomely and so alone. It had been because he was such an attractive child and so much would have been wasted with his death that for all of those reasons and something more William kept his soul on hold and close at hand as he carried the flesh it had inhabited back to the Ministry to be remade, reborn, and reanimated. He still remembered the warmth of his still body that he had lifted into his arms only minutes after its death, the damp material of the cloth he used to clean him once he was in the creation room of the Ministry, and the stainless steel of the scalpel he used to dissect and replace more than his corneas but faulty organs. he remembered the preserving fluid he had injected into him to keep his body from stiffening or his blood from congealing as he made him into what he was now, the water and nutrients he used to rejuvenate and replenish what dehydration and starvation had taken from him, and even the magic he used to restore his body from the sunken wasteland it was to an ample beauty that he did not take full care of now. What he remembered with the most fondness was the time when he was ready to be given life, how he had placed his hands over his still heart and gave him the surge of energy he needed, after which he inhaled sharply and opened his eyes to see the face of the man he thought was an angel...

William looked up from his finished paperwork after he had set it to the side to look at Grell, who sat in a chair in front of him colouring what Grell had told him was a card of appreciation for the break that he was giving him to recover. The scratching of the colours on paper on the hard surface of a book was a strangely pleasant sound. He smiled fondly, but Grell didn't notice because he was busy with his card, he could not help but feel that he was responsible for the life he had given or even created in a sense. It was one of few things he liked about his job, the feeling of fulfilment when he successfully brought another life into this world that would have been snuffed out like the flame of a candle if it hadn't been for his interference. Grell was his most beloved, but also his greatest disappointment, he remembered the first few years of his new life when they had overcome so many obstacles and spent the time in-between in a monotonous bliss. He had even been his most successful worker for a number of years, which was difficult to imagine now.

It was then when Grell told William he had dreamed that he was his father, after he had woken him from a nap, that William confessed to him that it was strange, but he had dreamed and even come to imagine that Grell was the child he had lost in his human life. Grell began to call William his 'baba' not long after that conversation, and the name had stuck. Grell told William often that he was his baba, and even though it was true, William hadn't told Grell in a long time that he was his baby. But what made this situation more unusual for William was that he felt more for Grell than the paternal instinct of a father, but a physical attraction that could even be described as sexual. Was it wrong for him to feel that way about the man he viewed as his child? He knew that Grell felt likewise, but he felt that that wasn't enough to justify his actions.

William was deep in his thoughts when he heard an unexpected knock at the door of his office. He frowned in thought of who it might be before he bid them to come in.

* * *

Rachael Brown casually opened the door to William's office, shutting it softly behind her before approaching the Dispatch Manager's desk. She held a thin folder to her chest, which contained an important document from the Council that required William's signature of approval – which was why she was here to bring it to him.

Once Rachael was close enough to comfortably pass the folder on to William, she noticed unexpectedly, Grell Sutcliff sitting in one of the two chairs placed before his desk. He was apparently designing another card for William. This normally wouldn't have bothered her, as she often saw Grell here during the afternoon - but it was far too early in the morning for any dispatcher to have finished their mission. She was curious if Grell had an appropriate reason to be here, or if he was slacking off again, because what he was doing could hardly be called productive. Rachael looked away from Grell, turning her attention to William instead – who was now watching her curiously.

"Why isn't Grell working?" Grell hadn't bothered to acknowledge Rachael's presence or the mentioning of his name, he merely continued to busy himself with his card for William as if she weren't there. While he was doing this he listened to the attractive hum of William's voice as he explained to Rachael how he had found Grell sleeping in a fountain, and after he had showered was giving him a short break to recover in his office.

Rachael found it rather unnecessary that William kept Grell here any longer – as he seemed to be physically fine. If he hadn't been earlier then that would have been a suitable reason to keep him here, but it was obvious now that he was capable of working and should be working on something productive, instead of wasting his work hours on something he could be doing during his leisure. "Well, perhaps he should return to the workroom, I assume he has recovered by now." Rachael used her eyes to look over at Grell, noticing that she had now caught his attention for the first time after she had entered.

Grell knew that he didn't _need_ to be here anymore, but he also knew that he wanted to be here, especially in comparison to being in the workroom. He almost always placed his wants over his needs, though he often didn't even realise it. The shinigami didn't think about a lot of the things he did, or the consequences that would follow them. He also didn't really realise _why_ he did those things – it was a strong trait of his to act almost entirely on impulse.

Grell frowned and sighed inwardly, he wished that Rachael hadn't come into William's office at all. She really needed to keep herself out of other people's business; it seemed to him that she was very nosy, and she acted as if she were better than William. Grell didn't know Rachael very well, so she could be different, but that was the impression he had of her. To Grell, William was the most intelligent and mature person he knew – whenever he bothered to pay attention as William lectured him about something, about half-way through it he would usually be in awe of how logical and wise William was.

The shinigami's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of William's voice ordering him to return to the workroom – which was probably influenced by Rachael while he had been musing. Grell _really_ didn't want to go back to work; he felt a sudden impulse to defend himself as if his happiness had been attacked. "…B-But I can't go, Will! I haven't finished my card for you yet!"

William sighed, as if he weren't in the mood to argue with Grell, and told him apathetically that he could stay here to finish his card - but however long he stayed was going to have to be made up later by working overtime.

Grell didn't know what to say, that was probably the best he was going to get out of William, and – judging by the way he had said it – his didn't seem very happy about it. The shinigami didn't think he had done anything to make him unhappy; maybe it had been the way he had reacted? Perhaps William was hoping that he would just leave without resistance, but couldn't that also mean that he didn't want him in his presence at all? Grell didn't know, but he often assumed things, and came to his own conclusions; he based them off observations – since he was a rather observant person. Perhaps he had become that way because of William, who was so hard to understand because he hardly ever expressed himself through words, which made Grell have to guess what he was thinking or why he may have reacted a certain way.

But Grell didn't think it was fair – why should he have to be punished for wanting to express his appreciation? He hated working overtime, and he didn't want to slop together his card to make sure he didn't get too much of it. Maybe he should just leave; he wasn't going to be able to make his card perfect without having a lot of time to make up. Grell picked up his Madame Missy which had been sitting beside him, and stood up from the chair he had been seated in. "I'm going to leave, Will."

Grell left William's office and stood outside his door in the hallway. He leaned against the wall, instead of going to the workroom right away he decided he would stay here for a little while. He wondered what William was thinking right now, did he care at all that he left? He probably didn't, since he was the one who asked to leave in the first place. Grell looked down at his unfinished card, he wondered if William even cared about this one. He knew William liked his cards - because whenever he gave him one he would surprisingly show some appreciation, but he had given him so many cards in the past, it made him wonder if his even valued his new ones. If that were true, then William could probably care less about the card he was holding now…

_"Stupid Rachael, stupid William…" _Grell mumbled to himself. If Rachael hadn't come in and intruded on William's business, then he wouldn't be out here and his card wouldn't have become worthless. If William hadn't listened to Rachael and let her decide how to deal with his situations, then this wouldn't have happened either – and now his card was just a piece of trash! The shinigami found himself tearing it in half; there was no point to it anymore, so it didn't really matter what happened to it.

"What was that, Grell?" Grell looked over in the direction of the voice, seeing that Caleb was approaching him. He felt suddenly frightened, remembering how he had recently been tossed around by Caleb and his friends as if were being used to play catch with. He attempted to hide his fear behind a somewhat calmer expression, knowing that showing any kind of weakness could be a cause of further harassment – which was something he hoped to avoid.

"It was nothing, why do you care?" Grell said in a slightly nervous tone. He assumed from the small smirk on Caleb's face that he had detected his uneasiness, which he couldn't understand what was so amusing about.

"I don't." Caleb said bluntly.

"Then… Why did you ask?" Grell didn't understand why he would bother asking about something he didn't care to know the answer to.

"It doesn't matter, Grell, why do _you_ care?" Grell didn't see where this conversation was going, it was pointless, and slightly annoying for him - Caleb probably only asked his first question just to get his attention and had no purpose other than that. The shinigami considered simply leaving, but there was something he wanted to do more. He shortened the distance between Caleb and himself, holding his doll to him while he turned his charm on with a pretty smile.

"Do you remember all of those times you called me attractive, Cookie? A long time ago when I was new here and you persistently tried to woo me on sight? You told me so many nice things, why don't you tell me a few now?" Caleb appeared dumbfounded from Grell's actions and quickly took a step back – though once he was at an appropriate distance from Grell he seemed to be able to collect himself enough to speak.

"You mean the time when you were practically mute and followed William around like a duckling? Get over the past, freak; I'm very different now from the way I was back then. I find it pathetic how you have to remind yourself of long past events to feel better about yourself in the present." Caleb wondered why he even wanted to hear that, it's not like anything he said ever mattered to Grell. Ever since he met Grell, he had showed no interest in him, the only person he even cared about at the time was his cold-blooded manager. Caleb had tried so hard to get his attention with sweet words and occasional gifts, but he never got anywhere with him. Then eventually people started ridiculing him about it…

It wasn't fair, why was Grell so set on someone who rarely ever showed interest in him? Especially while there was someone else who was practically engrossed with him, and made it obvious. Then again, why was _he_ so set on Grell when he showed absolutely no interest in him? Though he expressed himself in a different way than he had back then, why did he still bother to try? He focused his attention on Grell, who appeared to be deep in thought. What was it that he liked about Grell so much?

"Apparently you've changed a lot too since then." Caleb said, "You were much more innocent, especially with your attempts at receiving attention. Now you seem to have become a bit desperate, if you're asking for it from _me_ of all people. Do you miss the time when William would give you attention? I think he's lost interest in you, Grell, sometimes I wonder if _anyone_ will ever be interested in you enough to be your lover. Personally, I think you're hopeless."

"Y-You're wrong, Caleb. I have a lover…" Grell said in a small voice. Caleb seemed confused by this and wore a look of disbelief.

"Don't lie to me, luvvie, I know you're acting. No one-"

"I'm not!" Grell slid his ring off his finger and shoved it in Caleb's face. "His name is Sebastian and he gave this to me, it even has his name engraved in it." Grell watched anxiously as Caleb stared at the ring for a few seconds, before he felt his back violently shoved into the wall behind him, causing him to drop it.

"I've never heard of a Sebastian around here. Is he a human? Are you trying to pull off some _forbidden love_ rubbish by being with one? You know we're not allowed to have relationships outside of the ministry. So, Grell, do you love him? Is he all you ever _dreamed_ of? Do you think you're going t-"

"Caleb!" Caleb froze, did Rachael _really_ just catch him in this situation? "What are you _doing_? Let go of Grell this instant!" Caleb quickly removed his hands from Grell's shoulders and backed away. He watched Grell uncomfortably as he immediately picked up his ring from the floor, before turning his head to look at Rachael.

Rachael let out a distressed sigh, she didn't bother to look at Caleb. "Just how many times am I going to have to punish you before you leave Grell alone? I already disciplined you recently for harassing Grell in the lunchroom. What am I going to do with you? Do you even _care_ that by doing this you're making William get frustrated with _me_?" Rachael turned her head to look at Grell. "I'm sorry again, Grell. Could you inform William about this? I just left his office, and I don't really feel up to facing him again when something like this had already happened so recently." With that, Rachael took Caleb's wrist and began to walk away with him towards her office.

Grell had examined his ring thoroughly for damage before placing it back on his finger. He was relieved to be saved from Caleb, but now he had to go tell William about it. The shinigami normally didn't tell William about his problems, but he had no choice now because he had been ordered to by a higher authority. Grell held his doll to him with one arm, and used his other one to open the door to William's office.

He walked into the room and sat down in one of the chairs in front of William's desk. His manager probably hadn't been expecting him to come back so soon, so he knew that he was probably waiting for an explanation. Though Grell still felt a bit nervous from before, Caleb had been acting pretty scary earlier.

"Rachael wanted me to inform you that Caleb was harassing me again…"


	57. Chapter 57

_"...and we, the Elder Council of the Ministry of Hades, acknowledge the repetition of the same offenses that our younger members commit without modesty or understanding of how their actions may affect not just themselves, but the entire Ministry..."_ William heard a knock at his office door, but did not respond because he was engrossed in the document he had received from the Council. _"...and the document you are reading now, good managers of the dispatcher organisation of the Ministry of Hades, has been sent to you to inform you of the violation of the reaper/human law of the Ministry of Hades that your dispatchers often abuse..."_ The office door opened and Grell stepped inside. _"...your dispatchers will leave the Ministry for non-work related purposes to communicate with humans or intellectual humanoids of different nature and origin, which is a strict violation of a law we are sworn to uphold. You, managers of the dispatcher organisation, must stop this..."_ William made to put the document away when Grell entered, but as he shut the desk drawer to read it later, the last words of the sentence he had been reading jumped out at him just as Grell opened his mouth to speak, _"...or the Ministry will fall into ruin..."_

William felt strangely unnerved after reading that, and that feeling may have been evident on his face by the way that Grell bashfully explained that Caleb Cook had been harassing him again. William frowned for what felt like one too many times at the mention of that name. Caleb Cook and Grell Sutcliff, he wondered what their history was. He remembered when Grell was introduced to the Ministry from training, and that Grell, in his free time would relax in the courtyard garden. He also remembered observing on more than one occasion Caleb Cook, he supposed the same Caleb Cook, with longer hair and a better attitude, socialising in a civil fashion with Grell. He was curious how that had become what it was now, but what he was even more curious about was the situation at hand in the present. He paused to push his glasses higher before he asked Grell, "I would think that it is too early in the morning for behaviour of that nature, I doubt that he has even finished the job he was assigned yet, and you haven't either, Grell. The situation is unavoidable now, though, so Grell – what has Caleb done to you?"

Often when William asked Grell a personal question, the younger man took full advantage of the rare opportunity, and went into great detail and effort to interest his superior. So it was surprising for William to hear Grell tell him that what had happened with Caleb was unimportant and nothing more than his usual harassment, he also added that he wouldn't even be here now if Rachael hadn't ordered him to. William listened to this short explanation for anything that might explain this unusual response, when Grell had finished speaking William looked up from his hands folded on his desk and into Grell's face – he sounded and looked nervous – he was curious why. He continued to look into Grell's face for answers but was soon unable to, as Grell broke eye-contact and looked down at his feet, which he shuffled uncomfortably under his manager's gaze. Now William knew something was wrong, an actor, or in this case an actress, should never break eye contact and withdraw. William was not hesitant to tell Grell what was on his mind, and he did,

"Mr. Sutcliff, I am disappointed in you, I know that Mr. Cook has been more active than usual and that there are pressures beyond him that are disturbing you. I want you to tell me when they happen – why do you try to hide it from me? – I wouldn't think any less of you if you told me when you're troubled, is that why you don't, because you're worried that I might? Mr. Sutcliff – Grell – I know that you are capable of taking care of yourself, but there are sometimes things that are beyond your - " William was unexpectedly cut off by Grell who whined that he was hungry. It was apparent that he wasn't listening and was trying to change the subject. William decided heatedly that he would take his lecture in that direction if that was what Grell wanted, "- Of course you are, with what you had for breakfast! I believe that I said I knew you could take care of yourself, but how can that be true if you can't even feed yourself! You do know that feeding yourself is part of taking care of yourself, Mr. Sutcliff, and you can't function as well without!"

But Grell seemed to have had enough of William's lecturing and moved across the room (taking a mint or two from William's mint bowl on his way) to unexpectedly sit astride him, he was of course quiet after that. Grell began to lecture William, but not in the way that William had lectured him, he grasped William's tie firmly and demanded in a pouty voice to tell him five nice things.

William knew that Grell often did unexpected things, it had happened more than once in the time that Grell had re-entered his office, but this was too strange. William made to take Grell's hand away from his tie but he had a firm grip – a firm grip that William had given him, he thought indignantly – but Grell had been expecting this and with a quick movement undid the tie from around William's neck and slipped it into his trousers. William watched the black silk tie disappear from his sight incredulously.

Grell smiled mischievously at William's expression and reminded William about his proposal for five nice things, brushing his hand against the crotch of his trousers, he laughed shortly and added that if he couldn't do that than Grell wouldn't give it back, he would have to get it back himself. William took a deep breath as he considered his options, he had lived with Grell since his creation and never had had sex with him, which was what Grell was proposing (even if he wasn't entirely serious) so that was not an option, if that were ever to happen William wanted it to be special. It couldn't be so difficult though to tell Grell five nice things, but even then, it would be harmful to his pride. William decided that right now, Grell's virginity was more important than his pride and began,

"…Grell, your bowtie and shoelaces are tied and even,

You look and smell nice, as always,

You can make this job interesting for me, like now,

I - I think about you often in my free time,

And Grell, you are so immature and childish right now - almost like – like my baby…"

William almost smiled at the look Grell was giving him, but was feeling the embarrassment of his words come over him, he began to feel his cheeks burn pink and looked away from Grell, who took his face in his hand and made him look at him as he removed the tie from his pants and fasten it once again around William's neck, who noticed awkwardly that it was warm. When Grell made to pull away and remove himself from William's lap, William acted entirely on impulse and took Grell's face in his hands, almost the way that Grell had done to him, and made him look at him as he drew him into a kiss.

It was passionate and sweet from the peppermint oil that remained in Grell's mouth. William ravaged the flavour with his tongue and savoured the burning sensation of the menthol. He ran his tongue carelessly across Grell's teeth and winced from the feel of a cut on his tongue and the taste of blood that came with it. But of course, William and Grell had to eventually break away for air, and when they did William was concentrating on catching his breath and sucking on his tongue uncomfortably. William normally wouldn't have been so careless, but it was habit, he usually did so with Mrs. Brown after all. He wiped his lips and avoided making eye contact with Grell, who he knew must be looking at him and waiting for an explanation.

William instead told Grell that he was dismissed.

...

Sebastian looked down at the shopping list in his hand and crossed out the last item that he needed for the young master's dinner tonight, he scowled in thought as he read over the rest of the items to be certain that he had them all, and when he was, Sebastian held the paper bag of items to him more securely and left the grocery to head back to the Phantomhive manor. Sebastian was unaware that Grell, for work-related purposes, happened to be going the same way.

When he was close enough to sense him, he paused to focus on the aura, and it was indeed his princess, Grell. He smiled mischievously and hid himself in a shadowed alley nearby as Grell walked past, and once he was in front of him, Sebastian slipped out from the shadows and reached out a hand to unexpectedly turn a surprised Grell around to face him. He laughed softly to himself at his surprised and precious expression. "Good morning, my lady, what is a woman of your sort doing so early this morning? You should be indoors with tea and other delicacies, served to you, of course, by me. But I suppose that we all have our duties." After a sigh of realisation, Sebastian noticed the thoughtful, even worried look on Grell's pretty face, now that the surprise was removed from the features. He grimaced as he brushed some hair out of his pet's face delicately to see his expression better. "Is something the matter, princess? You seem troubled."

It occurred to Sebastian that it was unlike himself to be concerned about a human's state of mind, other than his food's, of course, but he didn't let that distract him.

* * *

Before Sebastian had surprised Grell, the shinigami had been deep in thought – it must have been apparent on his face – that these thoughts had been troubling him. Grell sucked on his lower lip, he was unsure if he should tell Sebastian what was on his mind. If he did, there was a possibility that it might upset him, but if he didn't, it might just make things worse...

Grell was stressed, he usually didn't think about things so complexly. Typically he would act on impulse and not bother to ponder on what was healthy for the situation, and how it may affect things later. The shinigami felt his eyes begin to tear up.

He loved William. He had loved William almost since the very first day he walked as a shinigami. Grell remembered just hours before when William had confessed to him some of the things he had always wanted to hear, and even kissed him. Even though it was wonderful at the time, it bothered him now because it wasn't right – it wasn't right to love William now that Sebastian was his lover.

But William was so different from Sebastian. William was good at _lecturing_, not comforting – _criticising_, but not complimenting – and _working_, not playing. Also, William was rarely in a good mood and didn't have much time for anything else but his work; and was too full of pride to make a move on him, so much so that Grell had to practically force it out of him. It was frustrating, and William often ended up hurting his feelings somehow – but things always got better eventually. Grell didn't think that anything could happen that was capable of damaging his love for William, because every time William hurt him, he usually found a way to blame it on himself. It was hard for him to be angry with William.

Sebastian was much more romantic than William, he could always make him feel better whenever he was upset, he could make him laugh, make him smile – the demon had such a way with words. He made him weak; whenever he visited him it was like he would sap all of the strength from his body, leaving him vulnerable and revealed. Grell realised that it hadn't taken too long for him to develop such a strong attachment to Sebastian – even to go so far as to trust the demon. It wasn't safe, but the shinigami couldn't bring himself to care, Sebastian was one of the most amazing people he had ever met.

But his relationship with Sebastian was at risk, if he were to do the honourable thing and tell him that he loved both him and William, it could possibly bother Sebastian – which could lead to damage or the destruction of their relationship. He didn't know what to do! If he didn't tell him, then if he found out later the horror of the situation may become unimaginable. Sebastian could accuse him of all sorts of terrible things and leave him without ever truly understanding the way he felt.

The shinigami couldn't hold back from crying anymore – why did he have to be so emotional all the time? He tried to keep from sobbing; instead just letting his tears flow silently. He had a very strong urge to lean on Sebastian, but he didn't really feel like it was justified in his current situation. Sebastian seemed untouchable, as if Grell had cut him off from the world for his own self-discipline.

"Oh…" Grell noticed the concern in Sebastian's expression; it made him feel so guilty. There was a pause before he could bring himself the courage to speak, there were times when Grell wished he could just disappear, and that conflicts such as these wouldn't bother him. He could feel fear swelling up inside of him; he hadn't felt near this frightened since that time he had been kidnapped by that demon. He had to fight it… "…I'm not going to apologise, because it won't make a difference in the way I feel, it would only be a hollow attempt to help me feel better about myself." … "But, I will apologise for not telling you sooner. I should have told you a long time ago, actually, and it's bothering me now. - I'm not going to beat around the bush much longer; I don't want you to assume anything…wrong." Grell couldn't stop now, though he could feel his heart-rate increasing with the suspense of his words – it added to the grotesque feeling of emotions, it felt like his heart was breaking from guilt, and the thought of losing Sebastian. The holding back of his sobs was suffocating as his tears flowed and his thoughts strained to think of a way to word what he was going to say.

"It's about William, I love him, Sebastian. I've loved him for almost as long as I've lived in this life. Though we do not have the stable relationship I would like it doesn't change the way I feel about him. It is complicated, but I have a certainty that he loves me as well – even if he fails to express it." Grell wasn't sure how this was going to end, but if it didn't end well; he at least wanted Sebastian to know the truth clearly and without doubts. "But I want you to know that even if there is someone else I love in my life, that it does not weaken the significant love that I have for you – as goes for him as well. I love you, Sebastian. But I cannot tell William that because I know that it will only end in tragedy – I can only hope that you will be more accepting. My love for William is inevitable."

Grell knew that all he said was true, he felt comfortable with it – which was what he had wanted. What had worried him was that he would end up saying something he didn't mean, and giving Sebastian the wrong idea. But Sebastian knew everything; it was up to him now how he decided to take it.


	58. Chapter 58

Why did a reaper inspire such strong emotion in a demon such as himself? He had asked himself that before but even after he answered it, it came back to him: because no answer seemed suitable. He watched Grell tremble and moan as tears slid down his face, and noticed that he looked insecure: as if he needed assistance to remain standing or would fall. Sebastian wanted to be the one to give him that assistance so he wouldn't feel so _useless_, he didn't know why, but standing here and watching Grell cry made him feel that way. He set down the paper bag of food and made to hold Grell to him, but Grell was looking into Sebastian's face in a determined way and had opened his mouth to speak.

Grell had a way of building suspense, what with his elusive hinting of an unknown topic, almost as if he intended to enter cold water but could not find the determination to put so much as his foot in, and all the while Sebastian was restraining the urge to push him into that water, but knew better than to do so. Grell mentioned William then, Sebastian hadn't been expecting that, William was the one who had collected Grell's remains from the pavement after Sebastian had finished with him during their first encounter so long ago, but Sebastian did not remember much else about William than that. So when Grell confessed that he harboured a love for William, Sebastian was dumbfounded and he strained himself to catch every word spoken in Grell's tear-choked voice as he went into more detail about his love for William.

Sebastian had been looking down at the pavement in thought as Grell spoke, but when Grell finished his confession Sebastian looked up from the floor and into Grell's face. Sebastian could sense Grell's fear and could see it even clearer in his glistening eyes and trembling lip that without a word pleaded for a response. Sebastian allowed his eyes to skim over his fragile frame and delicate skin, his shining hair and exquisite facial-structure. Grell was beautiful, and he had told him so before: but in the light of recent events it was all the more obvious, and Sebastian hated him for it. Sebastian hated Grell. If he had not been beautiful then he would never have had a chance of awakening Sebastian's interest, but because he _was_ beautiful Sebastian had been more interested in caring for him after his rescue than he would have been otherwise, which resulted in discovering more about Grell and even coming to appreciate him, which must have inspired Grell to come to him the fateful night he took his virginity, which somehow resulted in the situation he was in now, with Grell before him desiring his acceptance and Sebastian experiencing… envy, for Grell's love of William.

Why would Sebastian envy William? Sebastian put considerate thought into this question, and when Sebastian came to an answer, he was not satisfied with that answer at all. It must have been because, even though Sebastian was the one who had rescued Grell, had taken care of Grell, and had taken Grell for the first time – Grell did not belong to Sebastian, he belonged to William, and always would belong to William. Grell was William's creation and could and would never leave him. When his contract was complete, he would leave Grell, and Grell would still belong to William. Grell might even forget about him, if it were true that he loved William, why would he need him after he was gone?

This inspired another question, why did Sebastian need Grell?

It was because of the sting he felt in his eyes that Sebastian reached forward and took Grell to him unexpectedly, he felt Grell stumble into him and make a sound of surprise as he draped his slender arms around Sebastian's neck to support himself. Sebastian, with his arms around Grell's waist, did everything in his power to keep his tears from falling; it was the best he could do to keep Grell from seeing as his head was now positioned on his shoulder.

Sebastian didn't want to love Grell. Sebastian didn't want to love anyone.

He decided that he would give Grell the response he wanted and he made certain that his voice did not waver with emotion when he spoke, "I understand. I will not lie to comfort you, because of that I admit that I am not content with your love for William, but am aware that there is nothing I can do to stop that. I was unaware that you loved him. I did not know that you had that connection with him, but I have begun to realise that there is very little I do know about you, and I want to change that. I don't want you to be afraid to tell me anything…" Sebastian, even still, could feel Grell's fear as if it were his own. He could also feel the eyes of onlookers. He grimaced as he tightened his arms around Grell, _his_ Grell. "…I want you to remember that, Grell."

…

Sebastian did not use the name "Sebastian" then, he was a very young demon and went by another, now forgotten name a long time ago when humans were a very young race and lived on a very young, very beautiful earth. Sebastian had come to the surface to make a contract, but was distracted from his goal when he saw a particular human female selling fruit that was so astonishingly attractive that he decided to pursue her. That same night, in her dark, one-room cottage lit by the low embers of a dying fire he ran his inexperienced hands over her weak, bony body that for all its imperfections held his unwavering attention.

It was true that now, almost fourteen-hundred years from that shady night in what was now France, like many of his other mates he could not remember her face or body very clearly, but he remembered very well what words they had exchanged in her native language.

Sebastian's curious hands brushed over the space in-between her small breasts and paused, as he thought that he had felt something, and he had. It was what he knew now to be the fast pace of her heart that resonated within her chest. She watched him curiously from underneath heavy-lidded eyes as he felt and listened, if he listened hard enough he could hear it, too. He looked from his hands, still over her chest, and into her eyes when he asked, "What is this?"

"Why, don't you know? It is, of course, my heart."

Sebastian thought about what she had told him, and as he thought about what a heart could be, he allowed greed to overcome him. He continued to look into her eyes seriously, and told her in a demanding voice, "I want it."

She only smiled and told him, "You already have it."

This was what confused Sebastian the most, what could she mean by that? Her heart was in her chest, Sebastian could feel and hear it within her, how could he own something that existed inside of her? "What do you mean by that? Can I take it?"

She even laughed and after shut her eyes softly, "You are a strange man. I did not mean that you could take it from me, if you did, I would die. It is meaningless that way, anyhow. It is common to say to a loved one, 'you have my heart', it means, 'I love you'."

Love?

She opened her eyes again, that smile still on her face, "Do you have a heart, my love?"

Sebastian was unsure if he had a heart, he imagined that even if he did, it would function differently from a human heart. "I think so."

"Can I have it?"

She had told him that to give someone your heart means that you love them, Sebastian didn't know what love was, but he had heard the word before. Love sounded like a good thing, and he liked this human female, so maybe he loved her. "Yes, you can."

…

Grell was almost asleep on Sebastian's bed, he had come over almost two hours earlier, and in that time Sebastian had fed him and put him to bed. The demon was curious how often he would see Grell now that, as Grell had admitted to him, he had earned his trust. Now, Sebastian lay beside him with his head gently resting on his chest, and he heard the beat of his heart which was like that woman's so long ago, but also unlike her's because his heart was beating slowly as he was almost asleep. This sound reminded Sebastian of her and he wondered where she was now, it did not take long for him to realise that she was probably dead, and had been so for a long time now. He closed his eyes, continuing to listen to that steady, unwavering sound.

The life of a human was too short, and could be ended prematurely too easily, he at least took comfort in that Grell would be with him for as long as he wanted him to. He could not die of old age or of illness and he was strong enough to defend himself and to survive other obstacles that could end a normal human's life.

But he realised, because of William, there was nothing keeping Grell from leaving him. If he became bored, or decided that he no longer wanted to be a part of their dangerous, forbidden relationship, then he could leave. Sebastian searched (strangely enough) in a silent panic for a conclusion and eventually discovered one, something of an oath, as a demon he depended on sincerity. He sat up from his resting position and asked Grell softly, so that he wouldn't startle him,

"Grell, are you awake?"

He saw Grell stir and heard him make a small sound that resembled 'yes', so Sebastian continued, "Can I have your heart?"

* * *

Grell wasn't entirely unconscious yet, but he was hardly in a state where he could think clearly or respond properly. It didn't take long for him to reach this state; he was in a very comfortable and secure place with Sebastian, in a bed much more likable than his own. Due to the trauma of recent events, he was exhausted, and pleased to enter the world of his dreams where there were no such conflicts to stress him. Though, the world of his dreams wasn't so wonderful at times, he would have to hope it wasn't one of those nights.

His nightmares could be more appropriately described as warped versions of his memories: sometimes situations that already happened were dreamt to have occurred in much more unpleasant ways, such as bad memories of his reaper life, and sometimes even his human life. The memories of his human life tended to scare him the most, probably because they were so distant that they had become much more distorted than the ones of more recent times.

The reaper heard a soft voice; it seemed so remote, as if it had fallen from the clouds over his body like sprinkled glitter. The voice gave him comfort; it floated around him in the form of bubbles and popped in his face leaving behind a fresh scent.

It was dark…

Grell soon identified this voice as Sebastian, but he wasn't entirely certain what he had said, but it didn't matter because it was almost as if he had _felt_ what he had said – he didn't know how to respond, so he let out a small noise and hoped it reached him through the thick fog that he felt around him. There was a strong presence of blackness, he was in a world of darkness, but it seemed as if there was an even darker darkness outside of the world he was in - perhaps it was because that darkness was… alive?

_"Can I have your heart?"_

Grell opened his eyes slightly to see a shadowy, surreal figure: it was surrounded by white and had an unnatural beauty about it. What was he seeing? Was it Sebastian? No, it couldn't be, because he didn't look like what he saw. Or, did he? What he was seeing through his blurry, sleepy vision could be something similar.

His heart, had he ever given it to anyone before? He could remember many times when Angelina had said she wanted to see it; she often said strange things like that. He had given it to William, and Sebastian, he knew that… His heart was in pieces, should he give one to this dark figure?

"As long as you take care of it…"

The reaper couldn't keep his eyes open much longer; he allowed them to close as he watched the beautiful figure disappear from his view.

...

Mey-Rin had decided that today was going to be another _boring_ day, where she would fail as a maid in this house and daydream of being someone else. She felt like her life was a monotonous cycle of boredom – unless there was an attack – that was really her only source of entertainment. If she ever thought about it, her situation was very sad and dull. The maid perhaps thought about it too much, she probably wasn't supposed to – the life of a servant wasn't supposed to be interesting.

"Mey-Rin! You won't believe this! You _have _to see!" Bard grabbed Mey-Rin's arm and covered her mouth before she could scream, and began to tug her off and out of the servants' bedroom, a few doors down until they were outside of the kitchen. "_You have to be quiet_..." He whispered as he let go of her, and opened the door to the kitchen very slightly.

"Bard, what is going on?" Mey-Rin had been taken entirely by surprise, she hadn't been expecting that to happen at all!

"Quiet! Look inside, Mey-Rin, do you see Sebastian in there?" He whispered and pointed at the cooking Sebastian. "Do you _know_ what time it is? Its 5:47 AM, The young master doesn't eat until 7:00 AM! Sebastian must have lost his mind coming in here so early! Either that..." Bard put his mouth close to Mey-Rin's ear and whispered, "..._Or, we're finally going to catch him eating..._" Mey-Rin gasped.

"Mey-Rin, Bard? What are you both looking at? I want to see!" Finnian ran over toward them, but Bard slammed the door shut just when he was about to look in.

"You wouldn't understand, Finny!" Bard shouted defensively as Mey-Rin started whining.

"N-Now he's probably not even g-going to finish making it if he suspects we know! What if we never come across a chance like this again?" Bard looked at her thoughtfully, and then back at Finnian – he had a plan.

"This is all you fault, Finny! Do you want to make up for it?" The startled Finnian nodded. "Well then, listen up! I want you to go in there and ask Sebastian why he's cooking this early – I want you to find out _exactly _who's going to eat that." Bard opened the kitchen door again and pushed a slightly reluctant Finnian inside, shutting it again afterward. "See, Mey-Rin? We still have a chance."

"Do you think Finny will be alright in there by himself, Bard?" The maid was concerned, if it was true that Sebastian tried to keep his eating habits a secret then how would he respond if he suspected one of them (or all of them) were suspicious of him?

"Of course he will! What do you think Sebastian is going to do? I think you worry too much, Mey-Rin."

The two stood and waited impatiently for a few minutes, and every second that passed was another second of worry to Mey-Rin – maybe she did worry too much - she felt like she was always stressed out about something. Although she was worried for Finnian, she was also anxious to know what the suspicious butler was up to! It came over her then that what they were doing could be entirely unnecessary, and that Bard just had the time wrong, or Sebastian felt like preparing the Young Master's breakfast early. She was about to tell Bard that maybe what they were doing was silly, until she was reminded of how much she wanted to know herself when she saw Finnian come out of the kitchen unharmed.

"Finny! What did he say?" Mey-Rin exclaimed excitedly. Finnian was confused; he didn't understand what could be so thrilling about Sebastian cooking early.

"Sir Sebastian said it was for a guest. Why did you-"

"A guest!" Bard looked at Mey-Rin, "Mey-Rin! Do you know who it could be?"

"Well…" Mey-Rin thought it was obvious; who could a "guest" in this house be that they were unaware of other than Grell? Sebastian could be so sneaky, feeding him without the Young Master's knowledge; at least she assumed that was what he was doing. If what she assumed was true, then Sebastian was actually being quite risky! What would happen if the Young Master knew what he was up to? Mey-Rin was so envious of Grell; he had a forbidden love with the man of her dreams – what she would do for such a fun, exciting life. "We could probably find out, I imagine that they're waiting in the dining hall."

Bard took off quickly in that direction once she finished speaking, the life of a Phantomhive servant was so dull that anything out of the ordinary was considered much more exciting than most people would think. Mey-Rin followed after him, but Bard stopped just as quickly as he started when he noticed Finnian following behind them. "Don't follow us, Finny! This doesn't concern you."

"Why not?" Finnian wanted to be involved in the excitement, Bard and Mey-Rin always left him out of everything.

"Just go play in the garden, Finny!" Bard shouted as he began to charge off again.

"Yeah, Finny! Just go play in the garden!" Mey-Rin went after Bard, both of them leaving Finnian behind in the hallway. He would just give them away and get in the way of their plans; he was too loud and too strong to be sneaking around with them!

Once Bard and Mey-Rin reached the dining hall their pace slowed to a careful and concentrated walk. They kept low while they searched for a place to hide, discovering a darker area of the room out of the guest's view, where they could observe and identify them.

Everything was crystal clear to Mey-Rin now, who else had long, vivid red hair and visited the Phantomhive Manor other than Grell? There he was, sitting quietly at the dining table, waiting for Sebastian to bring him a meal worthy of the Young Master himself. It wasn't fair, how she would _love_ to be in Grell's shoes right now - or in this case, his slippers.

Bard should have been expecting this, how could he have not known already? They rarely had _actual_ guests over at the manor, but Grell seemed to come over almost regularly now. He wondered what Sebastian was going to give him: whatever it was, it smelt good, and now he was hungry.

"Who's that?" Finny shouted, who had followed the other two servants without their knowing. Mey-Rin screamed out in surprise and fear!

"_Finny!_ What are you doinghere?" Mey-Rin hated it when loud, unexpected noises came from behind her, she just couldn't handle it!

"I thought I told you to go play in the garden, Finny?"

"Yeah, Finny! Why did you follow us?"

"What is wrong with you, Finny?"

"Oh, Finny! You g-gave us _away_!" Mey-Rin noticed Grell looking in her direction, she felt her cheeks burning and her eyes watering, her heart pounding and her head spinning - she was_ so_ embarrassed – she thought her life might just end! The maid screamed and ran out of the dining hall faster than she believed she had ever run before. Bard sighed, everything was going so well until Finnian came and ruined everything! He wasn't embarrassed like Mey-Rin, but he figured he should go after her just in case she hurt herself during her fit.

Bard went after Mey-Rin, and Finnian was left alone – he hated being alone, so he decided he should follow Bard, he wasn't going to be left out again!


	59. Chapter 59

AN: Hello my readers. I apologise that I did not leave an author's note for the previous chapter. I remember that after its release I felt bad that I hadn't. FYI, I did not spend the two months in between the last chapter and this chapter doing nothing, my sister and I have improved the following chapters: 42, 43, 44, 45, 47, 50, 51, 52, 54, 56. I would appreciate if you took the time to re-read them, although I understand if you do not want to. Most of the changes that were made focus on our OC character, Rachael, but there are other changes that do not involve her.

* * *

When Bard had told Mey-Rin that Sebastian had been cooking at 5:47 AM he had been incorrect. If he had read the time on the clock outside the kitchen again, after he had brought Mey-Rin to watch him cook he would have realised that 3 minutes had passed since he was there to when he had brought Mey-Rin there with him. Sebastian had started cooking at 5:40 AM and had finished at 5:50 AM. It was around that time when Finnian came into the kitchen to inquire about his cooking, and even though Sebastian had heard Bard, Mey-Rin, and Finnian outside the door before he had even come in, he decided to humour them with an answer: it was for a guest, of course.

Sebastian did not present his meal to Grell after he had finished making it at 5:50 AM, he had to prepare the food before that: Sebastian had boiled oats in whole milk instead of water to make oatmeal, but it was too plain – with a kitchen knife he had cut apples and bananas into thin slices and added them, with a measuring cup had measured ¼a cup of brown sugar and added that too, and had decided to be creative by adding cinnamon and nutmeg (no more than ½ a teaspoon, of course). Sebastian had included with this a teapot containing steaming, black tea complete with sugar and cream on the side if he wanted it, and 2 mild tea cookies. Sebastian had tasted all of this before he presented it to Grell, and hated it just as he had thought he would, before he balanced it all on a tray to take to Grell.

In his human form Sebastian could eat and had a perception of taste, but Sebastian discovered that he disliked the food that general humans liked (Sebastian hated the taste of sweet things, he had never and probably never would like human deserts for that reason.) and liked the taste of substances that general humans disliked – more than general humans; perhaps all humans disliked the taste of: straight vinegar, ocean water, natural gasoline, crude oil, acid, urine, and Sebastian's favourite – blood. Sebastian had learned that it was uncommon for a person to taste these things in public, or mention their taste in public, or use them as a response to the awkward question of what Sebastian liked to eat.

It was 6:00 AM when Sebastian entered the dining room with Grell's breakfast on a moving cart. He was pleased that he did not see or sense the servants in the room as he thought he might have (due to their meddlesome tendencies), he did see and sense Grell though, who was present in the room. Grell seemed to sense Sebastian too, and watched him approach with an unreadable expression on his face.

Sebastian set Grell's breakfast down on the table in front of him and removed the lid that covered it, which released sweet-smelling steam, but Grell did not look at it and continued to watch Sebastian as he went on to prepare his tea. He poured tea into his teacup from the teapot, he added a measured amount of cream, but when he asked Grell if he wanted one or two cubes of sugar Grell didn't respond.

Sebastian put down the sugar tongs with a sigh, and sat down beside Grell. He reached into his coat pocket and removed a pair of red-framed glasses, which he unfolded and put on Grell, who closed his eyes when Sebastian's hands and glasses were close to his face. "You forgot these this morning on the table beside my bed; I know that you cannot see well without them." Sebastian withdrew his left hand and used his right to tuck a strand of hair behind Grell's ear before he also withdrew his right. "I am curious as to the reason you watched me with an expression I could not read when I came into the room, without your glasses I must have appeared unfocused. How did you feel, Grell? How do you feel now?"

Sebastian brought his face closer to Grell's and stared into his eyes with a enquiring expression, and for a short time Grell stared back, but he severed eye contact and looked from him to the bowl Sebastian had set in front of him earlier. Sebastian leaned back into the dining chair and listened as Grell told him that he felt tired because it was early in the morning. He went on to say, as Sebastian stood up from the chair to finish making Grell's tea with an estimated amount of sugar, that because he had inadvertently slept over he would be late for work, and he didn't know what he would tell William, who would be waiting for him and would demand an explanation for his whereabouts.

There was a loud clash of metal on metal that made Grell jump in his chair and shout out in fear. Grell looked to the source of the noise to see Sebastian crouching down to pick the sugar tongs up from the floor. "I apologise, I didn't mean to frighten you. I couldn't help but feel – well - surprised. Would you care to continue?" – But Grell didn't continue, he whispered that what he had meant to say wasn't important and busied himself with his oatmeal, which he told Sebastian (as he set his tea down beside him) tasted good, as usual.

...

William listened to Grell as he told him where he had been this morning when he was supposed to be working. Throughout Grell's explanation William had fidgeted where he stood, adjusted his glasses on his face, and coughed at pauses during what sounded to William like a memorised script. When Grell had finished, William ran his fingers through his short hair and summarised, "Alright, from the information you have given me, am I correct to assume that you were not here this morning for work because you were in London -"

Grell nodded his head up and down to encourage him to continue, "- in the _Phantomhive Children's Toy Shop_ to purchase the most recent model of a _Madame Missy Doll_, because you are so fond of the Madame Missy Doll that the Phantomhive demon gave you?" Grell nodded again, and William examined his appearance:

He didn't have the Madame Missy Doll with him, and when William questioned him about that he answered that he hadn't wanted to bring it into the store with him. Grell was not dressed in his standard, clean clothing but in the clothes he had worn yesterday and without the coat he had stolen from the woman he had murdered, the coat that he was so fond of. He also hadn't done his make-up, or worn cologne or trinkets (but for the plain, golden ring on his finger), or so much as glued his usual, plastic eyelashes to his eyelids which William disliked, but would rather have seen than not seen today.

William noticed that Grell held a paper shopping bag in his left hand, which if his story was true would hold whatever he bought. "Grell, would you let me see what you bought?" Grell said that he would, and handed William the shopping bag. Perhaps it was William's imagination, but he thought that Grell seemed nervous in doing this.

Inside the shopping bag was the following: a Phantomhive Peter Rabbit nesting doll, a small, decorative tea set with Mother Goose and Peter Rabbit themed paintings on the ceramic, and a jack-in-the-box which when William turned the crank surprised him with a jester and confetti which landed in his hair and on his coat. William was brushing these paper pieces off of him onto the floor when he asked Grell where the Madame Missy Doll he had been late to work for was.

Grell told him without hesitation that the doll had been sold out, and he added after as if on a whim that the reason he had left to visit the toyshop before work instead of after work was so that he might avoid this outcome. There was a tense silence as William considered what Grell had told him. The entire situation felt suspicious, but William had no proof that Grell was lying. As there was not a way to prove that Grell had been lying and it would be more trouble than it was worth to file a punishment for him, William told Grell that he was scheduled for cleaning duty and told him to begin work immediately or he would have to punish him. Grell responded with a subdued confirmation and left the room after securing his shopping bag.

…

William watched the sun, which had been so high when he had entered his office this morning, begin to set. Its light had changed from white to gold: this same gold shone over everything in William's office. It was on his desk, on the papers on his desk, and on his glasses on his face; it was on his glasses so that you couldn't see his eyes, which behind the shining lenses were two emerald green eyes that questioned even the sun. He had seen the sun rise and he had seen the sun set everyday of his life, why would it feel disheartening now?

He heard the door open behind him and the attractive sound of high-heeled shoes against a wooden floor. There was also the sound of a chair against the rug and the sound of a woman in a skirt positioning herself on this chair, with the stiff material of her stockings brushing against each other as she crossed her legs.

William didn't turn around but he acknowledged her presence, "Hello, Rachael." He heard Rachael answer with a comparable response.

William turned around and viewed her professional clothing, her well-done hair and makeup, and her spotless glasses on her appealing face. Somehow, he felt uncomfortable. "I know when he lies to me. It is upsetting. I know that I cannot expect him to tell me everything, but what he is not telling me now is something more important. I do not know what I should do…"

He had crossed his arms and had rested his chin against those arms, and he felt Rachael's hand in its leather glove caress the hair on his head against its fingers. As it was soothing, William continued: with his emerald green eyes that questioned even the sun shut. "He has been unlike himself ever since he was captured, ever since I brought him back here from the Phantomhive demon. I know because he does not act the same around his co-workers, or even me. I am so afraid that that demon, that _monster_ has taken him from me forever."

When he opened his eyes again, with his head resting on his arms, he noticed that his glasses were too low on his nose to see Rachael through their lenses; he stared at her uncertain figure and continued, "I do not know if he has sold him his soul, or even given him his heart: he has always worn his heart on his sleeve, and I would not be surprised if this naive nature has been taken advantage of."

He continued as the sun behind him disappeared, the last of its light leaving the room and enveloping the room, the furniture in the room, and even the people in the room in darkness. "I could be wrong, of course, but I cannot help but feel as if something terrible is going to happen to him - and perhaps to me too."

…

Sebastian had been counting the hours until Lord Ciel's bedtime, and when the well-tuned grandfather clock in the main room chimed at 8:45 PM Sebastian reminded Ciel that he must prepare for bed: which consisted of bathing, changing, and sleeping. It was when the Lord went to bed that the servants had the house to themselves, even Bard, Mey-Rin, and Finnian didn't go to bed when Ciel did. Sebastian had no intention to do otherwise; when the Lord was asleep he said good-bye to the three servants as he passed them on his way outside, without waiting for a response.

He had wanted to see Grell again, Sebastian had felt as if their earlier meeting this morning had been uncomfortable for Grell, and he wanted to visit him to resolve that. It was a long walk from the Phantomhive manor to the Ministry of Hades, but he passed the barrier that separated the Ministry of Hades from its surroundings and he walked through the gardens and around the side of the building and found Grell's window.

It was unlocked, and Sebastian climbed through without a sound. He did not come out into the moonlight of the open window or the light of Grell's oil-lamp, but remained in the shadows as to be certain that there was no one in the room and no one outside in the corridor. He waited with held breath, as he did sense someone in the room, and saw someone too:

He was a tall man, he had short, brown hair and round-framed, gilded glasses; he was wearing a black suit and tie and he also seemed to sense another presence but his own and Grell's in the room. From where he sat on the right side of Grell's bed, he looked left and right in an uncertain search.

Sebastian decided that there was no reason to hide; he was certain that if he did not reveal himself this reaper would search the room with more than his eyes, as was their mistrustful nature. Sebastian was uncertain as to how this reaper would react, so he stepped forward from the shadows into the full light of Grell's oil-lamp, with the moonlight on his back.

"He is beautiful, isn't he?" Sebastian asked, which caused the reaper to start in fright and turn to watch Sebastian in disbelief as he came closer, close enough even to sit on the edge of Grell's bed beside him. "I would appreciate if you would not start an alarm -" Sebastian said, with his hand against Grell's face and as he caressed Grell's check with his thumb. Although he did not look at the intruding reaper, he somehow knew that he was reaching for the alarm in Grell's room. "I have no intention to harm you or to harm anyone else here. I have come here before, and the princess is my only interest."

* * *

Caleb was about to reach for the alarm until he heard the intruder speak again, it almost made him laugh, but he held it back out of fear."What _princess?_ Do you mean this freak?" The reaper looked at Grell, who was sleeping soundly while the intruder lovingly caressed his cheek. Caleb frowned, this must have been the Sebastian that the_ princess_ had mentioned to him not too long ago, he supposed Grell wasn't lying when he said he had a lover, but there was something outlandish about this intruder. He had a strange aura about him; and not only that, he couldn't locate his soul – which could only mean that he didn't have one.

Could this intruder be a demon? Caleb had never seen one himself, but he had been taught a lot about them because of their soul devouring lifestyle. This demon said he was harmless, but if he knew how to enter the Ministry of Hades then he could get access to the library and all of its collected souls. Could Grell have chosen a _worse_ lover? Of course, this was probably the best he could get, but as far as Caleb's knowledge of demons went, weren't demons selfish creatures that were incapable of love? - and a reaper, which had an entirely opposite lifestyle from their own? Could Grell have made a deal with this demon? Could Grell have really been _so_ lonely?

"I suppose Grell does have some aspects of a princess. He is innocent, to have accepted a demon as his lover, which goes against everything we are. He is also too trusting, not only of you, but of me. He told me about you. I am assuming you are Sebastian. How does he know that I won't blackmail him, or even outright tell someone about your _forbidden love?_ Do you know what would happen? Grell's record is bad enough already, if anyone important finds out about your relationship there will be no mercy for him." Why did he feel so emotional all of a sudden? Caleb's heart was beating quickly, and he felt as if he were being swallowed. "But you probably don't even care, do you? You're just a heartless demon. You're probably using him somehow for your own benefit. That is what you demons do, you take advantage of the naïve ones like Grell – it is not his fault – he has problems, he has always been that way." Caleb paused a moment before continuing.

"But this is none of my business. Grell hates me. It would probably be in his best interest for him not to know I was here. I'll make a deal with you, demon - you like deals, right? I won't sound the alarm, or tell anyone about you as long as you don't tell Grell anything I said, or that I was even here. Farewell." With that, Caleb left Grell's room. He was fighting back tears as he whispered to himself, "_Grell, you are so stupid…"_

…

Grell had finished preparing for the morning and was on his way to the cafeteria for breakfast. After breakfast, he knew that he would have to go to the workroom and get his assignment for the day, but he didn't want to work today, he wanted to stay in his room and daydream about Sebastian until he could see him again. The reaper would often think about Sebastian in his spare time, and it was difficult for him to distract himself from those thoughts when he had to work – but he couldn't help it, he was so lucky to have found a lover.

Ironically, and unexpectedly, Grell was unluckily pulled around the corner he had just turned. He gasped out in surprise and held onto his Madame Missy doll tightly, but before he could verbally respond Caleb spoke in a hushed voice,

"You are going to _die_, Grell."

"What the hell, Caleb?"

"_Quiet-"_ Caleb looked around to make sure no one was there, "I am not going to beat around the bush. I know your Sebastian is a demon, and -"

"_How on earth do you know?_"

"Be quiet! It doesn't matter how I know, what does matter is that you know what you've gotten yourself into! Whether you have made a contract with him or not, he is still untrustworthy and is going to eat your soul – he is going to kill you, Grell! Do you not remember anything that we've learned as reapers – that they are the absolute enemy? He doesn't love you, he doesn't know how to – he is _using_ you!"

"What do _you_ know about him, Caleb? He is different from other demons!"

"Of course you would say that, that is what he wants you to think! Demons are deceitful creatures, they only care about themselves! To him, it's all a game that you're going to lose!"

"I don't care!"

Caleb gripped Grell by the arms, "Grell, if anyone in the Elder Council becomes aware of your relationship with him they're going to execute you! You've already damaged your reputation with them enough; no one will be able to rescue you this time! _Why don't you care?"_

"A loveless person like you wouldn't understand! Why do_ you_ care? Since when have you ever been so concerned about me? You don't care about me! Why would you care if I die or not? You're the one who's always saying yo-"

Caleb kissed him.

It didn't last very long, and when Caleb pulled away, the consciousness of what had happened followed him. He looked at Grell for a moment, before shoving him away and furiously turning the corner – leaving the other alone.

Grell stood there in shock; he could hardly process that whole encounter. Caleb was so strange – who kisses someone during a fight like that? Jerk. Grell hated him.

Grell sighed, why now? Why now that Grell finally had a steady lover did William and Caleb have to start expressing their interest in him? It wasn't fair; they were all so possessive and jealous. And Grell couldn't help but love being gripped and shoved with romance. Goodness, but Grell couldn't like Caleb – he was ridiculous. He decided he would try to forget the whole thing.

The kiss had distracted Grell entirely from all of what Caleb just said.


	60. Chapter 60

AN: You thought that there wasn't going to be a chapter 60.

* * *

Grell was at work, which would on a normal occasion put William in a good mood, but not today. William did not care whether Grell was working or not today. He sipped his coffee, which was as black as his mood, as he turned the page of what he was reading. He frowned and wished that he had something stronger.

William was in Grell's room. He was sitting on the edge of Grell's bed and sipping his coffee. His calm appearance was an act, it almost always was. Grell's books were around William's feet, but the books that he had read were not regular books, but Grell's diaries. Grell was at work, he didn't know.

The older diaries were written in black ink, the recent diaries were written in red ink, which did nothing to improve William's aggravated temper. William had reached Grell's most recent diary and discovered something that Grell had been attempting to keep from him. Grell had been dating Sebastian Michaelis.

It was bad enough that Sebastian Michaelis was not a reaper, but was a demon. Reapers were the sworn enemies of demons and vice versa because of the human soul. Reapers wanted to collect the human soul, and demons wanted to consume the human soul. Grell knew this, Sebastian knew this, and William knew this. However, William had personal reasons for his distrust of demons.

William knew that if the Elder Council discovered this information that Grell would be killed. William disliked the Elder Council, which was something that William would never dare to say out loud. The Elder Council had been established after the death of the Grim Reaper to maintain order in the Ministry of Hades. The Elder Council consisted of the Grim Reaper's personal reapers. William's personal reapers (for example) were Grell and Ronald.

The Elder Council changed their location once a year to a country where a Ministry of Hades existed, but ruled all from that location. This might have been a good idea at the time; however the Grim Reaper's personal reapers were too old to be ruling young reapers. Ronald was 19, for example (he had become a reaper at 18). William had released Ronald from training a month ago, which was one year and one month since his resurrection.

Grell was about 200, and William was no more than 50 years older than Grell. Grell and William had lived more than double the life of an average human, but even their ages were insignificant in comparison to the ages of the reapers of the Elder Council. The Elder Council were relics rather than people, and dealt out judgement and death to those who broke their rules, which was a common crime among the young and the young at heart.

William set down Grell's diary and put his face in his hand. It would be like the Jack the Ripper trial. Grell would be in a low seat before the Elder Council in thirteen high seats. William would be in a low seat beside Grell because he was his manager. It would be a silent and threatening environment.

William would not look at Grell, and when summoned to defend himself, Grell would tell the Elder Council that he did not regret what he had done. He would tell the Elder Council that the women that he and Angelina had killed deserved to die, and that if he had the chance he would do it again. It was an act for attention; an act that William was certain Grell would follow through to his death, because a good actor will never break character.

If William had not interrupted he doubted that Grell would still be alive today. He had interrupted Grell and told the Elder Council that Grell's behaviour was his fault. He had said that Grell was misguided because William had not been there to guide him. He had not paid enough attention to Grell and was unaware of his actions until it had reached this point, and if the Elder Council would give him another chance he would retrain Grell and keep him under closer supervision.

The Elder Council agreed, but demoted Grell to a level one dispatcher (he had been level three of three levels before) and took his beloved death scythe from him but still required him to work without it. (Grell had used his own nail scissors to manage) What was worse was that both of their records and their reputations in the office were degraded, what with motivational posters and brochures encouraging dispatchers not to be like Grell and managers not to be like William.

If Grell were put on trial again then there would be nothing William could do to save him, he knew that even if he tried to blame himself for Grell's actions then it would result in both of their deaths. The Elder Council could not understand emotion or love, what with their ages so advanced that they could not remember how either might have felt. Sometimes William felt just like them.

William would not allow Grell to continue his relationship with this Sebastian, with this demon. When William thought of their relationship it made him clench his fists and his teeth behind a frown, it made him livid that Grell would risk his life to be with a demon, a demon who he knew was an enemy to their kind and a personal enemy to William, after everything that William had done for him. No, William would not allow this relationship to continue, both of their lives meant more than Sebastian, and he would make Grell see that.

...

Ronald Knox had promised Grell that whenever Grell was available he would take him out for a Peach Melba, which was a delicious creation that consisted of peaches and raspberry sauce over vanilla ice cream. Knox had told Grell that when he was human he had been a sailor and lived on a ship on the sea where all there was to eat was fish and all there was to drink was salt water and urine.

He had laughed at Grell's disgust and continued that as a human sailor, when his ship was anchored at shore the captain would give him his spare change to buy himself whatever he fancied ("because the captain fancied me!") and he would go to the nearest bar and buy a Peach Melba. Knox had been devastated to hear from Grell that he had never had one, and made his promise.

Knox and Grell had a dual assignment and had been completing that assignment as William had been reading Grell's diaries. Reaping was more fun when there were more reapers ("the more the merrier!") and it took at least twice as long as it might have taken either Knox or Grell alone to do the same assignment. When the two did finish their assignment around 2:00 PM they agreed to write their dual report together over a Peach Melba.

Knox and Grell stopped at the nearest bar and ordered a Peach Melba. The Peach Melba was beautiful; it was a bowl of vanilla ice cream with four ripe peach slices around the edge of the bowl. There were whipped cream and sliced almonds on top, and the whole treat was drizzled with thick raspberry sauce. When Knox had secured the bowl the two decided to sit at an outside table because it was a warm summer afternoon.

The two sat down at the table under an umbrella that was connected to the table and ate their dessert, without discussing the dual report at all. Instead the friends discussed whatever came to mind. Grell was laughing at what Knox had told him, when Knox noticed that Grell had whipped cream on the tip of his nose, from his spoon Knox supposed. Knox smiled a wicked smile and waited until Grell overcame his laughter to lick the whipped cream from the tip of his nose.

Grell shouted at the contact and laughed again, telling Knox not to do that again, and he didn't care if he had whipped cream on his nose. (It was apparent, however, that Grell would like nothing more than for Knox to lick him again from the wild rose colour on his cheeks). It was in this moment that Knox realised that he was fond of Grell.

He frowned; when Knox was fond of someone it often meant that he had a sexual attraction to them. Knox had been fond of Grell as a friend before, but he realised that he felt different now, it might have been that he licked him, but whatever it was it felt good and he wanted more. He asked in a casual tone, "Are you still dating Sebastian, Grell?"

However, Grell noticed the intention behind Knox's words and smiled. He asked if Knox was attracted to him, without shame, which didn't answer his question. Knox smiled back, he hadn't expected to be discovered this soon, but he decided that he wouldn't give Grell a direct answer, either. He answered, "Perhaps, but are you?" he attempted to remind Grell that he had asked him a question, and Grell responded, that he was, but it was complicated.

When Knox asked how, Grell explained that he was dating Sebastian, but William and Caleb were determined to claim him for their own. Grell expressed that it was unusual, because although William had expressed interest in him before, (and had even kissed him and had sex with him before) their relationship had never been confirmed as more than boss and worker, parent and child, etc.

Caleb was even more strange, Grell expressed, because although Caleb and Grell were enemies, Caleb had kissed him yesterday! Knox was surprised, he had never expected that Caleb might be attracted to Grell (as more than a joke) or kiss him. Knox sat for a moment to contemplate on this new information. Grell was dating Sebastian, and had almost been dating William before he had been dating Sebastian, and Caleb had kissed him yesterday even though before yesterday the thought would have been incomprehensible.

Knox decided that Grell must be stressed or at least confused; however, Knox knew that Grell must be having a good time. Grell was a romantic and must be savouring the romance that he was attracting. He was an actor (or actress) and must be savouring more than the romance, but the drama. He decided that Grell would like more.

Knox reached across the table, over their Peach Melba, and kissed him. He brushed his tongue against his lips as he had brushed his tongue against his nose, and Grell opened his mouth for him. Knox couldn't help but feel excited that he had been right, that Grell wanted him. Knox trailed his tongue across the inside of his mouth (he was careful to avoid his teeth) and across and against Grell's tongue, which tasted like Peach Melba.

Knox ran his hands down Grell's shoulders, Grell's shoulder-blades, and Grell's back and relished the goose bumps he felt underneath the clothing. Grell trembled in his arms and Knox held him firmer. Knox and Grell broke the kiss for a moment to breath before Knox brought their lips together again. Knox groaned into the kiss, as he had during other kisses with other women (Grell was the first man he had ever kissed, and he was older than him!) and Grell responded with a similar sound.

Knox had his arms around Grell's waist, but he lowered his right hand and gripped Grell's right cheek. He felt Grell gasp into the second kiss and pull back to whisper that this was so sudden, he also asked why. A wide smile came across Knox's face and he reached in to lick the rim of his ear and whisper into the delicate organ, "It's a good day. You're pretty and I am bored, and horny. How do you feel about me, Grell?"

Knox was surprised when Grell scoffed. He blinked in confusion when Grell asked if he had ever been with a man before, Grell told Knox that he doubted he could even handle him. Knox didn't understand what he had done wrong, and decided that he would have to prove to Grell that he was strong enough to handle him. Knox rolled his eyes and he moved his right hand from his hard ass to his knee. "Well, that doesn't answer my question, but to answer yours: I have never been with a man, but how hard could it be to figure out? Women. Women are beautiful. Women are complicated. I get exhausted when I am dating a woman, she makes demands that I can't fulfil. She wants commitment and children, but I just want to have a good time."

Knox lowered his eyes to his hand on Grell's knee. Grell also lowered his eyes in response. Knox moved his hand up Grell's leg to his thigh, where he stopped and rubbed the warm area, careful to ignore Grell's budding erection. Knox looked back up, and so did Grell. Knox stared into those green eyes and was surprised to notice they were not green, but yellow. Those yellow eyes were the colour of a beast, and the animalistic feel he sensed in them inspired a sudden lust in him. It was nothing he had ever seen in a woman.

"I am a man, and you are a man too, however much you want to be a woman or try to be a woman. However different we are, we have enough in common. I know what I want as a man, I know what I need, and your needs must be similar. Do you know what you want, what you need, Grell?" Knox stopped his rubbing and grasped Grell's erection in his large hand. He laughed at the responsive moan, and whispered in a low and sexy voice, "Do you want me, Grell? I want you. I want to try something new, and you can provide that for me."

As Knox had expected, Grell said yes.

...

Knox entered his bedroom with Grell and shut the door behind them. Knox and Grell had stopped at William's office to turn in their report before entering Knox's room, but William wasn't there. The two shoved the report under the door into William's office and entered Knox's bedroom, where they wanted to be.

Knox let out a low laugh when he wrapped his arms around Grell's waist and kissed him. However, Grell did not want to be kissed, Grell wanted more. He broke their kiss and trailed his tongue along Knox's jaw until he reached his ear. He kissed Knox's neck once, twice, before he bit on his neck with his sharp teeth.

Knox growled and smacked Grell's ass. Grell shouted and while he was distracted, Knox shoved Grell onto his bed. The bed was made to hold one, but the bed was against the wall and faced a vertical direction. Knox had pushed Grell onto the bed in a horizontal direction, so Grell was not supported past his waist and his long legs hung over the edge.

There was a moment of silence but for their panting. Knox stared into Grell's eyes and Grell started back. A moment later, Knox broke the silence with, "You will not bite, unless I tell you otherwise. Do not misunderstand, Grell. I may be younger than you, but I am the alpha male, and you are the omega male. I dominate this relationship." Grell did not respond, but that was enough for Knox, who bent forward and began to unbutton Grell's vest with his teeth. Grell watched with irritation, and was frustrated to see that he had another shirt underneath his vest!

Grell whispered for Knox to be faster, but Knox ignored him. He had finished unbuttoning Grell's vest and Knox pulled his head back to remove it. He unbuttoned Grell's shirt after that with his hands, and removed it too. Grell laid there, bare-chested, but still wearing more clothes than he would like. Grell whispered Knox's name, but Knox was removing his own clothing.

Grell watched, fascinated, as Knox undressed to reveal a torso that was as fit as Sebastian's or William's, but not as thin as Sebastian's or as broad as William's. When Knox removed his shoes, undid his belt and removed his pants he was naked but for tight, white drawers that covered but did not hide his great erection. Grell felt his heart skip a beat when Knox turned again to him, but he was not looking at Knox's face, but in-between his legs. He felt an ache in his stomach, or the region of his stomach, inspired by overwhelming lust.

Knox unlaced Grell's shoes, and Grell watched impatiently, as he had before. As he made to unbutton Grell's trousers, he slid his hands up from his ankles to the button of his trousers, avoiding Grell's straining erection but coming close, which caused a violent shiver down Grell's spine and a strong throb in-between his legs.

Grell groaned and kicked his legs, perhaps in an attempt to buck his hips in his awkward angle, but Knox only laughed as he undid Grell's button and unzipped his pants. Grell's pants were removed and Grell was revealed to not be wearing drawers, as Knox was, but decorative underwear for women! Knox stared at Grell's large, pulsating erection straining against the delicate lace woven for a woman, and laughed. He removed the garment and began to remove his own, deciding he would comment later.

Knox was aware that Grell was staring as he removed his drawers and unleashed his enormous manhood, which was what Knox wanted. Knox was beside his bed and reached for the lotion he kept on his bedside table. He unscrewed the cap and poured the lotion into his hands before he grasped his own erection with a gasp to lubricate it.

He had the self-control to remove his hands, unlike Grell would have, who had to make a conscience effort to keep his arms folded. Knox glanced at Grell and asked, "I've never done this before. What do I do now?" Grell growled and grabbed the lotion from Knox. Grell poured the lotion onto his hands, but made the mistake of pouring too much and pouring some on his chest. It was cold, but Grell didn't even feel it. Knox watched as Grell inserted his middle finger into his entrance and rotated it.

Grell also inserted his index and ring finger and rotated those too. He stretched his inner walls with those fingers and withdrew, to do it again, and once more. Knox found Grell preparing himself to be very arousing, and he no longer wanted to wait to enter him. Grell's legs were hanging over the edge of the bed, and Knox took those legs and positioned them against his hips. Grell understood that he was to keep them in that general area, and he watched, his heart beating fast in his ears as Knox pressed against him.

Knox tried to enter slowly, but Grell used his legs positioned around Knox's waist to pull him inside. Knox and Grell cried out at the same time, Knox because Grell was hot and tight on the inside, as tight as a virgin (although he knew he wasn't, because Grell had been with Sebastian and William) and Grell because Knox's tip had brushed against his expectant prostate.

Knox did not hesitate to create a rhythm; he pulled out to the tip and pushed in to the base, again and again. Knox had never been with a man, but he caught on that Grell reacted best when he angled his thrusting to hit a bulge inside him, and Knox aimed for that. Knox could tell when Grell was close, because like a woman, he became tighter as he came closer to orgasm. Each thrust felt better than the last for Knox and Grell, and Knox could feel pressure building in his abdomen.

He was panting, sweating, and too concerned with his oncoming orgasm to realise how exhausted he was. Grell was breathing harder and faster and whispered those words to Knox, who complied as best he could. The resulting pressure created an urge so intense that Grell had no choice but to take his own manhood into his hand and begin to pump himself. He pumped up and down, using his pre-cum as a lubricant, and whispering Knox's name with each simultaneous thrust and pump until he felt a powerful contraction in his stomach and he shouted out as his seed spilled onto his stomach.

Grell was too concerned with his own orgasm to realise that Knox had reached his; it must have lasted for a whole minute. It might have been an exaggeration, but Grell had been waiting for release for a long time. From the time Grell and Sebastian began dating, the couple had had sexual intercourse a number of times, but not since Grell had told Sebastian that he loved William. Grell and William were not dating, but had had sexual intercourse multiple times throughout their long time together, but not recently.

Grell had needed that.

...

William had finished reading Grell's diaries and had stacked them neatly beside Grell's bed where he sat, waiting for Grell to return. He looked out the window at the setting sun, hiding behind dark clouds that threatened rain. Somehow, the sunset was all the more beautiful because of the overcast. The sunset was no longer orange and pink, but the sun was still there as a golden white light behind a cloud. The clouds had not been there earlier today, which had been sunny, but had blown in from the west almost as if the environment were trying to mimic William's mood.

The door opened. William glanced away from the window to face Grell, who was re-buttoning his vest over an un-tucked blouse as he walked through the door. Grell did not notice William; it was when Grell looked up from his vest that he saw William on his bed. Grell stared and William stared back, the white sunlight reflecting on the lenses of William's glasses, hiding his eyes. William frowned at Grell's appearance.

An un-buttoned vest, an un-tucked blouse, skin shining with cold perspiration, blood under neat nails, tangled hair and the unmistakable smell of sweat, blood, and semen. William stood from Grell's bed and turned his back to the window to face Grell. There was a moment of silence as the two examined each other, Grell could tell from William's expression that his manager was upset with him, but he didn't know why. He hadn't done anything wrong today.

William growled, "You were supposed to be working today. I can tell from your appearance that you have not been. You were with him, weren't you?" Grell opened his mouth to speak, but William interrupted him before he could.

"Silence!" Grell shut his mouth and stared in surprise, and William took an intake of breath before he continued. "I will not be interrupted. I have something important to discuss with you. I've read your diaries." Grell became rigid and stared more intently, and William continued, "You are not an idiot, although you act like one, and you know what you wrote in your diaries. I know what you wrote in your diaries also." William had paced the room, but now he paused and faced Grell again.

He picked up Grell's most recent diary from the stack and explained, "However, I wanted to remind you what you have written that has upset me," and William quoted, 'Sebastian rescued me from the demon who kidnapped me, he fought and tricked him, as he fights and tricks all of his opponents and won. There was a moment during the fight when he reminded me of Eric, my previous lover, which was when he tended to me rather than his opponent and was almost attacked at my expense. It was unlike him to let down his guard, even more so during a fight, for me..."

"Sebastian took me to his home and tended my wounds. I do not remember much from the time he rescued me to the time he took me to his home, but I do remember him holding me. I haven't thought of home until now, but having thought of home I realise that it is impossible for me to return due to illness and injury, I have come down with an awful fever due to infection. Sebastian has cured the infection, but the fever remains..." William looked up from the diary to tell Grell, "You could have come home, you could have contacted me and I would have been there for you. I know you know your own home phone number." William looked back down and continued reading, turning pages when he needed to.

"I have been recovering... I have been exploring Sebastian's home... Sebastian kissed me! I broke the kiss due to surprise, but I wish that I hadn't, I have wanted for so long for him to kiss me and I am worried that I may never be kissed by him again. He is the most beautiful man that I have met and ever will meet. I never want to leave his home to return to my own. I feel like I am living in a fairytale, Sebastian even compared me to fairytale stories, he has a gift with words." William said as he turned the page, "He is a demon; all demons have gifts with words. It is in their nature to deceive you!"

"William came for me today. I did not want to leave, but William made me. He was very rude to Sebastian and me, although I can understand his reasoning, I do not agree with it. I do not think that it is fair that he should be upset with me because I was too ill to return home. I know that the only reason he wants me home is so that I can work..." William only shook his head with a frown on his face as he continued reading. "I sent Sebastian a letter, and he replied! I received Sebastian's letter today, and it was full of wonderful compliments that made me feel happy as I haven't in a miserable amount of time. I replied to Sebastian's letter and sent it today, and I hope that he responds to that letter also! I might have actually found someone outside of this awful organisation that I can have a correspondence with! I might begin to feel less lonely...

... I met with Sebastian tonight and he made love to me, as I have wanted him to ever since I saw him, or even before that: ever since I imagined him. I have always imagined someone like him. Someone who looks like him. Someone who acts like him. Someone who loves like him. Sebastian is a character that has appeared in my fantasies throughout my entire life. Even now, after he carried me home as I was in too much pain to ride my bicycle home again, I think that he might be imaginary... William doesn't know, and if all is well, he never will..."

William set the diary down on the stack again and examined the uncomfortable expression on Grell's face. At the moment, William was too enraged to attempt to understand what reason Grell might have had for doing what he did, and growled, "You have disappointed me beyond words, Grell. I know from experience that you have a knack for being problematic, whether you are murdering humans, or breaking every rule the Elder Council or I make with intention to do so, but you have never done anything that has upset me as much as this. It is one thing to lie to me; you've done that before, but it another thing to have a sexual relationship with a demon behind my back!"

William didn't see that Grell cowered at his words, all William saw was red. "I know you know how many rules you are breaking! You know the rules better than anyone else here! When is there a day when I do not have to remind you to stop doing this or to start doing that, and when have you ever listened to me? Never! I know you know that when you have a sexual relationship outside of the Ministry of Hades, when you have a sexual relationship outside of the Ministry of Hades with a demon, that you are not just endangering yourself but me too! If the Elder Council ever discovered what you were doing, we would both be killed!

I already know that you have no respect for me, it is apparent from your blatant disregard of what I have done for you, what I have sacrificed for you and what I ask in return, but for you to betray my love for you for sexual intercourse with a demon? If I hadn't explained to you before that demons are loveless creatures, I would think that you were in love with him, or even more ridiculous, that you think he is in love with you! He isn't in love with you, he is using you! I know you were with him today, but -"

Grell shouted, "I wasn't with Sebastian! I was with Ronald!"

William shouted in response, " - then you are a _whore!_ I should have never created you!"

William regretted it the moment he said it. He paused, and after a moment of contemplation, he turned to face the wall. There was silence for another moment, before William heard Grell run out of the room and slam the door behind him.

* * *

Grell had been hurt various times before by the things William had said to him, but _never_ before had he felt as much pain from words as he did right now.

There was no doubt about it, William hated him. Grell had betrayed him, it was true – he broke the most highly enforced rule pertained to the Ministry of Hades, and at the same time ignored William's warnings and bitterness towards demons – all so he could satisfy his selfish desires for love and affection. Grell didn't get enough from William, even though Grell knew that William had loved him, William hid his emotions behind a cold attitude and a stiff tone, and sometimes it was hard for him to remember that.

Now, it was clear that any love William had previously harboured for him was gone. He had said he regretted ever creating him – meaning that Grell was better off dead – in William's mind. Grell felt lost without William, because without William, Grell had no purpose. He didn't know where he was running to, but he knew that he couldn't stay at the Ministry, he didn't belong there anymore. The Ministry of Hades was sure to find out eventually now that William knew, and Grell would most likely end up dead. William had taken the blame for him once already, there was nothing he could do he help him now, not that he would want to help him anymore. William _hated_ him! William didn't love him anymore!

Grell had run outside of the barrier that shielded the London Division of the Ministry of Hades from the rest of the world, and he made it deep into the forests that surrounded the barrier when Grell stopped in his tracks, panting. He felt weak and his heart ached.

"_Oh William, I am so sorry…_" Grell whispered.

He felt tears building up in his eyes. William didn't understand Sebastian; he was different from other demons! "_I don't know what demons have done to hurt you in the past, William, but Sebastian is different. I trust him, he wouldn't hurt me…"_ Grell thought, while blinking hard to let his tears drip. _"I know you think I'm naïve, but I can feel the connection between us, I can feel it in my heart, and I can sense it in his… It is like the connection I felt with Eric, although we were not able to express it to one another. It is like the connection I felt with you, when you still loved me…"_ Grell clenched his fists. _"When you loved me!"_

Grell began to run again, he ran without stopping, unsure of where he was leading himself – until eventually he found himself standing in front of the Phantomhive Manor.

How had he ended up here? It must have been fate - it was a sign that there was still a small bit of hope left for him. _"Sebastian, you still love me…"_ Grell managed a small smile, despite his tears, and the pain in his heart. _"Yes, he does, Sebastian can take care of me…"_ Grell had decided - he was going to live here from now on.

Even if William didn't love Grell anymore, Grell would love him forever, and he would always harbour a special place for him in his heart that even Sebastian couldn't fill…

Fortunately, Grell kept the key that Sebastian had given him in his vest pocket. He knew that the child was probably awake, and that Sebastian could sense his presence – so he decided that the best option was to unlock the back-gate and wait for Sebastian to let him in. Grell normally came to see Sebastian at night, when the child was asleep, so he wasn't sure how things were going to turn out in this situation. He only hoped that Sebastian wouldn't be mad at him.

Grell unlocked the back-gate that led to the Phantomhive Gardens, and seated himself in the grass before a flowerbed, which harboured many bright red poppies. He couldn't resist his temptation – and picked one. Holding the flower in his hand, he remembered a particular girl-child he had been friends with in his human life, when he was young. She had told him that the red poppy flower looked a lot like him, and made a ring out of one as a gift. Grell sobbed, that had been over two-hundred years ago – so why did he still remember it? What impact did that girl and her comment have on him? He twirled the flower in his hand. It was bright red and beautiful.

He had always wondered what had happened to her after that, she just disappeared. Grell had assumed she was kidnapped, because she hadn't said anything to him about her going away; but maybe that was a bit extreme. He remembered that he was planning on giving her a flower ring made out a yellow daisy, because of her yellow hair – but he never got to.

His father was probably the cause of her disappearance; he was always good as destroying everything that gave Grell any sort of happiness in his life. Like that stray puppy he found and tried to take home. He found it dead the next day. His mother, he eventually dispatched, but that was more for his own personal reasons than because of Grell's fondness of her. And, of course – _Eric_. Grell had loved him the most. But Grell thought to himself again, why did he hold on to the past? Why was he constantly reminded of people and moments from his tragic, human life?

Grell had been sitting out here for a while, and he noticed the poppy flower he had picked was wilting. He could feel its pain; the reaper thought that if he were a flower, he would be this one. He wondered why Sebastian hadn't let him in yet; couldn't he still sense his presence? Perhaps by not coming to get him, he was trying to tell him to leave. Grell knew he shouldn't be here during the day, but he had nowhere else to go…

As Grell had almost lost all hope, he saw Sebastian open the backdoor that led to the garden, step outside, and close the door behind him. Grell stared at Sebastian as he approached, he was so beautiful, and he wished his sight wasn't so blurred with tears, so that he could see the demon better.


End file.
